I Will Take Care of You

It was quiet. The sounds that usually irritated and grated his every nerve were muted, as it the night had borrowed the serenity and peace of a cathedral-like deep forest.

He could close his eyes and feel that small glimmer of hope that had never completely died.

Even the machines seemed to provide a soothing background to the blessed sound of air being softly expelled out, and then life was inhaled back into the still body on the bed.

At moments like this, he counted his blessings, not letting the pessimistic comments of all those professional fence sitters disturb his soul deep knowledge of truth.

Life had been returned, and he had gazed into its depths and rejoiced at the infinitesimal signs of courage and strength that promised his souls greatest wish.

Fate is not a kind mistress, often withholding insight until experience has taught its lessons. Any real anger he felt was directed at a fate that withheld the truth from him for so long, and now tormented him with glimpses of a future spent in solitude.

But he knew now that fate had been forced to bow to a greater power, and he opened his heart and mind fully to the beauty and strength of the offered alternate life.

He had emptied his heart of all pretense when he had first been allowed to take up his vigil and add his silent, desperate cries to those of the machines. At first contact, he had felt the connection between them deepen into a two-way healing salve that locked both into a self-supporting universe.

He knew that now he was no longer his own man. Without any words spoken, he had committed his existence to ensuring that the other received every gram of his knowledge, understanding, support, devotion and honest caring for the rest of his life.

The acknowledgement of this truth released forever the bewilderment; guilt and searching that had persisted for as long as he could remember. Until now the earth had never been solid beneath his feet. Now, he was rock and nothing was going to loosen his grip on his burden so gladly carried.

Unbelievably, he felt strong yet incredibly light and joy filled, and it was only his twenty-four hour vigil that kept him restrained. He had argued, cajoled, begged and pleaded for all the liberties the medical establishment would allow him until now he was like another machine to them.

His original shock, anger and “what-do-I-do-now” despair had been replaced with a certainty; a hope and belief in tomorrow, that, in its way, inspired all those around him with the same faith and resolution.

When those eyes opened and focused on him, they saw and knew. The barest of smiles acknowledged the change and accepted it, then peacefully retreated into serene sleep.

He tenderly caressed the face of his life.

“I will take care of you,” he whispered.

And fate heard, and smiled her willing acceptance of infinity’s law – what must be, must be.