Delayed Reaction

155

As shock sets in at what he’s been through, a worried Hutch appears to be having a delayed reaction to something from his past as well as being concerned for his partner. Dobey tries to be there for both his officers and there’s help from Huggy too.

 

Set straight after the episode ‘Shootout’.

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Part One

Hutch was so tired he could hardly think and the only thought that did crawl into his mind was: “And the rain is still falling.”

He climbed into the ambulance beside Starsky, grateful that someone else was taking over the care for his partner, someone who knew what they were doing. He’d done his best: cleaned Starsky’s head wound; applied pressure to the shoulder wound until the bleeding slowed almost to a stop; tried to immobilise his partner’s arm (the one that seemed worryingly numb); and kept him as warm and as still as he could.

Of course, the plan to keep Starsky still had all gone out of the window when Hutch had been forced to ask him to create a distraction for him. His loyal partner had tried to do more, even crawled a little way towards the door when he figured Hutch was in trouble, or possibly dead, even though he was in no condition to help. The second time that action was required, Hutch knew he was on his own. Once he’d dealt with Joey and Lockley, he’d ordered Theresa to call for the police, an ambulance and a coroner’s wagon and then hurried through to check on his partner.

This time Starsky hadn’t moved, hadn’t had the energy to do so. He looked such a terrible colour that Hutch was really concerned. Starsky made a joke about being hungry but Hutch saw through it. He realized that Starsky’s shoulder must have started bleeding again. He dashed out to Theresa to check that the call had gone through and help was on the way. Then he ran back to Starsky and did his best to staunch the flow of blood.

It wasn’t long before the ambulance arrived although to an anxious Hutch it seemed like an eternity. While the paramedics worked on his partner, Hutch was barraged with questions by the arriving patrol officers, which he did his best to answer. He was aware that his brain seemed sluggish. Recalling the details of what had happened and of what he’d done to deal with the situation took on a surreal, walking nightmare quality. He relayed the events as if he was an observer rather than a participant.

The senior sergeant on duty seemed to sense that Hutch was having difficulty concentrating on anything except what was happening to his partner and quickly sent his men away to deal with the aftermath and clean up. The sergeant offered to contact Captain Dobey and Hutch nodded. He was relieved to hand the scene over to someone capable. He just wanted to forget about duty for a while and give his partner his undivided attention. At the back of his mind, he realized that IA would be along shortly to interview him about the shooting and wounding of Loxley – and the killing of Joey – but they would just have to catch up with him at the hospital. There was no way he was leaving his partner’s side.

“And the rain is still falling. And someone died tonight.”

Now, on the journey to the hospital, Hutch watched as the paramedic attached a saline drip to Starsky’s arm to replace some of the precious fluids he’d lost as a result of the shooting. His partner was now unconscious and Hutch could see his skin was pale and sweaty. Starsky’s lips seemed to be losing colour, turning an almost grey-blue colour. The paramedic was checking Starsky’s pulse regularly and seemed worried.

“He’s gone into shock, hasn’t he?”

“Yes, but we’re almost at the hospital. Try not to worry.”

Not worrying was easier said than done. Seeing Starsky shot, seeing the horrible gaping wound in his back, had been distressing. Trying to care for him and get them out of the deadly situation they found themselves in had been terrifying. He felt sick just thinking about it. But they’d made it. Or had they? What if Starsky’s blood pressure bottomed out? “I can’t lose him now – not after getting him this far. Please God, help his BP stabilize. Please.”

Hutch held his partner’s hand, not caring what the paramedic thought about the display of affection, and leaned his head back against the side of the vehicle, feeling faint.

The paramedic looked up from the latest pulse check.

“His pulse is steady now. Hey, are you feeling okay?”

Hutch went to answer and found he was stammering. “I-I’m f-fine. Just look after m-my p-partner.”

“Hey!” The paramedic laid Starsky’s hand back down on the cot and reached for Hutch’s wrist.

“I t-told you. I’m f-fine.”

“Just take it easy, okay. Your face has gone very pale. Let me check your pulse.”

Hutch grimaced but allowed the paramedic to do the check.

“It’s rapid-”

“-Your p-pulse would be rapid if you’d just seen your p-partner shot!” Hutch protested, not even aware that he was stammering.

The paramedic held up his hands. “I understand that. You need to calm down. You’ve been through a shocking experience and it’s bound to have had an effect on you.”

