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Table of Contents

NOTE: This is a script treatment, a story with only partial dialog, no scene changes and little ‘direction.’ Some directorial instructions are included, in caps, but, hopefully, they will be self-explanatory. Character names are in capital letters the first time they appear.

Starsky and Hutch are involved in a serious traffic accident and, while waiting for help, relive a lot of memories, good and bad, sweet and sad.

Contemporary Note: Every dramatic series that’s been on the air for at least three seasons does a ‘flashback’ (or ‘bottle’; this is a term I‘ve just learned) episode; “Starsky and Hutch” was no exception. However, the producers and writers had never really paid attention to the continuity of the show and, therefore, had no idea what a treasure trove of scenes they had at their disposal. When I heard that a flashback episode was being contemplated I thought I could write a better one than they would so I gave it a try. Here is the treatment I wrote, in late December of 1977, mid-way through 3rd season. (I gave it to Asa Clark, one of the editors, to read and he loved it! Said he’d never read a treatment like it, knew exactly where every foot of film was and was ready to starting cutting any time! It would have been an Herculean task but I think he would have loved every minute of it). I don’t believe anyone in the production office ever actually read my treatment. Instead, they wrote a standard (the way TV had always done it: entire scenes from prior episodes inserted into the “new” episode for whatever reason the script purported), supposedly ‘funny’ but, in my opinion, mean-spirited script, “Partners,” and produced what I considered a less-than-satisfying episode. (I have some very far behind-the-scene experiences with this particular episode if anyone is interested; let me know, please.) Below is my treatment. Dust off your DVDs, you might need them. Oh, a point I need to mention though; if you’re watching the series in reruns on TV, and not on supposedly uncut DVDs, or video tapes taken from original airings, you’re missing 5-10 minutes of footage from each episode, cut to accommodate all the additional commercials. Some of the scenes referred to in this treatment could be among ‘the missing.’ Sorry about that.

ACT 1

It is early morning. The Torino moves at a moderate pace, probably only just above the speed limit, through the countryside, somewhere along a peaceful, curving two-lane highway. STARSKY is driving, HUTCH beside him. In casual conversation and banter we learn that they are on their way to visit Starsky’s mother and aunt who are spending a couple of weeks in the mountains East of Bay City; nearer her son, who can visit, but not actually in that huge, smoggy L.A. basin. A little weary of the hustle and bustle themselves, they have taken her suggestion and are driving up via this virtually un-traveled, scenic route, rather than the congested freeway. They are in high spirits, joking and laughing and just generally enjoying each other’s company, and the prospect of a few days off.

Up the road, ahead of them, an old pick-up truck, definitely past its prime, but painted and polished nicely, moves in their direction. It is driven by a young man, DICK, about 20, a local boy who’s on his way to work at a gas station in town. From a side road, another pick-up pulls out onto the highway and overtakes him, traveling on the wrong side of the road. This truck is almost as old but painted flashier and not as well kept-up; it is driven by WES, 22, a hot shot. Wes and Dick know each other well and this is one of their standard ‘games:’ Wes urging a race, Dick declining, but Wes refusing to move out of the passing lane. Dick doesn’t really enjoy the whole business but it’s never hurt anyone and he doesn’t have the strength of character to make Wes back off. So, little by little, their speed increases until they’re racing flat-out down the deserted highway. But today it has taken Wes longer than usual to persuade Dick to join him in the ‘fun’ and they’re past their normal slowing down place, where the road starts to develop blind curves; they round one slight curve, still racing. Wes has pulled ahead of Dick by a little more than a truck-length and, as they scream around the next, sharper bend, Wes’s truck is ‘face to face’ with the Torino.

Starsky, in the middle of a come-back to some comment of Hutch’s, but still doing his usual excellent driving, reacts instantaneously, spinning the steering wheel and throwing the Torino as hard right as possible. Dick reacts almost as rapidly and, being a little farther back, is able to avoid the actual confrontation by diving off the road to his right, into the drainage ditch, crashing up onto the berm on the far side. Wes however, true to his veneer-only braggadocio, freezes; and his truck, already in a left-hand turn for the curve, impacts just forward of the driver’s door of the Torino. The combined speed practically melds the two vehicles and they careen off the road, locked in each other’s death throes. Wes is flung from his truck but the boys, seat-belted in for once, stay within the relative shelter of their car.

As the dust, smoke and flying pieces of glass and sheet metal fall/disperse, Dick crawls out of his badly damaged vehicle and makes his way to Wes; discovers that he’s dead. Then, with the dust still settling, he makes his unsteady way to the passenger’s side of the Torino.

