Jack and Ennis Go to L.A.

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Jack and Ennis take Starsky up on his invitation, and visit him and Hutch in L.A.

 

This is a sequel to Starsky and Hutch Go to Wyoming.

As with Starsky and Hutch Go to Wyoming, this is only an AU in the “Brokeback Mountain” universe.
Thanks to ac for input and encouragement, and to executrix for giving me the idea.

---

Los Angeles, 1984

Starsky was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper one fine October Saturday when the phone rang.

“Yeah,” Starsky said, fully expecting it to be Captain Dobey calling them in.

” ‘llo? ‘llo, ‘s this Starsky?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“It’s Jack! Jack Twist. Remember? In Wyoming!”

“Jack! Well, how about that! How are you? How’s Ennis?”

“He’s fine. We’re fine. Listen, we got a week or so free, we figured we’d take you up on your offer, come out to L.A. for a bit.”

Starsky sat up in his chair. “You okay? You’re not in trouble, are you?”

“Naw–shoot! We ain’t in trouble! We just got some time ‘fore ski season starts up, figured we’d maybe get outta here, go see the world some. We ain’t never been to California.”

“Well, come on out! What day do you think you’ll get here?”

“If we leave early tomorrow, we should get there by Monday night.”

“There’s a key under the flower pot on the front porch, in case we’re not home when you get here. Let me give you directions. You got a pen?”

*******************

Hutch walked into the house, carrying a bag of groceries. He dropped his keys into a bowl on a table near the door, and headed into the kitchen. Starsky looked up from his newspaper and smiled.

“You’ll never guess who called.”

*******************

On Monday, as expected, Jack and Ennis arrived in L.A. They drove straight through from Vegas, where they’d stopped for lunch.

“Crazy place,” Ennis said.

Hutch nodded. “You stop in Salt Lake City for the night?”

“Naw, we set up camp ’bout a hundred miles from there near a town called Provo,” Jack said. Ennis gave him the smallest of smiles.

“You like camping?”

“It’s cheap,” Jack said.

“And private,” Ennis added.

“Mmmm.” Starsky nodded. He was not a fan of camping himself, but he could see its charms.

“Well, you boys must be hungry,” Hutch clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Let’s go rustle up some dinner.”

Starsky looked at him. ” ‘Rustle up’?”

“At Huggy’s,” Hutch explained.

“Oh. Yeah, let’s go, what’re we waiting for? We’ll take my car–you guys’ve done enough driving.”

*******************

When they entered the Pits, a skinny black man dressed in a patchwork denim pantsuit came over to greet them.

“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite police detectives,” he said, pronouncing it PO-lice, and exchanging Black Power handshakes with Starsky and Hutch. “I see you’ve brought some fresh meat.” He glanced at Jack and Ennis, who seemed a bit stunned by the proceedings.

Starsky grinned. “Huggy, this is Jack and Ennis. They’re a couple of country boys from Wyoming, and we’re here to show ’em a good time in the big city.”

“Well you came to the right place,” he said, showing them to a table and handing them menus. “You can order anything you like, but I would recommend the Daily Burgers. They really are superb today.”

“What makes ’em better today than any other day?” Hutch asked.

Huggy lowered his voice. “We got the grill cleaned.”

“Ah.”

“Can I get you gentlemen some drinks?”

Hutch ordered a round of beers for everyone, then turned to Ennis and Jack.

“Well, what do you think?”

“Is he a… what is he exactly?” Jack asked.

“He… is a Huggy Bear,” Starsky answered mysteriously.

“No one really knows what he is,” Hutch said. “But we love him anyway.”

*******************

After dinner at the Pits, Starsky and Hutch took Ennis and Jack to the Green Parrot.

“We are gonna show you some things you won’t see anywhere else. If you hate it, we can leave. But you gotta see it.”

When they walked through the beaded curtains at the entrance to the club, Starsky could see from their faces that Ennis and Jack had never seen anything like it, had not even imagined anything like it.

