Anticipation

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The perfect day…How did things go so wrong?

 

Also archived on the Bay City Library Archive on 4/5/2003 here.

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We can never know about the days to come,
But we think about them anyway —
And I wonder, if I’m really with you now,
Or just chasin’ after some finer day.
~C. SIMON

 

Chapter 1

“Okay, Hutch — you go left and high. Mike, you go right and out.”

It was the annual company PAL picnic, the day warm and sunny day, turnout excellent as usual. The one day policemen could forget about crime, the disease of the city, smog, reports, and the only backs anyone had to cover were the ones in the football game the guys got together. This was a day wives got introduced, children got shown off, and friendships prevailed. Today, they could all relax, be who they ‘really’ were, no tough guy routines.

Starsky, in his painted-on cut-off jean shorts, Brave’s t-shirt, and, of course, his Adidas, was ready to tackle his high-spirited blond sidekick. Being on opposite teams had its advantages. Starsky was ready to show his athletic partner who was boss, who ruled out on the field. “Zebra 12, Zebra 5, Zebra 7, Hike!”

Hutch went left and high, ready for the catch, in control, going for the winning touchdown — a man with a plan. He was more than surprised when his feet were taken out from under him and he met the grass, up close and personal. Giving up the ball was totally unacceptable, especially to his assailant, the invader of his space, the aggressor, and thief of HIS touchdown. They rolled and slid and rolled again. Instead of ending up with the football in hand, Hutch now had a mass of thick curly hair in a headlock.

“Lemme go Hutch!”

“Not a chance, buddy. You don’t think–”

“Hey, buster, it’s just a touchdown, and you wouldn’t have made it anyway, broncho!”

Both ended up wrestling and laughing, not realizing that all activity had ceased to watch the show. No one else existed, no one else mattered, it was the Me and the Thee Team at their finest. Starsky looked up at the shaking heads and mind-boggling expressions.

“It’s his fault,” Starsky laughed, pointing at his partner. He got up, brushing the grass off his wardrobe. “Hey!”

“You don’t get off that easy, buddy.” Hutch grabbed the legs attached to the Adidas and had him on the ground for one more round.

“Hey, Hutchinson, Taco man, you guys gonna play football or continue to insult the integrity of the game?”

Both looked at each other with upraised eyebrows, trying to hide another bout of laughter unsuccessfully. They had forgotten about their audience. This behavior was natural and all too frequent for these two big boys. Everyone was now laughing, not surprised at the behavior of the picnic’s entertainment section. Soon others joined in, football turning into wresting, men turning into boys. Can’t beat um, join um. Starsky and Hutch were lost: in each other, in life, love, partnership. Even the children wanted a piece of this action and weren’t about to miss out. Soon Starsky and Hutch were attacked and covered by the little cheering section. It was a day for all, but it was essentially their day.

~~~

And I tell you, how easy it feels to be with you,
how right your arms feel around me.
But I — I rehearsed those words just late last night
when I was thinkin’ about how right tonight might be.
~C.S.

By six pm, stomachs were full, muscles were sore, children were napping, and the party was breaking up.

“Starsky, you gonna tell me what the surprise is? Why we had to drive separately? Not ashamed of my car, are you?”

“Ashamed? ‘Ashamed’ would be an understatement. I just value my life a bit too much to get into that mousetrap any more than I have to. I have a reputation to protect.”

“It’s a classic, Starsk! You should be proud to be seen in that ‘mousetrap,’ as you call it. So where we headed?”

“Why don’t you stop by my place, we can grab a shower, then head to Huggy’ s.”

“Sounds like a plan. Maybe this way I can get my favorite shirt back,” Hutch mumbled.

“What?”

“Oh, nothin’, Starsk. I’ll follow you. See you there.”

“Okay, don’t mess around; we got big plans tonight.” And he’s not getting that shirt back. I need that for my date on Tuesday. Thank God for a partner with good taste in clothing.

“You gonna tell me what these ‘big plans’ are?”

“Nope.”

Hutch smiled and shook his head. He had a good idea of what his partner might be up to. Huggy’s — his birthday tomorrow — separate cars. “Okay, see ya there; let’s get going.”

Each took off in their separate prized vehicles, Hutch being proud of his ‘mouse trap,’ Starsky being prouder of his ‘candy cane’ as Hutch had teased him about.