Hutch has a bad gash on the right side of his head that’s bleeding pretty badly (head wounds do that), bruises and a wrenched shoulder, and is badly shaken up, but conscious. He is dispelling the proverbial cobwebs as Dick gets to the side of the car and, of course, his first thought is for Starsky. But his partner hasn’t been as lucky: when the left front of the Torino became part of Vern’s pick-up everything in the car was bent and mashed to where the steering wheel now pins Starsky inescapably between the back of the seat and the gearshift/console, with the remains of the driver’s door compressed against his left side. Both his legs, tangled among the peddles, steering column and remains of the firewall, are broken, and the left side of his chest is crushed. He’s unconscious.

Hutch’s immediate concern is to get Starsky free, but it is quickly evident that this will be impossible without a great deal of help and specialized rescue equipment. The conclusion, of course, is that Dick will have to go for help on foot. He dashes back to his wrecked truck, rummages around in the cab, returning quickly with a First Aid kit which he hands to Hutch through the shattered passenger window, saying as how he needs to stop the bleeding. Hutch wasn’t even aware of the cut on his head and, taking the kit, thanks Dick. With a minimum of time wasted in talk, he’s gone but it’s almost four miles to the nearest phone at the gas station where he works and, unless a car should happen to come along in the meantime, it’ll be at least an hour before he’ll be able to get back with any help. An hour is a very long time to wait in such circumstances and, although Hutch has been in very nearly this position himself, this time it’s different, this time it’s Starsky who’s badly injured/trapped. Hutch is as close to being at a loss as we’ve ever seen him.

ACT 2

As this will be a ‘real time’ script, it is only a few minutes later. Hutch has wrapped some gauze tightly around his head and the bleeding has nearly stopped. Starsky regains consciousness, confused and dazed rather than in real pain. Yet. The situation is easily grasped and, as Hutch fills him in on Dick’s participation, and assures him that his own head wound is superficial, Starsky works to get his fuzzy mind to accept the fact that he’s completely trapped. The only thing that will keep his creeping panic at bay is Hutch’s presence, soothing voice, and refusal to give up.

As they settle down to wait, the first thing Starsky realizes is the absolute absurd irony of it: of all the ways he could have been killed, almost was killed, why this?! It’s so stupid!!!

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER ONE: “Shootout” (actual shooting scene); “Kill Huggy Bear” (the runaway ride down the hill in the Torino without brakes); “Bloodbath” (the cultist gives him the drugged water); and “Coffin for Starsky” (“Hutch………….. Help…”).

Hutch knows exactly what he’s remembering and shares his rage at the useless stupidity. But he also knows he can’t allow Starsky to dwell on it. So he cajoles and chides, and even yells a little, until Starsky regains his objectivity.

However, when Starsky does take his first objective look around, he finally realizes the condition of his beloved car, and it brings almost physical pain and tears. Immediately though, without even thinking about it, Hutch has the answer to that one. With only slightly forced good cheer, he tells Starsky not to worry: as soon as they get back to town, he’ll call Merle and Starsky’s insurance company, and get everybody working on finding a duplicate; that by the time he’s out of the hospital, he promises it’ll be ready, that Starsky’ll never be able to tell the difference. In his befuddled state, this almost blows Starsky away; Hutch would really do that??! After all the things he’s said about the Torino??

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER TWO: “Kill Huggy Bear” (Hutch test drives the Torino; “it’s red”); “Death in a Different Place” (the Torino breaks down on the way to work); and “The Plague, Part I” (at the airport: “They’re gonna tow it away, Starsk”).

Hutch quickly admits that most of those times were just due to his being ornery and putting Starsky on. Besides, Hutch couldn’t count all the times Starsky had made disparaging comments about his car. Remember?

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER THREE: “Jo-Jo” (responding to a call: “Want me to get out and push?” “Just get out!” “Temper, temper, temper”); the Series Pilot (deciding which car to take in the Tag); “Vendetta” (leaving the hospital: “better than that red tomato you drive”); “Snow Storm” (“you want me to put you on roller skates and tow you along in back?”); segueing into “Survival” (entire Tag, where Starsky presents Hutch with his ‘new wheels.’)

And remembering begets other remembering, with Starsky needing to hold on to past happiness. A long look is exchanged, with Starsky almost needlessly verbalizing the question, “We’ve had good times, haven’t we, Hutch?” Hutch’s affirmation is silent but unquestionable as he grips his partner’s uninjured right arm, reading his mind, as he’s almost always been able to do, and sharing the memories:

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER FOUR: “Death Notice” (entire tag: the singing of ‘Black Bean Soup,’ leading to “the secret ingredient is love for good friends….”), “Crying Child” (Laurel and Hardy routine); “The Collector” (foursome at Molly’s); “Velvet Jungle” (white face Charlie Chaplin scene); and “Long Walk Down a Short Dirt Road” (entire tag).

