As Time Goes By

575

Watching Casablanca brings up some feelings for the guys…

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What the HELL was I thinking!  Dammit!! Why, why did I act on that impulse?  Why destroy everything- EVERYTHING I’ve had, everything that was most important to me?? For WHAT? A kiss? A touch? A look??…Dammit!!  I must have gotten carried away with that Casablanca movie!  What was I thinking? A romantic movie??  I should have suggested a war movie instead..  Shit!

“And when two lovers woo,

They still say “I love you”…on that you can rely

No matter what the future brings

 as time goes by…”

 

No…NO!!  I don’t regret it!  Not one bit.  Why should I hide my feelings?  Huh?  My best friend, my partner, my……Everything!!

Oh, Hutch.  Did I really screw things up this time?  Shit!

Starsky, stood by his car, left hand leaning on the hood, looking up at the night sky.  The stars… thinking, searching for what, an answer to why things have changed?  For him?  Maybe for Hutch too??  But, he wasn’t expecting the unexpected.  Hutch walking away from him after he kissed him.  Hutch looked upset and angry…confused.  At him?? For his feelings?  Didn’t he know how I felt?  He must be in denial… that’s it.  He doesn’t  want to admit his feelings for me.  Shit!! Did I just screw up our friendship?? Hutch?

I can’t go home and I can’t sleep now. I need to talk to him…  NOW!

Starsky got back into his car and sped as fast as he could back to Venice Place.  He ran up the stairs taking two at a time, and pounded on the door.

“Hey, HUTCH open up!”

Wait…the key.  Starsky let himself in and crept through the darkness.   He turned to the bedroom, taking his jacket off, then kicking off his shoes, he crept into the dark bedroom.  Hutch was lying in bed with his arm over his eyes.  Sleeping?

“Hutch??” Starsky asked quietly, “are you awake??”

“Yeah.  I am.  What do you want Starsk?  I thought you went home?”

Starsky hesitated then said…

“I did.  But…I..I came back.  I..”

Hutch let out a long sigh…

“Hutch..I…You… Hutch…I want you.”

Hutch took his arm away from his eyes and looked at his partner, his best friend, and his love.

“I know Starsk…I um, want you too.”

Starsky pulled his shirt off then tossed it aside.  Unbuckled his belt, and pulled down his pants.  He sat on the edge of Hutch’s bed and asked.

“Can  I sleep with you partner?”

“Yeah. …yeah, I’ve been waiting for you Starsk…”

“I wasn’t sure how you felt about… you know, earlier..”

“Let’s not talk now Starsky…okay?  Just come near me and lets be together…as we always are… you and me partner.  Okay?”

“Okay.”  Starsky smiled and locked eyes with his love.

Starsky crawled toward the head of the bed and gently put his hand on Hutch’s chest.  Hutch, never leaving his partner’s eyes turned his head and said…

“It’s about time we came clean about this, Starsk.  Thanks for being the one to show me…thanks for letting me in… and loving me so much.  Thanks for being the brave one …. ”

Then Hutch smiled and said, “And suggesting we watch Casablanca.”

“Hutch, I thought you were angry… I didn’t think you wanted me.”

“No… Starsk…I’ll always want you.  Always. Me and Thee partner.”

Hutch reached over and put his fingers through Starsky’s curls, letting his fingers slide down to Starsky’s chest.  He looked up at his friend and sighed.

“Thanks for coming over and watching Casablanca, Starsk… your Humphrey Bogart imitation needs work, but your kiss…”

Hutch gazed into Starsky’s deep blue eyes, “Well, …that was something else.  I’ll never forget it.”

 

You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, the fundamental

things apply, as time goes by….