~~~

Traffic was heavy and somewhere along the route to Starsky’s place, they got split up. Starsky took a short cut, leaving Hutch to face the crowded freeway. Starsky still had to wrap Hutch’s present and would be glad to get home a bit in front of the birthday boy.

~~~

C’mon, Hutch, what’s taking ya so long? That mousetrap leave you sit? Starsky checked his watch, and then checked his watch with the clock in the kitchen to make sure it was right. Hutch should have been there by now. Starsky turned on the local radio station and started jamming with Mick and his Stones, waiting for his late partner.

“We interrupt this program for a special bulletin. Please avoid highway 12 near exit 4. A pedestrian bridge has collapsed, trapping several vehicles. Two people are known dead. Many are trapped in their vehicles under the collapsed bridge. Emergency medical personnel have reported several casualties. No names can be release at this time. Again, please avoid highway 12 near exit 4.”

“Hutch!” My God, he was going that way; he could have driven right into it. Maybe he’s helping with the casualties? Maybe he went past that area before the bridge collapsed? Maybe he stopped off at his place for something? Maybe he’s stuck in traffic behind the mess. Maybe — Damn!

Starsky called Venice Place. No answer. He called the station to radio his partner. Hutch had his radio turned off. He called the emergency rooms. No information was being released. He grabbed his keys and headed for Highway 12.

Chapter 2

Traffic was backed up, people swearing, making obscene gestures with their hands, and honking horns. Starsky put the mars light on and raced up to the scene on the shoulder of the highway. A large crowd had gathered and emergency medical personnel, rescue units, and police cars surrounded the disaster.

They tried to stop him. “Hey, you can’t go up there! Only authorized personnel allowed.”

Starsky flashed his badge, ready to flash his gun if necessary.

“Sorry, Officer. Be prepared; it’s a pretty ugly scene.”

Starsky ran past the annoying deterrent and under the yellow tape marking off the area. If Hutch was there, he had to know and had to act. Please Hutch, don’t be there! The Stones song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” kept repeating itself over and over in his head. Starsky didn’t get what he wanted. He saw the back of Hutch’s car and immediately recognized the license plate. No other part of the car was visible. He knew it was Hutch who was trapped. “One of the deceased” was not even a thought.

~~~

And tomorrow we might not be together.
I’m no prophet, Lord, I don’t know nature’s ways.
~ C.S.

“Hey, what about the driver of this car?” Starsky demanded answers from the closest EMT.

“We haven’t been able to get him out yet, sir.”

“What the hell are you doing? That’s my partner under there!”

“We’ve been trying, sir, but we can’t get to him. If he’s alive–”

“HE IS ALIVE! I WANT SOMETHING DONE! NOW!”

It took two men to pull the near-hysterical detective off of the innocent EMT. He was angry and scared.

“Listen, I’m sorry — really. I have to know how he’s doing. Has anyone spoken to him?”

“We yelled to him, got as close as we could. There was no answer, no sound. If he’s — he may be unconscious.”

Starsky got down on hands and knees, crawling under the debris, getting as close to Hutch as he could. No one was going to stop him. If the shattered parts of the bridge collapsed even more — did any more damage — at least they would go together. Either way, he knew his place was with Hutch.

“Hutch? I’m coming, buddy. You’re not alone in here. I’m on my way.” The response he had hoped for did not come. “Hutch. You hang on you hear me? I’ll be beside you real soon.”

Starsky continued on his mission to reach his buried friend, finally finding what he was searching for. Hutch was lying on the ground, debris covering his unmoving body. Somehow, the impact or the way the bridge hit Hutch’s car threw him outside of the partially crushed vehicle. Starsky inched his way toward his partner, crawling flat on his stomach to get as close as he could.

“Hutch, I’m here, babe — right beside you. You’re gonna be okay.” Starsky was relieved to see the rise and fall of the chest that held the other half of his heart. He did as thorough of an examination as he could under the circumstances, and didn’t detect any broken bones. Hutch’s legs were covered with mesh and stone from the bridge; he began to moan quietly when Starsky touched the bloody forehead and tried to pull away.

“Don’t move, Hutch. Try not to move, buddy; you gotta stay still.”

Disoriented, Hutch tried to get up.

“No, Hutch. You must not move! Can you understand me, buddy?”

“Uhh–”

“S’okay, you got a bump on that hard head of yours.”

Hutch reached up toward his head, yelping at the pain in his arm. He put his arm back down. “Mmm — My head–”

“Yeah, looks like you hit it pretty hard. You hurt anywhere else, Hutch?”

“What happened? I can’t move — I wanna get outta here.”

“We’ll be out soon, Hutch. Just gotta stay still for now.”

“Why? Want out — now.” A sudden flash of panic crossed his face.

“You were in an accident, Hutch. A bridge collapsed and your good luck put you right underneath it. They’re working to get you out now. Just try to relax.”

