Having to work with another detective on a case leads to difficulties between Starsky and Hutch.
I stirred with the first rays of the morning sun peeking through the partially drawn curtain and felt the warmth radiating from my lover of the last 2 years. I turned my head not wanting to disturb his sleep. The dark curls were flared over the soft pillow and a contented smile gently tugged at the corners of my mouth. Starsky gave a small sigh and stretched languidly. I wondered at what he had been dreaming.
I didn’t want to rise but I knew Dobey would have our hide if we were late for work. There were still a few precious minutes before I would wake my sleeping partner.
Sitting up, I propped a pillow at my back and gazed at the love of my life. Even with the passing of two years, Starsky never ceased to amaze me at the depth of his love, passion and desire for me. For me! I could never have thought myself to be so lucky. I am so much in love with a man who loves me just as much in return.
My mind wandered back to that evening that changed our lives forever. Starsky had been coy and his usual jests over the latter part of his 9 month recovery from Gunther’s bullets had taken on an increasingly flirtatious aspect. I had willingly joined the banter and without realizing we had entered into the beginnings of a courtship as such.
All I knew was I worked the day away, always impatient to be home with my partner. When the guys at the precinct gathered after work, I always had an excuse to not join them. When a pretty little lady battered her eye-lashes my way, I chose to not take her up on her advances. I suppose I never really thought about why I had no desire to do anything unless it included my partner, Starsky, who was always at home waiting for my return. Funny, he never demanded to know when I’d be back, never asked about my lady friends, never pried too deep into my affairs. He was impatient with his recovery, despondent at times after a particularly difficult physical therapy session, chatty when telling me of a movie he’d seen that afternoon, or recounting a conversation he’d had with his mother. Other times he was quiet but he was always happy to see me when I walked in the door. He would call out to me from the couch or would meet me at the door enquiring after the day I’d had and wanting to know the latest office gossip or the details of a case I was working on.
I would ask about his day, making big of his small successes as he worked tirelessly to recover the form he’d lost after the shooting that nearly took him from me. When he despaired of ever being able to return to the police force, I would guide him to his exercise mat for an additional stretching and strengthening routine. His muscles would ache and he would grimace in pain but he’d stick at it, seemingly for my sake as much for his own. It were these times when the doubts would surface and he would ask me, “Do you think I’m stronger than yesterday,” or “last week,” or, (if he were really low), “from last month.” I would encourage him as best I could and I would massage those tired muscles and rub aloe into the scars to make them more supple. I could see improvement. Perhaps not on a daily basis but definitely on a weekly basis and I would tell him so. He would flash one of those Starsky smiles. Sometimes the smile would even reach his eyes and it was only at those times I knew he believed me and could acknowledge the improvement himself. Other times the smile would stop short of his eyes and I would know the smile was for my benefit as he tried to assure me everything would be all right even if he didn’t quite believe it himself.
Starsky stirred and a searching arm reached out for me. He laid his forearm across my thigh and settled immediately with the contact. I watched his even breathing and my heart swelled with love for this man who made me so incredibly happy.
My mind returned to the pleasant memories all those years ago. One evening I’d entered the house to find Starsky literally bouncing around the living room. He leant slightly forward, placed both hands in the air waist high, palms down to emphasize he had some important news and he was busting a gut to share. The words had come tumbling out. He had an appointment at the review board and it was set for Monday next. He felt he was ready. Did I think he was ready he demanded to know. I laughed with him and all the months of agony, hard work, endless exercise routine all seemed worth it. Yes, I thought he was ready and I was happy for both him and me because soon he would be back at work, back to being my partner. It would be like old times.
Later than evening, Starsky had seemed in a reflective mood and I prodded to learn what he was thinking. “Why so quiet?”
“Hutch,” he asked plaintively, “How much longer do you think I’ll be here?”
I looked up startled and looked straight into his unwavering gaze. I’d never thought about anything past getting him fully recovered and ready to pass the review board. How had I never considered this question before? His query took my breath away and I struggled to answer.
“What do you mean, Starsk?” I hedged for time as I rapidly calculated all possible scenarios. Did he want to go? Was he giving me a way to ask him to leave? Was he asking this for his or my benefit?
“How much longer do you think I should stay here….living with you…?” His voiced trailed off into silence.”
“Do you have plans?” I felt my stomach twist.
“Well, not really,” he replied. “I suppose now I have an appointment with the review board and assuming I’m found fit for duty, I have to think of future plans.”
I smiled as I recalled that conversation. I smile now, but neither of us were smiling at that time.
“Well, let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. You may not pass.” I’d wanted to squash the subject. Wanted to defer the inevitable and the words had come tumbling out without thought.
The silence hung in the room between us. I heard the words I’d just uttered reverberate around us. Starsky, for the first time looked away from me and I felt cold.
“You don’t think I’ll pass?” His voice was quiet, subdued. The resignation I heard cut me.
“No, that’s not what I meant at all.” Suddenly he seemed tired and his shoulders slumped as if with a great burden. I rose from my chair and crossed to where he was sitting on the couch. I laid a hand on the nape of his neck and gave a small shake. “I do think you’re ready and I do think you’ll pass. I just think talking about you leaving here….. leaving me… is still a ways off.”
He leant into my shoulder and sighed. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do. This has been my home and I don’t want to leave.”
“Starsk, what makes you think you have to leave? I’ve never even thought about it.” I struggled to think where this had come from.
“Well, I’ve been nothing but a burden to you. You’ve changed your whole routine to accommodate me. You work hard all day and then assist me in my exercises. You haven’t had a girl over because I’ve always been here. You haven’t even gone on a date.”
“Starsky, will you stop it? Have I ever complained? Truth be known I’ve enjoyed your company…..having you here with me. When you were dying in the hospital I thought my life was ending too. These long months of recovery were hard on both of us. You, because of the pain, and me, because I didn’t have my partner with me during the day. But in the evening, I could come home and it would be like old times.”
I shuddered at the memory of two years ago and Starsky inched closer to me in his sleep. I knew he would soon be awake and our day would start. I loved this time of day…..taking a few moments to think, reflect on my life and marvel again how I had never been so happy in all of my life. The man I loved was by my side, devoted to me, generous in his love, passionate in his actions. I still could not believe that he would choose to give himself totally to me. What had I done to deserve him?
Again my thoughts returned to that evening we had realized together what we meant to each other.
Starsky had turned to look at me. He shuddered before replying. “I don’t want to leave.”
“Then don’t. I don’t know why you’re talking like this. You don’t have to make any plans and quite frankly, I don’t want to talk about it.” I got up annoyed that I couldn’t keep the snappiness out of my voice that only fear had put there. I took a step toward the kitchen before looking back over my shoulder at Starsky. He looked reflective.
“Come on Starsk, help with dinner.”
“Yeah.” He jumped to his feet with a nimbleness that belied the thoughtful expression he’d worn just moments ago and I had thought the evening would settle into our usual comfortable routine. But Starsky was in a strange mood. He sidled up behind me and leaned over my shoulder looking at my preparations for dinner. “What would you say if I never, ever left?” he’d wanted to know.
“Well, Starsk, regardless of what I might want, one day you’re going to find a little lovely for yourself and then you’ll be gone.”
He’d leant a little closer and I could feel his breath on my neck. He stopped short for a moment before reaching over my arm for a sliver of carrot I’d been cutting. “Regardless of what you might want?” he repeated.
“Okay, where is this coming from?” My hand slapped the counter. I was exasperated and to tell the truth, all this talk of Starsky leaving was causing a gaping hole to open in my chest. I was surprised at my reaction and I didn’t know how to fix it. Starsky’s questions were forcing me to think on a topic I’d never considered before and the emotional pain it was causing me made me uncomfortable and took me by surprise. I turned to face him, determined to put an end to this topic once and for all.
Starsky was standing close and I could feel the tension in his body, coiled tight like a spring. He looked at me, a slight hesitation. “I suppose you do love me to have put up with me all these months.” His eyelids fluttered downward to the carpet.
“Of course I do, you big klutz.”
Starsky looked up and gave me a hug. His head turned slightly in to mine and I felt a whisper light movement of his lips against my hair. “Thank you.”
His body close to mine and the movement of his fleeting lips elicited a response I was not anticipating. I turned my head to him in turn unsure if he had intended his lips to touch my hair. His cheek was by my own and as I murmured a reply, my own lips brushed against his skin. I’d felt a shudder course through his body and he lowered his head into my neck. His ragged breathing was hot against my throat. I pulled him closer and he tilted his head back to look at me. A slight movement forward and our lips touched, briefly, softly. A flutter of confusion crossed his eyes and I knew they mirrored my own. But neither of us had drawn apart. Starsky had not pushed away and I had no desire to let him go. Hesitantly, cautiously, I moved my lips to his again and felt them open to me. I marveled at how responsive they were. We pulled away gasping. I could feel my cheeks flush and Starsky was turning away from me, obviously flustered and embarrassed. I knew I did not want him to go. I grabbed at his arm and pulled him around to face me. His eyes looked into mine and I kissed him, passionately, demandingly, with an urgency that conveyed my desires and intentions. And I knew then what he had known already; that I wanted him and he wanted me by each other’s side, forever.
That evening was two years ago and still brought a burning thrill through my body.
Starsky moved and I looked down to my right where he was lying and returned his loving gaze. Starsky looked warm, rested and sated from the night before. He rolled onto his back and stretched his right arm above his head. “`Morning beautiful,” he purred. I rolled over and took his out-stretched arm in my hand covering his body with my own. He smiled a Starsky smile meant only for me and in it I saw the love he held for me and me alone. I groaned with pleasure and knew Dobey would have our hides.
* * *
We arrived at the office only ten minutes late. Dobey flashed us a reproving glance but did not voice his annoyance. It could have been worse. We could have been an hour and ten minutes late. He tossed his head indicating we enter his briefing room. Starsky, always a bundle of energy, sauntered inside while I closed the door behind us. Starsky flung himself into the nearest chair and propped both feet, crossed at the ankles, onto Dobey’s desk. I sometimes wonder if he does it deliberately to gauge Dobey’s reaction. The fact that our Captain did not comment made me aware this impromptu meeting was more than reviewing facts and statistics of the last month. Dobey fiddled with a pencil as he began.
“There’s been a development in that case two months ago….the one where a girl’s body was found in the trunk of a Volkswagen beetle. Remember, that girl was later identified as Beth White and prints taken from the vehicle were inconclusive. Friends and relatives were stunned and at a loss as to who may have done such a thing. Beth, was a good girl, last year of college, no steady boyfriend for the previous 9 months and had been talking about her future plans to travel. It seemed like yet another random act of violence.
I glanced at Starsky and noted the set of his jaw. He felt my eyes on him and turned to meet my gaze before flicking his attention back to Dobey. In that brief glance, I knew what he was thinking. Words were not necessary.
“What ‘development’ might that be Cap’n?” he asked quietly.
Dobey straightened in his chair and frowned. He rapped the pencil on the desk. “Yesterday, Beth’s college room mate came to the office. She was upset and Ryan Burke happened to be on duty. He conducted the interview. The girl’s name is Fran Marks and she gave Burke this note.” Dobey leaned across the table and handed the note to me. Starsky removed his feet from the desk, standing in one fluid movement and crossed to peer over my shoulder as I unfolded the paper. He read silently while I did the same.
I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR PRANCING AND GAMES, YOU COCK TEASE.
THAT’S WHAT BETH DID AND SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.
YOU’RE NEXT SLUT.
I refolded the note before handing it back to Dobey. “Fingerprints?”