“It’s not the f-first and it won’t be the last. I’ve gotten used to it. Look, I’m okay. I’m just tired but I’ll be f-fine. Concentrate on Starsky.”

“Okay, but try and take it easy. If your pulse doesn’t steady, I’m going to be admitting you alongside your partner. Just try to relax, okay.”

“Okay.”

Hutch tried to focus on his partner’s small improvement in colour and not to think about what had happened that evening. He tried to slow his breathing down and quieten all the thoughts beginning to buzz around his head. The ambulance slowed and then turned so he knew that they must be arriving at the hospital. The driver opened the vehicle doors and Hutch could see it was still raining.

“And the rain is still falling. I had to shoot. I had no other choice.”

As the paramedic beside him covered Starsky with a waterproof blanket, Hutch could see an orderly appear carrying an umbrella. He tried to stay out of the way as the two men lifted Starsky from the back of the vehicle so that the orderly could cover his partner for the few exposed steps between vehicle and emergency doors. The paramedics wheeled their patient through and straight along the corridor to the elevator that would take them up to the operating theatre. There wasn’t room for Hutch inside so he waited for the next one and then rode up the three floors, impatiently waiting for the door to open. He rushed along the corridor, just in time to see Starsky being wheeled through doors, which said ‘No Entry’.

A nurse saw him hovering and noticed how pale he was looking.

“Sir. There’s a waiting room just there and a vending machine if you want something to eat. Why don’t you sit down? Surgery could take a while. Someone will come and find you as soon as your friend is out.”

“P-partner.”

“I’m sorry?”

“P-partner. My p-partner got shot.”

The nurse came closer and took Hutch by the elbow, gently steering him towards the waiting room.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You look like you could do with a rest. Should I get a doctor to check you out?”

Hutch shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”

They’d reached the waiting room. Hutch was glad to see that there was no-one else around at the present time. What time was it anyway? It had to be half twelve or even later by now. Suddenly overcome with weariness, he sat down heavily.

“Can I get you anything?”

Hutch shook his head.

“Okay. Well, try to rest.”

Hutch nodded: “Thanks.”

Hutch gazed numbly into the distance, eyes unfocussed until they came to rest on a small window that showed the dark of night outside. Raindrops ran down the pane of glass reminding him, as if he needed it, that it was still raining. It was one of those winter storms that sometimes occurred in Bay City. Arriving unexpectedly and seeming as if it would never end and then dissipating suddenly and rapidly. He was reminded of another dark night, another dark storm – a night he hadn’t thought about in a long time.

“And the rain is still falling. Just like it did that night. I had to shoot. I had no other choice.”

“Detective Hutchinson?”

Hutch swallowed and looked around to see his Captain looking kindly at him. Behind him, two men in suits hovered. Hutch tried to sit up a little straighter.

“I’ve been filled in, son. You’ve had quite a night. How did Starsky look when you arrived?”

“The p-paramedic said that his pulse had steadied. He lost a lot of blood. A lot. I did my b-best to take care of him.”

“I’m sure you did.” Dobey could see the strain on Hutch’s face and had heard the slight stammer as he spoke. He tried to reassure the younger man. “I know you will have done your absolute best and that’s why your partner is still with us. He’s going to be alright, Hutch. He’s in the best place getting the best care. Try not to worry.”

Hutch nodded and smiled wanly.

“Do you feel up to answering a few questions? Greg Parker and Tony Newman need to speak to you.”

Hutch looked over Dobey’s shoulder. He didn’t recognize either man but knew they must be from IA. He nodded.

Dobey turned to the senior man and said softly, “Greg, I’d appreciate it if you’d go easy. He’s been through a lot tonight.”

Greg nodded. “Sure, Harold. All the witnesses agreed about what happened. We just need to check a few boxes.”

Dobey turned back to Hutch. “I’m going to see if I can rustle up some coffee and then I’ll be right back.”

Hutch nodded. The two officers from IA sat down either side of Hutch and asked him to describe what had taken place that evening. Dobey hurried away to the nurses’ station to ask where they nearest place was where he could find some coffee for his weary detective. The nurse took pity on him and let him slip into the nurses’ lounge and pour two mugs.

“Don’t tell anyone and make sure you put the mugs back before you leave,” she asked.

“I will and thank you, my dear. You’re being very kind.”