Sometimes though, remembering good things can be saddening, especially if there’s a very real possibility that there will be no more good times. Starsky begins to drift and Hutch, his hand on his partner’s shoulder, fingers twined in the curly hair, lets him rest.

ACT 3

Hutch has extricated himself from the Torino and is making a search of both trucks, finding no drinkable liquid, but comes back with a blanket from Dick’s pick-up. As he crawls back inside the car, Starsky, in his semi-conscious state, mumbles Hutch’s name. Hutch assures him he’s “right here, not goin’ anywhere,” and spreads the blanket over his partner as well as he can, without jostling him. As Hutch finishes tucking the blanket around him, Starsky drifts back to consciousness, focuses on his best friend’s face and hears him ask: “… you okay?”

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER FIVE: short cuts of Hutch saying exactly the same words, almost exactly the same way in “Lady Blue,” “Losing Streak,” “Coffin for Starsky,” “Running,” and “Murder on Voodoo Island.”

But such montage-memories can be disturbing for someone only on the edge of awareness and Starsky’s momentary confusion causes the first of the intense pain as he takes too deep a breath. His hands grab the steering wheel, trying to fight the rising agony and nausea. Hutch, knowing all too well from all too recent experience, exactly what his partner is going through, and needing to help, pries Starsky’s right hand from it’s death grip on the wheel and transfers that grip to his own hand.

FLASHBACK NUMBER SIX: instead of a sequence of scenes, this is a one-only: “The Plague, Part II” (hospital room, Starsky gripping Hutch’s hand, helping him overcome the pain).

As the worst of the spasm eases, Starsky is much weaker and his face is perspiring heavily. Hutch takes off the plaid shirt he’s wearing over his t-shirt and begins to tear off one of the sleeves. Starsky doesn’t understand what he’s doing and tries to stop him. “Hey! Don’t tear that shirt. My mother gave you that shirt!” “I know. And if you think she wouldn’t approve, you don’t know her as well as you think you do.”

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER SEVEN: “Lady Blue” (“I don’t care what your mother says, you’re not Rudolph Valentino…” and the last of the tag, “I called your mother… she calls it the Paul Muni Special”), and “Running” (Starsky talking to his mother on the phone).

Hutch folds the remainder of the shirt into a pad and slips it behind Starsky’s head, his fingers tightening in the chocolate curls for a moment, then wipes the sweat gently from Starsky’s face with the sleeve. Trying to keep things as light as possible for as long as possible, he semi-kids: “Listen, you oughta be used to this by now, you’ve been in tight places before…….”

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER EIGHT: “Shootout” (Hutch ministering to him: “… and when they’re finished with him, we’re next…”); “Coffin for Starsky” (in the lab: “we’ve still got seven hours…” and outside the porn studio, “…it hurts, Hutch… awww, it hurts…); “Bloodbath” (hanging by his wrists, prepared by the cult for slaughter); and “The Trap” (in the barn: “…..if this should turn out, you know, tacky….”).

Hutch’s fingers have taken a tighter grip in Starsky’s hair, trying to keep him in the here and now, “And you’ve always come through, so what are you worrying about now?” But Starsky is getting close to the point where banter isn’t possible; they’ve both been here before, and repetition doesn’t make it any easier.

ACT 4

Starsky’s been drifting but, suddenly, the pain grips again, somewhat differently this time; his head lolls and he’s close to passing out completely. Hutch knows he has to try to keep Starsky conscious, lucid if possible; unconsciousness now could rapidly become coma, then death. He puts his hands on either side of Starsky’s face, pressing gently, trying to get and keep Starsky’s attention, his voice almost demanding obedience: “Hang on, Starsk! Don’t you dare quit on me!!” The edge of real fear in Hutch’s voice makes Starsky fight back to the surface; his answering tone is an attempt at the voice of the Unjustly Accused: “Would I do that?!” For the first time, Hutch is flung into memories of his own; of course Starsky had never, and would never quit on him.

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER NINE: “The Fix” (Starsky finds Hutch in the alley; later, cradles him in his arms on the bed at Huggy’s); “The Plague, Part II” (hospital room, “…so you get out there and walk the streets…” then Starsky and Huggy, “… nobody’s quittin’”); “Survival” (Starsky and Karla: “…someone very, very, very close to me…”); and “Gillian” (confrontation scene).

Starsky’s condition is deteriorating and his conscious mind would be somewhat analogous to a balloon being filled with helium. The internal bleeding that’s been going on is causing him to be light-headed; he’s able to disengage himself from the reality of the physical pain and almost float above it. He’s fully conscious but no longer totally aware of his surroundings. The crooked smile on his face, as he looks at Hutch, is almost contented. “We were a good team, weren’t we, Hutch?” Hutch’s frayed nerves and pent-up anxieties put an unintended angry note in his voice: “What the hell are you using the past tense for, dummy?! We ARE a good team! The best!!”