On the small stage in the front of the club stood a woman dressed like Carol Channing. Except it wasn’t a woman. “That’s Sugar,” Starsky explained.

“Helluva flirt,” added Hutch, who knew.

To their left was a bar, with lots of men buying each other drinks. On the dance floor, men were dancing with each other, ignoring Carol Channing, or standing closer to the stage, watching her act. Throughout the rest of the club, men sat at tables talking, holding hands, even kissing. There was not a woman in sight.

“I’ll get some drinks,” Starsky said, motioning toward the bar.

Hutch raised his eyebrows. “I’ll find a table.” He led their guests through the nightclub to a far corner where a couple was just getting up. They sat down, moving empty glasses and tip to the edge of the table for a waiter to pick up.

“Well, this sure is different,” Jack said, self-consciously removing his Stetson. He was looking around the room with curiosity.

Ennis was much more subdued. He tipped his cowboy hat down over his eyes and studied the tabletop.

Hutch looked at him. “Listen, if you’re not comfortable here, we can leave after one drink.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” Ennis replied.

Starsky arrived, carrying four pints of beer. “Here we go, everyone. One for you, and one for you, and one for you, and one for me.” He smiled broadly, passing out the beers. “Everybody having a good time?”

“Sure is somethin’,” said Jack.

“Ever seen anything like it?”

“No, I most surely have not,” said Jack. He was staring at one couple on the dance floor–one man was wearing a feather boa, wig, and makeup, while the other was dressed entirely in black leather. The feather-boa-wearing one stood at least 6’4″, and towered over his partner. They slow-danced, seemingly oblivious to anyone who might be watching.

“Ain’t you worried other cops might see you here?” Jack asked Starsky.

“Nah–any other cops come here, they’d want to keep quiet about it. And the Green Parrot doesn’t have any problems with cops coming in and busting up the joint.”

“We worked a case here a few years ago,” Hutch explained. “Sugar and some other people helped us catch a cop-killer. So the cops don’t give them any trouble. Besides,” he added, “anyone ever sees us here, they know we’re friends of Sugar’s. We just tell ’em we came to see her show.”

Ennis looked up from under his hat and watched Sugar’s antics onstage for a few minutes.

“She’s–I mean, HE’S a freak.” He looked down into his beer.

Hutch and Starsky exchanged a look.”

“Well, so what? She can be a freak here if she wants to be. She can be anyone she wants.”

“Sometimes, she’s Barbra Streisand,” added Starsky.

Ennis didn’t say anything. But he also didn’t ask to leave.

A waiter came by to pick up the empties and take their orders for another round.

“I think he was wearing mascara,” Jack said after he’d left. He grinned at Starsky. “Well, this place sure makes me feel like less of a freak, anyway.”

“We ain’t freaks. We ain’t no queers,” said Ennis.

“Oh, sure we are,” Jack said good-naturedly. “We are in Wyoming.” He looked around the club. “Everyone here’s so… colorful. So many different types.”

Starsky nodded. “Best thing is, folks are friendly, but they leave you alone. I can do this,” he put his hand on top of Hutch’s, “and nobody minds.”

Hutch smiled at him. “And I can do this,” he leaned over and kissed Starsky, “and no one thinks anything of it.”

“We don’t have to watch ourselves here,” Starsky said. “We don’t have to be careful.”

Jack looked at Ennis, and tried to touch his hand. But Ennis pulled away.

“No! Not in public. I don’t care if we’re in fuckin’ Australia.”

“He’s just naturally shy,” explained Jack.

“Give him time. It can take some getting used to,” Starsky said, remembering his own first reaction to Sugar and her ilk.

*******************

They stayed at Sugar’s all night. The beer eventually loosened up Ennis enough so that he took off his hat and let himself have a look around. Starsky thought he still looked uncomfortable, but not like he would bolt at any moment. Jack whispered something in his ear every so often, and Ennis smiled. Starsky noticed that Jack had his hand on Ennis’s thigh. Ennis did not remove it.

