Possession

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After the events of “Sweet Revenge,” Starsky realizes he wants more from Hutch than his partner may be willing to give.

 

This story originally appeared in the zine, The Fix 19, published by April Valentine.

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Possession, adj. to dominate, occupy or control a person or feeling.

Los Angeles, 1980

STARSKY

David Starsky stood on the dimly lit street outside his partner’s apartment building. The curtains were open, but no light was visible from the second story window of Hutch’s living room. The darkened room probably meant that Hutch was still out on a date with Kathy, their mutual flight attendant friend, and he wouldn’t be home until the early hours of the morning. But, Starsky couldn’t afford to wait around for the dawn; he needed to talk to Hutch tonight, before he lost his nerve.

The longing that had brought him to Hutch’s building that night hadn’t dissipated; the craving for human contact, the need to be with another person. But, if Starsky was honest with himself, he didn’t want to be with just any person, only one would do. Hutch. Only his beautiful blond partner would fill the ache in his heart. The need just to be with Hutch was overwhelming. He had no control over his feelings for his partner sometimes, like tonight. It was as if some dark force had possessed him and he couldn’t escape it. This emotion controlled him, made him do crazy things, like stand outside Venice Place at two in the morning waiting for Hutch.

He looked up at the cloudless, moonlit sky and wished for the impossible; another night with Hutch. A night where he could touch him, kiss him, and express his love without fear or recriminations. He wanted everything his partner had to give him: his heart, his trust, and most importantly his love. But sometimes wishes didn’t come true. He was deluding himself to even think such thoughts.

Hadn’t the last month proven that?

Nothing had been right the since that night.

The night he had fucked Hutch.

With that disquieting thought, Starsky turned and walked down the street towards the Torino. He would wait for Hutch, as long as it took. He would remain here all night if he had to. They had too much to talk about and Starsky was through being patient.

Nearly an hour later, Starsky silently watched as his partner drove his battered wreck-of-a-car into the vacant space in front of his apartment building. Slowly, Hutch got out of the car and made his way inside. It took all the control Starsky had ever maintained not to rush out of his own car and run over to Hutch and confront him. But no, he’d wait awhile, gather his thoughts and then go to Hutch.

 

HUTCH

As Ken Hutchinson stepped into his darkened apartment, he flipped on the living room light switch, closing the door behind him with his foot. Removing his black jacket, he opened the closet door and hung it up. Next, taking off his gun holster, he added it to the closet on its hanger. Moving out of the foyer, Hutch took off his shirt, draping it over the back of the couch.

Taking a deep breath, Hutch exhaled slowly, trying to relieve the night’s stress. It had been a long night and he was grateful to be home. Normally a date with Kathy would have ended with him going back to her hotel room and them making love until she had to leave in the morning. It was a comfortable, casual arrangement they’d had over the years. But, the last couple of times Kathy had been in town on a layover, Hutch had begged off going back with her to the hotel, pleading tiredness from work.

Hutch knew Kathy sensed something in their relationship was amiss, but she hadn’t broached the subject, perhaps fearing if they discussed it their already precarious connection would crumble.

Dinner and dancing had seemed like a good idea when Kathy had called him yesterday. They’d met at their favorite Italian restaurant, La Dolce Vita, and everything had gone smoothly. Later, they’d danced away half the night at a little disco on Melrose, but something once again had held Hutch back from joining Kathy at her hotel room when she’d asked. The attractive brunette had looked puzzled, but she hadn’t pressed the issue.

What is up with you, Hutchinson? A beautiful lady asks you to take her to bed and all you want to do is go home? Nothing’s been right since-

Stopping in mid-thought, Hutch crossed the living room in swift, determined steps and turned on the record player. Almost immediately, the soft sounds of Bread filled the room. Next on the agenda was a cold beer; walking to the kitchen, he retrieved one from the refrigerator, while the words and voice of David Gates lulled him into a more peaceful mood.

Taking his drink, Hutch went out to the greenhouse and sat down in his favorite rattan chair. An unfinished game of chess stood on the patio table next to him.

