Strength

Post SR, Hutch and Dobey have a conversation in the hospital.

There had been peaks and valleys – so many of both – and here was another damn valley. A new infection, a skyrocketing new fever. Through the ICU window, Hutch watched Starsky sleep, saw his weak, fretful movements, the lines of pain in his face, and he wondered about his partner’s reserves of strength. Didn’t seem possible that Starsk had anything left to fight this one. Just didn’t seem possible.

Hutch heard someone approach, and when a hand came to rest on his shoulder, he knew from the now-familiar touch that it was Dobey.

Dobey said nothing, so Hutch leaned his forehead on the window and kept silent as well. Minutes stretched on, and Dobey’s hand never lifted. It stayed in place, steady and sure, welcome and warm, and Hutch was so grateful he felt the sting of tears.

Eventually, Hutch took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and said, “Tell me about Elmo.”

Dobey seemed to gather himself before speaking. “Elmo was a smart man. People thought he was shy, but he wasn’t. He just didn’t speak much unless he had something to say. And I was a hothead, flaring up all the time, so he was good for me.” Dobey chuckled. “God, he was funny. He’d say nothing all morning long, then open his mouth, say one thing, and lay me flat he was so funny. I loved that man. I miss him. If he was alive, he’d still be my best friend.”

Hutch stirred, pressing the cuff of his shirt to his eyes, then he leaned against the window again. “How were you able to…? How did you ever…?”

Dobey shook his head. “I don’t know. Don’t really know how I survived it. At first, I didn’t think I could live through the grief, or through the rage. I did, though.” He paused for a while, thinking back. “Had my faith in the Lord. Edith helped a lot. She was my rock. Cal was a happy little kid; he kept me sane. And my brother’s a cop in San Diego – did you know that? He talked me down a couple times.”

Hutch nodded, then shrugged. “Starsky’s my rock, though. Where I put my faith. Best friend, brother, partner… happy little kid,” he said, smiling. “He makes me laugh, keeps me sane, talks me down. He’s my, my… He’s all of it. And if he… Captain, how would I…? I, I don’t know if I could–”

Dobey’s hand tightened. “You could and you would. You’d keep breathing, keep living. You’re tired now, son, and you don’t feel strong. I know that. But you would not fold up, not shut down, because he’d hate it if you did.” Pulling on Hutch’s shoulder, Dobey guided him away from the window and faced him squarely. “And you listen to me now, Ken. No matter what happens, I’m going to be here. I can’t be everything, but I can be your captain and your friend. And I can be a man who understands what you’re going through.”

Hutch looked into Dobey’s solemn dark eyes, which were calm and sad and a little blood-shot from weariness, and he felt more anchored. Less lonely. He nodded his thanks, not trusting his voice, and turned back to the window to focus again on Starsky.

“Hutch, he’s going to beat this one too,” Dobey said. “It’s another bad battle, but he’ll win it.”

“Yeah,” said Hutch. “I know that.” Though, right now, he didn’t know that, not truly. If he was going to believe anyone’s words, though, it would be the strong man standing behind him, watching his back, calling him ‘son’, and ‘Ken’, and ‘friend.’

~The End~