“This is my last number of the evening, folks, so grab your sweetie while you can,” Sugar announced. The piano man played the first few bars of “Moon River,” and Sugar began to sing.

“Hey, we seen that movie, ‘member, Ennis, about the girl who liked to have wild parties in New York?”

“Mmmm,” said Ennis.

Jack whispered something in Ennis’s ear again, this time kissing him lightly on the cheek.

But Ennis did not smile. “No! No way, Jack.”

“Aw please, Ennis. Come on.”

“No.”

“Come on. It’s the last song.”

“No.”

“I’ll bet you used to dance with the pretty girls before.”

Ennis said nothing.

“Ain’t I pretty enough for ya?” Jack asked softly. He looked at Ennis with those moony eyes, and Starsky hardly knew how Ennis could resist.

“I don’t like to dance. Never did.”

“Please, Ennis. Just this once?”

Starsky saw Ennis breaking down, but the song was almost over. He motioned to Hutch. Hutch nodded, went up to the stage, murmured something to the piano man and put some bills into his tip jar.

“Come on, Ennis. Nobody’ll see.”

“Everybody here.”

“They don’t give a fuck. They don’t know us.”

Silence.

“For me? Come on.” Jack rubbed Ennis’s arm, and kissed him lightly up near his ear. Ennis closed his eyes. Starsky thought he could practically see Ennis struggling with himself over this.

“Okay,” he said finally. “Just this once, Jack, I swear…”

Jack grinned broadly and stood, pulling Ennis to his feet.

Just then, Sugar said, “Well, it seems we have a request from the lovebirds over here for an encore. I never could resist flattery.” She batted her long, false eyelashes and nodded at the piano player, who started up with “Moon River” again.

Ennis turned a deep, deep crimson from his hairline to his shirt collar. Starsky was sure that was the end, that being called a lovebird by a man dressed as a woman was just more than a poor boy from Wyoming could stand. But he underestimated Jack’s powers of persuasion.

Jack pulled Ennis, who was practically immobile, to the edge of the dance floor. He put one arm around Ennis’s waist, and took his left hand in his own right hand. Starsky wondered who would lead, but that turned out not to be an issue. They barely moved, shuffling awkwardly around until finally Ennis put his head down on Jack’s shoulder. Jack smoothed Ennis’s hair, murmuring all the while in his ear.

When the song was over, and they came back to the table, Starsky noticed something about Ennis, some difference in his face. It was hard to put his finger on, but something in Ennis had softened and maybe even come undone.

“Well, they’re closing up now,” Hutch announced. “Guess we’d better go.” He threw a few dollar bills on the table, and led them out of the club. Ennis was still blushing and looking at his boots, but he let Jack hold onto his hand all the way back to the car.

*******************

Starsky had shown them to the guest room, made sure they had enough blankets and towels, and said good night. Jack and Ennis had each used the bathroom, gotten undressed, and then gotten into bed. Without a word, Jack shut the light. They lay there in the dark, silent.

“I didn’t like it there,” Ennis finally said.

“I know. I appreciate your stayin’. And dancin’.”

“I hated that. Made me feel like a big fat sissy boy.”

“You are a big fat sissy boy.”

“I ain’t, Jack! Don’t you say that.”

“You are, and I’m one too. And the sooner you admit it–”

“I will not admit it, I will not!”

“Ssshhh–be quiet! We’re guests here.”

“I ain’t no queer…”

“…the sooner you admit it, the less clenched up inside you’ll be. Look at you, tense all over. Come ‘ere.” He pulled Ennis into his arms and started rubbing his neck. “So fuckin’ tense, Ennis.”

Ennis said nothing. Jack continued to massage his neck and shoulders, planting soft kisses on the back of his neck; his jaw, his ear.

“Ennis Ennis Ennis Ennis Ennis. I wish you could just soften up, just a little inside. Just once in awhile admit you feel something ‘sides angry.”

Ennis did not say anything for a long while.

“You liked it there?” he finally asked.

“Well, guys wearing mascara and high heels are not really my style. But yeah, after I got used to it, I liked it.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t have to hide.”