“Relax? You’re tryin’ to be funny, right, Starsk?” Hutch started to cough.

“I’m doin’ my best.”

“Starsky! Why are you here? We didn’t drive together. Are you hurt?” Hutch reached for his partner.

“I’m okay. I came looking for you. Can’t let you out of my sight for a minute.” Starsky gingerly grabbed Hutch’s hand and held on tight. “Your legs hurt anywhere, Hutch? Can you wiggle your toes?”

“Quit kidding around — of course, I can move my toes. Can you move your toes? I can wiggle my toes better than you can wiggle yours any day. I can even move my fingers and can even wink at you if you want me too.”

“Who’s tryin’ to be funny now?” Starsky repeated what happened and tried to orient his partner, reminding him how important is was that he not try to move. One piece of dust goes the wrong way and he knew that what was left of the bridge — pieces — could grant them both a quick departure from this world.

Chapter 3

“Starsky!”

Dobey? Who called Dobey?

“Yeah, Cap’n. How’d you know–?”

“It’s all over the news. Hutch’s license plate was reported as one of the trapped cars. He okay?”

“He’s a bit out of it, got a knock on his head, but he’s gonna be all right. I don’t think anything’s broken. I’m just tryin’ to keep him still until they can get him out. How much longer, Cap’n? Can you find out what’s going on? Please.”

The area was noisy with medical personnel and rescue crews working frantically to free those detained under the fallen bridge.

“Everyone else is clear; they’re getting some equipment so they can make sure Hutch — and now you, too — get out safely. Hutch’s car is caught in a tricky spot. What are you doing in there anyway, Starsky?”

“Cap’n–”

“I know. Where else would you be? Can’t let the two of you out of my sight for a minute! Can’t do anything simple — gotta make headlines all the time?”

“We love you, too, Cap’n,” Starsky said softly as he turned all of his attention back to the still-lethargic half of their partnership.

“What’s Dobey doin’ here?”

“You’re a star, buddy. Everyone’s comin’ to see you. Let’s just hope they get to ‘see’ you soon. It won’t be long now, Hutch. I hear ’em working. Hey? What do you want for your birthday?”

“What? I forgot — you had something planned for tonight, didn’t you? I–”

Starsky leaned over Hutch, protecting him as much as the tight area would allow as debris and dust started to fall.

“Starsk!”

“Shh — keep still and quiet. Don’t want to offend the rescue Gods, now, do we? You okay?”

“I’m all right. You shouldn’t be in here, Starsk. Why don’t you get out while you still can? I’ll see ya out there in a little while.”

“Nice try, buddy, but I’m not going anywhere without my number one good luck charm.”

“But Starsk–”