Dobey walked back to the visitors’ waiting room and hovered outside. He heard Hutch say: “I knew that time was running out for all of us. I asked Theresa to create a d-diversion so that I could try to bring the situation to a close and stop the gunmen from ambushing Vic Monte and k-killing all the witnesses…She dropped a tray. I showed my gun. Joseph responded and fired. I fired back and then rolled to one side. Lockley had his gun in his hand. We f-fired at the same time, I think. He missed. I got him in the shoulder. Joseph was on the ground. I gathered up all the guns. I checked Joseph’s p-pulse. He didn’t have one. He was dead.”

“By Joseph, you mean Joey Martin.”

Hutch looked surprised. “Er yes…Joey Martin.”

“And the gun you used was the one that belonged to the bar owner?”

“Er…Yes. Yes, I didn’t have my gun. Loxley had it…I put all the guns together, wrapped up in a tablecloth. There were in the back room. I’m not sure what happened to them next.” Hutch rubbed his face in confusion at his own lack of clarity. “I guess the sergeant has them? I should have made sure. That was negligent of me.”

Greg shook his head. “All the guns have gone to the station for processing. And you did hand them to the sergeant. You did your duty very well under difficult circumstances.”

Hutch blinked with surprise then said, “Thank you.”

“I think that’s everything, Detective Hutchinson. Get some rest and I hope your partner is out of surgery soon.”

“Thanks.”

Greg and his fellow officer stood up and headed towards the door.

“Our side of things is done, Harold. Keep an eye on him. He seems a bit…shell-shocked?”

Dobey nodded his thanks to Greg and then went into the visitors’ lounge. He handed Hutch a mug of coffee, which he accepted almost automatically. Dobey noticed with concern that the younger man’s hands were shaking. He assumed that the adrenaline rush that had got Hutch through the ordeal was wearing off, leaving him fatigued. He stood up and walked over to the vending machine, choosing some chips and some candy and inserting the correct number of coins for the purchase. He took the items back to Hutch, who had placed his mug on the seat beside him.

“The rain is still falling,” Hutch observed. “I had to shoot. I had no other choice.”

“I think you should eat something, son. You’re looking a little peaky.”

Hutch shook his head. A moment later, he admitted, “Actually, I don’t feel so good. I feel sick.”

Dobey moved quickly to the doorway and called to the nurse, who grabbed a cart and then hurried into the room. She handed Hutch a basin and then lifted his wrist to check his pulse. As Hutch started to go floppy and slide into unconsciousness, Dobey grabbed hold of him and kept him upright.

“I’ll get help!” the nurse said and hurried from the room.

Dobey held onto Hutch and whispered, “I’ve got you, son. You’re going to be alright.”

 

Part Two

Dobey watched as the nurse and doctor thoroughly checked Hutch over. He started to come around and mumbled something incoherent.

“Detective Hutchinson, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?”

“I had to do it. Joseph didn’t give me any choice. The rain made it hard to see but the light from the street lamp glinted off the knife. Harris didn’t have a clear shot. I didn’t have any choice. He’d have killed her if I’d hesitated. I had to shoot.”

“Detective Hutchinson, you’re in the hospital. You fainted.”

“I fainted? At the scene? I don’t remember? Where’s Harris?”

Hutch’s eyes were glazed and he looked totally confused. Dobey stepped forward.

“Hutchinson? Do you know who I am?”

Hutch’s eyes locked onto him and after a few seconds began to clear. He nodded.

“You’re my Captain. Dobey. What am I doing…? Starsky? Where’s Starsky?”

Dobey placed a hand on Hutch’s arm, trying to calm him.

“He’s in surgery. I’m going to go back up there and see if there’s any news but first I need to make sure you’re okay.”

The doctor took this as his cue to continue his examination. “When did you last eat?”

“Erm. I don’t know. Lunchtime.”

“That’s around thirteen hours ago. Might be your blood sugar is low. I understand you’ve been through something traumatic this evening?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Hutch said, a glimmer of his deadpan humour surfacing. “My partner got shot and I nearly did too.”

The doctor smiled understandingly. “Well, all the excitement is catching up with you now. You need to rest and relax and you need to eat something. I’ll get an early breakfast ordered for you.”

“Okay, fine.” Hutch started to move. “Tell them to bring it up to the visitors’ lounge on the surgical floor.”

The doctor shook his head. “This is not a hotel and you are not going anywhere for a few hours.”