“None. Whoever wrote this must have been savvy……wore gloves. No saliva on the stamp or envelope either.” The large man sighed and settled his bulk into the chair. He looked tired. “There’s very little to go on at the moment. Burke’s been developing a few scenarios but obviously it’s more than one man can work on. We have Fran’s home under surveillance. I want you two on this case as well. Check with Burke. I want him to remain on this case. Keep me informed of developments. Request whatever you need to track this crack-pot down before he acts on his threat. It’s obviously someone who knew both Beth and Fran but Fran’s at a loss to think who and for Beth it’s too late.” The big man waved his pencil gruffly in the air indicating we should get on the case immediately.
Starsky was silent as we exited Dobey’s office. He crossed to the coffee pot and poured a cup which he handed wordlessly to me. He drew another cup and pondered the dark brew. “We’ve got to get this bastard,” was all he said and I knew he would not rest until the author of that threatening note was behind bars.
“Let’s find Burke.” I said already wanting to get underway and Starsky nodded in agreement.
* * *
We found Burke in the file room. We had not had much to do with each other over the years. I think the only time we’d even been on the same case was about 6 months ago. That had originally seemed a daunting case but every now and then, what looks as though is going to be a long, difficult case develops a crack right down the center and falls apart neatly. We had been comparing notes on a burglary gang for only a couple of days and the big break came much earlier than expected putting an end to our joint ventures before it really got underway. I didn’t have an opinion of him either way. He did a decent enough job; he was well regarded in the office and seemed to work well with whomever he was partnered for a particular case. Burke was a man who worked with different partners for the length of an assignment whereas Starsky and I were a team and had been for 12 years now. We knew where each other went, what each other thought and what each other felt. I counted myself lucky to have my best friend and my lover, as my partner and that would not change. I couldn’t imagine changing partners with each change in cases. Burke looked up expectantly as we approached. He was a compact man about our own age and had a mop of tawny brown hair. He was quick to smile with a straight set of teeth and had a good sense of humor.
“Hey Starsky….Hutch. What’s up? I understand we’ll be working together on the Fran Marks case. What a perve to threaten a young girl like that…not to mention the brutal attack on her room-mate if he did that crime.” He was naturally social and was able to start a conversation about anything with anyone and make them feel comfortable.
“You think he may not have?” I asked.
“Oh, I think it likely he did it but we should consider the possibility that he did not……only knew of the details. After all it was in the papers so he could have gathered enough of the gory details, put two and two together, found out Beth was Fran’s room mate and capitalized on that fact by referring to it in his letter to emphasize a point.” He looked down to straighten the pile of papers he had been taking from a number of open manila folders.
Starsky nodded in assent. “Dobey said you’d already started working on various possibilities. What have you got so far? Bring us up to date and we can all go on from there.” He grabbed a nearby chair, spun it around on one leg and straddled it backward leaning his chin on his folded arms lying atop the back of the chair. I smiled inwardly.
* * *
Two hours later even I had to agree we were making progress and developing a plan of action. Right on schedule Starsky pushed his chair back with a grunt and exclaimed to the world he was hungry. Where did I want to go for lunch he inquired. I murmured something about a vegetarian sandwich shop I’d been reading of opening last week on Prince Street. I met his look of dismay staunchly. He had asked me after all. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t hold him to it but I wondered how he was going to react to this unexpected development.
“Awww, c’mon Hutch. You don’t want rabbit food and neither do I.”
“You asked what I wanted for lunch and I told you.”
“You can’t be serious. You wouldn’t make me eat that stuff…….would you?” He flashed me an appealing grin.
He must have seen the game in my eyes. In one moment he had assessed my determination to have cucumber and lettuce sandwiches as being slim and determined he would gain more by being magnanimous. Oh Starsk, what games we play with each other.
“”Well, Hutch, partner of mine, whatever your little heart desires.” There was the faintest movement of a hip.
Our eyes locked. I swallowed. Call his bluff and eat cucumber sandwiches or concede and call in the concession tonight in bed. It was an easy decision.
“Okay Starsk. I can’t see you starve and nor can I bear listening to you grumble all afternoon. Which taco stand do you want to go to?”
His face broke into a huge grin. He knew what this would cost him later. He was in a win-win situation and I enjoyed his child-like exuberance. “Man, I’ve got a hunkering for ‘Muchos Tacos.’ You ever eaten there Burke?” he tossed over his shoulder.
My stomach churned uncontrollably and I didn’t doubt Starsky chose that particularly questionable taco stand in light of the hidden challenge and exchange he’d read in my eyes. If he was going to pay up tonight he was upping the ante. I sighed in defeat hoping my indigestion wouldn’t impede my ability to collect.
I had forgotten Starsky’s deference to Burke. He intruded on my hidden conversation with my lover. “Fine by me. Sounds good.”
Starsky flashed the victor’s smile and gracefully flung his well worn brown leather jacket over his shoulder. Lunch is on me, guys. He almost sprinted to the door. Well, Starsky, offering to pay for lunch was not going to reduce the debt tonight.
* * *
Lunch had been all I’d expected it to be….and then some. The only surprise was Burke’s hearty endorsement of the establishment and he stated on more than one occasion that we’d have to go there again. Well buddy, if there was a next time you and Starsky would be going there without me.
By mid-afternoon the files were starting to blur. I rubbed my hand across my eyes and wished I’d only had half of the one taco I’d hesitantly ordered for lunch. Burke was consulting Starsky on a file. Their heads were bent over the forms spread over the table. I looked over at them but they were lost in the topic. I pushed away from the table and raised my hands over my head. “What about a break, guys?”
Starsky looked up immediately and was about to answer before Burke broke in. “You look tired, Hutch. Go take a break. Starsky and I have just a few more pages and we’ll join you in the cafeteria.”
Starsky looked up at Burke gauging a response. He looked across at me and nodded. “Yeah, Hutch. Take a break. We’ll finish up here. It won’t be a few minutes.”
“Okay.” I was glad of the break. I stood, stretched, wanting to catch Starsky’s eyes again before I left; needing my fix of the love I knew to be there for me. Burke had him answering a question. He didn’t look up and I left for the cafeteria.
* * *
The cafeteria was not crowded and the sound of late lunch plates being cleared away was not too intrusive. It was half an hour later before Starsky and Burke arrived and I had almost resolved to go back to the file room. Certainly I’d had my break and I wanted to get back to another hour’s work before the end of the day. Starsky entered through the door with Burke close on his heels. Something he’d said had obviously been funny because Starsky answered with a laugh and flung a smile over his shoulder. He paused scanning the break room looking for me and immediately crossed the room dodging Smith carrying a tray and grinning at Minnie who was tossing a Styrofoam cup in a trash can. In a few strides he was at my side and I felt the small annoyance that had been building inside me fade immediately.
“Hey Hutch, want another coffee?”
“Nah. I gotta go back.”
Starsky sat on the chair next to me and purposely bumped his leg against my own. That small gesture translated to ‘sorry to have kept you.’
I smiled as I rose. See you back there. Burke was crossing over carrying two cups of coffee. “Sorry we were late,” he said immediately. “You heading back?”
I nodded.
He smiled and I felt he had been expecting that answer. “Starsky and I have written down a schedule of interviews we should conduct in order of what we feel is priority. It’s on our desk. Have a glance over and let us know what you think when we get back upstairs.”
Why did I feel dismissed? “Sure,” I replied congenially because, quite frankly, I didn’t know what else to say.
At the door I looked back. Starsky smiled at me knowing I would turn back to look at him. Burke immediately captured his attention by tapping his shoulder and indicating the coffee cup steaming at his elbow. I turned and walked out.
* * *
“Man, what a day,” exclaimed Starsky removing his gun holster with a practiced motion. We’d come back to my house and the sun was already setting on the state of California. “Boy, am I glad we don’t have desk duty too often. It’s a killer.” He rubbed a hand at the back of his neck as if to massage away the strain of the day.
I couldn’t agree more but just nodded wordlessly. I crossed silently to the couch and flopped down. Gee, it felt good to be home. It was hard maintaining two homes but it was necessary to avoid difficult questions. We alternated regularly between Starsky’s home and my own which, after two years felt like both our homes. Rarely were we apart although it was not unheard of. Often times we didn’t even consult with each other which abode we would be going to, rather just seeming to turn up on either doorstep. Tonight we were in my house…our home, and I was pleased at the chance to relax. Starsky crossed over to me, equally comfortable here with me and reached down to unsnap my shoulder holster. I’d forgotten I still had it on, it being just an extension of myself after some twelve years. I sighed gratefully as I shrugged out of its straps and wondered why I felt so tired……and just a little bit out of sorts.
Starsky returned from placing my holster next to his. He sat next to me and placed a warm hand on one knee. I didn’t move and he inched a little closer leaning back against the soft cushions so our shoulders were touching. He was looking at me expectantly and I knew he wanted to play. After a minute he commented nonchalantly, “I offered to pay for lunch.” I smiled wanly. Starsky wiggled suggestively and I couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that suffused my body. Still I didn’t respond and Starsky looked a little disconcerted. “I would’ve eaten vegetarian,” he added. He was trying to draw my interest and his hand pressed the inside of my thigh.
A thrill coursed through me and the tiredness was swept away on a flush of desire. I turned to him and leaned to place a kiss on those lips that parted willingly for me. Oh how I loved him and his kiss told me of the depth of his love for me. My right hand rose to his cheek and he turned his face to kiss my palm. A small, fleeting lick of my wrist and I shuddered. I was jello at his touch. Starsky’s hand lowered to my jeans and I stirred with heightening arousal. Who was demanding payment from whom I thought briefly.
I relaxed contentedly against his touch and responded to his kiss. I could feel the tension fade from my partner and I realized he’d been concerned for me. But now he was happy and I felt nothing but joy in him which was a match for my own joy. We were good to and for each other. I could feel Starsky gently tugging at the zipper of my pants; his gentle persistence would not be thwarted. I raised my hips as my pants were lowered and there was no hiding my desire. Starsky grinned and leaned forward to cover me with his body. He had soon removed his own clothes and we rubbed leisurely against each other acknowledging our wants and needs. I could feel the sexual arousal in my body build as I sought release from Starsky’s skilled hands. He gripped me with a practiced hand and rubbed my length with the perfect combination of firmness and rhythm. I let myself succumb to the sensations of pleasure that coursed through me as I climbed ever closer to the edge. My breathing quickened and I could not stop the moan that escaped my throat telling of my pleasure as I hovered on the precipice. Starsky squirmed with pleasure as he understood the control he had over me. At this moment in time I was most vulnerable and he was my captor. With a final gasp I gave myself to him bathing his hand with my love. He continued to stroke me gently as he continued to rub his erection against my thigh. I smiled as I gazed at him with sated eyes. His own glittered back at me full of expectation and arousal. A small giggle escaped me as I used my strength to push him back and over. He wiggled with pleasure and I felt a wave of love rise in my chest. Oh I loved him and I was determined to show him how much. I bent over him and took him in my mouth, licking, sucking and nuzzling until I could feel his need for release build. I raised my head to watch his face, replacing my mouth with my hand. He’d closed his eyes as I ministered to him and with a gasp he gave himself to me. I drew him close and we rested against each other. Words were not necessary at this time. We knew how we felt toward each other and nothing else mattered.
* * *
The morning alarm stirred us from sleep. Starsky stretched and I laid a hand on his chest. I could feel the steady rhythm of his heart….the heart that had stopped almost three years ago…….the heart that now beat for me. My lover stirred and rose from the bed we had eventually made our way to last night, allowing my hand to fall to the mattress. He sat on the edge of the bed gathering his strength before stumbling to the bathroom. Soon the sound of running water signaled the beginning of our morning routine. Another shower later, two breakfasts consumed, two teeth brushings and we were out the door
Starsky was as energetic and bouncy as usual. I felt in an unexpectedly surly mood but I was trying to keep it from my partner who was deigning not to notice….if he noticed at all. Of course he’s noticed I mentally slapped myself. There was very little I could keep from my partner for long. Starsky made no reference to my subdued mood and chose instead to recap yesterday’s work.
