Can’t Stop Talking

Starsky fills the silence while waiting for Hutch to wake up.

A response to a Silent Hutch challenge.

There were various things Starsky hated about hospitals; the food, the vending machine coffee, the smell, the way it always brought about bad memories, but the one thing that Starsky hated more than anything was the waiting. A person spent more time in hospitals waiting than doing anything else in them. Waiting to have surgery, waiting for someone to come out of surgery, waiting for x-rays, waiting to have x-rays, waiting to see if that cough that had been bothering you all week was something more serious than the beginnings of a cold. There was very little to do while you waited apart from read an out of date magazine and worry, although Starsky didn’t feel like doing either. The only magazine he had any interest in was two years out of date making the contest to win a holiday in the Caribbean invalid.

He looked over at his sleeping partner and smiled. Hutch wasn’t the kind that looked sweet and innocent while he slept, he looked more than a beach bum taking a nap on the sand with the sun in his hair, although over head lamps didn’t have the same effect on the blonde hair. He was still beautiful in Starsky’s eyes. But staring at his beauty wasn’t filling up the endless waiting and the silence was starting to get to Starsky. It was bad enough that Hutch wouldn’t be allowed to talk when he woke up, but having to wait for that time just made things worse. So Starsky filled up the silence the only way he knew how.

He babbled.

“Did I ever tell you about my Great Uncle Morris?” Starsky began. “He had throat cancer and they had to remove his larynx. He spent the last fifteen years of his life without his voice. I remember as a kid I’d go over to his house and whenever he wanted to speak he’d write it down on a small black board. Back then I had no idea why he couldn’t speak, I thought he was faking it, so when I was six I stole the black board and spent the day asking him questions. I genuinely thought he could speak and because of it I was never allowed to go back. Apparently the last words anyone ever remembers him saying before his surgery was ‘If I lose my head, I’m suing.'” Starsky laughed as he took a moment to remember his late Uncle Morris.

“A few years after that I was sponsored by some teachers at school to spend the whole day without saying a word. The money was going to go towards a bike so I could get a paper round. The teachers believed I talked too much and some of them thought I wouldn’t last the day that I’d find the whole thing impossible to do. Well, they were right. Just ten minutes before the end of the day a boy told me a joke that I already knew the punch line too and couldn’t resist blurting it out.” Starsky sniggered as he remembered the joke. “It had been quite a dirty one so not only did I lose the money, I got detention.”

“That wasn’t the last time someone challenged me to stay quiet, but the second time was different. I was more determined to do it because I wanted to prove that I could do it. And I did, I actually spent a whole two days without saying a word and actually enjoyed it. I learned to listen and found out things I never knew about people. I listened to my mother talk about her secret love of astronomy and I listened to the girl next door whine to me about her boyfriend, even though I was still too young to understand some of the more…kinkier things.” Starsky blushed. “I even enjoyed listening to the outside world, as cars went by and children played on the sidewalk. Even after the bet was over I wanted to spend more time listening to people and for a week I actually managed to speak very little.”

Starsky’s smile faded.

“But then I didn’t want to listen to more. After my pop died there was too much silence and when people did speak they said things I didn’t want to hear. When they weren’t talking about funeral arrangements they were trying to comfort me, but I just talked right over them, although it was mostly yelling. I went back to talking a lot, to anyone, to people who would talk about anything besides death. Unfortunately I also started talking back to people I shouldn’t have and ended up in trouble with the police.” Starsky smiled.

“They don’t tend to like it when you swear at them, as we both know from experience.” Starsky finished off his glass of water. His throat had started to get sore from talking too much, but he didn’t stop.

“That’s when my mother sent me out of California. She was afraid I’d talk myself to an early grave or a prison cell if I remained in New York, but I still got into a little trouble after I moved because I talked to the wrong people about the wrong things. Whenever I thought about my pop I’d talk about something else. I guess that’s why I talk about inane things whenever something bad happens. It’s just something I’ve never managed get rid of. I mean, look at right now. This story started off as a tale about my uncle, I had no idea it’d end up here.” Starsky fell silent. He had heard footsteps approaching the door and knew it was probably the doctor come to check on Hutch.

“How’s the patient?” He asked as he entered the room. He was a small man with bright ginger hair.

“Still asleep.” Starsky grumbled. The doctor put on his glasses and started his exam.

“Has he been awake at all?”

“No, not yet.” Starsky was slightly relieved when the doctor didn’t seem too bothered by that.

“Well, I’m sure it won’t be out for much longer.” He put Hutch’s chart back in its place at the end of the bed and left the room with a smile. Overall Starsky liked the doctor; he was more pleasant than some he had met over his time as a cop and not just as a patient. He had to admit also that there weren’t enough female doctors around for his liking.

“That doctor’s a nice guy, a lot nicer than this dentist I used to know when I was a kid. I never went to him, but he lived next door to us.” Starsky said after a few minutes. “He used to take his false teeth out after the appointment to scare the kids into brushing twice a day. It was even more of a fright when my mother told me later on that he was only 30 when he lost his top teeth.” He chuckled when he realized what he was doing. “See, here I am talking about something else that’s so little importance right now. How about you wake up and tell me to cut it out.” Starsky wished at that moment that Hutch would do just that, but Hutch continued to sleep on. It was at that moment that Starsky had a thought.

“You know, maybe you not being able to talk will be a good thing. I mean I won’t have to listen to you complain about my lunch. I’ve decided to order a pizza with extra peppers and salami. And I just bought a new book with the most weird world records and I bet you’ll love to hear all about those.” As Starsky continued to think about all the benefits of having a mute Hutch he started to get more excited, wishing Hutch would wake up sooner. He was just beginning to run out when Hutch’s eyes began to flutter.

Starsky smiled.

“Hey, there Sleepy Blondie.”

Hutch blinked a few times before opening his eyes wide and looked up at Starsky. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a weak croak came out.

“Oh, no you don’t, the doctor’s banned you from speaking for now.”

Hutch frowned.

“Don’t you remember? You just had your tonsils out.” Hutch nodded.

“As you know, I had mine out when I was a kid, so I know what you’re going through and I know the best cure is to stay quiet, let your throat heal and suck down plenty of these.” Starsky picked up a cup full of ice chips and started spooning them into Hutch’s open mouth. He swallowed them happily, gesturing for more when Starsky took the spoon away. After Hutch had had enough the two sat in complete silence for a while. Starsky had spent so much time talking to himself that he couldn’t think of anything to say to Hutch. But it didn’t seem to bother him. There was no need for an inane one sided conversation. After all Hutch was going to be fine once his throat recovered and Starsky was looking forwards to it, because despite when he said to himself earlier, hearing Hutch’s voice beat the silence.