Hutch’s Song

Starsky decides it’s now or never.

Originally published in the 2023 SHareCon Zine.

Thanks to Babs and Daisy Morgan for their proofreading and editing!

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again
Annie’s Song ~~ John Denver

We’d been walking in silence for nearly half an hour. The path was wide enough for us to walk side by side. Every time I glanced over his face had released more of the recent stress and he looked as if he’d lost about five years. I was glad I’d given in to his request; nature is so restorative for him.

It was now or never. God, when did I become so like him to have overthought this. Without another second to lose, keeping my eyes forward, I reached out, grabbed his hand, entwined my fingers in his and held on tightly.

His sudden stop halted my forward momentum. We were now two arm lengths apart but he didn’t let go; maybe even held on tighter. I turned back towards him, closed the gap and stood directly in front of him. I reached for his other hand and brought them both up between us, kissed each one gently, then, finally, looked deep into his wide eyes. Deep enough to see the soul we had always shared.

Returning my look just as deeply he asked, “Why?”

“Because we’ve both wanted it for a long time.”

“Well, yeah. But why now?”

“Now we both need it.”

I felt his whole body shudder as he bent his forehead to mine. “What next?”

“Me and Thee. Same as always.”