We arrived at the office as Burke entered the room and we exchanged greetings. Our day was planned. Burke had suggested I go visit the father of Beth to ask where his daughter usually went to meet friends, how she typically spent her days, whether she had felt in any way uncomfortable over the last few months of her life. He and Starsky would call on Fran for a preliminary interview and attempt to glean information, no matter how trivial, as to her movements and have her describe her typical day and week.
I know I registered surprise at Burke’s suggestion. Didn’t he know that Starsky and I moved together as a pair? After all, we were partners and damn good partners. Everyone knew that. Where had he been? I felt the surliness that had lightened somewhat during the drive in this morning return in full force as Burke tried to manipulate our movements. I didn’t have to answer though as Starsky spoke first.
“Hutch and me will go to Beth’s father. I’m sure he’s still grieving and maybe the two of us together can help him sort out his memories. We can meet you after or you can go ahead and speak to Fran. You’ve already spoken to her once and she may be able to add to what she’s already told you.”
There was a moment of hesitation from Burke before he responded. “That’s a good idea, Starsk……Hey, even better. I’ll go with you both to Beth’s father and then we can all swing round to Fran’s house. I think it would be good for you both to meet her. She was pretty honest with me but obviously fearful. You may be able to settle and assure her in a way I was not able. She would be heartened to see three detectives are working on her case.” He looked at Starsky for approval for his suggestion and the beginnings of a slight, erstwhile unknown, uncomfortable feeling stirred in my gut. What was it? What was wrong with me? I couldn’t pin this feeling down but I did feel slightly disconcerted.
Starsky shrugged and looked at me. “Sounds good to me. Hutch?”
“Sure.” I replied.
“Great.” Burke slapped Starsky on the back with a laugh. I felt uncomfortable but couldn’t put a reason as to why. It was a vague, nebulous feeling and just as fleeting.
* * *
The drive to Beth’s father’s house in Starsky’s tomato of a car was brief. I listened to the friendly banter between Burke and Starsky and gave an opinion when asked.
Starsky’s laugh was light hearted and care free. He laid his arm across the top of the car seat as he would turn his head to make a comment to Burke sitting in the back seat. I could feel the movement of his fingers surreptitiously against my hair and my skin was warm to his touch.
Beth’s father lived in middle suburbia in an unpretentious little cottage. The garden was well maintained and the grass had been newly mowed. The three of us walked up the concrete pathway and rang the doorbell. An elderly man in his late 70’s came to the door. After brief introductions and the showing of our police badges he let us in.
We settled comfortably and declined anything to drink. I took the lead in asking probing questions and Starsky and Burke each took notes in their flip top note-pads. The questions I asked were brief and to the point. They were well-rehearsed. How many times over the years had I asked these very same questions? Sure there were variations on a theme but essentially they were designed to get the most information possible in the briefest of time. I could not allow myself to feel the pain of the man in front of me. His clouded eyes, nearly blind with cataracts welled with tears but I had to press on. No, he did not know of anyone who wanted to harm his daughter. No, she had not been seeing anyone steadily. No, she had always gotten along well at school. No, she had never complained of strange phone calls, notes, people knocking on her door. At the end of a half hour both me and the elderly man who seemed to age before my eyes lapsed into silence each to our own thoughts.
“Thanks, Mr. White, for your time,” said Burke rising from the chair. “We’ll keep you apprised of developments.”
Mr. White showed us to the door. “Please…… not just for Beth, but for all young girls cheated out of life, get these thugs. Put ’em away for good.”
Starsky replied quietly, “We will do our best, I promise you, Mr. White.”
The front door closed behind us and we made our way back to the parked Torino. The ride back to the precinct was quiet in comparison to the drive over. I suppose each of us were lost in our own thoughts. The rest of the afternoon was spent compiling and comparing notes and before I had even realized the passage of time, Starsky was indicating it was time to leave.
“See ya tomorrow, Burke,” called Starsky and I raised my hand in farewell. Burke nodded and he watched us thoughtfully as we exited the door. It would be good to get home.
* * *
“Hey Hutch, why so quiet?”
“Hmmm?” I looked up to see Starsky studying me.
“You’ve been pretty quiet today. What’s up?”
“Oh, I don’t know. This case is getting to me I suppose.” I rubbed my hands across my eyebrows. The pressure felt good.
I was sitting on a kitchen chair and Starsky came and stood beside me placing a hand at the nape of my neck and pulling my forehead into his side. “Come to bed, Hutch,” was all he said and at that instant that was all I wanted to do. By unspoken communication Starsky and I settled for bed. I relaxed with a sigh for the rest deep sleep could give. Starsky snuggled close and I kissed him briefly, chastely on the lips communicating wordlessly my desire to sleep. I could tell Starsky had questions but he did not press me. He gathered me into his arms but I felt trapped and soon rolled away out of his embrace with my back toward him. I fell asleep with different scenarios of what I was going to tell Burke next time going through my head.
* * *
Next morning I was feeling a little more settled and in better spirits. Starsky recognized that fact and he nattered on inanely about all and sundry while we got ready. I roved my eyes over his lithe form and marveled again as I had every morning for the past two years at how much he loved me. I felt humble when I thought of all he was prepared to do for me. The joy he brought me was immeasurable and I had committed my life to making him happy in return.
Our morning routine was so polished that it was not long before we were in Starsky’s car headed once again for the office. Man, it felt like we lived in that place!
My slightly better spirits immediately evaporated the moment we walked into the office. Burke had preceded us by only minutes as he was still in the process of gathering the files from yesterday. He looked up and smiled at me, “Hey, Hutch. Starsky.” His eyes flicked to Starsky and lingered. “Pull up a chair,” he indicated to Starsky. “Anyone want coffee?” We both indicated a cup was in order and as I was still standing I motioned that I would get them. I crossed to the coffee pot which was still brewing. I leaned against the wall and turned to watch Burke and Starsky. He was obviously saying something funny because Starsky looked up and gave a grin before replying. Burke seemed to appreciate his comment with a slap to his back and a hearty laugh.
I passed over the steaming cups and Starsky’s eyes gave me wordless thanks. I nodded at Burke as he acknowledged the cup.
Burke looked over me before stating, “I think we’ve compiled all the info from yesterday’s interview with Beth’s father squared away. How about we catch up with Fran?”
I looked at Starsky before responding, ‘That seems like the next move.”
We headed for the parking lot and Burke suggested we go in his car. Fine with me.
Burke was careful with his vehicle and I didn’t feel the need to be a back-seat driver. Being a passenger with Starsky had it’s moments.
“So,” Burke broke through my thoughts as he addressed Starsky. “Tell me about the girl you’re seeing, lover boy.” He had taken his eyes off the road for a moment to look at my partner.
From where I was sitting in the back seat of Burke’s car I was able to watch the play of emotions on the faces of both men in front of me as they turned to each other. Starsky looked startled but recovered quickly. “Hey, no girl in particular at the moment.” He replied with a smile.
“Is that so,” replied Burke shifting in his seat. “Well, you just don’t get out enough do you. We’ll have to change that. I have a few friends I could set you up with. Just say the word. What about you Hutch….seeing anyone?” He glanced at me via the rear view mirror.
I wanted to put an end to this line of questioning before he got started. “As a matter of fact I am seeing someone.”
Burke was immediately attentive. He grinned wolfishly. “Really? Serious?”
“Very.”
“I’ve found it’s hard to keep the ladies happy what with the amount of time this job saps from you. Serious you say? What’s she like, Starsky?”
Starsky turned to look at me before replying. “Devoted….and very much in love,” he replied.
“Well, isn’t he the lucky one, eh.”
Starsky answered, “I think they’re both pretty lucky. A relationship like theirs doesn’t come along every life-time.”
“Well Starsky, why should we be missing out? I’m sure there’s love out there for us also. How about you and I go exploring next Saturday? Ever been to Mumbo’s? It’s always hopping and always good for a pick-up.” He glanced at Starsky before returning to concentrate on the road.
I broke in with a reply even though the offer had pointedly not been extended to me. “I’ve been to Mumbo’s a couple of times but always on duty. It’s a fair establishment. Only the occasional call for disorderly conduct. The proprietor runs a decent set up. You’re right about the pick-up. It also seems to be gaining in popularity in the gay community…..a place to see and be seen.”
“Really?” Burke’s voice was non-committal; nor did it lack surprise. He knew, I thought. And then it hit me and I saw clearly the reason for my unrest the last few days. The nagging, unidentifiable feeling eating in my chest now had a name and that name was jealousy. In the space of that one word I could clearly see Burke’s agenda. Take Starsky to Mumbo’s, get to know him better, feel out his opinion to the gay life-style and if no obvious reaction to the negative, slowly approach him with a suggestion they continue to see each other on a much more personal and intimate level. Why couldn’t Starsky see that? It was all so obvious. Burke was not obviously flaunting a gay life-style but all the pieces were falling into place.
I wished I could see Starsky’s face but he continued to look straight at the road ahead.
“What do you say, Stark? You and me. Mumbo’s. Maybe we can both get lucky.”
“Sure.” But he sounded hesitant. “But let me get back to you about this Saturday. Okay?” He turned in his seat to look at me. “Why don’t you come along too, Hutch?”
Burke spoke up, “Hey, he’s got other more important things to do with his little lovely. Or should I say, to his little lovely. Wink, wink.”
Starsky looked at me with pleading eyes. We rarely went out and it would be a chance to spend an evening on the town but I’d be damned if I would tag along and watch another man hustle in.
“Nah, Burke’s right. I’d much rather make love with my love.” I looked pointedly into Starsky’s eyes knowing Burke could not see my expression. A sense of satisfaction spread through me as I noticed Starsky’s face flush and a shy look claimed his eyes.
“I should be so lucky,” he replied softly.
“You will be, you will be,” replied Burke. Damn him. Why did he make that sound like a promise?
* * *
Fran White was a tall, slender girl. Not really pretty but obviously intelligent and she had a naturally calm demeanor which would immediately welcome anyone introduced to her. Her calmness was stretched thin though as the three of us sat in her living room.
Once again I seemed to have been designated the interviewer and so I began my questioning in a non-threatening manner. I leaned forward and tried to keep her focused. I asked her to explain how she’d come into possession of the note. Her voice was even as she recounted the evening she come home from visiting a friend to find the note which had been pushed under the door. I did not interrupt with the obvious observation that the author of the note knew, then, where she lived. I knew both Starsky and Burke would be making notes of that in their note books and to break into her train of thought would only impede her. The type-written note gave no other clues and she could not speculate as to whom the author could possibly be.
My line of questioning took her to tell me about her male friend she had been visiting that night and she was certain it was not him. She might be certain but we were not, I noted absently as Starsky and Burke recorded details as to her male friend’s address and phone number along with details of how long they had been seeing each other, where they’d met, mutual acquaintances and night spots they frequented.
In a steady, small voice Fran recounted the last three dates they had enjoyed together. “Last Friday we went to Mumbo’s. We’d never gone there before but friends spoke well of it. I had a good time. Most people do although it can be a little risqué.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked gently.
“Well it’s a place anyone can go and have a good time. Anyone. I noticed there were a few guys making out with each other in the shadows along with girls with a leaning to other girls. Now, that’s not my scene at all but this is the first place I’ve ever gone where that sort of thing was somewhat tolerated. At least there was no harassment and I suppose as long as they keep to themselves, it’s okay with me.”
It was rare to find this level of tolerance in a straight girl and I appreciated her open mindedness. Unfortunately this was not often the case and venues like Mumbo’s could disintegrate into a brawl in a matter of minutes with the wrong mix of people. So far, Mumbo’s had managed to avoid the violence prejudice could bring. It was only a matter of time I thought.
“Did anything happen at Mumbo’s?” I pressed. “Did anyone ask you to dance? Did you meet anyone there?”