“No ‘buts’; I’m not leaving you, Hutch. I don’t care if it takes hours or days; I’m not going anywhere without you. You need me here, anyway. Who’s gonna entertain you if I’m not here?”

~~~

Anticipation, anticipation, is making me wait,
It’s keeping me waiting — and tomorrow —
~C.S.

Two hours later, the rescue crew was still at work, trying to get to the two men, one willingly, another unwillingly, caught under the remains of the bridge.

“What the hell are you guys doing out there?” Starsky shouted as quietly as he could. He fought to keep Hutch awake, sure he had, at the very least, a concussion. He was able to get to the handkerchief in his back pocket and wiped at the growing perspiration on the blond man’s face and neck.

“Starsk? Why can’t they get us out? It’s hot — there’s not enough air in here. I need to move. You go out first then let me try. I need air. Please.”

“Try to relax, Hutch. There’s plenty of air here. Try not to panic; we’ll be out soon. Hey? You never did tell me what you wanted for your birthday.” Starsky was feeling anxiety building, too, but would not let Hutch see that. He needed to talk about something, anything to get his mind off the situation at hand, just as much as Hutch did. “So?”

“So — what?”

“So, what do you want for your birthday?”

“A large open space with lots of air and a few aspirin. Maybe some water.”

“We’re gonna get you that, buddy, but ya gotta want something else?”

“I want you to get out of here. I want you to be safe. That’s the best gift I could ever get — knowing you’re okay, Starsk.” Hutch looked at his brave partner, tears threatening to fall. He was scared.

Starsky knew Hutch meant what he said. “How’d I get so lucky to get stuck with you, huh? You’re gonna have the best birthday yet — I promise.” Starsky moved his hand slowly through the soft blond hair, now damp with perspiration. Night was rapidly falling, making it harder to see. Making it easier to pray.

“Starsk?”

“Yeah?”

“I feel sick.”

“Just hold on, buddy, we’ll be out of here soon. Hold onto me okay?” Starsky tightened his grip on his partner’s hand.

“Hours ago — I thought we’d be out of here hours ago? I don’t want to be in here anymore.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to be in here in the first place. I can think of better places to be, how ’bout you?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why don’t you tell me about your grandfather’s farm? Must have been a real nice place?”

Hutch knew what his friend was doing and went along with it. “It was nice, Starsk. I wish you could’ve seen it the way it was back then. There was one field after another and–”

“Go on, tell me more, buddy. Didn’t you used to ride horses there?”

“Yeah — they were pretty. Betsy — she was my favorite.”

“Favorite girlfriend or horse?”

“Horse.” Hutch was beyond picking up on the attempted humor.

“I bet she was pretty. Was she your horse, Hutch?”

“Yeah — grandpa took care of her for me ’til I could visit again — I NEED AIR STARSK! I CAN’T THINK — PLEASE! WE’RE NOT GONNA GET OUTTA HERE, ARE WE?”

Chapter 4

Starsky put his arm around Hutch’s chest and rubbed his trembling arm. “Yes, we are. Don’t you go giving up on me. It’s gonna be all right, I promise you, Hutch. Trust me, okay?”

“I do — you know I do, Starsk. I don’t feel real good, though.” Hutch turned his head to the side as far as he could and heaved.

I gotta get him outta here– “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE!!! MY PARTNER’S SICK! WE’VE BEEN IN HERE FOR HOURS! Y’ALL TAKIN’ A BREAK? DID YA GO HOME FOR THE NIGHT? YOU DON’T GET US OUT SOON, I’M GONNA TRY TO GET US OUT MYSELF!!!”

As if yelling was all it took, they were granted their freedom — almost. “Sorry, sir, we had to make sure the bridge was braced securely. We couldn’t take a chance with your lives. We’ve got it now. You’ll be out in a couple minutes.”

The rescue captain was telling the truth. Within minutes, Hutch had been extricated and delivered into the hands of the paramedics.

“Okay, Detective Starsky, we’ll have you out with your partner in a couple more minutes. Try not to move, we don’t want to take any chances.”

“Just take care of my partner. Make sure he’s okay first.”

Starsky did stay as immobile as he could. His trembling body would not obey his commands to relax. He reached for the hand offered to him by one of the rescue team’s staff. He almost made it before more debris began to fall. The last thing he felt was something heavy and very hard hitting his back. This was the last thing he remembered, too. He passed out cold.

~~~

The medics worked quickly to assess their blond patient, noting that he did have a concussion and multiple contusions. Fortunately, no broken bones were found. Hutch had become disoriented and combative with the medics, calling over and over for Starsky, refusing to let the medics take him to the hospital without his partner. Overhearing one of the medics telling another that more of the bridge had collapsed and that there was no response from Starsky caused panic to rise in Hutch’s heart. He began to fight the paramedics with any strength he had left.

“Let me go! My partner is under that bridge! I need to get to him! He could be hurt, damn it!”

It took three medics but within minutes, they had the anxious, combative blond restrained. He had been totally immobilized. The medics could not be sure of the extent of Hutch’s injuries and could not take any chances of their aggressive patient hurting himself even more. They could not administer anything to calm the blond either, since he did have a head injury. Hutch struggled against his restraints until he wore himself out. All he could do now was pray that his partner was okay. He continued to beg anyone near him for information on his partner as he was reduced to tears. He knew Starsky could have been killed under that bridge.

“Please — somebody tell me something — tell me he’s okay!”

The medics just told him to relax, and that the rescue crew was working to free his partner. They had no information to give him at the moment. Hutch’s panic rose even further when he heard the ambulance sirens go on and felt himself being driven away.

“NOOOO! Please — don’t take me away! I can’t leave him! STARSKY!”

“Mr. Hutchinson! You’ve got to calm down and stay still! They’re doing everything they can to get your friend out of there. We’ll tell you what we know as soon as we hear anything.”

Hutch couldn’t hear anything that was being said to him. All he could think about was Starsky and how he might not make it, all because Starsky was trying to save him. He vaguely heard voices fading out, getting further away as a strange feeling overcame him and everything turned dark.

