Part of my series of conversation written for SHFAFF. Older guys and younger guys on stakeouts. Attempt at humour.
6th January 2026
Hutch whistled as he walked up the path to the Starsky household. It was a beautiful day, with the temperature in the low 60s but expected to make 65. Hutch loved this time of year. A new year lay ahead full of possibilities.
However he knew for his former partner and best friend today was his least favourite day of the year. It had always been unusual for Starsky to get depressed, but over the last few years he definitely had a low mood for a few days in January. It hadn’t taken Hutch long to work out why or to find a cure.
He knocked and then opened the door, calling out as he did so.
“Gordo! I’m here. Hope you’re decent!”
“In the kitchen!” Starsky called back. “And take your chances, Blintz!”
Hutch chuckled as he walked through the house and into the kitchen.
“Morning. Here, take this while I pour a coffee.”
“What’s this?” Starsky asked, peering into the bag with undisguised curiosity.
“Why don’t you unpack it and see?”
Starsky’s eyes lit up as he pulled out a box of donuts, a CD box set purporting to be the best tunes of the 50s and a string of coloured lights, with bulbs that were shaped like tiny leaves.
“Thought the lights would cheer you up. I know you hate it when all the decorations go back in the attic.”
“Everything looks so bare,” Starsky said. “I did think about keeping them up past the 6th but I can’t fight tradition.”
“Superstition,” Hutch teased. “You still think you’ll have bad luck if you keep them up after Epiphany.”
Starsky shrugged. “You can’t prove I’m wrong!”
Hutch snorted. “Where do you want your lights? I’ll help you hang them up.”
“The den. Let’s take our coffee and donuts through and we can listen to this CD while we hang them…Thanks Hutch. This was really nice of ya.”
Hutch smiled with pleasure as he followed his pal to his den. Starsky was so good at picking up when he felt down. It was nice to return the favour.
13th February 2026 (Younger Guys)
As Starsky droned on about Armadillos, Hutch wiped his brow and wished to high heaven that the suspect they were looking out for would turn up so they could arrest him and get away from the heat. Out of the blue, something his friend said caught his attention.
“What did you say?”
“Nine banded armadillos are always born as quadruplets.”
“Well, I didn’t know that. How weird!”
“I don’t know why you think that’s weird. Lots of animals have large litters.”
“Well, yes, but most of them don’t have hard shells. It just seems weird,” Hutch said with a shrug. He checked the time. “Do you think we can get out of the heat for a few minutes? A nice cold drink and something to eat would be good.”
Starsky looked off into the distance as he tried to recall a fact he’d read the other day. “Did you know Arctic Foxes usually have five to eight pups but have been known to have up to twenty-five?”
“No, I didn’t…How about taking a break for lunch, Gordo?”
“And I also read that female Sand Tiger Sharks produce multiple eggs but they only have two uterus so the eggs eat each other until only two are left.”
Hutch looked at him with something close to horror.
“Did you say something about lunch, Blintz?” Starsky asked.
“Lunch is over,” Hutch said dramatically. “Why is nature so gross?”
“I dunno but I see something else gross over there. Let’s go get our man then we can go back to Metro and get out of this heat.”
With a nod at each other, they went to capture their prey, moving like a pair of perfectly synchronised lions.
18th February 2026 (Prompt: I don’t like the look of this.) (Younger Guys)
Starsky and Hutch surveyed the room uneasily.
“I don’t like the look of this!” Starsky said. “Do I recognise those two over there? Ain’t they out of town muscle?”
“Yeah, I think you’re right…and oh! Isn’t that the guy they call The Bulldozer?”
“Yeah! Never thought I’d hear myself saying this but I don’t think we can take ’em.”
“Yeah, I think we should leave and live to fight another day.”
Behind them Dobey cleared his throat. “The Bulldozer, huh? Well, they’ve not seen The Kingpin! Courage men. For the honour of Metro!”
He cracked his knuckles, hefted his bowling bag and led the way over to the bowling lane. Behind him, Starsky and Hutch exchanged amused glances then got ready for the serious task of beating First Street Division.
22nd February 2026 (Younger guys)
“Morning pal.”
“Why are you ringing? Why aren’t you on your way?”
“Just wanted to check you’d got everything you need for our stakeout, Blintz.”
“Yes, all set. Now get yourself in gear and get over here, Gordo.”
“I’ve been thinking…maybe you were right.”
“About what?”
“Using your car for the stakeout. It would fit in better where we’re going.”
“Starsky, after everything you said yesterday about your car having air conditioning, the seats being more comfortable, being able to open and shut the doors quietly – now you want to use my car!”
“Yes, well…just think it might be better…So you’ll come collect me?”
“Hmm…Now the truth, Starsky. Why do you want me to collect you?”
Sighing. “My car won’t start.”
Grinning. “I’m on my way…and I’m not going to let you forget about this!”
“Already figured as much!”
6th March 2026 (Younger Guys)
“You are officially the weirdest person I know,” Starsky declared as he watched Hutch make a banana sandwich.
“Didn’t you ever have a banana sandwich as a kid?”
“Yes…as a kid…operative word being kid.”
“How do you know you wouldn’t still like it if you don’t try it?” Hutch asked.
“Some things are obvious.”
“Not to me.”
Starsky shook his head. “Are we going to the beach or not?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll just get my stuff.”
As Hutch headed to his bedroom, Starsky stared at the quarter of a sandwich that was left. Then he sniffed it. Then he took a bite.
“Hutch, you got another banana?” Starsky called to his friend.
In the bedroom, Hutch grinned. “Sure, help yourself…There’s plenty of bread too!”
28th March 2026
S: Is it me, Hutch, or has FB been really laggy the last couple of weeks?
H: I wouldn’t know. I keep telling you FB is for people with too much time on their hands. Here’s me eating a sandwich, here’s me visiting my Auntie, here’s me cleaning my windows.
S: That’s not what it’s all about, Blintz, there’s great groups and really informative stuff to look at it. I’m a member of a group full of people that all love Gran Torinos.
H: You mean there are other people out there like you? That’s scary!
S: Ha ha. In fact, there are several Torino groups.
H: How many are you in?!
S: Well, one or two…Hey, give me back my cell phone.
H: One or two, huh? I can see Ten Torino groups here. You need help.
S: If it was a group for hosta lovers, you wouldn’t complain.
H: Well…that would be worthwhile…Are their groups for hosta growers?
S: Let me take a look. Yep, there’s about five just based in California. Why don’t you join?
H: Not sure I’m ready to join the dark side…
S: (under his breath) By this time next week, I bet you’ll be signed up.
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