A Bad Idea

251

Sometimes ideas don’t work out the way one wants. Or…Starsky and Hutch try to have sex somewhere different.

An answer to a 20 minute fic challenge to use the words: Shift and Slide

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Shift, slide

“Damn it, Hutch. Your elbow is digging into my ribs.”

“This was your idea. Shift your butt over.”

“I can’t. There’s not enough room.”

“Again. Your brilliant idea.”

“I thought it would work. Stop snickering.”

“I’m not snickering. Honest. Really—how on earth did you think me and you were going to fit in here to…”

“Have sex? It looked big enough. Don’t…”

“Ow.”

“Did you hit your head?”

“No. I did not hit my head.”

“You don’t have to sound all pissed off about it.”

“I’m not pissed off.”

“Sure. Sure you’re not. How come they make it look like you can do it in the bathtub in porno movies?”

“Starsk. In case you haven’t looked at us lately, we’re not the normal couple shown in a porno.”

“Huh. Maybe you aren’t, but little Davey seems to be just right. Ow, what was that for?”

“You know what it was for. You knew what I meant.”

“There’s gay skin flicks.”

“And how many of them have you watched?”

“Well…none. But that’s beside the point. You and me. Slide down a little bit. I think if you do, I can…”

“No. No. No. This won’t work. Get off me.”

“You don’t say that normally. You say, get me off.”

“Normally you’re not trying to drown me.”

“Look on the bright side, if I did drown you, I could give you mouth to mouth.”

“Hello. Dispatch? I’d like to report a murder.”

“Ha ha. Look. I pulled the plug.”

“Good. We can go do it in the bed like normal people do.”

“Normal—when were we ever normal? You happy now?”

“Starsk. I’ve always been normal. You, on the other hand.”

“Sometimes…”

“Sometimes, what? Ah babe.”

“I’m cold. Okay. That water was nice and warm and…oh, that’s nice.”

“You getting warm?”

“Hot. Boiling.”

“Mmm.”

“Hu…”

“Starsk?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Get up. You’re squishing me.”

“I was up. Now I’m down.”

“I’d sure love to be on whatever you are.”

“Drunk on love, buddy. Drunk on love.”

“You just sound drunk.”

“You’re a real riot, Hutchinson. You know that? Here I thought you’d appreciate a nice romantic getaway for two.”

“I do appreciate it. But you gotta admit, bathtub sex was not one of your better ideas.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure? Who wants to do it in a bed all the time?”

“Me. I want to do it in a bed all the time. My back thanks me every time I do.”

“Boring.”

“Oh yeah? How about I show you just how unboring bed sex can be?”

“You’re ready again?”

“No. But I figure while we wait, we can come up with something creative.”