The Mountain Road

What happens when Hutch first tries to drive his car after the ordeal in Survival?

Thanks to Robbin for the suggestion.

Hutch was more than grateful to Starsky, who had been doing everything he could to look after his partner – both during his stay in hospital and once he’d been allowed home. After several weeks, he was healed; even the crutches to help with his broken leg were a thing of the past.

With the help of Merle “The Earl”, Starsky had found Hutch a replacement car: a beat up old Ford, the same vintage and in almost the same condition as his last one. Hutch had a sneaky suspicion that Merle had given the old car a tune-up when Starsky had taken it to him to be made roadworthy. He had yet to find out.

During Hutch’s first week back at work, Starsky had picked him up and driven him into Metro each day. This was to make sure that Hutch didn’t ask too much of his recently healed leg and so that he could rest easy on the way home each day. Hutch was starting to get irritated with the coddling, but understood where his partner was coming from. The ordeal he’d been through had been frightening for both of them. The nightmares about being pinned under his car were only just receding and his leg still ached if he did too much, but he hoped to consign the whole, horrible ordeal to where it belonged; a faded memory. He was looking forward to getting back to active duty and back to normal next week…and that included driving.

With an uncluttered Saturday ahead of him, it would be the ideal time to see how his leg felt after an hour or two of driving and he was looking forward to trying out his new ‘old’ car and feeling a semblance of total independence. He knew it was a good idea to go for a test run. He wanted to make sure he was up to a full day’s driving before he needled Starsky into letting him drive a couple of times during the next week. He finished his breakfast, tidied up and then picked up his keys – eager to go out of the city on a day that was warm with blue skies.

On the sidewalk, he grudgingly admired the clean-up job his partner and Merle had done. The car even sparkled in a few places, where the dents allowed. Hutch hoped that this car would have as much character as the last one and feel like an old friend when he drove it. He unlocked the door and opened it. The horn didn’t inexplicably blare so Merle must have done something about it.

‘I knew Starsky wouldn’t be able to leave that alone,’ Hutch thought with a smile.

He’d never tell Starsky this but he was relieved. The noisy horn going off at random times had been annoying. Hutch climbed in, settling into the seat with a sense of familiarity. It felt pretty much the same. The seat was worn in the same places and fitted his form like a tailor made suit.

“Hello, old girl,” he mumbled. “Let’s go for a ride, shall we?”

He turned the key in the ignition and felt his breath catch in his throat. For one moment, as he looked through the windshield, he wasn’t on a Bay City Street any more, he was on a winding mountain road then just as abruptly his vision cleared. He shook his head and stared down at his now clammy hands. His breath was coming in shallow gasps and he felt an inexplicable sense of dread. He turned the key, shutting down the noise of the engine, but not the pounding noise in his head. Suddenly, he felt as if he had to get out of the car, as if his life depended on it. He threw the door open with such force that he startled a man walking his dog.

Hutch jumped out, locked the door and hurried back into the Venice Place building. As he made his way up the stairs, holding onto the wall to keep his balance, he felt his heart rate and breathing returning to normal.

‘What just happened?’ he asked himself.

Once inside, he poured himself a large glass of water and drank most of it down straight away to ease his dry mouth. He walked through to the greenhouse and sat down amongst his plants, feeling the calm of his sanctuary gradually soothing his jangled nerves.

‘It’s nothing. Bound to be a bit nervous driving after such a long gap. Forget about it. Try again later.’

Hutch embarked on a series of things that would keep his attention and stop him thinking about his car: pruning and watering his plants, writing down the words of a song that had come into his mind and playing the piano. He ate a light lunch and then stood contemplating the keys nestled in the bowl near the door. Should he try again?

Taking a deep breath, and before he could change his mind, Hutch grabbed the keys and hurried out of the apartment. Nervously, he opened the door and climbed in the car. He could feel his heartbeat beginning to race.

‘Don’t be stupid. There’s nothing to be afraid of!’