Ennis seemed to consider this for awhile.

“You liked that stupid dance?”

Jack sighed. “Ennis, I wish I could tell everyone in the whole world that I love you. For now, guess I have to settle for twenty queers in a bar.” Jack paused. “I wish I could marry you, Ennis del Mar, but that ain’t gonna happen. So yeah, I liked the stupid dance.”

“Marry me? That ain’t natural.”

“Shut up. There ain’t one thing happened ‘tween you and me that’s not natural. Not one thing. So you shut up.” Jack pressed up against Ennis’s back. “You feel that?”

Ennis grunted.

“That’s my cock, Ennis. You want my cock?”

Ennis squirmed in response. Jack reached down and felt Ennis’s own cock, already hard. “Oh, you want it. You know what that makes you? Queer!”

“No!” Ennis struggled against Jack, turning to face him.

“Yes! Yes, you motherfuckin’ sonofabitch whore, yes! You’re a queer, just like me.”

“No!” Ennis said again, and then he started crying. Crying was so foreign to Ennis that his body didn’t know what to do with it. Great big racking sobs heaved through him as he lowered his head away from Jack.

But Jack would have none of it. He pulled Ennis to him and soothed him with words of comfort. ” ‘s okay, ‘s okay,” he repeated. He could feel Ennis’s tears on his cheeks, and he wiped them away. He turned Ennis around completely so that Jack was now on top of him. He kissed him softly on the cheek, the corner of his mouth, on his eyes.

“Ennis. I want to make love to you.” He had never said those words before, and was not sure how Ennis would respond.

Ennis squirmed slightly. Jack knew what he was thinking– “like a girl” — but he didn’t care. He was going to make this good for both of them.

“Softly,” he said, trailing kisses down Ennis’s chin, his neck, his chest. “Not your usual hard way. Not angry. Soft. Like this.” He continued his kissing, down, down Ennis’s chest, his broad stomach, to his sandy brown pubic hair and thick cock. He licked the tip and swirled his tongue around the head.

Jack felt Ennis grab his head and try to force it down harder, but instead he just stopped what he was doing and crawled back up to Ennis.

“Stop. Stop it, Ennis. Lemme be.” He bent down and kissed Ennis on the mouth, letting him taste himself there, then went back to sucking his cock.

Jack used his hand at the base to jack Ennis’s cock, while he licked up and down its length and swirled around its head, as though it were an ice cream cone. With his other hand he rubbed Ennis’s thigh, his ass, his belly. He could feel Ennis moving under him, deliciously, but he was keeping his hands away now.

Finally, Jack took Ennis’s cock into his mouth and sucked, steadily, rising and falling against his partner but never giving him the upper hand, never letting him lead. When he felt Ennis start pumping his hips, Jack moved away, waiting till Ennis calmed down before starting again.

He played with Ennis’s ass, his balls, all those tender places, tickling and touching him, as he sucked. Ennis moaned and moved softly beneath him; if he moved too enthusiastically, Jack stopped until Ennis stopped. Finally, Ennis reached for Jack’s hand with his own and held it tightly. Jack squeezed and Ennis squeezed back.

“Jack, I’m gonna…”

Jack speeded up his rhythm, sucking harder and taking Ennis’s cock as deep into his throat as he could, squeezing and sucking as hard as he could. His right hand held Ennis’s hip down to the bed so he couldn’t buck; his left hand held Ennis’s hand.

“Oh…” Ennis cried, and he came, hard, into Jack’s throat. Jack released Ennis’s cock enough so that he could swallow, then sucked a bit longer till he was sure Ennis was done.

Jack lay down at Ennis’s side, and murmured into his neck, “How was that?” He nibbled at Ennis’s neck and ear.

“God, Jack. God,” was all Ennis could manage.

They lay there for a bit. Then Ennis said, “What about you?”

“I have plans for me, but I want to wait till you’ve recovered a bit.”

“I’m forty years old, Jack, I don’t recover so quick.”