“I need to see my partner.”

“You need to look after yourself first. You can see him once he’s in recovery. I’m sure your Captain,” he looked at Dobey for confirmation, “will keep you updated.”

Dobey nodded. “I’ll head up there right now if you promise to stay put and do what the doctor tells you.”

Hutch let out a long sigh. “All right….all right. But if there’s any news, please come tell me right away.”

“I will.”

The doctor added, “If you stay put for a few hours and your blood pressure stabilises then there will be no reason to keep you any longer than necessary. Please follow my recommendations. I’m trying to help you get back to normal as fast as possible.”

Hutch nodded. “All right. Thank you, doctor.”

*****

On his way upstairs, Dobey stopped near the payphones. He debated whether to make a call or not. He knew that Huggy had become more than just a confidential informant to his men. He was a friend; one who had helped them out in some tough situations. Dobey lifted the receiver and dialed.

“Hullo,” a sleepy voice answered.

“Huggy. It’s Dobey.”

“What’s happened?”

“They’re okay,” Dobey was quick to say but then added truthfully, “Well, they’re not okay but they’re both alive.” He went on to tell Huggy what had happened or at least as much as he knew so far.

“They won’t keep Hutch in for long?”

“No, they just want to get his energy levels up and his blood pressure back to normal then they’ll release him. Sometime late afternoon I would imagine.”

“I’ll go to Hutch’s house and get him a change of clothes. Then I’ll be over to see him and get the latest news on Curly.”

“Thanks Huggy.”

“Thank you for letting me know. See you later, Mon Capitan.”

Huggy put the phone down before Dobey had time to remind him once again that he wasn’t his captain. Dobey replaced the receiver and shook his head, but there was a slight smile playing on his lips.

*****

While Hutch was being looked after downstairs, Dobey waited in the visitors’ lounge. He sat for a long time and then began pacing. He couldn’t help thinking that the longer the surgery took, the more trouble Starsky was in. He was full of trepidation when a surgeon finally appeared.

“You’re here for Detective Starsky?”

“Yes, I’m Captain Dobey. How is my detective, doctor?”

“He’s out of surgery and in recovery. His blood pressure was very low when he came in and that complicated things but he is one lucky man. The crease on his head was superficial. The shoulder wound was more of a worry. The bullet was in an awkward place, pressing on a nerve – that’s why he had no feeling in that arm – but I managed to remove it. There shouldn’t be any permanent damage. His blood pressure is coming up. He’s doing well. Another hour and you can see him.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

Dobey let out a huge sigh of relief and then went in search of Hutch, who he discovered had been moved from triage to a room. He was hooked up to a saline drip and a heart monitor. Hutch looked up as he entered, anxiety written all across his face.

“Any news? What’s taken so long?”

“He’s out of surgery and he’s doing well.”

“Thank God,” Hutch said with gratitude. Internally, his brain screamed at him, “Starsky nearly died tonight! And you killed someone…again!”

Hutch pressed a shaky hand to his eyes and the monitor to which he was attached started beeping. The nurse who had been hovering rushed over to see what the indicator was showing.

“Take some long, slow breaths, Sergeant Hutchinson and try to relax.”

Hutch closed his eyes and tried to quieten the noise in his head. “He’s alright. He’s alright. He’s going to be okay.” Slowly, the monitor returned to normal. The nurse nodded to Dobey with relief. Dobey pulled up a chair and sat down. Just then an orderly arrived with a tray of food for Hutch.

“There’ll be another breakfast along at eight but this is just to get you started on the road to recovery,” he said kindly.

“Thank you.”

Hutch uncovered the tray and found scrambled eggs, toast, juice and fruit. Even though, he didn’t feel much like eating, he started to butter the toast, knowing that the doctor wasn’t going to let him go anywhere if he was still in danger of fainting. Dobey was pleased to see him following orders and noted that his skin at last looking a more normal colour.

Hutch looked over at his Captain and said, “Thank you for being here, but shouldn’t you be with Starsky. I’m okay.”

“Starsky’s unconscious at the moment and will be for a while. I’ll keep you company and then in about forty minutes, I’ll head up and see how he’s doing and whether he’s up to any visitors.” Hutch went to speak and Dobey added, “I know. I know. You need to see him for yourself. I’ll get that arranged. Leave it with me. Let me do the running around. You get your strength up.”

