Home Is…

Starsky is feeling empty and alone. Where can he go to?

Starsky stood on the edge of the shore, watching the waves as they rolled up onto the sand in front of him. The sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon and soft pinks and oranges tinted the sky. It was a beautiful evening.

Starsky swallowed, his heart so full of loss it physically ached. Terri should be here, enjoying the beauty of a perfect sunset. But she wasn’t and nothing would bring her back. He wiped away hot tears with his hand and tried to keep the rest from falling.

He felt lost. Home was empty without her. The world was empty without her. He’d come for a walk to get away from the four walls of his apartment, away from the crushing silence, but the beach in its vastness only emphasised his loneliness.

He didn’t want to stay. He didn’t want to go back home to the silence. As the colours deepened and darkened, he slowly turned and trudged along the sand towards the boardwalk and the parking lot. Not because he wanted to but because he didn’t know what else to do.

Home. Home is where the heart is. Wasn’t that a saying? Well, his heart was gone so where did that leave him?

“I think home is where you can go, just as you are, and you are always welcome.”

Had Terri said that? Or had his mother? Or had he read it somewhere? He didn’t know.

Home is where you are always welcome. For now, that meant one place, one person. Starsky unlocked the Torino and climbed in. He started the engine and drove towards Venice Place.

As he reached the top of the steps, the door opened and Hutch smiled at him. A watery smile, because Hutch’s heart was hurting too, but still a smile of welcome. Starsky could only manage a nod.

Nothing was said. An arm around the shoulder giving him a squeeze, a beer placed in his hand, a solid presence by his side as he mindlessly watched the game on TV; all brought comfort in their own way.

The ‘stay as long as you want to’ (said as pillows and a blanket were handed to him) told him that he was welcome in this place and that the slow work of healing could at last begin because he was ‘home’.