“Hurry up, Frank!” The medic with Hutch yelled to the driver. “His blood pressure is too high, and he just lost consciousness. He needs a doctor fast!”

~~~

Dobey stayed at the scene and watched nervously as the rescue crew continued their attempt to free his other detective. One of the smaller medics was able to carefully inch his way toward the trapped man, finding him unconscious, pulse fast and breathing shallow. Starsky was rapidly going into shock.

The medic held an oxygen mask over Starsky’s face. It was all he could do. The medic strapped the oxygen mask over Starsky’s head before he was given orders to crawl back out, his superior stating that it was too dangerous for him to stay with the injured man.

Two more hours passed as they tried to free the dark-haired detective from under the collapsed bridge. Starsky had moments of lucidity, but remained mostly unconscious. When he did wake, he weakly called for Hutch, not remembering that Hutch had been taken to safety. He tried to move, but found he was too weak, and let out a weak cry as the pain in his back made itself known. He welcomed the darkness that once again consumed him.

The medics stayed close and the rescue team worked frantically as the bridge began to voice its own weakness and started making creaking noises. Time was running out and the rescue crew was very concerned as the smell of gas from the crushed cars began to fill the area. Most of the onlookers had been removed, but there were still some curious spectators lurking. The hardworking professionals were too busy trying to save Starsky’s life to notice that one of the viewers had thrown a lit cigarette into the debris. In minutes, smoke was filling the area and fire could be seen about 15 feet from Starsky’s weak body.

Chapter 5

Dobey wiped at the perspiration increasing on his brow. The activity surrounding the area increased as fire engines appeared and began to quickly fight the fire. He knew Starsky didn’t have much time left. The fire rescue team would have to work fast. He thanked God that Hutch had been taken away earlier, for he knew Hutch would be hysterical by now.

“Hey! You gotta get him out of there! The fire… it’s spreading.”

“We know, sir. We’re doing the best we can,” one of the medics said calmly to the highly stressed captain.

The oxygen that was assisting Starsky was cut due to the fire. It was too dangerous and they didn’t want an added explosion, knowing that would end the trapped detective’s life for sure.

“Huu–” Starsky called weakly for his partner. He knew he was in trouble as a black cloud of smoke began to cover him, and he felt heat getting closer to him. “Help.” It was a plea. He reached forward, hoping someone would pull him out of the prison he’d been stuck under for hours. His weak hand fell and he closed his eyes as the smoke burned them and caused stinging tears to stain his soot-covered face. Breathing was becoming harder and harder and he felt as though his lungs were shattering. The last thing he felt was the searing pain of the fire against his body. He screamed as the fire hit him and lastly cried, knowing he was going to die a horrible death. His last thought was that he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Hutch.

The rescue crew moved in full force yelling orders and acting quickly.

“GET HIM OUT OF THERE NOW!”

“BUT HE COULD HAVE A SPINAL INJURY.”

“WE’LL WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER. HE’S NOT GOING TO HAVE A LIFE IF WE DON’T GET TO HIM NOW!”

One of the onlookers acted without waiting, crawling under the falling debris and through the smoke, pulling Starsky to freedom. The medics took control as soon as he was freed, moving him to safety, cutting the charred clothing off of the unconscious man’s body, starting IV’s, assessing his wounds and respiratory status, and placing an oxygen mask over his face with 100% oxygen. He was loaded into a ready ambulance that moved with force in an attempt to save the badly injured detective.

~~~

Hutch had been admitted to a regular room at Memorial Hospital. Other than a mild concussion, a huge headache, incredibly sore muscles, and a few abrasions, he was in stable condition. Against the doctor’s better judgment, he ordered a mild sedative for the hysterical detective. Hutch had been fighting since he was taken from the scene that held his partner. He fought the medics, then the emergency room nurses and doctors, and then the nurses on the floor to which he was admitted. He desperately needed to know Starsky’s condition and wanted to be with him. A jacket vest was placed around him and tied to the bottom of the bed to keep him from trying to escape. Worn out, along with the sedative, Hutch fell into a restless slumber.

~~~

Starsky was rushed into the emergency room and taken directly to a room specially designed for burn victims. His body was burned with second-degree burns on his right flank area, with a few smaller areas being diagnosed as third degree burns on his right hip and thigh. He was also suffering from smoke inhalation and in shock.

Nurses scurried around their patient, taking blood samples, measuring urine output, initiating more monitors and making sure his airway was open, and that he was getting enough oxygen, along with starting additional IV’s to hydrate him from the fluid loss caused by the burns. His clothing had all been removed and a sterile white sheet was now his only covering.

Anyone entering the room took extra precautions, wearing masks, sterile gowns and gloves, hoping to prevent infection to the burned man. Special burn pads were placed next to the raw areas so the sheet would not stick to them, causing any more damage. An emergency bronchoscopy was performed to assess what damage, if any, was done to the airway. The bronchoscopy revealed a few small areas of ulceration with minor bleeding, but Starsky was able to breathe on his own. Fortunate for Starsky and the nurses, he was unconscious when the nurses began the bronchial suctioning, which would continue to keep his airway open and allow him sufficient ventilation. X-rays showed that he also had a fractured pelvis. He was taken to intensive care, being listed in “guarded” condition.

Chapter 6

Captain Dobey and Huggy were dozing in the waiting room of the intensive care unit when they heard a familiar voice. It was the next morning.

“Hutch? What are you doing here? You’re a patient here. Why are you dressed?”

“Calm down, Cap’n. I signed myself out. I have to see Starsky. They told me at the nurse’s station that he’s in guarded condition. God, Cap’n, this is all my fault! He’s hurt because he was trying to save me. He shouldn’t be here. I wanted him to leave me, but he wouldn’t. Damn it!”

“Hutch, sit down, son, before you fall down. You’re not looking so hot. You okay?” Huggy was now awake and agreeing with the captain.

“I’m okay. The nurse told me I could see Starsky as soon as they were finished working on him. Said it would be about ten minutes.”

“You want me to go with you, Hutch?”

“No. Thanks, Cap. I want to be alone with him. I need to give him hell alone.” Hutch faked a small smile, and took a chair, hoping the jackhammers in his head would take a break.

“Detective Hutchinson?”

Hutch stood immediately. “Yes?”

“You can see Detective Starsky now. Come on; I’ll take you to his room.”

Hutch nodded to his captain and Huggy, letting them know he was okay. If he looked anything like he felt, he knew it had to be pretty bad.

