I Remember

709

Paul muses on the past.

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God, I was a stupid kid back then

Big city, little man.

The first time I saw you,

The sun had just come out from behind a cloud

And it backlit you better than any lighting tech has ever done since.

You glowed.

Your white-blond hair looked like a fiery halo.

Beautiful.

You were so damn beautiful.

Golden.

You were gold

Shiny and pure

Molten hot

I think that’s when I fell in love with you.

Right then.

That moment.

And I didn’t even know who you were.

I introduced myself, we went for a beer.

It was like I met the other half of me.

I can’t remember when I smiled more.

You took me under your wing

You taught me so much

And I taught you a thing or two as well

In those long nights,

Sharing a room

A bed

Love.

Two starving artists

Trying to make a go of our dreams

We thought we ruled New York

Laughing

We were just two dumb kids

We used

Were used

Grew up pretty fast.

When you left, I felt torn in two

Sporadic contact.

Never enough

A casting call for a cop show.

No clue who else was cast

Walking into that room

Seeing

YOU

Oh God, you, standing there looking at me

With happiness in your eyes

Still golden, still pure

Molten

You remembering

Just like I was

We NAILED those characters

Too bad we couldn’t have NAILED life as easily.

But for four years

I had you

Close

Closer.

It was heaven and it was hell.

Repressive

Toe the line

We had two trailers, one for each of us

We only used one, ninety percent of the time.

Do you remember the time we thought no one was on set?

And how that trailer was rocking so hard,

Stuff started falling off the shelves??

Oh God, that was a good memory

Wrestling over that last can of beer?

When I see you now

My heart beats stronger

And harder

My arms ache to pull you close

So much lost time

And finally you are in my arms

With a hug that hasn’t changed

Need, Love, Home

Always home in your arms.

Others around, conversing with them but

Focused on you.

With everything in me.

So many times

I searched and found the wrong thing

Or nothing.

If only the world had been a different place.

So, yes, I remember

Every. Damn. Thing.

Every second

Of love

Of you.

Of Thee and me.

Us