Hutch nodded and again said, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

*****

Starsky gradually became aware of the sound of monitors beeping, the rough, dry feel of the inside of his mouth and a dull ache in his shoulder. Slowly, he opened his eyes. He looked around cautiously and saw his Captain sitting in a chair next to his bed, nodding as he dozed. Starsky coughed. Dobey sprung up, smiling.

“Starsky! How are you feeling?”

Starsky tried to answer but could only cough. Dobey reached for the cup of water, complete with straw, and held it up for Starsky to drink from.

“Thanks. Where’s Hutch?”

Starsky’s voice was operating at half its usual strength and Dobey knew he needed to tread lightly and not distress his wounded officer. He cleared his throat before speaking: “He’ll be along shortly. He’s having something to eat.”

Starsky’s eyes scanned his. He could tell something was off even though Dobey held his gaze steady and tried to give nothing away.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Starsky asked softly.

“Nothing. Hutch is alright. Just…a bit shaken.”

“And?”

Dobey sighed. He might as well voice his concerns. One look at his partner and Starsky would know straight away that Hutch wasn’t himself.

“He didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, what with the ordeal you both went through and then waiting for you to come out of surgery. Of course, worrying about your injuries has taken its toll. That and trying to make sure you and everyone else got out of that restaurant alive.”

Starsky nodded. Even in his injured state, he had noted the signs of strain on Hutch’s face. He felt guilty that his partner had had to shoulder all the responsibility during last night’s events. He knew it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t help but he felt guilty all the same.

“And?”

“He fainted earlier. He hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday lunchtime. That was probably a big part of it. That and the adrenaline rush wearing off. But he’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

Starsky was on alert. Even in his current weakened condition, he couldn’t turn off his concern for his partner’s health. “Hutch fainted?”

“Yes.”

“Has a doctor checked him out?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

Dobey sighed. “He’s being observed.”

Starsky frowned. “I want to see him.”

“You’re not in any condition to move, Starsky. He wants to see you too but the doctor has insisted he stay put for a couple of hours. Then they’ll let him come see you.”

Starsky thought about protesting but Dobey was right. He wasn’t capable of going anywhere just yet. Reluctantly, he settled back into his pillows.

“What happened to those two goons? Did everyone get out alive and unharmed?”

Dobey filled Starsky in on what he’d missed and then added: “Hutch had to kill Joey Martin. He’s taking that hard.”

Starsky nodded again. Neither of them liked using their guns. They always tried to make it a last resort but sometimes it was necessary. Sometimes the perps didn’t give them any choice.

Dobey wiped his face as he asked, “Starsky. Does the name Joseph mean anything to you?”

“Joseph?”

“When Hutch was getting a little confused in the early hours of this morning he kept mentioning the name Joseph.”

Starsky shook his head. He searched Dobey’s face, worry clearly showing in his eyes.

“How confused?”

“Pretty confused when he first regained consciousness. He kept talking about the rainstorm and having to kill Joseph and that he hadn’t wanted to.”

Starsky’s brow furrowed. “Joseph. He might be thinking back to Joseph Button.”

“Joseph Button? Who’s he?”

Starsky spoke slowly: “He was the first person Hutch killed in the line of duty. It was when he was a patrol officer.”

“You think that incident has resurfaced for him?”

“I don’t know. It’s possible…Hutch felt terrible about it but he wouldn’t really talk about it to anyone. Back then, we weren’t as close as we are now or I’d have made him talk. His partner, Harris, was a good cop but closed off to needing to show emotion so Hutch wouldn’t have talked to him. I thought he’d made his peace with it long ago but…maybe not.”

The long speech wore Starsky out and he yawned. Dobey realized that he’d kept him talking for longer than he should have.

“Get some sleep, son. I’ll wake you as soon as Hutch is cleared to come see you.”

“All right. Make sure you do.”

Starsky closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds. Dobey waited for a few minutes and then rose. It was time to go check on his other injured detective. Unlike some of his colleagues, Dobey understood that some injuries couldn’t be seen. In his opinion, a festering mental wound was just as dangerous as a physical one. He walked along the corridor and punched the button for the elevator.

He travelled down to the first floor and along to the room where Hutch had been placed. As he walked in, he was pleased to see that the younger man looked much more alert than he had earlier, albeit still pale. He was just finishing eating an apple. He acknowledged Dobey’s presence with a nod of his head and continued eating. Dobey dragged a chair over and sat down.