“I arrived about 8pm. Bob, my friend, was to meet me there at that time but he was going to be late. He tried to call me before I left home but he did not know I was leaving home a little early as I had to go to the drug store first. I arrived at 8pm and he got a message through to me which I got when I arrived saying he was going to be over an hour late.”
“What did you do then?” I pressed gently.
“Well, I was sitting at the bar and a guy did come up and sit next to me. We started talking.”
“What was his name?”
“I really can’t remember, “”Brant…Brandon…something like that.”
“Then what?”
“He bought me a drink. The music was loud and to hear him talk I had to lean pretty close to him. He wanted to dance and I agreed. Otherwise I was just going to sit there half the night for Bob.”
Starsky and Burke were taking notes but neither interrupted. They both knew the routine. Any questions they might have could be saved till the end. To break in to her train of thought at this time could be detrimental.
“Tell me about the dance,” I asked.
Her face flushed. “Well, he was very nice and I enjoyed the dance….at first….but it wasn’t long before he began pressing up against me. I tried to indicate I didn’t like that but he was so persistent. I was only trying to pass the time before Bob arrived but this guy was really pushing me and by the end of the second dance I’d had enough. I thanked him and was going to return to me seat but he grabbed my arm and pushed himself up against me. I mean there was nothing to the imagination….if you know what I mean.” She blushed furiously but I admired her ability to stay focused. She seemed to recognize this was important and although this guy may not be the one we wanted, it was quickly developing into a possibility.
“Then what,” I prompted.
“Well, I tried to thank him and tell him I wanted to sit the next dance out. I reminded him my friend would be arriving soon. At that he got really angry and called me a ….a…. well, a cock-tease.” I felt Starsky and Burke raise their eyes in unison from their notes. The wording was correct and fit into the note that had been delivered. The tie-in was becoming stronger. She continued, “well, I didn’t know if I should apologize or not. I mean, I didn’t want to lead him on. That was never my intention. I said I was sorry but that seemed to make him even more angry. I turned to leave the dance floor but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. I would have fallen if he had not held me so tightly. He pushed himself up against me. I could tell he was very excited because he kept rubbing against me and all I could think of was how can I get away from this guy. I gave him a shove and the look he gave me was horrible. That was when I started feeling a little worried. He leant in to me and told me that if I pushed him away again I would regret it. I told him I regretted even dancing with him in the first place and he shoved me away from him. I fell to the ground and some of the other dancers helped me up. Brandon….I think his name was Brandon, turned away and walked off the floor. A bouncer came over at the commotion and asked if I was all right. I said everything was fine and asked him to forget it. He said if that guy troubled me again I should call for him to get rid of him. Well, I didn’t have to because I looked for him just so I would know where he was and to keep my distance but I think he must have left because I never saw him again. Bob arrived shortly after and I told him what happened. He was so sweet. He is such a nice guy….” Fran’s eyes took on that dreamy look of someone in love and I smiled, acknowledging to myself I had seen that same look in Starsky on many occasion. I didn’t dare look at him so I don’t know if he noticed and was looking at me.
I took a steadying breath. “Thank you, Miss White. Have you seen this guy since?”
“No. But then I have not been back to Mumbo’s since.”
“Do you know if Beth ever went to Mumbo’s?”
“Sure. She’d been a couple of times before and was constantly telling me what a happening place it was and that I should go. I was supposed to go with her the last time she went but at the last minute Bob had to go to his parents place as his Mom wasn’t well and he asked me to go too.” Her next sentence carried the weight of guilt with it. “I can’t help think that if I had gone with Beth to Mumbo’s I would have somehow been able to prevent the tragedy from occurring. If only….” Her voice faded to nothing and she sighed.
At this point I stood, knowing that for this first interview we had enough information to plan a course of action. She rose from her chair also and I noted Starsky and Burke did the same. I turned to her and put my hand on her arm. “Thank you, Miss White. This has been most helpful. You will keep you apprised of developments. In the meantime, I want you to limit your movements, have friends and family members with you at all times. Police protection has been assigned to you. They will be monitoring your home 24/7. If you have any concerns or if you remember anything else you wish to tell me, here is the phone number to my desk at the office. In an emergency if I am not in, have the dispatcher contact me. I assure you we will do everything we can to keep you and anyone else in your situation safe. I am only sorry your friend Beth was not so lucky.”
Her eyes welled with tears and she bit her lip as she nodded her understanding. She showed us to the front door and we descended the steps in silence.
* * *
Back at the office Burke, Starsky and I compared notes and discussed the interview with Fran. It was obvious we had to go to Mumbo’s but it would mean Fran would have to be there as a lure. We had no idea what this Brandon guy looked like. Fran had not been able to give a very detailed description and if she could point him out we could place a trail on him, learn his full name and run a police check. This could well turn out to be a false lead but so far it was all we had.
Burke busily was planning a schedule. “It may be a while before this guy shows up. He may not be a regular in which case we’ll have to keep Mumbo’s under surveillance until he shows. He looked at Starsky. “I guess you’ll be going to Mumbo’s this Saturday after all. Nothing like mixing business with pleasure I always say.” He turned to me. “You have a date this Saturday, you were saying. No sense in all of us having to be on duty. If you like, Starsky and I can go on Saturday and we’ll fill you in if anything happens. I doubt he’ll show. We couldn’t be so lucky that he’d show the first night we’re there.”
“Well, I have to say I have the best relationship possible,” I assured him a little too quickly. “There are never any arguments if I have to unexpectedly work. I’ll just say we have to reschedule, and anyway I love to make it up when I’ve caused disappointment…..if you know what I mean.”
Burke smiled wolfishly. “You don’t say. You are the lucky one! Don’t introduce me to her Hutch or I just may try to charm her away.”
“No such luck,” Starsky replied with a smile. “Their commitment seems to be the real thing this time.” He gave me a pat on the stomach. “Come on lover, before you can’t think of anything else. We have to develop a plan.”
And so the plan was formed. We’d originally discussed going for the first time Saturday night but we soon agreed it might be best to go on Friday night. It had been a Friday when Fran had met our suspect so it may be that he would turn up again on a Friday night. A call had been placed with Fran and she was willing to go. All she had to do was point out this guy who had troubled her if she saw him. I prayed he would be there. I wanted this lead to either pan out or dry up either way. I did not fancy spending each Friday and Saturday night for the next 3 months at Mumbo’s. The prospect certainly didn’t seem to disappoint Burke however. He was only too keen to share with Starsky how great the music was and how large the dance floor and how varied the clientele was. Someone for anyone I think was how he’d summed it up best as.
I was seething on the drive home to my house and my foul mood did not let up even as I strode forcefully through the front door. Starsky had been uncharacteristically quiet but as soon as he locked the door behind us that changed.
“Do you mind telling me what’s going on?” he demanded. He leveled a calculating stare at me.
I shot him a foul look. “Nothing.” I strode to the bathroom door and slammed it shut behind me. What was wrong with me I asked but I knew the answers without thinking. I was angry. I was angry at myself for feeling jealous. Jealousy! I had no reason to doubt Starsky. He loved me. I knew that. Knew it from the depths of my soul. I was angry at Starsky but he had done nothing wrong. He had not enticed Burke at all. He had eyes only for me. Why was I angry at him? Talk about displaced anger! I was angry at how much control he had over me…how much my happiness was dependant on him.
But most of all I was angry at Burke. How dare he! A flash of white hot rage burned inside. Did he know about Starsky and me? I was sure not. I couldn’t very well go up into his face and demand he back off. To do so would compromise our relationship. The world’s prejudice was not ready to accept the feelings Starsky and I shared. I could voice my feelings with Starsk but he would be shocked and would be hurt at my seeming distrust of him. I had long known of my need to have Starsky prove his love over and over for me. It stemmed from a deep-seated insecurity. To confront him with my jealousy would only show again how insecure I felt. Insecure? Of course it was insecurity. How could Starsky love me? So many of my relationships had failed and if this were to fail, the most important of my life, I would not be able to recover. I would loose my lover, my best friend, my partner and I could not rebuild from the loss of that. Damn, it was Starsky’s fault! Why didn’t he just tell Burke to go to Hell? I felt sure Starsky was oblivious to Burke’s hidden agenda. It was wrong for me to take out my anger on him but I hated to be so dependent on him for my own sense of person. If I told him of my jealousy he would feel smothered, owned, trapped. Surely he would want to place distance between us just for a breath of fresh air. Surely he would then feel angry and resentful toward me and I couldn’t bear that.
I splashed my face with cold water, brushed my teeth and prepared for bed.
Starsky was watching me suspiciously when I emerged from the bathroom but said nothing. He passed me silently in the doorway as I pushed past him to sit sullenly on the edge of the bed before lying against the pillows and pulling the blanket over me. I rolled on my side with my back toward Starsky’s side of the bed. Maybe he’d think I had gone to sleep.
Not the case. Starsky was soon lying next to me. He reached over and turned out the light. The darkness of the room enfolded us and I felt Starsky move closer; felt his heat along the length of my back as he snuggled against me. He placed an arm protectively around my chest and pulled me close. “I love you Hutch,” he whispered intimately.
No answer.
“What’s troubling you, babe?” He propped up on one arm and placed his chin over my shoulder. He breathed warmth into my ear.
I gave no answer and shrugged displacing his chin and moved my head further into the pillow.
“Hutch?” I felt the hesitation in his voice.
“Nothing’s wrong. Go to sleep.” I heard the edge in the demand. It’s not his fault I reminded myself and the guilt made me feel worse. It would be better in the morning, I just needed to sleep. That was all. I felt Starsky’s hand move lower on my belly.
“Cut it out Starsk.”
His hand hesitated before proceeding lower. He just wanted to love me. The strain between us of the last few days, which he did not understand, was creating in him a need for physical closeness. I grabbed his hand by the wrist and threw it back to him. “What’s wrong with you Starsk?” I demanded in a cold, angry voice. “Anyone would think all that matters to you is sex. You can always jerk off.”
I felt him stiffen. The harshness of my words had obviously stung him and my mood and shame at hurting the man I loved hardened my heart. My self-doubt was going to drive this man away from me and the pain I felt could only be shored up by anger to protect my soul. Not if, but when Starsky left me, (everyone else had), I would struggle to get my life back together. I doubted that was even possible. I had to protect myself while I still could.
Starsky slowly moved away from me. The gap between our bodies was a chasm. He got up silently from our bed and I guessed he was going to the couch. Over the two years together there had been only a couple of spats where either one of us has gone to the couch only to be visited in the middle of the night by a forgiving and apologetic lover. I could feel his eyes on me even in the darkness. The silence was deafening as he dressed in the clothes he’d folded next to the bed. Why was he getting dressed to go to the couch I wondered? His voice was ragged when he eventually spoke. “I don’t know what’s going on, Hutch. I don’t know what to do to make you feel good.” He seemed to be talking into the darkness that surrounded us as I remained stubbornly silent. As he turned to walk out of the bedroom he paused to say, “All that matters to me is our relationship and the love we share…..at least the love I have for you. I’m going to my place. See you in the morning at the office.” There was a moment’s hesitation as he waited for a reply he already knew would not be forthcoming.
And with that he was gone. What? The couch?…..no….his place! This wasn’t right! Wha……? By the time I got my fuddled brain in gear and jumped up out of the bed I heard the squeal of tires pull away from the curb of Venice Place.
I returned to the cold bed and resigned myself to a fretful night of my own making.
* * *
Friday morning dawned bright and cheery but I did not match the day. The night had been long and restless. So many times I had reached for the telephone only to stop myself. Starsky would be asleep….or was he. Somehow I doubted it and I had already caused him anguish without another phone call which may make a bad situation worse. How much worse could it get though, I reasoned. My partner had walked out…..no I had driven my partner out of my bed last night and my world seemed grey without him.