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER TEN: “Murder at Sea” (getting the bombs topside and overboard); “Silence” (Hutch’s ‘stalk’ through the Venice arcade with Starsky and the open-door Torino growling along beside); “Savage Sunday” (in Ted’s paint shop: “… you want to tell us about the white car, that isn’t white any longer?”); “Murder Ward” (the capture of Matwick); “Gillian” (the shootout in the theater); “Death Notice” (on the loading dock at Delano’s meat factory, fluidly handling the two goons); and “I Love you, Rosey Malone” (Hutch blows his cool in the Feds’ office).

Starsky’s expression becomes very reflective as Hutch tucks the blanket more tightly around him and wipes his face again. Hutch has to lean forward as his partner tries to say something, strains to catch the words. “I’ve never said it, have I?” Holding his partner’s look a long moment, Hutch smiles that sad/sweet/happy smile: “You’ve said it.”

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE NUMBER ELEVEN: “The Specialist” (pieces of the tag); “Survival” (Starsky finds Hutch); “The Plague, Part II” (Starsky watches Hutch sleeping restlessly, … writes on the window); “Psychic” (Starsky finds Hutch, miraculously alive); “Coffin for Starsky” (“if this was a cowboy movie…”) “The Fix” (Starsky pulls Hutch’s head against his chest and rubs his back: “Yeah, you’ve got a ways to go,” and in the alley, after Monk is dead: Hutch almost falls off the wall and into Starsky’s arms); “Manchild on the Streets” (hospital waiting room, end of Act II); “Fatal Charm” (end of Act IV: “Where ya goin’?” “Think I’ll sit down”); and “Starsky‘s Lady” (tag, on the floor in the kitchen: “… ‘Dearest Hutch, To you I entrust Ollie and Dave… please love them both, and don’t let either one of them change’). NOTE: SIREN SFX UNDER, BUILDING…

CONTINUING AND BUILDING as we come back to the present. Starsky is too far gone to realize the significance of the sound, but the expression on Hutch’s face says everything.

TAG

On the porch of what is presumably a hospital, Hutch pushes Starsky out into the bright sunshine: his left leg is in a cast to the hip, the right is in a foot-and-lower-leg cast, but, all in all, he looks great. As they reach the railing, Hutch leaves Starsky’s wheelchair facing outward, overlooking a crowded parking lot; moves around and leans his butt against the railing, next to Starsky’s feet. But he seems uncomfortable, trying to say something that’s evidently difficult. Starsky is just plain happy; grins. “Spit it out, Hutch, what’s botherin’ ya?” Finally, Hutch manages to say that getting Starsky another car had been harder than he’d thought it would be: he’d tried, and he’d done his best; he hoped Starsky would understand. With that, he moves a few steps to a nearby table, picks up a rectangular box, takes it back and hands it to his partner; moves around to lean back against the railing again. Slowly, Starsky unwraps the brown paper, opens the box, and takes out a perfect scale model of the Torino. He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry; he was truly looking forward to the new car, but Hutch said he’d done his best. As Starsky tries to cope with his disappointment, Hutch makes a small waving gesture behind his back, toward the parking lot. Shooting from behind Starsky, past Hutch, down into the lot, we see a two-ton truck start to drive forward, revealing the ass end of a very red car.

CUT IMMEDIATELY to a close-up of Starsky’s face. We watch as it takes a few seconds for his wandering eyes to fasten on the ‘apparition’ below, then grow as large as proverbial saucers.

Cutting back to a full shot, Hutch is savoring every moment. There are no words needed, of course, but Starsky’s left hand reaching for and gripping Hutch’s extended left hand, and Hutch’s face-splitting smile are perfect testimony to, well…. Everything.

END

END NOTE: I’ve suddenly realized, after just now re-reading the treatment myself, that one of the reasons I wrote it the way I did, with short clips instead of the usual single-scenes of other series’ “bottle episodes,” was in order to use the scene from “Silence.” For some reason, Hutch’s ‘stalk,’ with the open-door Torino beside him, and Starsky ever-vigilant inside, remains one of my all-time favorites from the series. It was only first season but it dramatized, for me, all the qualities of the partnership/friendship that I found so mesmerizing: total trust in each other, total support, uncanny instincts matching excellent skills, silent communication with complete, instant understanding; in short: Starsky&Hutch, no spaces. They were one. I’d been addicted to the show (pun intended, I guess) since “The Fix” but, after “Silence” I was hooked forever. Evidence the fact that here I am, almost 40 years later, still remembering, with great pleasure, all the joy I found in “Starsky & Hutch.”