“How’s Starsky doing?”

“He’s doing well. He wondered where you were but I told him you’d be along to see him in a couple of hours.” Before Hutch could think about getting out of bed, Dobey quickly added, “He’s asleep right now.”

“Oh…but he’s doing okay?”

“Yes, he’s doing well. He’s just got to rest and mend…And so have you.”

Hutch looked away.

“Do you want to talk to someone about what happened tonight?”

Hutch cleared his throat and turned back to look at his Captain. “I’ll talk to Starsky about it…when he’s out of here and healed. We usually work this stuff out together. He’ll need to talk about what happened. Sometimes only your partner can understand what went down…You understand what I mean, don’t you?”

Dobey nodded. He thought about mentioning Joseph Button and then thought better of it. Starsky knew more than he did and Starsky would know how to get his partner to talk about whatever emotion had reared its ugly head. At least, he hoped Starsky would be able to. Sometimes, Hutchinson even clammed up on his partner.

“I won’t push but if you and your partner can’t handle going through everything that happened tonight and you need to talk to someone professional, let me know. There are some events that just leave more of a mark than others and we need help to deal with them.” Dobey turned Hutch’s own words on him: “You understand what I mean, don’t you?”

Hutch nodded.

“Get some rest and then I’ll see about wheeling you along to your partner.”

Hutch went to argue but saw the look on Dobey’s face and decided to give in gracefully. He nodded and settled back against his pillows. Soon, he was dozing peacefully. Dobey wiped a hand over his face. Behind him, the door opened quietly and Huggy peered into the room. Dobey nodded. He stood up and walked outside to join the lanky man in the corridor. Huggy handed the Captain a fresh coffee and a paper bag.

“Thanks.”

Dobey looked inside the bag and saw that Huggy had provided a breakfast sandwich for him. He suddenly realized that he was extremely hungry. The two of them sat down and, in between mouthfuls, Dobey updated Huggy on Starsky’s condition.

“Phew! Thank heaven Starsky’s like a cat with seven lives. How’s Blondie doing? What happened?”

Dobey explained what was going on with Hutch and that he hoped that, once he saw his partner, he’d be able to relax. Dobey finished eating and drinking and threw the empty bag and cup away.

“So how about I go sit with Blondie and you keep an eye on Starsky? And also arrange that wheelchair for Blondie sooner rather than later. No-one’s going to get any peace or real rest if he doesn’t see his partner soon.”

Dobey nodded. “Thank you, Huggy.”

“Always happy to help out my brothers,” Huggy said. He collected the bag containing fresh clothes for Hutch and tiptoed quietly into the sleeping detective’s room.

Dobey stood, straightened his tie and went in search of Hutch’s doctor so he could see whether it would be safe to take him to visit his partner in the next hour.

*****

“Hey,” Hutch called softly across the room as Dobey wheeled him in.

“Hey, you big blond beauty. How are ya? I’ve been worried about ya.”

The energy was back in Starsky’s eyes but his voice still sounded weak. Hutch’s eyes filled with tears as he wordlessly reached out and took Starsky’s outstretched hand in his. Dobey put the brakes on the chair and then cleared his throat.

“I’ll help Huggy go and get those drinks he’s gone looking for. We’ll be back shortly.”

As the door closed, Starsky said, “What’s this I hear about you fainting? Couldn’t bear the thought of me having all the attention, could ya?”

“You got me. Can’t let you have all the nurses fawning over you.”

Starsky searched Hutch’s eyes for answers and found the question ‘what if’ being silently asked.

“Hey. You did good, partner. Brilliantly in fact. And I’m still here…I’m still here, Hutch.”

Hutch’s hold on his partner’s hand tightened. Starsky squeezed back.

When Hutch didn’t say anything, Starsky said, “There was that moment when I thought they’d killed you…Guess you had that feeling too.”

Hutch nodded.

“But we’re both still here.”

Hutch nodded again.

Starsky could feel himself tiring so he said quickly, “We’ll take the whole thing apart later. Right now, I need to rest and from the looks of you so do you.”

“I’m not leaving,” Hutch said, knowing his partner was trying to give him permission to go home. “I can doze in a chair.”

“I’d argue but I’m too tired. Talk again in a bit,” Starsky yawned sleepily.

