Advice for the Weary

When you can see both sides of an issue, which one is correct?

Written for the 20 minute challenge. Missing scene for Strange Justice.

Starsky didn’t have to search every gin joint in Bay City. Hutch was in the first place he looked: The Pits.

“There you are,” he said softly, sitting beside Hutch in the back booth. “Was afraid I wouldn’t find you.”

“Didn’t have to look very hard,” Hutch said, his voice so soft and full of pain it hurt to listen to him.

There were three empty shot glasses in front of him. No beer steins. No soda bottles.

Huggy’s waitress, Diana, hovered about a foot away, her eyes questioning whether she should set down the shot glass full of whiskey she had on her tray. Starsky subtly shook his head, glad Hutch was past noticing that she was there.

“Where were you?” Hutch asked, running a finger around the closest glass. He collected the last drops of alcohol on his finger and stuck it in his mouth.

“Lori—y’know, Leslie’s dorm mate, doesn’t have a car so I drove her and Cassie over to the hospital.”

“How’d you…” Hutch looked momentarily confused but didn’t finish his question.

“I talked to her,” Starsky said simply, mourning the loss of Hutch’s last ounce of hope in the world. It was as if Hutch had lost everything. He could still see the look of utter despair on Hutch’s face earlier—after Lt. Slate shot Biggs point blank and screwed his entire career as a cop. How had a good man gone so bad, and could Hutch possibly fall down the same rabbit hole? “Like I’m talkin’ to you. Tell me what’s in your head? Cause I’m…” Starsky sighed to himself. Was he was pushing too hard? Hutch looked vulnerable and hard as rock at the same time. “I’m getting a soda. You want Coke or iced tea?” No booze was the unmentioned red line.

“Whatever.” Hutch raised a limp hand and let it fall.

Starsky got him iced tea, and a 7 UP for himself because Huggy’s Coke machine was on the fritz.

“You ever seen the musical Jesus Christ Super Star?” Hutch asked, starring at the glass of tea as if he’d never drank any before.

“Not exactly my expertise—isn’t it about the guy us Jews aren’t supposed to root for?” Starsky joked. He wasn’t sure what to do when Hutch was throwing him non-sequiturs.

“And yet, Jesus was a Jew,” Hutch said, clearly looking past the tea, Starsky, and The Pits to something only he could see. “I watched the late show the other night and the actress who played Mary Magdalene was on. She was talking about that when she took the role—and through rehearsals until the show was running on Broadway, she wasn’t knowledgeable about the actual story, and thought she was Mary, the mother of Jesus.” He shook his head. “So here she’s singing this song about maybe being in love with him, only to her—she wasn’t talking about that, she was on a completely different level…”

“I know one of the songs,” Starsky remembered hearing it on some variety show or something. “I don’t know how to love him….” he said softly. Except maybe he did know how to love Hutch.

“Yeah, but there’s another one where she sings him to sleep—” Hutch hummed the notes of Everything’s Alright. “And it struck me, here—Slate, he was defending his daughter’s honor, her life. Which, as a father and a cop, is his right against this rapist.”

“And yet—”

“Where did it get twisted?” Hutch whispered. “Where did his first step go in the wrong direction? A good cop shoots a rapist.”

“In the police department.”

“Guilty until proven innocent,” Hutch said bitterly. “I saw Slate shoot Biggs twice. Never saw Biggs with Leslie. She can’t give a statement. But Slate did other girls a service by killing that bastard.” Hutch had two tears running down his cheeks. He wiped them away furiously. “And fuck it. Slate was still in the wrong, wasn’t he? Even though what he did was right? Where’s the justice in that?”

“He didn’t do it the right way,” Starsky answered him, despairing for Hutch’s soul. “It’s hard to…see both sides, like that actress playing two Marys at the same time.”

“So many ways to go,” Hutch said, massaging his temple. “So many roads to choose. How do we know which is right? I see both sides and want to…”

“Sleep on it?” Starsky suggested, holding out his hand. It was trite and ridiculous, but rest had always helped. “Come over t’my house and we’ll see what’s on Creature Features. Always puts you right into dreamland.”

Hutch clasped his wrist, as if clutching a life line. “I’d like that.”

Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh
Don’t you know
Everything’s alright, yes, everything’s fine
And we want you to sleep well tonight
Let the world turn without you tonight
If we try, we’ll get by, so forget all about us tonight
–Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber
–Jesus Christ Superstar