In This Life I Was Loved By You

Starsky is hurt and Hutch realizes he doesn’t want to wait.

For all I’ve been blessed with in this life,
There was an emptiness in me,
I was imprisoned by the power of gold,
With one honest touch you set me free.

Let the world stop turning,
Let the sun stop burning,
Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.
If it all falls apart,
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true.
In this life, I was loved by you.

For every mountain I have climbed,
Every raging river crossed,
You were the treasure that I longed to find.
Without your love, I would be lost.

So let the world stop turning,
Let the sun stop burning,
Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.
If it all falls apart,
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true.
In this life I was loved by you.*

The temperate climate was a big relief after the piles of snow they’d left behind in Minnesota. It was afternoon and the fog had rolled in, giving a surreal look to the familiar sights that they passed. It almost felt like they were in some heavenly place among the clouds, floating along freely, their new-found love for each other transporting them from the earth so that they were walking on air scented with the bougainvillea, which grew riotously in every available nook in the yards they passed.

Starsky was so deep in thought that he passed Venice Place and Hutch had to poke him in the ribs and indicate that they had to go back.

The bright red Torino coasted to a stop in front of the picturesque building. Starsky parked the car, then helped Hutch sort his baggage out of the jumble in the trunk. He closed it down and followed Hutch, carrying one of the suitcases.

“I can get it, Starsk, if you’re in a hurry to get home.”

“Nah, no big rush, thought you might offer me a beer.”

“I only have so much resistance, buddy. Until we’re ready, maybe it’s not good to be together alone anymore than we have to.”

“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this, Hutch. We’ve come all the way from Duluth, hardly able to keep our hands offa each other, why are you insisting we wait?”

“Because if this is it, if we’re going to be together forever, why not have the romance first. Maybe I want to be wooed.”

“Well, maybe I wanna be screwed and I think that says it all.”

All the way across the badlands, they’d argued the point. Each of them had laid out what they wanted out of the relationship, to the point where, as Starsky bluntly put it, it was beginning to sound more like a train schedule than a love affair. But Hutch stuck to his guns, he wanted commitment and the perfect time and place to be together, much to Starsky’s exasperation. He grabbed the key off the door frame and opened the door with a flourish. Hutch hesitated in the doorway, his sky-blues eyes lost in the depths of Starsky’s deep indigo pools.

“Well, do you want me to carry you over the threshold, too, Blondie?”

Hutch turned and stepped inside. He gasped when he saw his apartment. All the available surfaces were covered with vases. In each vase was a dozen roses, ranging in hue from the purest white to deep, dark red. He turned to stare at Starsky, speechless.

“Ya wanted moonlight and roses, didn’t you? I can’t do much about the lighting, but I got you some posies.”

“Some? It must have cost you two days’ pay. When did you do all this, Starsk?”

“I called Huggy from somewhere along the way and…”

“I thought we decided nobody could know.”

“Huggy isn’t anybody, he wouldn’t give us away.”

Hutch wandered among the flowers, touching one here, bending to catch the scent of another.

“You sure look great surrounded by all that beauty, babe, but you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Watch out, flattery may get you everywhere.”

Starsky came close to his partner and Hutch closed his eyes, expecting to be kissed. Instead Starsky put the suitcase down and swaggered over to the door.

“Pick you up for work tomorrow, babe.” And he was gone, leaving Hutch with his eyes closed and a his lips pursed for a kiss.

He had to choose between a cold shower or a five-mile jog. He chose to run his emotions into the ground. Without unpacking, he changed into jogging shoes and appropriate clothing and headed out the door.

He’d gone about two miles, close to the point where he usually turned around and headed back, when he saw something that made his insides crawl up into his throat and his heart beat as if it were trying to pound a hole through his chest and escape.

In the middle of a crowd of people were two cars; one a candy-apple red Torino with a telltale white stripe and the other an older model Ford. He barely noticed the other car, but he could see that the Torino had been badly crunched in the front end and that the windshield was broken. There were two black-and-whites there and an ambulance. What made his heart freeze was a body lying near the Torino, completely covered and obviously dead.

Tears formed in his eyes as he elbowed his way through the crowd, calling Starsky’s name. He reached the side of the covered form, but couldn’t bring himself to raise the sheet. One of the officers at the scene recognized him and yelled, “Hey, Hutch, if you’re looking for Starsky, he’s in the ambulance.”

Hutch lost no time reaching the van parked to the side. Starsky was sitting in the back of the ambulance, being tended to by a paramedic.

“Hutch, what the hell are you doing here. I asked them not to call you.”

“Why the fuck not, you idiot?”

“‘Cause I’m not really hurt, just kissed the windshield a little, not even a concussion, might have another headache in the morning.”

He had an angry-looking jagged gash up by his hairline, but it had stopped bleeding and didn’t look very deep.

“They don’t think it’ll even leave a scar.”

“What happened?”

“They think the other man had a heart attack and died instantly, poor guy. He couldn’t help but run into me. The Torino’s in bad shape, though.”

Starsky chuckled. “That’s what I get for lying to you and saying I was having problems with it. I jinxed myself. It doesn’t look like it bent the frame, so Merle’s sending a tow for it. Can you give me a ride home?”

“Yes…. no, you’re coming back to my place. I can’t trust you out on the streets alone. When I saw that body, the first thing I thought was…well, you know what I thought. I’m not letting you out of my sight again until we go to work in the morning, if I even let you go then.”

“You’re getting a little bossy, aren’t ya?” Starsky leaned over and whispered directly into his partner’s ear. “I love it when you get all masterful on me. You want a love slave for the night, do you?”

Hutch turned bright red.

“Jeez, you could make a sexual innuendo out of the weather report.”

“Sure, massive risings sighted in Hutch’s bedroom. Thunder and lightning, mingled with fireworks, high pressure system and increased humidity, culminating in copious coming precipitation, followed by peaceful calm. Howzat?”

“Starsky!”

“Want me to tell you your horoscope?”

The paramedics had left them alone, so Hutch desparately dragged his partner out of the ambulance and onto the street.

“Are you going to stay put while I go get the car?”

“Yeah, you don’t think I’m going to walk all the way to your place, do you?”

“You’d better be right here when I get back or there’ll be hell to pay.”

“Hell–hot molten lava-like substances oozing from a huge rising phallic-shaped volcano…”

Hutch was mercifully spared the rest of the description as he turned on his heels and headed toward his place as fast as he could.

The sequel to this story is The Right Someone for You.