Jack laughed. “You do fine.” Then he said, “How was it, Ennis? Did it feel good?”

“God, Jack, it felt great.”

“I love doing that for you, Ennis. You’re so hot, you know that? You know how you turn me on? Still?” Jack nibbled some more at Ennis’s neck.

“Mmmmm.”

“I wish you would say it, Ennis.”

“Say what?”

“Anything. Any of the million things you can never say.”

Ennis was quiet for a few moments. Then he said, softly, “I love you. I love you, Jack Twist.”

“Good. That’s a good start. Anything else?”

“You are not a girl. You’re a queer, and I’m one too.” Jack could see, in the dim light, that Ennis was grinning. Jack slapped him on the shoulder.

“You see? That wasn’t so hard.” Jack leaned over and kissed him softly, on the mouth, on the corner of the mouth, on the chin.

“But I am still a man,” Ennis said.

“I never doubted that for a second,” Jack replied, his hand reaching down to check on Ennis’s recovery.

“Now turn over.”

*******************

“They are really tough, you know?” They were sitting up in bed, smoking.

“I mean, they’re out there every day, risking their lives to put away criminals and thugs. You see Hutch’s face? How old you think that shiner is?”

Jack considered this. ” ’bout a week?”

“And it’s still all shades a purple and yellow. You think it was a fist or something harder?”

“Dunno.”

Ennis took a drag on his cigarette. “You know Starsky was laid up in the hospital a few years back? Shot four times. Didn’t know if he was gonna make it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I think they’re just about the toughest guys I ever knew.”

“Queers,” Jack said matter-of-factly.

“Ain’t it somethin’,” Ennis said. “You notice they call each other ‘babe’? Front a other people, no less.”

“I noticed.”

“Ain’t it somethin’,” Ennis repeated.

“Mmm-hmmm,” Jack said, stubbing out his cigarette. “Go to sleep. Darlin’.” He smiled to himself.

Ennis put out his cigarette and got under the covers. He kissed the top of Jack’s head. “Lil’ darlin,’ ” he said, his old endearment, the one thing he could say before he could say anything else.

“Love you.”

“I love you, too. There, I said it twice in one night. Gonna be a blue moon ‘fore I say it again, jes so you know.”

“I know. I’m not spectin no miracles.”

“Good.”

“Mmmm.”

“Night.”

“Night.” Jack pulled Ennis close, and smiled again in the dark.

*******************

“How do you think that went?” Starsky asked, down the hall and an hour earlier.

“What, you mean at Sugar’s? I dunno. That Ennis is an awfully hard nut to crack.”

“Yeah. I think it went well, though.”

“You are such a fucking optimist.”

“And you’re a grouch. What’s not to be optimistic about?”

“Did you see the way he behaved? He barely talked.”

“He barely talks, ever,” Starsky replied, turning out the light. “I think it went well. He’s starting to come around.”

“You’re crazy.”

“And you’re a grouch. He’s coming around. You’ll see.”

*******************

“So, you fellas have a good time last night?” Starsky asked, smiling and pouring some coffee. They sat at the kitchen table, still groggy at 11am.

Jack blushed deeply at first, then recovered. “At the bar? Shoot yeah, we had a swell time.”

“How about you, Ennis, you have a good time?”

“It was okay,” Ennis mumbled.

“What do you have planned for today?” Hutch asked, taking a bite of his bran muffin.

“Just gonna tool around the city a bit, take in some sights. Chinese Theater and like that.”

Hutch raised his eyebrows. “Well, you should get down to Venice Beach…”

“Santa Monica pier…” Starsky added.

“West Hollywood,” Hutch said. “We’d offer to take you around ourselves, but we’ve got to get to work…”

“Big murder case…lots of media attention. Our captain’s under a lot of pressure to make an arrest, so…I don’t know when we’ll get home,” Starsky explained in a rush.

“That’s okay, we wasn’t spectin you to babysit us. We can find our way around. You got any suggestions for tonight, case we want to go out for some beers?”