At 4am I had risen finally realizing there would be no more sleep for me this night. I tried reading but after the third page I couldn’t recall what I had read. I turned on the television for a bit of back-ground noise but turned it off 5 minutes later when I realized there was nothing on tv. I picked up my guitar and strummed a few songs. Damn. I always seem to sing melancholy songs of loss at times like these. 5am came and went. By 5.30 I was showered and dressed and by 6.30 I was out the door. I would get to the office early for once. I would have to make sure Dobey saw me. Wonder what time he got in. Just my luck it would be a day he had morning meetings and he wouldn’t see this dedicated detective reporting for duty an hour before he had to. I wondered what time Starsky would arrive. Heck it was going to be a long day and then we had to go to Mumbo’s in the evening.
I pulled into the parking garage and noted the red tomato was not there yet. I was not surprised. Why should it be there I thought to myself. Just because I had not been able to sleep didn’t mean Starsky would not get some shut-eye. Deep down I knew that wasn’t true.
I walked in to the office and noted the night shift preparing paper work for their change of shift. 15 minutes later Dobey strode in parting the waters as he walked. He glanced in my direction, opened his mouth about to say something then nodded and walked into his office. I grinned despite myself and felt my mood lighten. Starsky would be here soon and all would be right. I would make it so.
I heard the doors swing open and turned to see Starsky enter. I noticed immediately his stride was not quite as light as it normally was and he hesitated fractionally before crossing to me. I made sure I would speak first and set the tone determined to make things better between us. I had caused this and I was going to fix it. How childish I had been. “Hi ya, Starsk. Decided to drag your sorry ass in here?” I looked straight at him and smiled.
Starsky’s eyes had been veiled, guarded, revealing nothing, waiting to gauge my response. With my greeting, he smiled and a thrill coursed through my body. Awwww Starsk. You’re always willing to forgive me no matter how much of a bastard I have been.
When he had reached my side I whispered low for only him to hear, “I’m so sorry, Starsk. That was uncalled for. I didn’t mean it as it sounded and I’m sorry you left last night.”
“Heck Hutch, we all need private time and I suppose I just didn’t leave you alone. I should give you more space.” His words sounded wistful.
“I never want you to leave me alone.” He understood the meaning behind my words and nodded in agreement. With those few short sentences all was right between us and we were once again in complete alignment.
Starsky swung casually onto the table and placed his feet on his chair. “How about you getting me some coffee, partner.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. I wanted to touch him, stroke my hands over his body, please him, let my actions show him how much he was loved and how sorry I was. What I did was walk to the coffee machine.
I looked back over my shoulder about to call out something to Starsky and nearly careened into Burke as he strode energetically through the doors. “Hey guys,” he said. “I noticed both your cars in the garage. Sorry I’m late.”
I couldn’t believe the chill that had taken a grip of my heart. “You’re not late,” I assured him. “We only just arrived ourselves.”
“Make mine black, no sugar, hey Hutch,” continued Burke as he crossed to Starsky and swung himself up to sit next to him. Honestly, can’t they see that chairs are for sitting and tables are for writing? I was pouring coffee and looked up to see Burke with his hand on Starsky’s shoulder where my own hand had been only moments before. I watched him give a squeeze and I felt jealous anger rise in my throat as I had never felt before. The strength of my feelings shocked and alarmed me. Get your hands off him my blood boiled. I fought the primal urge to thrust my body between them and turn on my challenger with ferociousness.
I crossed over with the coffees and thought briefly of tipping Burke’s over his head. “Nothing like coffee to wake you up,” I said.
“Been a naughty boy last night, Hutch?” asked Burke with twinkling eyes.
“I was up most of the night,” I replied.
Burke smiled wolfishly and I hated the knowing nudge he gave Starsky. “I’m sure he was, eh Starsk. Your girl snuggles up behind you, whispers in your ear, begins to rub your chest and you can’t resist.”
My mouth gaped in astonishment and I didn’t need ESP to know Starsky was as shocked as me at how close he was to the truth without even realizing it.
“Look, he can’t even deny it, Starsk,” he continued and I realized I had to close my mouth before it hit the floor.
Starsky came to my rescue and got me back on track. “Even the blond blintz needs to recuperate. His lover can wear him out.”
“C’mon Hutch. What’s she like?” Bourke pleaded to be filled in with saucy details and I fleetingly wondered what his response would be if I placed my arms possessively around Starsky and drew him to me belonging and ownership demonstrated in one action.
I forced a grin. “Actually it wasn’t possible to spend the night together last night and get your mind out of the gutter. I was up all night not in that sense. I was up all night worried because we are seldom alone. It just didn’t feel right, being alone.”
Burke winked knowingly. “Oh boy, he’s got it bad, Starsk. I think the girls can scratch his name out of their little black book.”
* * *
The three of us left the office at the same time. I walked quickly and my long legs made short work of the corridors. Starsky and Burke walked behind me and we soon made our way to the parking deck.
“See ya later Hutch, Starsky.”
I turned to Burke and raised my hand. “See you at Mumbo’s” I called back. I was lost in my own thoughts and was startled when I heard Starsky call my name.
“Hutch….Hutch….”
“Heh?”
“I asked if you are getting ready at my house or ……or should I follow you to your house.”
“Whatever you want,” I replied absently thinking over Burke’s veiled comments throughout the day.
There was the slightest hesitation from Starsky before he replied with an edginess in his voice. “Do you want me over or do you need more time alone?”
“Heh? What are you talking about?” I demanded testily but I couldn’t say more at that point as Burke drove past, beeping the horn once and waving but he was looking at Starsky as he drove past. I gritted my teeth. “Well, at least some-one will enjoy the evening.”
“Heck Hutch. It could be worse. It could be an all night stake-out sitting in the cars. At least this assignment will be at a night club and although we are on duty, we’ll be able to mix a little pleasure with business.”
“Sure,” I answered distractedly and I sounded exasperated even to my own ears. “Come on. We need to get ready. Meet you at my house.”
“Just don’t break down in that jalopy of yours,” retorted Starsky as he veered off toward his eye-sore of a car.
* * *
Starsky’s car was already cooling by the time I arrived. That fact surprised neither him nor me. I turned off the engine and run up the stairs two at a time and entered to hear Starsky already in the shower. The sound of his singing battered my ears and I smiled despite myself. I crossed to the bathroom and opened the shower door.
Starsky grinned, “Wanna wash me down?” He stretched as he ran soapy hands over his chest and belly stopping to grasp his cock.
“Later. I got to get ready myself.” I could help but smile.
He splashed water my way and I closed the door shutting out all but Gary Glitter’s words ‘Do you Wanna Touch?’ sung to the shower walls.
The water was soon turned off and Starsky and I exchanged places as he dried off and I stepped into the shower.
We had arranged to meet Burke at 8 pm at Mumbo’s and there was still a bit of time before we had to leave. Starsky was already dressed when I got out of the shower and started searching through my drawers for clean briefs and socks.
Starsky threw a white shirt on the bed and as I followed it land with my eyes I noticed he’d already selected a pair of my tan pants. “C’mon Hutch, get ready.”
“What’s the rush?”
“Well, I thought, seeing as we have some time before we have to leave, that perhaps…..we should talk.” He looked searchingly at me for my response.
“About what?” I hedged.
“Hutch. You’ve been a bear all week. You’ve been irritable and distant. Is there something I should know?” He crossed his arms.
“Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I could feel the irritability welling. “If you’re referring to last night, I said I was sorry. How many times do you want me to apologize?” I worked to keep the irritation under control. “Now forget it and get ready.”
“I am ready.” He looked like he wanted to say more but stopped himself before the first word.
I quickly tucked my shirt in and selected a pair of comfortable slip-ons. “What do you think? Do I pass inspection?”
“Always,” replied Starsky who was leaning against the door jamb his arms still crossed.
I smiled and kissed him briefly as I passed him through the door. “If we leave now, we can grab a bite through the drive-through before we get to Mumbo’s,” I said.
“Well, I don’t know about you but I’m rather looking forward to tonight. After all, when do we go to places like Mumbo’s?”
“True. It’s not really a place we can go. I’m not interested in picking up girls and we can’t really go and be ourselves.”
“True,” replied Starsky wistfully.
* * *
It was 8pm on the nose when Starsky and I walked through the front door of Mumbos. I was struck at how intimate it was for a night spot. Sure the dance floor was generous in size and reasonably well lit. A disco ball circled above sending lights playing across the writhing bodies already enjoying the music played at the D.J’s discretion. Off the dance floor however, Mumbo’s was carefully planned and decorated to offer secluded booths and tucked away alcoves designed to encourage intimate whispers and stolen kisses. Shadows played around the couples already pairing off and I wondered briefly how many relationships would be created tonight and how many hearts would be broken. I glanced at Starsky and catching his eye I nodded my head toward a booth toward the back from where we would have a good view of the bar. Starsky followed my lead and soon we were sitting comfortably in a well padded booth.
“Hey this is pretty neat,” Starsky said appreciatively. “Do you see Burke?”
“He’ll get here soon enough,” I snapped more harshly than I intended. “He knows the plan,” I continued trying to soften the previous sentence.
Starsky drummed his hands on the table for a couple of beats as he scanned the crowd. “Hey, there he is.” Starsky rose and waved drawing Burke’s attention and waving him over. Did he have to be so enthusiastic I thought sullenly.
Burke joined us quickly. He was wearing a fashionable light blue shirt with the first 4 buttons open and darker blue pants. He looked comfortable and at ease and flashed a wide smile. “Been here long?” He slipped into the booth sitting particularly close to Starsky knocking his shoulder with his own before looking at me. “Looking good, Hutch. Maybe your girl should have joined us here.”
“Nah, we prefer intimate evenings at home. This isn’t our scene.” I replied.
“What do you think, Starsky? You like?”
“I like,” he replied.
Putting at end to Burke’s monopolizing of Starsky’s attention, I directed our discussion to why we were here. Immediately Burke was professional and focused, I had to give him that. “Does anyone see Fran?”
Burke glanced around. It’s hard to see in the dark but she wasn’t due to arrive until around 9pm. We got here early to stake out the exits and locate the bathrooms, phones, fire extinguishers and such so I think we should do just that. Hutch, how about you check out those areas? Starsky, you go to the right and I’ll take the left. Circle about and we should all meet up on the opposite side of the dance floor.
We nodded our agreement and set off. I immediately mapped out the venue and noted where all the fire exits were. In a disturbance there could well be a rush for the doors and in confusion errors could arise with disastrous results. I was making my way back to the pre-arranged meeting place when I saw Starsky and Burke already greeting each other. The noise of the music had noticeably increased since we had arrived and the Friday night crowd was now in full swing. Burke obviously had something to say as he leaned in to Starsky and spoke into his ear. Starsky nodded and Burke placed his hand under Starsky’s elbow and guided him onto the dance floor. My eyes were captivated and I watched with an ache developing in my heart as Burke started to dance with Starsky. And dance they did. Starsky loved to dance and heaven knew we didn’t have much opportunity to do so. I thought briefly how it was that Starsky and I would not dream of dancing together without a couple of girls to deflect speculation and yet here was Burke without a seeming care in the world dancing with another man for the world to see. No one was shocked, no one cared….but then no one knew them. What if I were dancing up there and someone we knew happened to see us. Starsky and I had to be careful because the speculation would be the truth. And therein lay the difference I thought. Burke could dance without a care in the world because the speculation was false. He had nothing to hide. This line of thinking was making my head hurt. ‘Why do you always make everything so difficult Hutchinson,’ I thought to myself. The unfairness of it all ….the unfairness of society not allowing me to dance with the man I loved before all else, stabbed at my heart. But the pain of that took second place to the pain of watching my love dance with another man. Starsky was really enjoying himself and I could not take my eyes from him. His hips moved to the beat of the music in perfect rhythm with Burke. Man, he was beautiful and he was mine. How could I be so lucky? They were not the only guys dancing together on the floor but I had eyes only for Starsky…..and he was dancing with Burke.