Starsky and I never did finish that game…

Closing his eyes, Hutch tried to forget about the real reason Starsky and he hadn’t finished their chess match, just letting the music from the living room seep into his body. He was beginning to be relaxed, when a sudden noise broke his quiet, introspective solitude. Sitting up quickly, Hutch opened his eyes and listened intently again for the sound. A few seconds later, hearing nothing but the soothing sound from the stereo, he put it down to his suspicious cop’s mind working overtime. So, Hutch lay back in the chair once again.

Letting his mind drift, he thought about the changes in his life during the last year. First, almost a year ago: Starsky’s near-death shooting, his long recovery, and the many months of grueling physical therapy that had made the pair nearly inseparable. Over that time, Hutch and Starsky had worked on getting Starsky physically ready to rejoin the force, working out at the gym daily together. And all that work had paid off, when five weeks ago, Starsky had finally gotten word from the Review Board that he had passed all their evaluations and he could be out back on the streets and not chained to a desk doing paperwork.

Starsky and he were partners again, no more of Starsky being tied to a desk and Hutch out on the streets with a temporary partner. They had overcome all the unseemingly impossible obstacles and they’d done it together.

No, it was more than me and thee together again. We were so happy…then…that night.

Smiling, Hutch remembered their ‘celebration’ the night the Review Board had given Starsky the go-ahead. They’d gone to Huggy Bear’s to share the news and the black man had treated them to a bottle of champagne to help aid in their festivities. That bottle had led to a few more bottles and a few hours later, they had somehow made their way back to Venice Place — in a cab that Huggy called for them. As Hutch recalled it, it had been Starsky who’d been the one to suggest the chess game and Hutch had agreed. In fact, Starsky had stated he would bet a week’s salary he could kick Hutch’s ass at chess. Never one to be bested by his partner and inebriated enough not to let the challenge pass him by, Hutch readily agreed to the game.

So, at three in the morning, they started a game of chess. To think it had all began with a friendly game…

 

Five Weeks Earlier

HUTCH

Hutch moved the chess piece slowly into position. “Check!” He smiled at his partner in triumph.

Starsky grinned in reply and said in a slightly slurry voice, “It ain’t over yet, Blondie. ‘Member that.”

Grabbing the lukewarm beer he had near the chessboard, the third of the evening, he drank down the contents. Hutch rose from his chair, indicating the empty bottle and asked Starsky, “Want another?”

“Yeah, great,” was the reply.

Gathering up the discarded bottles from the table, the glasses clinking together, Hutch walked into the kitchen. Throwing away the empties, Hutch saw in the trashcan that Starsky and he had finished off the better part of a six-pack.

Moving a little slowly, Hutch grabbed two more beers from the refrigerator and went back to the greenhouse. Seeing that Starsky was deep in thought over his next move and hadn’t noticed his return, Hutch took the cold beer bottle and placed it up against his partner’s exposed neck. Starsky jumped out of his chair in response.

“Shit, Hutch, give a guy a heart attack.” Grabbing a beer out of Hutch’s outstretched hand, Hutch saw Starsky slightly sway as he tried to sit back down in his chair.

Seeing a perfect opportunity to have some more fun with Starsky, Hutch grabbed the back of the chair and pulled it right out from his partner’s back before he could completely sit down. Then, gravity did the rest.

Starsky wound up in a heap on the floor, on his ass. Hutch laughed at his partner’s outraged expression. Chuckling harder and harder, Hutch couldn’t stop himself from laughing, which pissed off Starsky even more if the pout on his face was any indication.

Suddenly, Hutch felt a hand on his right leg behind his knee and before he knew it, Hutch was on the floor next to Starsky. Both men looked at one another, and fell over laughing, too drunk too care.

Soon a wrestling match began, both of them going at full force, rolling around the greenhouse floor with their antics. It was Starsky who finally pinned Hutch down, sitting on top of his stomach so he couldn’t move. Hutch squirmed all he could, but he couldn’t break free.