“You don’t want to go back to Sugar’s?” Hutch asked, raising his eyebrows.

Jack looked at Ennis. “Nah,” he said. “Try somethin’ different. Maybe a cowboy bar?”

“Cowboy bar. Hutch, you got any ideas?”

“Well, how about the Saddle-Bar Cafe? You remember, Starsk, the place where Sue Ann sang.”

“Oh yeah, right. Nice place! Interesting entertainers.” Starsky grinned.

Jack looked wary. “You mean, like at Sugar’s?”

“Oh no, nothing like that. They just have dubious taste in picking their performers.” He paused for a moment. Then he explained, “Hutch sang there.”

Jack looked surprised. “Hutch, you sing? Hell, you shoulda said somethin’. I been known to pick up a harmonica now and then.”

“Oh, no,” Ennis lamented. “Not the harmonica.”

“Shut up, Ennis. I been practicin’, and I ain’t too bad. You play an instrument?”

“Guitar and piano.”

“Well hell, maybe we can have ourselves a little jamboree before we leave. Starsky, how ’bout you, you play?”

“No, but I sing.”

Hutch rolled his eyes. “He means that in the loosest possible sense.”

“If we get home in time, we can have a sing-along,” Starsky said, ignoring Hutch. “In the meantime, let me write down some of these places for you.” He got a pen and a piece of paper from the telephone table and started writing places and general directions. Next to West Hollywood, he put an asterisk. “They have lots of…interesting stores there. You don’t wanna miss it,” he winked at Jack, and then he and Hutch grabbed their jackets and holsters, downed the last of their coffees, and left.

*******************

Jack and Ennis drove around the city, stopping at some of the places they’d heard of and some of the places they hadn’t. They took each other’s pictures in front of the Chinese Theater, and watched the muscle men on Venice Beach. They ate cotton candy and rode the Ferris wheel on Santa Monica pier.

Finally, they drove to West Hollywood, and parked on Melrose Avenue. They walked around for a few minutes before Jack understood why Starsky had put an asterisk next to this place.

Jack glanced nervously at Ennis, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Let’s go in here,” Jack said at a place called Leather and Lace. He opened the door and Ennis stepped in after him. The store was well air-conditioned, with aisles full of leather and vinyl and plastic things that Jack had never seen before.

Jack chose an aisle and walked down it. He felt that old fear, that quickening of the heart, the certainty that someone would see him, someone would find out. But he tamped it down inside and made himself go on, one foot in front of the other. He was looking for something familiar, something he’d know what to do with, something that didn’t frighten him.

He wondered how Ennis was doing–Ennis, who was usually more scared than he. It was for Ennis that he tried to appear brave and eager when very often he was terrified by all the things he didn’t know. Sometimes he felt like he was driving this truck alone in the dark; this was the main reason he’d decided to take Starsky up on his offer. He needed a guide.

But Ennis, it turned out, was doing okay on his own. Jack found him in the book aisle, reading.

“Whatcha readin’ there, partner?” Jack asked, before lifting the book so he could read its cover. It was called Men Loving Men. Ennis blushed crimson but did not put the book down.

“Learnin’ anything there?”

“Yep,” said Ennis, without looking up.

“Well, you’re so interested maybe you should buy it. I got some purchases to make myself.” He grinned and held up a bottle of massage oil and a tube of lube. “This’ll be better’n that Vaseline we been using, I’ll bet.”

They paid at the counter, the clerk barely looking at them, Ennis shuffling his feet. Carrying their purchases in a plain brown bag, they went out into the sunshine.

“Wanna walk around a bit more?” Jack asked.

“Okay.”

“Just a few minutes, though. I’m kinda eager to get back to the house and try these things out.”

“Me too,” Ennis said, smiling his half-smile. Jack smiled back, happy.

*******************

That afternoon, after some strenuous and slightly experimental lovemaking, Jack and Ennis dozed. Ennis woke up first, sobbing. Sometimes this happened. Jack put his arms around him, held Ennis to his own body, soothed him.

