December 23rd, 1983

Starsky’s cooking and singing and Hutch is complaining. It’s Christmas after all.

December 23^rd, 1983

“’I want a hippopotamus for Christmas’,” Starsky warbled. “‘Only a hippopotamus will do’.”

He emptied the box of Nilla wafers cookies into the food processor with a flourish and turned it on.

“What are you doing, and why are you singing?” Hutch asked grumpily, entering the kitchen.

“I’m makin’ rum balls for the Christmas party,” Starsky said happily. “And I’m singin’ a Christmas song because it’s almost Christmas.” He emptied the Nilla wafers crumbs into a bowl and went back to singing. “‘I don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinkertoy, I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy’.”

“Hippopotamus, Starsk?” Hutch asked witheringly.

“Yeah!” said Starsky, unbothered. “Didn’t you ever hear ‘I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas’? It was real popular when we were kids.” He turned to the fridge and got out the bag of chocolate chips. He popped a few in his mouth. “Mmm, good!”

“I suppose I did, but why are you singing it now?”

“Because it’s two days til Christmas, and I heard it on the oldies radio station. They’re playin’ Christmas songs now. And it reminded me of listening to it as a kid. I really liked that song then.” He emptied the chocolate chips into a saucepan on the stove, and cheerfully sang some more of the hippo song. “‘I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?’” He measured out corn syrup, added it to the chocolate chips and turned on the heat.

“Be careful with that,” Hutch snapped. “Chocolate is easy to burn and then the pot is all messed up.”

“I am bein’ careful, worrywart,” Starsky said soothingly as he stirred the melting mixture. He went on singing about wanting Santa to bring a hippo for Christmas. “‘He won’t have to use our dirty chimney flue, just bring him through the front door. It’s the easy thing to do’.”

In a few minutes the chocolate was melted and mixed with the corn syrup. Starsky took it off the heat and measured in rum and confectioners sugar, humming the hippo song as he did. Then he added the cookie crumbs and mixed the whole thing together.

Hutch watched this all silently. Finally, as Starsky put the sauce pan in the refrigerator and set a timer for fifteen minutes, he said, “You don’t really want a hippopotamus for Christmas, do you?”

For the first time Starsky looked slightly annoyed. “Whadda’ you think I am, crazy? Of course not. I just like the song.”

“With you Mushbrain, I’m never sure,” Hutch said dryly.

“Gee, thanks,” Starsky said. He broke into song again. “‘I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stair’,” he sang as he got out a cookie sheet and covered it with waxed paper. “‘Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes and see a hippo hero standing there’.”

Hutch just shook his head. “You know that song is absurd,” he said. “Even a child should know you can’t have a hippopotamus for Christmas.”

Starsky dusted the wax paper with more confectioners sugar. “You are just a killjoy,” he said to Hutch. “But you are not killin’ my Christmas spirit!” He went on with the song. “‘I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do. No crocodiles, or rhinoceroseses, I only like hippopotamuseses’.”

He waited for the timer to finish its fifteen minute countdown. “Wanna help me with the rum balls? You’ll be eaten’ them, I know!” He brought the saucepan out of the fridge.

“Oh all right,” Hutch said in resignation. “If you’ll stop the caterwauling about hippopotamuses.”

“Don’t be such a grump,” Starsky said cheerfully. “Did you know the little girl who sang that song was only 10 years old? Pretty good singin’ for that age.”

“Yeah? What was her name?” Hutch asked, intrigued despite himself. He washed his hands in the kitchen sink.

“Gayla Peevey” Starsky said. “And the song made twenty-four on the Billboard charts. She sang it on Ed Sullivan and it was so popular that her hometown zoo started a fundraising campaign to get a hippo.

Isn’t that somethin’?”

“For a song about hippos, I suppose so,” Hutch admitted. “What do we do with this stuff?” he asked, gesturing at the saucepan Starsky had put between them on the counter.

“Make little balls, an inch and a half in diameter and put ‘em on the cookie sheet,” Starsky said, demonstrating. Then he made another and popped it in his mouth. “Mmm, try one.”

Hutch rolled a ball of dough and tasted it. “Pretty good,” he agreed. “Where did you get the recipe?”

“Mrs. Dobey. The Captain loves ‘em. Don’t go eaten’ too many now,” Starsky warned. “I wanna’ have enough for everyone. Maybe have to make another batch.”

Hutch rolled a few balls and put them on the cookie sheet. “That might be a good idea,” he said.

Soon they had filled the cookie sheet. Starsky dusted the rum balls with more confectioners sugar, and rolled them around a little, then put them in a storage bag with still more sugar. He gently shook the bag until they were well coated. “Now we refrigerate them and in two days they’re ready for the gang.”

Together they cleaned the kitchen. “I’ll get more ingredients when I go shopping and make another batch tonight. Maybe roll ‘em in cocoa powder instead of sugar,” Starsky said.

“Sounds good,” Hutch said, his previous grumpiness forgotten.

They went into the cheerfully decorated living room and settled on the couch together. Starsky reached behind them and turned on the radio.

“And this is your oldies station, playing non-stop holiday favorites. Next up, from 1953, Gayla Peevey sings, ‘I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas’!”

“Oh no,” Hutch moaned. “Not again!”

“Oh yeah!” Starsky caroled, joining in, “‘I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, Only a hippopotamus will do’…”

Hutch just buried his head in his hands.

Authors note: The song ‘I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas’ was written by John Rox and sung by Gayla Peevey in 1953. It was such a hit that the Oklahoma City Zoo (Peevey lived in Oklahoma City) started a fundraising campaign to bring a hippo to the zoo before Christmas. With contributions from school children, they were successful and Mathilda the hippo came to the zoo on Christmas Eve.

I have never actually made rum balls though I love them. I just looked up a recipe on the internet and had Starsky use that.