“Sleep well, Starsk.”

Hutch held onto Starsky’s hand until it relaxed in his hold. Then he gently laid it on the bed. He eased himself out of the wheelchair and took up station on the green hospital chair next to Starsky’s bed. Suddenly overcome with fatigue, he bent over and laid his head down on his arms on the bed and was soon dozing. When Huggy and Dobey came in a few minutes later, they took one look and quietly left again.

“I think they’re going to be just fine,” Huggy said. “We should go and get some rest ourselves. We’ll be needed later.”

Dobey raised an eyebrow.

“Hutch might need help handling Starsky when he realises that he might still be in here for Christmas!”

Dobey looked alarmed and then nodded. “Let’s hope he can be released before the day itself or we will never hear the end of it!”

The two of them headed away from the hospital to get some much needed rest. Huggy had managed to arrange for someone to open the bar and he would go in late afternoon. Dobey hoped he could get a few hours’ sleep before he put in an appearance at the office. His squad knew he wouldn’t leave a wounded man from his squad until he was sure he was going to make it. The Chief of Detectives would provide cover for him until he arrived. He also knew he needed to get home and update Edith otherwise his dear, sweet wife would be at the end of her tether with worry.

*****

Starsky stirred and came to. It took him a few moments to remember where he was and what had happened. He reached for the drink on the nearby table at the same time as he registered his partner was dozing fitfully on the edge of the hospital bed. Starsky took a few sips and then put the cup down. He reached out gently and stroked Hutch’s hair trying to soothe him. Hutch’s eyes and lips were moving and he began to look distressed. Starsky was just about to shake his shoulder to wake him when Hutch shot upwards, breathing hard.

“Why?”

“Why what, partner?”

Only then did Hutch register where he was. He ran a hand over his face.

“Nothing. Sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t and it’s not nothing, Hutch.”

Hutch looked away.

“We got a lot to talk about but I think you got something else on your mind as well as last night’s incident.”

“Incident? Nightmare. Horror story. All better words,” Hutch said, unguardedly.

Starsky reached out and patted Hutch’s forearm. He nodded. “Yes, all those things…I just meant…Hutch? Are you aware that you’ve been mentioning Joseph Button?”

“What? When?”

“This morning after you fainted apparently and to IA.” At Hutch’s incredulous look, Starsky added, “Dobey said it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. So there’s something going on with you beyond what we’ve both been through…What triggered it?”

Hutch sighed. “I don’t know…Except…”

“Yes?”

“The rain reminded me of that night. Unrelenting. And not where we thought the night was going.”

Starsky nodded. “Remind me what happened.”

“We got called out to Clover Apartments. Harris and me. We’d been there a few times before. Joseph was a sweet kid but he had problems, you know. He was supposed to take this medication to keep him calm. Sometimes he went off it.” Hutch ran a hand over his face, his distress clear as he recalled the night in question. “It was pouring. We could hardly see anything. When we got there, we went to go in the front door. There was a group of kids coming the other way. Joseph was behind them. He saw us and panicked. He grabbed one of the girls and then we realized he was holding a knife to her throat. I could see the light glinting off it. We both drew our weapons, Harris and me, and ordered him to drop the knife. He started talking crazy – about it being the end of the world, about monsters hiding inside people, all sorts of stuff. I was the one with a clear shot. We tried to talk him down but he got more and more agitated. He made a move to cut her throat. I shot him.”

“You had no choice, Hutch.”

Tears started rolling down Hutch’s face. “I know…but he was such a sweet kid. I’ll be sorry till my dying day.”

Starsky moved as much as he could without pulling the drip out of his arm and drew Hutch in for a hug.

“You gotta forgive yourself. You did your best to help that kid. It ain’t your fault he went off his meds. It ain’t your fault he had a knife. And don’t forget that girl is still alive because of you.”

Hutch nodded and slowly pulled away.

“Thanks, partner.”

“That’ll do for now. We got more to talk about, I think, but that’ll do.”

“You tired? You want to get some more sleep?”

Starsky scowled. “I’ve done nothing but sleep since I got here. I think I can stay awake for a while. Help me sit up a little, would ya?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Very gently, Hutch assisted his partner to sit up a bit straighter.

“Now, in half an hour I want you to go home and get some proper rest but right now we’ve got some planning to do.”

“Planning for what?”

“How we’re going to get me out of this joint in time for Christmas!”