” ‘s okay, ‘s okay, everything’s okay. What was it, bad dream?”

Ennis nodded, shivering.

“Sshh, honey, sshh.”

“It was my parents. They was leavin’, sayin’ goodbye, that they wouldn’t be back.”

Jack nodded. This was not an unusual dream for Ennis. Jack said what he always said. “I ain’t leavin’ you, Ennis. I ain’t never gonna leave.”

“You will when you die.”

“That ain’t gonna be for a long time. Sshh.” He smoothed Ennis’s hair down and kissed his forehead. ” ‘s okay. You’re safe now. Safe and warm with me. Go back to sleep.”

*******************

That night, Ennis and Jack went to the Saddle-Bar Cafe alone, because Starsky and Hutch were working late. The bar was dark and smoky, and there were peanut shells and sawdust on the floor. Jack and Ennis walked over to the bar and ordered a couple of beers.

“This is more like it,” Ennis said. “This is what a bar should be, not men walking around in high heels.”

Jack nodded, then turned to the bartender. “Hey, buddy, who’s playing tonight?” He pointed at the empty stage.

“Nobody on t’night, I’m afraid. Last minute cancellation. Yer welcome to play the jukebox, though.” He wiped down the bar right in front of them.

“You from L.A.?” Jack asked.

“Me? Naw. Montana, originally. Been here five years, though.” He wore a Stetson and spoke with a twang.

“You like it?”

“It’s okay. I like people, and there sure are a whole lot more here than in Montana.”

Jack grinned. “I know what you mean. Me and Ennis here’re from Wyoming, and we seen more people last two days than we did all last year.”

The bartender nodded at Ennis. “He talk?”

“Only if he has to.” Jack grinned, and held out his hand. “Jack Twist. Pleased to meet you. This here’s Ennis del Mar, my partner.”

“Jimmy Shank,” the bartender said, shaking hands. “Partner?”

“We own a ranch together. Raise sheep and take in guests.”

“Married?”

“Divorced.”

Jimmy nodded sympathetically and dried a glass. “Lots of those in these parts. Jukebox is full of songs about ’em. ‘Scuse me,” he said, and went to tend to another customer.

“Don’t it bother you?” Ennis finally spoke.

“What?”

“He thinks we’re some sorta miserable divorced fellas, when we’re really in love.”

“Sshh, not here.”

“Oh, I see, so there’s some places we can and some places we can’t.”

“You know that’s the way it is, Ennis, don’t play dumb,” Jack said sharply. “Besides, you’re the one didn’t want to go back to Sugar’s.”

Ennis scowled into his beer. Jack went over to the jukebox, put some quarters in and made his selections. When he got back to the bar, Jimmy was back.

“So you boys visiting family?”

“Friends.”

“You been to the Chinese Theater yet? Yeah? How about Ventura Beach? You should try to get there, maybe Malibu, though I don’t know if that’s your style. Beach is pretty this time a year, and not too many people there to ruin it.”

“Well, maybe we’ll get out there, then.”

“Try driving through Topanga Canyon, too. Real pretty place.”

“Will do.”

“Stay away from West Hollywood, though. Don’t think you’d like that place much.”

Jack felt his stomach tighten.

“Why’s that?”

Jimmy kept drying glasses. “Buncha queers over there. Just a generally unpleasant place.”

Ennis looked up. Jack felt his own face freeze into a familiar, stony smile.

“Queers?”

“Yeah, you know, queers, fairies, fags. You don’t wanna mix with those freaks.”

“Oh. Well, I wouldn’t know. We don’t get many of those in Wyoming.”

“Oh, they’re everywhere, you just don’t know it. Careful they don’t steal your daughters.”

Jack laughed. “Now that don’t make any sense.”

The bartender scowled. “Or your sons. Or your sheep. You know what I mean.”

“Yes I do, sir, yes I do. Don’t want no fairies ruining our Christian country.”

“Got that right,” said Jimmy.

