You and Me and Baby Makes Three

Starsky and Hutch have a visitor.

A 20 minute challenge fic to use the words baby and salmon.

“What do I do?” The panicked voice from the living room had Starsky running.

“She won’t stop crying.” Hutch looked at him with eyes gone wide and wild. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“Maybe she’s hungry,” Starsky said as he came closer.

“Kissy fed her before she and Frank left,” Hutch said. “She’s gonna kill me.”

“She’s just a baby, Hutch. I doubt you have to worry about that.” Starsky wanted to hold his hands over his ears at the continued screaming but refrained in deference to his partner.

“Kissy’ll never let Uncle Ken babysit you again,” Hutch said to the red-faced infant in his arms.

Starsky bit back a grin as Hutch looked down at his niece. He still found it hilarious that Hutch called his sister Kissy—the name a four year old Kenny had given the baby his parents brought home because he couldn’t say Kristianna.

“Give her to me,” Starsky said.

“How are you going to make Jessica stop crying?” Hutch asked as if he was the only person in the world who could rescue his niece from her cries.

“Well it’s not like you’re doing a good job,” Starsky shot back. “C’mon, give her here. Go check the salmon you insisted we buy for supper.”

Hutch handed the baby over, reluctantly, Starsky thought.

“Be careful,” Hutch told him.

Jessica continued her squawking.

“I have held babies before, you know,” Starsky told him. “I’m not an idiot.” He began to sway back and forth with the baby who kept up her crying.

Hutch gave him a sideways look, put up his finger, and then shut his mouth and stalked into the kitchen.

“Uncle Ken is just a big ol’ mushbrain, huh?” Starsky murmured to the baby. “Ha. I’ve probably held more babies than he ever did. Isn’t that right? You gonna stop crying for me, huh? You gonna smile for Uncle Davey?” He continued the swaying and Jessica stared up at him, her little mouth forming a perfect o as she blew a few bubbles.

“What’s wrong?” Hutch came running back into the living room, a fork in hand. “Why did she stop crying?”

Starsky resisted the very strong urge to roll his eyes. “I thought you wanted her to stop crying. She stopped crying. I guess she got tired of it or something.”

Hutch scowled at him. “You did something to her.”

Give me strength, Starsky thought heavenward. “Yes, I did. I hypnotized her. I slipped her a mickey. I…”

“Shut up,” Hutch said. “What did you do?”

“Nothing other than hold her,” Starsky said. He was going to tell Kissy and Frank that while they were always welcome at the house when they came to Bay City for one of Frank’s book tours, Hutch would need to be given a tranquilizer before they ever babysat Jessica again. Then the light dawned.

“You’re jealous!” Starsky said. “You’re jealous because Jessie stopped crying when I held her and she cried when you held her.”

“I am not.” Hutch’s tone was shocked, indignant but a tell-tale red blush began to spread from his neck upwards.

“Ah, babe,” Starsky said and sat down on the couch. He shifted Jessie to one arm and patted the cushion next to him. “Sit down. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Hutch sat beside him, stared down at Jessie who was now sleeping in Starsky’s arms. “She wouldn’t stop for me.”

“She would have stopped soon enough,” Starsky told him. “You just gotta learn to relax with her.” He handed the baby to Hutch. “She loves her Uncle Ken.”

“She’s so little,” Hutch said as he took one finger and stroked along a cheek. “And so helpless and the world’s so big.”

“Yeah,” Starsky said. He sniffed. “Is that salmon burning?”

“Huh?” Hutch appeared lost in the wonder of staring at his now sleeping and angelic for the moment niece. “Yeah, maybe.”

Starsky got up and pulled out the broiler tray. The salmon was no where near edible any longer. It had even gone beyond the charcoal stage. He dumped it in the garbage can and picked up the phone to call for a pizza.

He heard Hutch’s voice coming from the living room and smiled.

“All I want is black bean soup, and you to make it with me.”

Yeah. Jessica was gonna be just fine.