Then, Hutch saw Starsky lean down so his face was only inches away from Hutch’s. The beer fumes and the pepperoni pizza from Starsky’s breath greeted Hutch when Starsky said, “You gonna say uncle?”

“Never, moron. Get off!”

“Nope. Just gonna sit here. Yep, could sit here all night, Hutch. Unless I hear an uncle.”

“Uncle this, asshole!” And with that, Hutch threw Starsky off him and in one of the moves he’d perfected wrestling in college, he quickly pinned the other man beneath him. Starsky didn’t know what hit him, but he quickly tried to reverse the situation. More wrestling ensued. However, Hutch remained in the dominant position.

Minutes later, gasping for breath, the two looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. But only a few seconds later, Starsky stopped grinning. At first Hutch didn’t realize what was wrong, but then he felt the beginnings of an arousal against his groin and it wasn’t his own erection — it was Starsky’s. Intense astonishment filled Hutch.

Shocked, Hutch stared into his partner’s blue eyes, bewildered. Starsky’s expression was equally confused. However, Hutch’s bafflement was quickly replaced with another emotion as he felt his own body responding to the warmth of Starsky’s.

The air around them crackled with electricity and neither moved. Then Hutch was astounded when Starsky’s eyes filled with desire. He’d seen that expression enough when Starsky turned on the charm for the ladies, but he’d never thought all that passion would be turned on him.

He heard a quick intake of breath and a soft, “Forgive me.”

Then Starsky’s lips took Hutch’s in a searing kiss which shook Hutch to his core.

Not a word was spoken, as they needed no words. Only Starsky’s touch mattered to Hutch in that moment. He moaned as Starsky’s hand slid down his neck, lightly brushing aside the hair at his nape. Turning fully into the embrace, Hutch then felt Starsky’s lips, teasingly at first, nibbling softly against his lower neck. Hutch bent his neck back to allow his partner better access and was rewarded with a low growl from the man beneath him.

Moments later, Hutch felt those lips leave his neck. Then Starsky passionately claimed his mouth in a toe-curling kiss. Love and desire soared within him as Starsky teased Hutch’s mouth open. Hutch curled his arms around Starsky’s torso, pulling their bodies closer together, all the while never breaking contact in their kiss.

Tongues met and dueled for dominance and Hutch taunted his partner by running his tongue over Starsky’s lips until the other man responded with barely repressed violence, crushing Hutch against his chest. Continuing to kiss Starsky, Hutch moved his hands in between their bodies to stroke his partner’s chest.

Hutch continued to caress Starsky’s chest and worked him into a fevered pitch of lust. Then, suddenly, that mouth was gone from his and Hutch moaned in despair. Wanting that pressure back, he pulled Starsky’s hair sharply to bring their faces — and mouths — back together. But that dark-haired demon who Hutch called his partner had moved away from his grasp, teasing Hutch by returning to his exposed neck to lick and gently bite.

Hutch sighed in frustration, but didn’t complain — at least Starsky was still touching him. Then, without warning, the love bites against his neck turned into something else: deep nips, each a little more hurtful than the next. To Hutch, it seemed like Starsky was determined to mark him, brand him, and it turned him on even more. His own erection now throbbed painfully in his pants and made Hutch realize this encounter was rapidly spinning out of control, leading to only one inevitable conclusion: Starsky would fuck him.

And Hutch hesitated at that thought. What’s going to happen to our friendship after this?

Not knowing the answer to that question, Hutch began to pull back from Starsky’s fevered embrace. Some of Hutch’s turmoil must have relayed itself to Starsky as he stopped suckling at his neck. Hutch turned his head and Starsky’s dark-blue eyes met his, desire flaring between them, but he quickly pulled away, breaking eye contact. Fear of the unknown was stopping him from taking the next step, refusing to le his primitive, uninhibited side take over. However, the hot burning glaze never left Starsky’s eyes and Hutch knew exactly what his partner wanted.

This intense, dark side of Starsky scared him and yet it was intoxicating at the same time. Hutch had seen this side of his partner only a few times before on the streets, this dangerous wild and slightly out of control Starsky was usually hidden beneath an exterior of schoolboy charm. But not tonight.