~~~

Hutch was put in a sterile gown, gloves, and face mask. I already got him hurt badly, and now I could hurt him worse. Hutch was starting on a one-way road to guilt.

“Detective Hutchinson? Are you okay, sir?”

“Yeah, can I see him now?”

Hutch was let into the sterile room and went to the bed that held his partner.

“Starsk? Can you hear me, buddy?” Hutch took his partner’s hand carefully and looked at all the equipment and medical supplies that were kept near the bedside. Starsky did not wake up, so Hutch took a seat in the hard and uncomfortable chair that the nurse put there for him. His lower lip quivered as he tried to fight the tears from falling. He was unsuccessful… the tears won and freely covered his face.

“Hutch?” It was but a whisper.

Hutch felt the grip on his hand tighten as he heard his partner cry out loudly.

“Starsky? What is it, buddy? I’ll get the nurse! Hang on… hang on.”

The nurse was already at Starsky’s bedside knowing exactly what the problem was. Starsky was in pain, severe pain from the burns and the broken pelvis. “Mr. Starsky? David? Talk to me. Are you in a lot of pain?”

Hutch thought that was a stupid question, and wasn’t handling seeing Starsky in so much pain. “Of course, he’s in pain! Can you give him something?”

“Hutch… it hurts… everything hurts. Help me.” Starsky’s throat was raw and his voice was witness to it. He was trembling and hoarse, every word came out as a strained whisper.

“It’s okay, Starsk, the nurse is getting you something for the pain. Try to relax. Hold onto my hand as tight as you need to.” Hutch looked away from Starsky’s face. “I’m sorry, Starsk. I’m so sorry.”

The nurse was back in a flash with a shot of Morphine.

Starsky just closed his eyes, tears escaping from under the long lashes.

“Miss? I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell earlier. He was just in so much pain. I kinda lost it, I guess.”

“It’s okay, Mr. Hutchinson, I understand. I’d yell too if I saw my best friend in pain. It’s okay. Oh, and you can call me Heather.”

“Thanks, Heather. I’m Ken. I really am sorry.”

Heather gave a sympathetic smile and left the two men have some privacy. The pain medication had already begun to take effect, and Hutch thought that Starsky had fallen asleep when he heard the weak, hoarse voice mumble something.

Hutch leaned in close. “What was that, Starsk? Don’t strain your voice too much. I’m right here and not going anywhere.”

“Happy birthday, buddy.”

“Starsk.”

“I’m sorry, Hutch.”

“Aw, Starsk, you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry you’re here. Sorry you were hurt. Sorry you’re in pain. This shouldn’t have happened. Please forgive me, Starsk. You’re only here because of me.” Hutch put his head down in defeat and shame. He felt a warm hand stroke his cheek.

“Hey… don’t cry, Hutch. I wouldn’t have been anywhere else… no matter what.”

Hutch started to hiccup, not trusting his voice to respond just yet; everything that had happened came crashing in on him.

“C’mon buddy. You think I need more fluids? Look at all these IV’s!”

Hutch couldn’t hide a chuckle. “Starsk, this isn’t funny. You’re really hurt, and still trying to make me feel better.”