The music’s steady beat was hypnotic and Burke reached out to place a hand on Starsky’s gyrating hip. He moved a little closer and this was the last straw. All the confusion, anger and resentment that had been building within me for the past week which I had been fighting to keep in check, welled over and I was angry at the world. Angry at the loathsome bastard that had murdered an innocent girl and threatened another; angry at Burke for being attracted to the man I loved; angry at Starsky for being too damned sexy on the dance floor and angry at myself for not being able to contain my jealousy any more. I had battled all week and now I had succumbed. This unreasonable jealousy was affecting me, and my behavior was affecting my relationship with Starsky. I had been short with him all week and it wasn’t his fault. I had hoped to get a grip and keep these base thoughts to myself but that was just no longer possible. I had to come clean and tell Starsky just what I thought. He would be shocked. He would be hurt. He may even be angry at me for being too possessive but I had to explain to him this hell I was in. He would be able to save me from myself. I wanted nothing more than to feel his touch. To feel his sweet kisses. To have him dance with me in the privacy of our own home. Damn Burke to Hell.
As I made my way over, the number of people on the dance floor had increased and Starsky and Burke were now dancing so much closer together. Burke was bumping up against Starsky who was flushed and obviously enjoying the movement. A matching sheen of perspiration reflected their enthusiasm. I felt like an intruder, a voyeur to their activities which excluded me. A vice like grip ensnared my heart as for the first time I felt I was actually not the center of Starsky’s world at this particular moment. This was a cold, alien place I found myself in.
As I reached the edge of the dance floor, Starsky looked up and saw me. A huge smile was directed my way and he immediately made his way to my side. Burke looked disappointed but followed immediately.
Starsky was panting and keen. “Hey Hutch, wanna dance?”
“Are you out of your mind,” I hissed.
Starsky’s face fell, his disappointment cutting right to my soul and I couldn’t help but add salt to the wound. “If you can tear yourself away from Burke for a moment, maybe you can help me locate Fran. She should be here by now.”
“Sure, Hutch. I was just mingling with the crowd.”
“Well, stop your mingling and start working.” Damn, every time we came to a night spot there was trouble. Distasteful memories of Kira from 3 years ago came unbidden to my mind. That had been jealousy driven too and see the trouble it had caused. Of course at the time Starsky and I had not realized that deep down the jealousy was not really about Kira at all but the jealousy of another person coming between us. Actually, come to think of it, there was no difference really…..Kira,…. Burke,…..It was all about jealousy and how another person could affect our behavior with each other. But there was a difference though. With Kira, Starsky and I had not yet verbalized or realized what we truly meant to each other. Perhaps all we were aware of was that Kira was a threat to both of us and the promise of a future to come. On an instinctual level we were fighting over a woman whom neither of us really wanted but if a relationship had developed between Kira and one of us, then our own relationship would have changed just as Gillian or Terry, had they lived, would have changed our relationship. Why we were jealous of Kira and not Gillian or Terry was because two more years had passed between Gillian and Terry, and Kira. Two years of time and two years worth of experiences, laying our lives down for each other. Two years of being closer than brothers. In those intervening two years the love Starsky and I already had for each other had began slowly to deepen and change in character although neither of us would have been able to explain it. The last layer of ‘Me and Thee’ had been lying dormant in our souls and had first begun stirring, unrecognized, after Gillian and Terry’s death. I knew that by keeping Kira away from Starsky I would still have him and nothing would challenge me for the attentions of the most significant person in my life. Heaven knows I didn’t want Kira for myself. Starsky and I had talked frankly about that particularly low point in our lives and we’d both given thanks that we had responded intuitively. Just a few weeks later Starsky would be shot and fighting for his life and we would start that last stretch of path that would eventually lead us together. We had been walking that path since w had first met but Kira and Gunther ensured we would walk that path now as one.
Burke appeared at my shoulder. “That partner of yours sure can dance,” he commented appreciatively.
I looked disdainfully at him and for once I did not try to keep my emotions from being displayed on my face. “We need to watch out for Fran,” I replied. I moved off away from the two most annoying people alive….one of whom I loved more than life itself.
I looked back over my shoulder so see Burke and Starsky split. I panned over the dance floor and moved off into the shadows. I continued my slow walk through out the club until I noticed Starsky wending his way to me.
“What?” My question was short and to the point.
“Fran’s here.” He indicated with his eyes and I followed his direction. I saw her sitting at the bar. Burke was with her in the role of chatting her up. They had begun the plan we had devised earlier. One of us was to dance with Fran while she surreptitiously scanned the crowd checking for the face she was looking for. It looked like it was going to be Burke dancing with her. That meant Starsky and I were to mingle in the crowd checking for people who may be taking an undue interest in her. After all, there was the possibility that it was not the guy she had been dancing with last week but someone else who had been watching her and her actions. It might not even be anyone associated with Mumbo’s at all in which case all of this was just a waste of time and a source of aggravation for me.
We both watched as Burke and Fran moved to the dance floor. I felt Starsky’s hand close round mine and give a squeeze as he casually moved his body suggestively against my own. I jerked my hand away and stepped aside before turning on him. “What are you doing?” I hissed. “What if someone recognizes us? Stop compromising what we have. It’s too big a gamble to give in for just a moment.”
Starsky nodded but did not speak. He looked summarily at me before turning silently and began walking around the floor. I headed in the other direction. Nothing alerted my suspicions. Everyone was lost in their own world. People were flirting, arguing, making out. Relationships were being built and broken as they had been since time immemorial. Each scenario was its own soap opera. Even Starsky and I were participants in our own private soap opera. I could feel tension between us and obviously Starsky felt it too. I knew that was the reason he was compelled to touch me on a more intimate level in such a public place. How I wished this case would have a quick conclusion. Regardless of what happened here, I had resolved that I would talk to Starsky tonight. I would lay my petty emotions bare. I didn’t doubt Starsky would forgive me….he loved me. My only hesitation came from not wanting him to see a more base side of my character.
Burke and Fran had moved back to the bar and he bought her a drink before leaving her side. He made his way over to report in. “Fran doesn’t recognize anyone here,” he stated bluntly.
Great I thought. That meant we would have to return tomorrow night. That’s the last thing I wanted.
Burke continued. “She is going to stay at the bar and if she sees our suspect she’ll alert us. We’ve got to stay close. The best way to keep her under surveillance without drawing attention is from the dance floor. C’mon Starsky, let’s shake those hips.”
Starsky glanced fleetingly at me and there was a set to his jaw. “Sure, Burke. I don’t see any reason why not.” He looked directly at me with his last sentence and I didn’t need a book of translation to understand the message being sent my way.
I could tell he was disappointed in me and that flash in his eyes spoke volumes. I would hear about it tonight I was sure. He turned to follow Burke onto the floor. Damn Starsky. He had obviously had enough with this estrangement between us and there had been a subtle change in his mood. He deliberately positioned himself on the floor for my benefit. I watched every twist, every move, every suggestive sway of his sexy body and was drawn like a moth to a flame. Starsky knew I would be and although he was dancing with Burke, we both knew he was dancing for me.
They had not been dancing long…. a minute or two maybe when all three of us noticed a man sidle up to Fran. He asked her a question but she shook her head no and he moved off. She looked over at me and shook her head in a negative. Burke returned to me leaving Starsky for just a moment. “Just some guy coming on to her I suppose?” It was a statement but spoken with the suggestion of a question. He sought my opinion.
“Looks like it,” I answered.
Burke returned to Starsky’s side who refused to look at me. Not a minute later I saw Fran’s shoulders stiffen. Starsky and Burke saw it too as they immediately crossed to join me. All three of us were on heightened alert as we waited for Fran’s cue. She turned, pretending to scan the crowd but in reality she was wanting to alert us. Starsky and I stood together while Burke moved a little closer to Fran. We followed her stare to a man she obviously recognized. He had stopped in the doorway but, noticing Fran, he immediately made his way over and sat next to her. There was a vacant chair to his right and Starsky and I, in silent communication, agreed I would take that seat. I casually walked over and sat down ordering a beer from the bar tender as I did. I strained to listen to their conversation as I pretended to be only interested in my beer.
“So, you’ve changed your mind and come back,” the man was saying. “Did you miss me?” He reached out to take her hand in his paw.
Fran jerked her hand away. “Please leave me alone. I am waiting for someone.”
“Who?” he demanded and he grabbed her elbow.
“That’s none of your business and please let go of me.”
“I really don’t know what I saw in you. You really are a cock-tease and I think you need to pay up what you offer.”
To give Fran credit, she sure kept her cool. I wondered if she’d be so cool without the knowledge she had three undercover detectives covering her every move. “Leave me alone. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I really just want you to leave me alone.”
“Sure thing, honey bunch,” he replied and got up to leave. He leant menacingly over her. “Better watch out love. Some people take what you don’t give.” He blew her a kiss before moving away to the edge of the dance floor.
Maybe this was not our guy after all. Fran remained seated but all four of us noted that he had not taken his eyes from her. Starsky walked past him and asked what the time was. The guy looked irritated but responded by looking at his watch before replying. Starsky was studying him carefully. You never knew when you would have to pick a guy out of a police line-up or a mug book. If nothing untoward happened tonight at Mumbo’s the plan was to wait until he left, follow him to his car and take down the tag number. By midnight tonight, we would know who this guy was, where he worked, what he drove and perhaps even what he ate for lunch…..Well maybe that was pushing it but we would certainly have him fleshed out and under a full police investigation. He could easily be followed for weeks by the LAPD and not even realize it.
For the next hour Fran sat at the bar, declining to dance with men (and one woman) who asked her to dance. At one point Burke approached her under the pretense of wanting to dance again while she filled him in. He immediately reported in to us that he was in fact the guy who had pressured her just one week ago. We took turns to surreptitiously glance his way and it was easy to see he was still watching her and seemed to be waiting.
“It’s 11 pm,” commented Starsky. “I think we should have Fran leave here and see what this joker does.”
I agreed and, as I had yet to approach her, we decided I would go up to ask her to dance.
Burke added, “You know, if we are watching to see if this guy does anything, perhaps we should rile him up a bit first. Hutch, have Fran dance with you and make sure this loser sees you. If he is prowling her that should make him even more irate.”
Starsky and I exchanged looks. The plan seemed like a good one. I nodded silently and made my way to Fran’s side.
“How’s it going?” I asked her.
She turned worried eyes to me. “I’m worried Ken. He’s watching me like a hawk. I can feel his eyes boring into me. I’m frightened of him.”
“I know, Fran. You’re doing terrific. Look, this guy hasn’t taken his eyes off you and if he is the guy we’re after, we want to make sure he is riled up enough to make a move. We’ll be with you to protect you but we have to antagonize him into making a move. I can’t promise that it won’t be a little hairy for a moment. We think he’s just waiting for you to leave and if he follows you, we won’t be far behind. Come dance with me on the dance floor and make out that you’re having a great time. Flirt with me under this guy’s nose. I’ll position us close to him so we really have his attention. Then we’ll indicate we’re exchanging phone numbers and then I want you to gather up your things and walk out that door.” I indicated the main entrance at the front of the venue. “If this guy follows you, don’t run. Unfortunately we have to wait until he makes a move but we’ll be right there. Turn left on Felton Street. Three blocks away is a small municipal park.”
She nodded indicating she knew it.
“If he is going to follow you he is most likely going to make a move somewhere in that park. Starsky and Burke will be positioned there. We’ll be watching you at all times. We’ve got our cars positioned near by so we’ll be able to call in police back up. We can’t have the police waiting ahead of time because that will prevent him from acting. Do you understand what needs to happen?”