However, if he was truthful, he mostly feared the darkness this side of Starsky brought out in him; losing himself in his partner’s desire, letting Starsky take command, because once he did their relationship would forever be changed. No more pretending they were only friends, that the tension between was something other than sexual tension.

After tonight, he would belong to Starsky body and soul. That thought frightened him beyond belief, as his love for Starsky was overwhelming as it was, adding sex to the mix could destroy them.

Possessed…yes, he would be possessed totally by Starsky if they made love and they both knew it instinctively. Hutch thought they had sensed it from the very beginning. Which was why all the women in between hadn’t come close to what they meant to each other. Terry had come close for Starsky, but with her death, that dream of a normal life — a wife, children — had faded. Was he ready for that, to give up women totally? To just be with Starsky? Hutch knew from experience that once Starsky committed, he committed with every fiber of his being and there would be no turning back after tonight.

His emotions askew, Hutch tried to roll out of Starsky’s embrace, but those strong arms stopped him and Hutch’s panic grew.

 

STARSKY

Standing outside Hutch’s front door, Starsky realized for the first time in his relationship with Hutch that he was terrified to see his partner. His stomach was tied into knots with the thought of confronting Hutch about that night. He knew he had to do this, but still it didn’t stop the feeling of anxiety and worry that if he said or did the wrong thing his partnership with Hutch could end. Tonight.

Starsky steeled himself against his conflicting emotions and removed Hutch’s spare key from his pant’s pocket. Opening the door, he entered the apartment cautiously, not wanting to frighten Hutch.

Hutch did not greet him when he initially entered the apartment, so Starsky shut the door behind him and walked further into the residence. Hutch wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen, but as he looked around he could see a light coming from the greenhouse.

The greenhouse, where all this drama had begun. Starsky sighed, curling his arms around himself. He shivered as all the memories flooded back: the chess game, the wrestling match, and finally their lovemaking.

He knew he’d pushed Hutch too far that night. He’d only intended to kiss him, maybe jerk him off or give him a blow-job, but the moment Starsky had felt Hutch’s naked body against him, all reason left his mind. From then on he was driven by pure animal desire. A hunger lured him in and whispered in his ear to take Hutch and make his big, blond beauty truly his. And the only way to do that was fuck him — that would bind them together forever. That act was something Hutch would never forget that.

Starsky recalled those few moments of pure bliss of kissing Hutch before his partner tried to pull away in fear. Hutch was scared of the intense emotions flowing between them, Starsky instinctively knew that, but he’d pressed onwards, overwhelming Hutch with his passion, his fervor to be one with the other man.

It was too complicated. Looking back, Starsky knew he should have pulled away the moment Hutch had started to grow uneasy, but the demon controlling him had urged him forward.

He’d all but raped Hutch. He should feel guilty or remorseful, but he didn’t. He loved Hutch, wanted him desperately and he knew Hutch had wanted him too.

Remembering that feeling, Starsky let his mind drift back to that moment…

Starsky could feel Hutch’s withdrawal from him, first mentally, then physically as Hutch tried to pull away from their embrace. Hutch was starting to think rationally, wondering what he’d gotten himself into. Starsky knew Hutch was terrified of taking this next step, but he wasn’t. This step had been years in the making, and Starsky wasn’t going to let Hutch’s insecurities and fears stop them now, not when his heart’s biggest desire was within his grasp. Nothing would stand in the way of their being together, not even Hutch himself.

So, Starsky pulled Hutch into his arms once again, their faces only inches from each other, and whispered almost harshly, “Don’t think, just feel. Feel how much I need you, will always need you, Hutch.”

Starsky could see the hesitance in his partner’s eyes, but at the moment he didn’t care. Searing lust engulfed his senses, where all he could smell, feel, and hear was Hutch. He had to have him. Without thinking, Starsky kissed Hutch, his lips hot and bruising, his whiskered face abrading the softer, paler skin. He held Hutch in a bone-crushing grip, and then pulled the other man sideways onto the hard floor.

