Immunity

Captain Dobey struggles with the decision to grant immunity for Callendar.

The door to my office clicks shut, and I stand from my chair, staring at the back of the door. I’m wondering if I’ve made the right decision or not; wondering if it’s too late anyway. The door doesn’t seem to have the answers, so I move behind my desk and sit down, running my fingers through my hair and trying to clear out the lump that has for the past few days taken up permanent residence in my throat. God, Starsky, how can this be right? Immunity for Callendar? He’s a cold-blooded killer. But he also holds the key. He can save hundreds of lives. But you don’t care about those hundreds of lives, do you, son? Nope, there’s only one life on your mind right now. That blond partner of yours. The rest of them be damned. I knew you loved him, but I never knew how much until just this afternoon. After you got back from Roper’s, you stood leaning against my door–I’ve never seen you look so defeated. You’re a tough kid, but this is too much for you, isn’t it? If Hutch doesn’t make it, then I’ve lost you both. Hutch had just better make it. I can’t lose my two best detectives because of some stupid virus.

I start rummaging through my desk. I don’t know what exactly I’m looking for. I’m nervous. I do stuff like that when I’m nervous. I stumble across one of those phony cards you two clowns had made up a couple of years ago giving out my extension as a plumbing service. I swore I’d get you both for that little stunt. And right now I’d give anything to have the two of you here in my office, chewing you out. Hutch with that apologetic look on his face and Starsky looking like the cat that ate the canary. How does he talk you into those things anyway, Hutchinson? You’re a smart kid. You ought to be able to say no to his half-baked ideas. Ah, but then you enjoy them, too, don’t you? You just hide it better than he does.

He’s not real good at hiding his emotions, that one. He tries, but he fails miserably. Written all over his face–his joy, his excitement, his hurt, his pain. I’ll tell you, today, after I told him that we couldn’t give Callendar immunity, I thought he was going to explode. Went running out of here like a wild man. Slammed the door so hard, my picture of Elmo and me went flying off the wall. Elmo. MY partner. I remember how I felt when I found him hanging from that meat hook. It was like my whole rotten world had caved in. That’s how you feel right now, isn’t it, Starsky? Like you’re watching everything you love slip away, and you’re trapped behind an invisible wall and can’t get through to do anything about it.

I stood looking at the picture of Elmo and me. I never had the chance to save him. What if I were in Starsky’s situation? Would I have understood if my captain wouldn’t allow me to do what I thought was right? Callendar is a killer, but I’ve as much as killed Hutch myself if I don’t give him immunity. Killed Hutch and killed Starsky, too. Broken his spirit. The boy thrives on spirit. What the hell am I supposed to do?

I put Elmo and me back up on the wall and went looking for Starsky. When I couldn’t find him anywhere in the station, I went back to my office to have an APB put out on him. God only knows what kind of ideas he’s got rattling around in that thick head of his. But when I opened the door to my office, there he was, standing by the window behind my desk looking out at the world. He heard me come in, but he didn’t turn around. Didn’t say a word to me. Just stood there, playing with the curtain. I’ve seen hopeless before, but I’ve never seen it like that. Every ounce of fight was drained from him.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

He didn’t move.

“You all right?”

He shook his head. His voice was low and shaky.

“No, Cap. I’m not all right.”

“Starsky…”

“Helpless, Cap. I’ve never felt so damn helpless in my whole life.”

He swallowed hard and bit his lip.

“I’m gonna lose Hutch.”

His voice cracked when he said his partner’s name. He glanced over at me, and then looked away again. His eyes were glistening with tears. I sat down heavily in the chair across from my desk—was forced down, really. I’ve known this kid a lot of years, and I’ve never seen him cry, not once. Not even when Terry died. Oh, I know he cried. The kid’s heart gets broken easily, despite his tough street punk act. But I also know the only person who saw those tears was Hutch. And now Hutch is dying. And now I’m seeing the tears.

“Starsky, Callendar is a cold-blooded killer. If we give him immunity, there’ll be chaos. Not only will we have to deal with this virus, but every crime syndicate in the state will be going crazy.”

He nodded his head.

“You understand that, don’t you?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He understands. He simply doesn’t care.

“Starsky, I’m sorry…”

“Please.”

‘Please’ is just a simple little word, and, Lord knows, having two kids, I’ve heard it a lot—almost on a daily basis. This ‘please’ was just a faint whisper, barely audible as it floated softly across my office. But its impact hit me like a speeding freight train. I don’t have a choice.

“All right.”

His grip tightened on my curtain and he straightened his back, lifting his head toward the sky. He didn’t look at me, but another faint whisper floated across my office.

“Thank you.”

I nodded my head and rubbed at the tension in the back of my neck.

“Well, you’d better get going.”

He nodded and stood looking at the sky for another second. When he finally turned around, he barely looked at me. His lips were pursed together in what I gathered was supposed to be a smile and he left quietly, leaving me staring at the door.

So here I sit, tapping my pencil on my desk. My phone startles me, and I pick it up and bark my name into the receiver.

“Cap, it’s Starsky.”

He sounds almost normal. I can hear the siren and the roar of the Torino in the background.

“Yeah, Starsky.”

“I’m on my way to the television station. I just talked to Meredith. Told him we’re going on the air whether he agrees or not. He’s still hesitant, but he’s gonna send Judith and Mrs. Yeager down. Will you call the TV station and tell them we’re on our way?”

“Just as soon as I’m done with you.”

“Good. Thanks, Cap.”

“Starsky…”

“Yeah?”

“You let me know when you hear from Callendar.”

“You got it, Cap.”

I hang up with him and have Minnie get the TV station on the phone for me. As I wait for the connection, I can’t help but chuckle a little. Stupid virus. Didn’t anyone ever tell it not to mess with a man’s partner?

The End