He quickly started the engine and pulled out into the light traffic, but as he did so a sharp pain made itself known high in his chest, his hands got clammy and he started to feel dizzy. He quickly pulled over to the side of the street, trying to catch his breath. Shakily, he left the car and walked the short distance back to his apartment, feeling a little better with every step he took. Once he was safely back home, he ran a hand through his hair and took some deep breaths.

‘I can’t drive! I can’t drive! What am I going to do?’

*****

On Sunday, Starsky pulled up outside Hutch’s apartment and wondered where his friend had gone. No car indicated no Hutch. He was just about to pull away when he spotted the new Squash a little way down the street. He didn’t think anything of it; other than a passing thought that Hutch must have been out on Saturday and found his parking space had been taken when he got back.

He sauntered up the stairs, knocked and then entered, calling out as he did so.

Hutch called back from the kitchen: “I’m just making a sandwich. Want one?”

“Of course.”

Starsky sat down at the table and watched as Hutch layered foodstuffs between slices of bread.

“How’s the new car handle?”

“Huh?”

“I see you’ve been out in your new car – how does she handle?”

“Oh…er…fine. Just fine.”

Starsky instantly picked up on the tension in Hutch’s voice and the way he was studiously avoiding eye contact. Something was wrong, but what?

“Merle gave her a tune-up. She was purring almost as good as my girl when I drove her back here.”

Hutch brought the sandwiches and two sodas over to the table and sat down.

“Where’d ya go yesterday?”

“Er…just to the store.” Hutch took a quick bite of his sandwich.

Starsky bit into his own sandwich but kept an eye on his partner. There was a tell-tale flush around his neck that told Starsky Hutch was hiding something from him and his eyes looked pre-occupied.

Starsky finished his mouthful and asked, “You feeling good about being back on full duty?”

Hutch nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be glad to get away from my desk.”

“What do ya feel like doing this afternoon? Walk somewhere?”

“Yeah, my legs could do with a good stretch. How about the beach?”

Starsky nodded. He could see Hutch’s colour settling down and the tension leaving his body. When Hutch was relaxed it was easier to get him to open up. Starsky decided to bide his time. They finished their lunch and tidied up. When Hutch wasn’t looking, Starsky grabbed Hutch’s car keys and slipped them into his pocket. Then the two of them went down to the Torino and he drove them to the beach, where they enjoyed a long walk that brought the sparkle back to Hutch’s eyes.

On their return, Starsky pulled the car up next to Hutch’s vehicle and turned off the engine. He pulled the keys from his pocket and dangled them in front of Hutch.

“How about you drive us to Huggy’s?”

Hutch swallowed and wiped sweaty palms on his jeans. He shook his head and whispered, “I can’t.”

Starsky frowned. “Why not?”

“I just can’t!” Hutch almost barked at him, panic clear on his face.

Starsky laid a hand on Hutch’s arm to try to calm him.

“Talk to me, Hutch. What happened when you went out yesterday?”

Hutch swallowed and looked away, ashamed of his own weakness. After a moment, he said, “Guess I’ll have to go see a shrink…I c-can’t drive.”

“Tell me exactly what happened.”

“When I started the engine, all I could see was that winding mountain road and I couldn’t breathe. Felt like I was in danger, like something was going to happen if I stayed in the car…I tried again. I did, but same thing…only…”

“Only what?”

“I thought I was going to have a heart attack! Guess I’m not fit for duty. Guess I’m crazy and I need to see the department shrink. Sorry, partner. Guess I’m not fit to watch your back.”

Starsky shook his head at Hutch’s self-chastisement. “Hutch, what I guess is; it’s perfectly normal to have that sort of reaction getting back into a car that looks exactly like your old one. You went through something hugely traumatic. It’s bound to have affected you.”

Hutch swallowed.

“I’m only sorry I didn’t see this coming. I was so focussed on getting you well physically; I didn’t even stop to think there might be other consequences to what you went through.”

Now it was Hutch who shook his head at Starsky blaming himself for what was going on. Starsky moved his hand to Hutch’s shoulder and squeezed.

“Hutch, do you trust me?”

