Five Things That Never Happened in Bedside Manner

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It’s VERY IMPORTANT to read Bedside Manner first. I’m not responsible for the consequences if you don’t. Actually, the only consequence is that it won’t be as much fun. But, still! That’s pretty dire!

I blame this entirely on EH. I mean, uh, thanks sweetie! I owe you!

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1.

Starsky: My car?

Hutch: Don’t you remember? It blew up.

Starsky: Oh… yeah. I don’t like flying.

Hutch: Don’t worry, we won’t be buying the Black Baron’s plane. You were
going to get a Volvo instead.

Starsky: A Volvo? (goes back to sleep, looking worried)

2.

Starsky: My car?

Hutch: Car? What car? You’ve never owned a car. We take the bus to work
every day.

Starsky: Really?

Hutch: Yeah, but it’s a pretty red bus with a white stripe.

Starsky: S’what I thought. (goes back to sleep, smiling)

3.

Starsky: My car?

Hutch: She ran off with a handsome yellow Camaro.

Starsky: My car ran away?

Hutch: You can’t cage the ones you love, Starsky. You have to let them be
free.

Starsky: I don’ think I like that Camaro… (goes back to sleep, frowning)

4.

Starsky: My car?

Hutch: You know what? She’s fine. She’s perfect. In fact, she’s better
than perfect! She had babies.

Starsky: My car had babies?

Hutch: Yep, baby Torinos. Five of them. I’m raising them in my
greenhouse.

Starsky: Thass nice. (goes back to sleep, smiling)

5.

Starsky: My car?

Hutch: Didn’t you see her? She was just here a minute ago.

Starsky: She was?

Hutch: Yeah, but they only let one visitor in at a time. So, she’s waiting
out in the hall.

Starsky: Okay. (stares at the door, wide awake)

Hutch: Um, Starsk? I-I was kidding.

Starsky: (continues to stare at the door)

Hutch: I’m going to hell for this, aren’t I?

~the end~