With one hand, he rid Hutch of the shirt that was keeping their upper bodies apart, and with the other hand removed his own offending garment. He could feel Hutch tremble against him as their naked chests touched. That motion stopped Starsky for a moment. Hutch was still scared.

Starsky felt tenderness pulling at him, threatening to pull him back from his intended action, and he fought off that unwanted feeling, instead stoking the fires of passion and carnal desire. He would have Hutch. He would possess his beautiful, blond partner; his heart demanded it and his body screamed for completion.

A raw cry escaped him and he took Hutch’s mouth again, his tongue driving deep and strong. Some distant voice of reason remained, warning him he should stop, that this was madness and he should let Hutch decide for himself if this was what he truly wanted. Yet, Starsky was powerless over the need consuming him.

Never had he so hungered to possess a person, to make love to someone, not even his precious Terry. And with Hutch it would be making love — not just an act of release, as it had been in his past with other men. He was on fire for his golden-haired friend. He heard Hutch’s gasps of arousal and glanced over to see Hutch’s blue eyes dilated with passion. But, the expression of utter trust and love on Hutch’s face was almost more than he could bear. Pulling away from those luscious lips, Starsky kissed down Hutch’s throat; then moving lower, taking a pale-rose colored nipple with his teeth.

Sucking on the protruding nub, Starsky flicked it with his tongue. Hutch’s response was to moan in delight, threading his fingers through Starsky’s hair and arching himself eagerly into his lover’s mouth.

Starsky started to move against Hutch, stroking their lower bodies together. That brazen invitation seemed to be too much for Hutch to take, as Starsky could feel Hutch’s fingers leave his hair and move to his hips, digging into them, silently giving permission for more. Starsky freed his mouth from the well-loved nub on Hutch’s chest and set about to plunder his partner’s mouth again. There was no resistance now from his lover; Hutch was also moving his body along with Starsky’s rhythm. Their groins undulating against one another inflamed them to the breaking point. Nothing in his life had thus far prepared him for the feelings of overwhelming love and contentment he felt at this moment. Hutch occupied every inch of his heart, his soul, and body. There was nothing he wouldn’t give up to keep him happy and safe and in his life — forever.

I need to feel Hutch naked against me. All of him.

Starsky fumbled with the zipper and button of Hutch’s corduroy pants. Then, he practically ripped the pants off the blond’s body, along with his underwear. Finally, Hutch was naked. It only took seconds for his own jeans to follow Hutch’s in their flight across the greenhouse floor.

So out of his mind, his control close to snapping, Starsky broke their mind-shattering kiss once again. He was lost in the fever to complete the act. Grasping Hutch’s body, he rolled them over so that Hutch was beneath him. Hutch offered no resistance. Taking his lover’s face into his shaking hands, before all sanity left him, Starsky regained enough control to quietly, but firmly ask, “Hutch, are you sure this is what you want?”

 

HUTCH

Pressed beneath Starsky on the floor, with the scent and taste of him inflaming all his senses, Hutch barely registered what Starsky had said. At this moment, Hutch didn’t care that his brain was screaming, “No, don’t do this, it will change everything!” All that he knew was that his body was on fire for Starsky and he wanted to make love with him.

Pushing his doubts aside, Hutch kissed him with all the pent up passion he had tried to hide from himself — and Starsky — for so long. All the anxiety that had consumed him before evaporated suddenly in his partner’s arms and he wasn’t frightened anymore. All the love he ever felt welled up inside of him and he listened to his heart instead of his head.

Hutch looked into the face of the man he loved with all his heart and knew there could only be one answer, “Yes.” He moaned, “Yes, this is what I want. I want to be with you. Please, Starsk.”

His lover acted quickly, turning Hutch onto his stomach, covering his body with his own. Knowing what he wanted, wanting it too, Hutch spread his legs and lifted his ass, his head resting on his arms. He felt Starsky drop to his knees behind him, felt the warmth of Starsky’s body at his ass. Then, a large, wet finger pressed into him and Hutch’s fear instantly returned. He’s never gone ‘all the way’ with another man before. Yes, he’d experimented in college with his freshmen roommate before meeting Vanessa, but that was only mutual hand-jobs and oral sex. Kid stuff really, and he knew that wasn’t what Starsky wanted tonight.