I looked into her brown eyes and saw…. trust. I knew that it was for people like Fran that Starsky and I stayed on the police force.
I held out my hand and Fran immediately went into the game plan. She smiled at me and placed her hand in mine. I stood and placed my hand in the small of her back gently guiding her to the dance floor. As if on cue, her stalker moved around the outskirts of the dance floor and came to a halt not 10 feet from where we danced barely on the floor. I had not needed to position Fran near him as he had moved immediately to us. Burke and Starsky made their way behind him but not so close as to arouse his suspicions. All three of us felt secure that he was oblivious to the fact his every move was being watched.
The music tempo changed to a slow dance and I drew Fran close. I whispered into her ear that she should flirt a little and immediately she laughed up at me and held me a little closer. I raised my hand to the nape of her neck and noticed our watcher moved a few steps closer. Any closer and he would be on the dance floor interfering with other dancers. Three dances went by before I guided her off the dance floor and stopped her so she was standing close to the man who was really the focus of our attention. Although the music was too loud for him to hear our conversation I maneuvered Fran so that he would be able to see both our faces. I laughed and asked Fran for her phone number. I made a big deal of looking for a pen and brought out a small, black address book. Fran giggled and looked over my arm as I wrote random numbers next to her name. Having completed my entry I placed it in my shirt pocket and bent forward to give her a brief kiss on the cheek. Fran raised her hand to her cheek and smiled beguilingly up at me. I guided her over to her seat where she took her jacket and I assisted her in putting it on. We walked towards the front door and I noticed we were being followed. It was a lot quieter in the foyer and I was able to talk louder knowing that much of what I was saying could be overheard. “Are you sure I can’t drive you home? Can I call you a cab?”
“No, Ken. Thanks. It’s a lovely evening and I would just as soon walk. I don’t live far and cutting through Memorial Park will halve the time and distance.”
Man, she was good. “It was lovely to meet you and I’ll give you a call tomorrow.” I gave her hand a brief squeeze.
“You do that,” she replied. “I’ll be waiting by the phone.”
I gave her another kiss on the cheek and watched her leave through the front doors. As I turned away from her I nearly bumped into our suspect. “Excuse me,” I mumbled as I noticed Starsky and Burke making their way around the two of us as they slipped out the front door.
“Sure,” the guy nodded distractedly not even looking at me. He hurriedly moved aside and then he was out the front door also. I watched him through he windows as he turned to the left and proceeded to follow Fran down the side walk. I looked across the road and saw Burke and Starsky had split up. I could see Burke watching from the shadows and Starsky was already one block away blending into the night. I knew now the difficult part was beginning. We had to follow close enough to see what happened and intervene when necessary but we couldn’t be so close as to be noticed. Memorial Park was a small park about three blocks from here. There was a fountain in the center and a small area with swings and slides for children to enjoy. I knew Starsky would be there within another two minutes. The park would be the most likely place for this guy to make a move if he was going to. Fran was walking at a leisurely pace, not too fast to show concern but not so slow as to look like she was enjoying a stroll. She walked with a purpose. I went over our positions. Starsky would be watching their approach from bushes in the park. Bourke was hidden in shadows on the other side of the street. I was making my way very slowly after our suspect about a block away. I could not move closer in case this guy turned to check over his shoulder. He would not make a move if he thought he was in danger of being seen.
Fran had made the first corner of the park and took a path that would lead through the wooded area and eventually come out on the other side. There were a couple of street lamps that illuminated some of the path but they were few and far between. And then the creep made his move. Although I had expected him to, at the time he lunged at Fran I was still caught by surprise. Fran gave a small yelp but her mouth had been covered by her attacker’s hand and he pulled her off the path and through a hedge. They were out of my sight. I saw Burke sprint across from the other side of the street and I broke into a run. Timing had to be right. We had to be able to prove a crime was being committed but also Fran’s safety was of the utmost importance.
Burke and I met at the hedge. I waved him to the left and I went right. I ran the length of the hedge and peered around the end. The area was dark and with no illumination at all but I was able to make out two people scuffling on the ground. At that moment Starsky leapt from behind a tree with gun drawn and trained on the attacker. “Police. Freeze,” he yelled.
For a moment it seemed as though our suspect was going to make a run for it but thought better of it as Burke came running from his right. I sprinted across from the left and we had him surrounded. He rose slowly and Fran scrambled from beneath him. She was disheveled but unharmed. Her blouse had been torn with three buttons missing and she held it together with her right hand. Her free hand brushed at her hair before attempting to smooth her skirt that had been pulled up around her waist.
“C’mon. C’mon.” growled Starsky as he handcuffed the attacker before pushing him ahead of him.
“Are you alright, Fran,” I asked gently.
The brave girl nodded silently not daring to speak as she sniffed back tears. Burke put a comforting arm about her shoulder and escorted her after Starsky. I looked briefly about the site before bringing up the rear.
Burke’s car was parked the closest to us and that was only one block away. It had been placed there deliberately should this particular scenario had played out. My car had been positioned down a back alley closer to Mumbo’s and Starsky’s tomato was parked to the east of us. I sprinted on ahead to place the call for police back up and a crime lab. It would be necessary to cordon off the area and take photographs of the crime scene. By the time Starsky with the suspect joined me we could already hear the sirens of a police car in the distance. Burke kept Fran away from us so that she would not be any further distressed at being in such close proximity to that man who had intended her harm.
The suspect’s name was Brandon King and although I did not recognize the face, his name was familiar. I am sure his name was written on more than a few files back at the office. He was quickly transported back to police headquarters where he would be questioned in the company of his court appointed lawyer. Starsky had already read him his Miranda Rights. Fran was helped into a second squad car where she also would be taken in for questioning. She would be asked to make a statement and I knew it was going to be a long night for her after such a harrowing evening. Before she left I had joined Starsky and Burke in thanking her for her willingness to help. I assured her we would check with her tomorrow and guide her in what needed to be done in order to bring this creep to trial as quickly as possible. She had smiled wanly and seemed grateful to relax in the safety of the squad car. She sure was some gal. In 20 minutes the three of us we the only ones left at the scene.
“Hey, good work guys,” said Burke obviously pleased. Adrenaline was still coursing through our bodies and the satisfaction at capturing our suspect with no harm to either Fran or ourselves was hard to contain. “We can fill our reports out in the morning. My car is right here. How about I take you back to your vehicles and we can debrief tomorrow.”
It sounded like a great idea to me. The adrenalin was fading fast and I was feeling decidedly tired and Starsky and I still had some unfinished business.
We piled into Burke’s car and in five minutes he was pulling up next to my car. “Here you are Hutch,” he said. “Starsky, I’ll drop you around to your car.”
“Thanks Burke. That’s not necessary. Hutch’ll drop me off. You’re tired and we have to be back here first thing in the morning for our reports.”
Burke contained his disappointment and as Starsky made to get out of the front seat, he placed a hand on his arm. “Hey,” Burke said. “Even though we were on duty, I had a good time. Now you see what Mumbo’s is like, maybe we can make plans to go again. I could show you a good time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Starsky replied before getting out of the car and standing beside me. “Good work tonight, Burke,” he added through the passenger door window before stepping back to allow Burke to leave.
“See you tomorrow,” he called as he drove off leaving Starsky and me alone by my parked car.
Starsky turned to me appearing to size up the situation before moving soundlessly to the passenger seat of my car.
“Let’s go,” I said. “It’s been a long night.”
“A long week,” Starsky replied, rubbing his lower lip and turning to look out the window. A small frown furrowed his brow and tension lines were drawn in his face.
* * *
In less than 5 minutes I was dropping Starsky off at his car and in an unspoken agreement I knew I would follow him to whichever home he chose to go. He stepped silently from my car and without a backwards glance at me he opened the door of his car and stepped inside. As he pulled away from the street and turned to the left I knew we were going to his house.
I followed Starsky back to his place and pulled into a parking space nearby. Starsky was already out of his car by the time I closed my driver’s door. He was waiting for me and we proceeded silently into his house together. I could sense a degree of tension and I recognized the fact he did not touch me as we climbed the stairs together. It had been over a week since I was last here. Starsky had been spending his time at my place except for last night when I had driven him away from me, out of my bed due to my childish, over zealous, jealous imagination. Once inside Starsky was already going through his routine of removing his holster and he crossed silently over to the refrigerator. Nothing inside must have met his approval as he soon shut the door before turning to me.
“Man, what a night,” he commented neutrally. He sounded nonchalant but there was a strain in his voice that pulled at my heart strings. He would not….could not, look at me. It was out of character for Starsky to seem so unsure. I had to come clean and speak my mind. It was unfair of me to distress him because of my own warring emotions. Still I hesitated. Why? I was embarrassed at my coming confession, unsure of Starsky’s response. He would jump to the conclusion that I didn’t trust him and would feel hurt. I had to assure him that I did trust him. That was never the issue. My hesitation came from the fact that I feared Starsky would think worse of me….would be angry at me in return, for being so difficult, and being the cause of this breach between us. He may feel trapped, oppressed by me who seemed to want to own him completely.
I took a breath. The time was now. “Starsk. We have to talk.” I stated flatly.
Starsky reacted as though words he had been dreading we finally spoken. Something in my tone of voice made him freeze before slowly turning to me and raising himself to his full height. He stiffened and took a deep breath. “Sure.” His voice was non-committal but his eyes looked haunted and glittered hard. His mouth had set in a firm line.
Where do I start, I thought before taking a long breath. “I’ve had enough…..I just can’t go on feeling this way.” I shook my head slowly, my voice sounding dejected even to my own ears.
Starsky paled, his face set as stone before he looked down and turned away from me. “What way is that?” he whispered an edge of fear coloring the words.
“I feel so angry, so…so dissatisfied.” I took a step toward him but his wall of armor was up immediately and the bristles emanating from him effectively stopped me. I wanted nothing more than to take this man whom I loved so completely, whom it was so obvious I didn’t deserve, into my arms and show him with my hands and mouth how I cherished him. I wanted to offer my body to him. I knew how to please him but for the first time in our relationship I felt I needed his permission to touch him. How had things gotten so bad between us so quickly? This wasn’t how it was meant to be. This wasn’t how we were with each other. Oh, to have my happiness so dependent on someone else…….
My thoughts were interrupted by the unexpected ferocity from my partner. At my last words he turned and faced me and I saw anger blazing; heard anger even in his indrawn breath as I waited for the long feared barrage of words. But with the anger I saw pain in his eyes. Pain? What? My thoughts were fuddled as I tried to make sense of his words.
“So that’s it, huh.” There was a finality in his words I did not quite comprehend. “I’m sorry you feel that way Hutch.” He paused before drawing a ragged breath. He sounded lost and bewildered as though his world was crumbling. “I don’t know what’s gone wrong between us. I don’t seem to make you happy any more. You’ve been pushing me away all week. It’s obvious you don’t want me with you. You made that quite clear last night.” There was a catch in his voice and he paused before continuing. “But have you ever stopped to think how your actions affect me? Do my own feelings mean so little to you? I love you. I thought you loved me. I thought you were as happy as I have been these past two years. I thought ours was a commitment to last forever. Has everything you’ve said to me been a lie? Your whispers of love and commitment in the middle of the night; your talk of our future together…..and now you’ve just changed your mind?….that you’re ‘dissatisfied’?” His voice broke on the last word but he went on. “I’m sorry if you’ve been disappointed…. ‘dissatisfied’….. with me. I’m sorry I’ve been a burden. The last thing I want is for you to stay with me for some sense of pity, or some obligation. You cared for me after Gunther’s bullets and my recovery is due to you. I suppose we just progressed from there but now that I am well and back on the force, I suppose you’re beginning to see that our relationship is really not what you want after all.” There was a hesitation in his voice but he continued. “Well, I can’t go back to just being partners…….not after what we’ve shared. I can’t go back to working with you so closely and not be able to reach for you, kiss you…..touch you.” He turned as though steeling himself to utter the next words that would effectively end our partnership of friendship and love. “I’ll ask Dobey tomorrow for a new partner and then you’ll be free of me. I suppose he’ll assign me to Burke. Will that make you ‘satisfied’ now?” The edge of sarcasm cut like a knife.