“Of course!”

“I’m going to suggest something. You won’t like it but hear me out.”

Hutch nodded.

“How about you and me take a drive out of the city? Get straight back on the proverbial horse. How about we see if we can get you past this together before we go see any shrink?…Although, maybe that might be a good idea anyway.”

Hutch started breathing faster and shook his head. “I don’t think I can.”

Starsky locked eyes with him and said nothing for a long minute.

“I’ll drive your car. You’ll be the passenger. Let’s try that, huh?”

Hutch tried to slow his breathing as Starsky squeezed his shoulder again.

“Okay. Let’s try.”

They got out of Starsky’s car and Starsky unlocked the beige Ford and held the passenger door open for his partner. Hutch hesitated and then got in. Starsky hurried around to the driver’s seat. He started the engine and pulled away before Hutch had time to think and change his mind. Hutch gripped the door and the edge of his seat, white knuckles showing.

“Easy there, partner. I ain’t that bad of a driver,” Starsky teased, trying to ease the tension in his friend’s body.

Hutch let out a slow breath and tried to relax. The hand on the seat moved up to Starsky’s shoulder and clung on, drawing strength from the contact.

“Where are we headed?” Hutch managed to ask.

Wondering if what he was about to say was such a good idea, Starsky hesitated before saying, “Barnaby’s Tavern.”

Hutch drew in a sharp breath and held his hand against his racing heart.

“Hey! Hey, Hutch, talk to me! You okay?”

Hutch gasped a couple of times and then drew in a slow, steadying breath. His voice shook a little as he said, “I’m okay…Keep going.”

Starsky drove them out of the city and towards the mountain road that led to Barnaby’s Tavern, the place that Hutch had been told to go to before he was flipped off the road by the hired killer in a truck. As they began to climb the steep incline, Hutch paled and started looking around, as if watching out for imminent danger.

He whispered, “Starsky…look out…”

“Hutch, stay with me, pal. It’s just you and me here. There’s no danger, nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re safe.”

As they looped around each curve, Starsky kept up a monologue of reassurances and Hutch’s breathing, although fast, didn’t worsen. Once they were past the point where Hutch’s vehicle had left the road, his breathing began to return to normal. Starsky found a place that was safe to pull off the road and did so. Hutch closed his eyes. Suddenly, he threw open the door and ran away from the car to be sick in the sparse undergrowth. Starsky followed with a bottle of water he’d left in the car after the visit to Merle’s.

“You okay?”

Hutch nodded as he swilled some water around his mouth, spat it out and then wiped his face with a handkerchief. His colour began to return. Starsky placed a hand on the small of his partner’s back. He wanted to tell Hutch he was proud of him but worried it would sound patronising. Hutch looked at him and seemed to hear the unspoken words. He smiled slightly and nodded.

“So…what do you want to do now?”

Starsky decided not to make any suggestions, just leave it to Hutch to work out what the next stage was going to be. Hutch turned and looked at the car. He walked over to it and threw the water in the back and then stood silently. Starsky gave him space.

Hutch opened the driver’s door and stood again, thinking. Then he settled himself into the driver’s seat.

“Atta boy,” Starsky said under his breath and quickly walked over to get in the passenger side.

Hutch swallowed a couple of times but looked calm.

“Alright if I drive us home? I don’t really want to go to Barney’s Tavern. It’s a dive.”

“That’s okay with me.”

As Hutch turned the key in the ignition, Starsky placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder and left it there. Hutch turned the car around and then started heading back down the mountain road, more carefully than he would do normally, but driving without signs of distress. As they passed the point where Hutch had gone off the road, Hutch’s breath caught and quickened. Starsky just squeezed his shoulder and let his partner work through his fears.

As they came off the mountain and began entering the edge of Bay City, Hutch simply said, “Thanks, partner.”

“Anytime…although I suppose this means we have to take your crummy car to work tomorrow.”

“You bet. I’ll pick you up at seven thirty. Be ready.”

“Ain’t I always ready?”

Hutch just rolled his eyes and laughed.