Startling him out of his musings, Hutch felt Starsky remove the finger from his ass and come back with two, stretching and scissoring his opening, preparing him for something much bigger. Hutch’s knees buckled as those fingers hit his prostate.

It hurt, yet it felt so good. Pleasure and pain at the same time.

The fingers continued to probe, to entice, and Hutch was lost. His own raging erection, pushed against his stomach and the floor, could stand no more teasing, and he came with a shout. After his orgasm, Hutch’s limbs felt lethargic and he could no longer support his own weight. He wound up collapsing on the floor, but that didn’t stop Starsky. Scooping up some of the precious liquid Hutch had spilled on the floor, he coated his own hard-on with the lubricant before grasping Hutch’s ass cheeks and pulling them apart.

Hutch heard a guttural cry as Starsky pushed his length slowly, but surely into Hutch’s body. Sensations overwhelmed Hutch and he felt the burning flash of pain as Starsky drove into him, followed by an incredible rush of love. His heart was beating madly, his breathing was rapid, and sweat poured off his body. And then came the pleasure of feeling Starsky move within him — it was beyond description.

He screamed at each thrust, pushing back against the hot shaft that impaled him, demanding that Starsky do it harder, faster. Hutch sobbed until his voice gave out as Starsky was driving him mad, possessing him like no other lover ever had and ever would again.

Then, he was hard again. The internal stroking had renewed his erection, Starsky’s pounding making him even more desperate for stimulation, for release. Never had he felt anything as glorious as this act, it was the joining of two hearts, souls, minds, and now bodies. Hutch silently pleaded with Starsky to end his torment by arching his back and moving in sync with Starsky’s thrusts.

Hutch cried out as he was forced to his knees again. His cock was hard and hot, pressing against his bare stomach. With Starsky’s heavy weight against his back, the still rock hard rod reamed up his ass and moving across his prostate with every stroke; Hutch knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He needed to come again. So, he clenched his inner muscles, silently entreating Starsky to end the torture.

Starsky did so with a shout that probably woke up most of his neighbors, yelling over and over, “Hutch,” until he collapsed on his partner’s back.

That was all it took for Hutch, feeling Starsky fill him up with his essence as he exploded too, his hot liquid showering his stomach and the floor again. As his body tumbled over the edge of rapture with Starsky still inside him, Hutch felt the darkness pulling him down into a black void of nothingness…

His last thought before he passed out was being possessed so totally by another person wasn’t as scary as he first dreaded.

 

The present

Los Angeles, 1980

The chessboard stared back at Hutch hauntingly, taunting him with the memories. Starsky fucked me. He fucked me and I enjoyed it.

No, I loved it.

Hutch’s cock stirred, hardening at the memory. When he’d woke up the morning after, he didn’t know what to say or do. Starsky ran out like the apartment was on fire and neither of them had the balls to talk about it since.

It’s no wonder I can’t get it up for Kathy, when all I want is Starsky inside me again.

Hutch thought Starsky hadn’t brought up the incident of their making love for the same reason he hadn’t — he was terrified. Frightened by the intense feelings and emotions that night had brought out.

You owned me that night, Starsk. Is that was scared you too? Is that why you can’t stand to be alone in the same room with me? Are you frightened it might happen again or more scared it won’t?

Looking away from the chessboard, Hutch started to turn around when he heard another noise. This time it sounded like someone moving within the apartment.

Moving cautiously, he headed for the sound, but before he could pass the threshold between the greenhouse and the living room, a silhouette filled the space.

It was Starsky; he’d know that shape anywhere.

Their eyes met and Hutch could see the hesitation in Starsky’s face, looking afraid to enter the ‘scene of the crime’ without his permission.

Hutch knew this had to end. The situation was ripping them apart.

And from the look on Starsky’s face, the time had come to confront what had happened between them.

Tonight the piper would be paid, one way or the other.