“Burke?” I choked over his name. I was stung at Starsky’s casual mention of him and I directed all my anger I held toward that loathsome man at the innocent one who stood forlornly before me. “Well, he’ll be happy about that.” I felt the sneer on my face which mirrored the sneer of my words. “I’m sure the two of you will be very happy together. He couldn’t keep his hands off you tonight.” I could not keep the bitterness and jealousy under control. My words just flowed from my mouth meaning nothing.
I was a man of words but Starsky was a man of action and his fist hit me unexpectedly in the gut before a rough shove sent me careening into the wall. I doubled over waiting for another blow but none came and I looked up from my bent position, gasping.
Starsky was white and shaking. He was partly turned from me but his fear filled eyes searched out my face. “Get out of here,” was all he uttered through clenched teeth. It seemed that was all he was capable of saying. A shudder shook through his body and I could only guess at what it had cost him to have uttered those words.
I would have said something but I couldn’t get a breath. Starsky’s blow had winded me. Hunched over, I took a step to the door numbly responding to his demand. Where would I go? My world was crumbling at my feet. I felt alone and cut off from the source of all the love I would ever need. It was all Burke’s fault! No….it was mine….and mine alone. At Starsky’s mention of Burke’s name, all my other thoughts had been overpowered but now, gasping for breath, I was able to sort out what Starsky had been saying. I shook my head in a futile attempt to put Starsky’s words in to a perspective I could comprehend. Starsky had said he loves me? I knew that! He said he was sorry he had been a burden to me? He had never been a burden! What had given him that fool idea? He’d said our relationship was something I no longer wanted? What?! That wasn’t true. Another shake of my head. It was not adding up.
“I don’t understand.” My breathing was coming a little easier and I could stand a little straighter.
“You don’t understand?” he stated incredulously his voice husky with emotion. “You’re the one who has suddenly changed all the rules. You won’t touch me. You won’t kiss me. You won’t …..love me. Get out of here since you want so much to end our relationship. Our love has left you so ‘angry and dissatisfied’ I think you said.” His voice caught on his own words. “Then get out and leave me alone. I love you too much to hold you back.” His voice broke and his eyes glittered dangerously.
I was stunned. I knew he would be angry with me but where was this coming from. Wasn’t he over-reacting just a little bit? There seemed to be a chasm between us and I felt so disconnected from the one person who truly knew and understood me. I felt a gaping hole open in my chest as I stumbled over my reply. “Our love has never been the issue.” I was incredulous. What was happening here? “Where are you coming from saying I am ‘dissatisfied’ with you and our love? You know I love you. I always have. I always will.” I pleaded for his understanding.
Starsky’s face was pale and his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. His breathing was ragged and he looked beaten……scared. He looked at me with confusion and anxiety. “Then why are you doing this to me? Why are you ending our relationship?” It was a whispered plea for an explanation.
I was stunned and my look of confusion must have registered with Starsky as he took a deep breath and demanded in a smooth, even voice he struggled to maintain. “Hutch, what is going on? You’ve got to talk to me buddy. You owe me an explanation before you walk out the door and destroy my life.”
I felt shame wash over me as I formed the words of my confession. “I can’t work with Burke any more. He is all over you. He won’t leave you alone. He’s got the hots for you and I can’t do anything about it. He doesn’t know you’re taken…..that you’re in a committed relationship. I can’t very well go up to him and warn him to back off. Our love for each other has to remain private. This past week I’ve been trapped, having to endure his advances on you, feeling nothing but jealousy, feeling so possessive of you I was going to smother you. I hate these feelings. I hate feeling to vulnerable…..that in the blink of an eye you could walk out and I can’t live without you.”
Starsky was speechless. The silence loomed before us. This is what I had feared most. He clarified, “Burke? You’re jealous of Burke? You’re jealous of Burke! All of this hell has been because of a feeling of jealousy!” He shook his head in amazement and I felt ashamed. I could see Starsky was struggling to get everything into perspective. “You’ve been irritable and short with me because you thought I had a thing for Burke?” He sounded incredulous and the question now sounded ridiculous even to my own ears.
“No. Of course not. I never doubted you. I just felt so trapped. So out of control. I could see Burke flirting with you, squeezing me out and there was nothing I could do.”
“You could have talked to me.” Starsky’s voice was plaintive. “I knew something was bugging you. I tried to reach out to you but you just turned me away. I was so lost. I had no idea what the problem was….only that there was a problem and you were shutting me out from helping you. I started wondering if you wanted to end our relationship, and now, this evening, when you told me you were ‘dissatisfied,’ I thought my life was ending. Can you imagine what it’s been like this past week, waiting for you to talk to me and yet dreading it at the same time for fear of what you were going to say……that you were going to leave. As for Burke, I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I don’t even know if he prefers guys and quite frankly, I don’t even care.” He paused a moment as he considered further my words. “Do you doubt my love so much that you could think for even a moment I would leave you? Hutch….Hutch I love you. We’ve been through too much together.” His disappointment in my apparent distrust was evident and I knew I had to act quickly.
I crossed the gap to my life’s partner’s side and gathered him into my arms. “I am so sorry. I knew my behavior was making no sense. Heck, I couldn’t even understand it myself. All I knew was Burke was making advances on you, I couldn’t do anything about it and I felt if I’d told you, you’d have felt betrayed at my apparent distrust of you. I never doubted you. I always knew you loved me. I should have reassured you of my love in return but I didn’t know my words and actions were causing you to think I wanted to end our relationship. Starsky, your love for me is the post important thing in my life. You are my reason to live. My happiness is so dependent on you and that makes me feel vulnerable.”
“Trust me, Hutch,” was all he said and he leant in to me for the kiss his lips had been aching for. My mouth molded to his and our kiss was a reaffirmation of the love we shared. There was an urgency in our kiss…a need to assure and heal. When we broke apart I could see only love and belonging in his blue eyes. His faced was flushed and I knew what he hungered for. There had been nothing but irritability and rejection this past week and now Starsky needed me. He needed the physical touch only I could give to assure him that all was right in his world. I knew, as indeed I had always known, he needed me as much as I needed him.
I drew him into a closer embrace and pressed my body against his. He moaned with pent up desire and the sound was cathartic. I felt him weaken in my arms as he leaned against me. I gripped both biceps and held him at arms length to look into his eyes. They were blue pools, trusting and giving with the promise of love to come. Wordlessly I released him and turning, I led him to our bedroom.
In the familiar room he came immediately into my outstretched arms and I placed one hand at the back of his head losing it in his curls. Our foreheads touched and my one free hand lowered to the stud of his jeans. With a snap it parted and my hand pushed down the zipper of his fly allowing me access. I pressed my hand against the bulge of his desire.
“Hutch….please….” he gasped.
“What do you want,” I whispered devilishly, my lips brushing feather light against his temple.
“I want….I want…..you…..to love me………please,” he asked breathlessly, plaintively.
My heart lurched. “Oh Starsk, I won’t make you beg.” I applied gentle pressure against his chest with my body and forced him down on the bed. We were well matched in strength but he allowed me control. He nestled down lying on our bed gazing at me with expectant eyes. I stopped to look at him before lying next to him and then I turned to cover his body with my own, pinning him beneath me with my weight. I could feel his erection through my jeans as he humped against my leg. I raised my weight with my arms and Starsky followed me not wanting to break our contact. “Babe, get undressed,” I whispered.
Starsky rolled from the bed and grabbed his T-shirt with both hands about to draw it over his head. His jeans were still open and I reached out with one hand to grab one wrist. “Not so fast. We’ve got all night and I want to watch you. I couldn’t dance with you at Mumbo’s but here it’s just the two of us.”
My words were rewarded with a blush and my lover smiled understanding that this would be a night to make up for all I had inadvertently put him through. I could almost sense him purring with anticipation and he seemed to sense the power he held over me. He slowly went about removing each article of clothing in a manner designed to have me hunger for him. I reached out to touch him but his body swayed just beyond my reach. He removed his briefs and there he stood, naked, before me. He stopped moving and gazed at me with wonder and excitement. “Hutch….” He whispered.
In one fluid movement I rose from the bed and reduced the space between us to millimeters. My love clung to me with a desperation heightened by the fear he’d experienced earlier. Poor Starsky. I had never realized he could come to the conclusion that I wanted to end this most precious relationship. I know I had been acting erratically but that was as I dealt with my own feelings of doubt and jealousy.
“Starsky,” I answered into his hair. “Don’t ever think I don’t love you. You are my life…..my reason to live. I love you so much.” I ran my hands down his naked body across his butt and back up to his shoulders. I felt him shiver and hugged him even closer. “Let me look at you,” I whispered and held him at arms length before I took two steps back. He stood before me, a flush moving across his cheeks. He was unsure under my gaze.
“What?” He asked. His fingers of his left hand rose unbidden to touch the largest of the three bullet scars on his chest. He looked down at his erection.
“Come here,” I said lovingly. “You need to get laid…..bad.”
His smile was beyond compare and he came to me and willingly joined his mouth to mine. I felt his tongue rove the underside of my lips in desperate need. I hated having to break away in order to guide him down on the bed and I felt a stab of guilt as he clutched at me with a sense of urgency knowing I was the cause for this insecurity so unfamiliar to him. Starsky had never felt so vulnerable and was not sure how to handle the troubling emotions that had overpowered him earlier. I quickly shimmied out of my clothes cursing the time it took before lying next to him and he quickly gathered me tightly into his arms. I pressed the length of my body against his and my hands began to slowly explore. In our love making we often tussled matching our strength and enjoying the feel of each others power in a friendly game of dominance but for this moment he was quiet and subdued as he luxuriated against my hands and closed his eyes communicating, without words, his need for a physical demonstration of my love for him. What he needed now was some deep, slow loving as I tried to undo the damage I had caused. I nuzzled into his neck, mouthing lightly over the point I could feel his pulse. My hands gentled his anxiousness and my lips played across his neck and chest. Starsky answered with a thrust of his hips, seeking contact. My groin met his and we rubbed enticingly against each other before I gripped his erection in my hand and slowly moved along its length. I could feel it pulse with desire. He gave a whimper of pleasure and my heart swelled at the chance to show him how much I loved him. I stroked him lovingly knowing exactly the moves and caresses he enjoyed most. I knew how to build him to the peak of desire and I could feel him building to the edge. “Come on babe….come on. Give yourself to me…..me alone……There is no one else,” I whispered intimately. My words bathed his soul just as he bathed my hand. The thrill of realizing I had been the cause of his pleasure gave me the release I needed and I felt him draw me close against his chest as I shuddered against him. The wetness of our love mingled together as we held each other tight and that night we knew that our commitment to each other was forever….that there was no one else in our lives and our love was faithful for all time.
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1 comment
Dear Aussie Joan:
What a great case fic combined with the grinding edges of Hutch’s jealousy! I wish Hutch had confided in Starsky sooner, but that would have made the story quite short, eh? 🙂 But I’m glad they finally had their meeting of minds (and, of course, the hot make-up loving)!
Your original characters were very well realized–Burke, Fran, even the poor victim’s elderly father. Great writing! And a very enjoyable story.
Lastly, if you have time for a quick reply: Did they catch the true killer, or was he just your typical barfly asshole? Our boys have him cold for assault, but is he the murderer? Maybe this would be a great jumping off point for a sequel! (Yes, we readers are always greedy for more great fic.)
Thank you, so very much, for writing and sharing!
Warm fannish regards,
Kath Moonshine