“I’m just sorry I ruined your birthday, Hutch. I’ll make it up… to you… prom… promise.”

Hutch softly brushed the curls from his partner’s forehead as the pain medicine took over and he fell asleep. “You sleep, buddy. I’ll be here if you need anything.”

Chapter 7

Hutch felt a hand on his shoulder, waking him from a light sleep. Huggy handed him a cup of coffee and held a duffel bag.

“Hi, Hug.” Hutch ran his hands through his tangled hair and then over his face, stretching, trying to fully wake up. Falling asleep in the uncomfortable chair beside Starsky’s bed didn’t help the pounding in his head or the aches in his body.

“You okay, Blondie?”

“Huh? Yeah. I’m okay.”

“I went to your apartment… got ya some clean clothes.”

“What would we do without you, Huggy?”

“God only knows! Someone’s gotta look over the two of you. Ya gotta way of finding trouble, both of you. How’s Starsk doing?”

“He’s been sleeping a lot. They’re giving him some pretty strong pain medicine. He shouldn’t be here, Hug. He should have left me where I was… now he’s hurt.” Hutch looked away, fighting the moisture that continued to plague his eyes.

“Hey, what would you have done if you knew Starsky was trapped and in danger?”

“I… well, I…”

“You don’t have to say it, bro, you know as well as I do that you would have done anything to help him. He was only doing what came natural to him… helping you.”

“But now… God, Hug, he’s been through so much… been in the hospital more than any man should have to… been through so much pain. I’d take it all for him if I could.” A single tear fell as Hutch moved closer to the still form in the bed and took its hand in his own.

“Hey, he’s gonna be okay. He was lucky, Hutch. So were you.”

Hutch nodded. “Yeah… it just doesn’t get any easier seeing him hurting… it just seems so unfair.”

“I know… I know. Hey, you’re another year older today, Blondie! Happy birthday.”

“Don’t… that doesn’t matter. You know… he was in so much pain and still wished me a ‘happy birthday’.”

“Well, it matters to him, Hutch. You know, Starsk had a big party planned for you last night. He was planning it for weeks. Here, I thought I’d bring the gifts he got you to the hospital. I knew he’d want you to have them.” Huggy handed Hutch a couple of packages wrapped in paper from the comic section of the newspaper.

Even though Hutch and Huggy were nearly whispering, Starsky began to stir, a soft moan escaping. Hutch put the packages aside and stood at the head of the bed.

“Starsk? You need something more for pain? Can I do anything for you? You want some water?”

Starsky didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh at Hutch’s mother hen-ness or cry because of the pain. What came out was some of both. “Hutch… are you okay?”

“Terrific, buddy. Don’t you have that backwards? I should be asking you if you’re okay. Are you?”

“Am I what?” Starsky was still feeling a bit disoriented from the Morphine.

“Okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Starsky whispered, eyes moist. “I’ve had enough fun. Can we go home now?”

“Well… not yet, buddy. You know, you’re keeping the doctors and nurses in business here?”

“Huh?” Starsky reached for the dressings on his right side and thigh.

“Nothin’, buddy.” Hutch caught Starsky’s hand before he could disturb the carefully placed dressings. Starsky didn’t fight him, but held onto Hutch’s hand.

“What? Why… the sheets are wet.”

“You got burned a bit, Starsk. The dressings are there to help.”

The last statement seemed to spark Starsky’s memory of what happened. “Hutch! Are you okay? Really?” He winced and a small cry escaped when he tried to reposition himself in bed.

“Hey… calm down. I’m okay. You’re gonna be all right, too. You need to get better so I can yell at you.”

“Yell at me?”

“Yeah. You shouldn’t have been under that bridge, Starsk. You could have been killed!”

Starsky closed his eyes, contemplating his response. “Hutch, you could have been killed, too. I couldn’t let you. I wanted to help.” Starsky turned his head away from Hutch, trying to hide the tears that came along with the sudden flood of emotion.

“You did help. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I just don’t want you hurt anymore. Starsk. I came so close to losing you last year after Gunther… and I get scared. I couldn’t bear losing you… I’d rather lose myself.” Hutch rested his aching head on the mattress next to their still joined hands.

Huggy sat the bag on the floor next to Hutch’s chair and left to give his friends some privacy. His heart ached for them both. He knew that when one of them hurt, they both hurt.

Chapter 8

After Hutch was sure that Starsky was asleep, he went to the men’s room to get cleaned up and change into the clothing Huggy brought in for him. When he got back to Starsky’s room, he looked at the packages his friend had gotten him for his birthday. He looked at Starsky who was still sleeping, and picked up one of the packages. Unable to resist, he opened the first one. It was a small box and it held a gift certificate to one of Hutch’s favorite health food stores. He marveled at his friend who knew him better than he knew himself.

