It’s Too Hot to Rant

45

Hutch is hot and bothered and ranting. Starsky tries to clam him down.

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Starsky was trying his hardest to tune out Hutch’s latest rant. He knew his partner was feeling grouchy from a combination of the heat and the late night stakeout the day before. He allowed his thoughts to wander. Unfortunately, his meandering daydream about a redhead and a disco date was rudely interrupted by a question.

“Starsky, are you even listening to me?”

“Of course, I am, Blintz. It’s hard not to when you’re sitting only a foot away.”

“Well, what was I talking about then?” Hutch demanded.

Starsky cycled back through the bits and pieces of the diatribe that he had noted and said, “In a nutshell, advertisers are the spawn of the devil selling things that aren’t needed to people who can’t afford them. That about the gist?”

Hutch deflated. “Yeah.”

“I get what you’re saying, partner, but I don’t think it’s worth you getting all worked up about it. You’ll end up giving yourself a heart attack.” Hutch went to say something but Starsky put up his hand. “I ain’t finished. What about all that meditation you used to go on about? Maybe you should try doing some. You need to calm down. It’s too hot for ranting.”

There was a pause then Hutch asked, “You finished with your advice, Dr Brothers?”

Starsky nodded.

“How long till we go off shift?” Hutch asked.

Starsky checked his watch. “Thirty minutes.”

Hutch sighed.

Starsky turned the car to the right and pulled up alongside a small food truck.

“How about we spend the last thirty minutes drinking something cold under that umbrella there?” Starsky pointed to a small table and umbrella set to one side. “We’ll hear the radio if it goes off. Hopefully, it won’t.”

They climbed out of the car and Hutch made straight for the shady table while Starsky ordered sodas with plenty of ice. When he put the glasses on the table, Hutch noticed they had little umbrellas sticking out covered with writing.

“Before you say anything: yes, they’re advertising something but no, it isn’t something we don’t need.”

Hutch picked up the tiny umbrella and read aloud, “Half price burritos Wednesday 4-5.” He looked at Starsky. “It’s something I don’t need.”

“Great,” said Starsky, grabbing Hutch’s umbrella, “I’ll eat your offer too!”