He took the second package, a bit larger than the first. He opened it quickly, finding a new sweat suit, the one he had shown Starsky the last time they passed Hutch’s favorite sports shop. Aw Starsk, you shouldn’t have. He felt the soft material, holding it against his cheek. I love it, Starsk.

Finally, he came to the last package, feeling that it held something special. He held it in his hands, reading the comic strip it was wrapped in, smiling softly. Upon opening it, he found a picture frame that held a picture of him and Starsky. It was a picture taken about a month ago at Huggy’s. They were playing pool and in the picture, they each had one arm around each other, each holding a glass of beer up to each other with their free hand. Both were smiling. Hutch remembered that night. They had been celebrating the one-year anniversary of Starsky’s recovery from Gunther’s shooting. Although the room was full, the only people they were aware of were each other.

Starsk… this is so special. I love it and have just the place for it. Hutch held the picture close to his heart as he checked on his sleeping partner, realizing his eyes were moist. Thanks, buddy, no matter what kind of trouble we’re in, or what the circumstances, you always know… are always making me happy. We’re gonna celebrate for real when we get you out of this hospital. I hope it won’t be long.

~~~

Hutch stayed at Starsky’s side almost continuously for the next few days. Starsky had to endure hydrotherapy to remove the dead skin from the burns. Thankfully, there were not many areas of third degree burns and skin grafting was discussed for him in the future. The hydrotherapy was painful though, and although Starsky tried to be strong, Hutch could see the terrible pain his partner was in and his exhaustion after each treatment. He was given pain medicine, but it didn’t always help.

Sometimes Starsky would beg Hutch to take him away from the hospital and all of the treatments and therapies. “Please, Hutch… make ’em stop… hurts too much.”

“I know… but it is helping. Doc said you might only need one more treatment.” Hutch grasped his partner’s hand tightly.

“I’m sorry, Hutch. Don’t mean to be a baby about this. It just really hurts, and I want to go home. I’m tired of the therapy, too. I wanna be able to walk… be normal. I want to go back to work. How am I gonna be able to cover your back like this!”

“Starsk… it all takes time. I don’t like it, either, buddy. It should be me, not you.” Hutch bowed his head, once again guilt clawing at him.

“Hutch… I’m sorry… Don’t do this to yourself. You would have done the same thing for me, and you know it. So stop it! You’re right; everything is going to be okay. I’m just grouchy and tired of being here… and… you’re looking so tired. You’ve been spending all of your time here with me. You need to get a good night’s sleep in a real bed, Hutch. I’ll be okay… honest.” Starsky ran his fingers through the blond silk covering the bowed head.

Hutch looked up, blue eyes contacting with blue eyes. What he saw was not blame, but love and caring. “How’d I get so lucky to have you for my best friend?”

“Just call it fate. You got lucky. We’re both lucky Hutch. Do me a favor, huh? Get out of here. Get some sleep. I’ll see ya in the morning, okay?”

Hutch nodded. “Okay… early in the morning.”

Their eyes held, keeping the special moment alive, each knowing they were very much loved. No words needed to be spoken.

~~~

The day finally arrived when Starsky was set free. It was hard to tell which of the detectives were more excited. Hutch insisted on staying with Starsky at his apartment until he could manage better, without complaint from his new roommate. The burns were healing nicely as was the broken pelvis. He was sent home with the usual list of prescriptions and instructions, and a walker, which he hated, but had no other choice but to use if he wanted to get around. Together they escaped from the hospital grounds and went home.

“God, Hutch!” Starsky took a deep breath. “It feels so good to be home! My own bed! My own TV! My own food! We got any food, Hutch?” Starsky realized he hadn’t been home for a while, and knew that anything left in the refrigerator had to be dangerous by now. “Think I’m gonna watch some TV.”

“I think not. Later maybe, but now you’re going to bed. Doctor’s orders and partner’s orders. You need your rest, pal.”

“But, Hutch.”

“No ‘buts’… c’mon, I’ll tuck you in.”

Starsky knew from previous incidents that it was futile to argue with his over-protective partner. Even though he didn’t always agree, he knew that Hutch was most always right on with the care he gave so unconditionally to him. “Okay… but only a short nap. I’m not that tired, Hutch.”

Starsky was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. Hutch covered his sleeping patient and sat on the side of the bed for a while; thankful he could be here for him, wanting to be close. Weren’t tired, huh, buddy?

END???