Jack could feel Ennis fuming. He waited till Jimmy was tending to another customer before turning to him. “Calm down,” he said. “We don’t need to get into no barroom brawl here.”

“That asshole,” Ennis seethed. “What’s it his business?”

“Ain’t his business. Ain’t nobody’s business.”

“Let’s just get outta here.”

“Just finish up your beer. Don’t make it too obvious.”

Ennis glowered and drank his beer. One of the songs Jack had chosen came on the jukebox.

I could waltz across Texas with you,

Waltz across Texas with you in my arms,

Waltz across Texas with you.

Like a storybook ending, I’m lost in your charms,

And I could waltz across Texas with you.

“That’s one of my favorites,” said Ennis.

“Mine, too,” said Jack. He put his empty glass next to Ennis’s. “Let’s go.”

*******************

The house was dark except for the blue light of the television when Starsky and Hutch arrived home. Jack and Ennis were sitting in silence, drinking beers and staring at the screen.

“Hey, what are you two doing here? Thought you’d be out till all hours,” Starsky said, turning on a light and getting beers for himself and Hutch.

“Nah, we decided to head home early. Had a long day,” Jack said, staring straight ahead.

Starsky looked at the tv. A commercial for dishwashing soap was on. He turned it off.

“What happened?”

“Asshole at the Saddle-Bar Cafe started talkin’ ’bout faggots,” Ennis mumbled.

Starsky looked concerned. “You didn’t get into a fight, did you?”

“Naw, we jus’ left.”

“Good,” Starsky said.

Hutch sat down on the couch, near Ennis. “You know, things like that are gonna happen. You’re gonna have to figure out a way to deal with it, so you don’t get hurt.”

“I’m sick a lyin’,” said Jack.

Hutch shook his head. “You don’t have to lie, exactly. Just make it clear that you won’t stand for that kind of talk. Like if someone we were with started saying things against black people. We wouldn’t just keep quiet. We’d make it clear that we weren’t gonna stand for that kind of talk.”

“Well, but you’re not black, everyone can see that. We start defending queers, people’ll think we’re queer too.”

“You can’t let ’em get to you,” Starsky said. “Just shrug it off, and leave.” Turning to Jack, he said, “Hey, it’s still early. I got an idea–why don’t you get out your harmonica, and Hutch’ll get his guitar, and we can sing some songs!” Starsky clapped his hands together and smiled expectantly.

“Good idea, Starsk. Jack, you got that handy? What kinda songs do you know?” Hutch asked, reaching for his guitar, which was leaning against a wall.

“Oh, I know a bunch a spirituals, some hymns, some old Carter Family songs.”

“You know ‘Wildwood Flower’?”

Jack grinned. “I sure do!”

“Well, alright then, let’s do it. And afterward, I can teach you ‘Black Bean Soup.’ ”

“‘Black Bean Soup,’ what’s that?”

“Oh, just a little ditty that I wrote myself,” Hutch said, looking at his shoes.

“Don’t be modest, Hutch,” Starsky said. “That little ditty got you lots of ass. Back in the old days, of course,” he hurriedly explained, grinning. “Before you realized all you needed was mine.”

*******************

The next night, their last night there, Jack and Ennis went back to Sugar’s. Starsky and Hutch were working late on their case and promised to meet them later if they could.

They found a table and ordered beers. Jack took off his hat, and Ennis left his on. But he looked out from under it now, instead of looking down at the table.

“These people–I just don’t get ’em,” he said.

“They’re just people,” Jack said philosophically. Ennis couldn’t really disagree with that. He took a long swig of beer. He didn’t say anything for a long while. He looked like he was trying to work something out in his head.

“You ain’t fixin’ a wear mascara, are ya Jack?” he finally asked.

Jack let out a whooping laugh. “No! Where’d ya get a crazy idea like that?”

“Well, you seem to like it here so much…”

“I told you, that’s because we don’t have to be afraid here. Not because I wanna start dressin’ like a woman!” He put his hands over Ennis’s on the table. “I just wanna be able to do this…” He leaned over and kissed Ennis’s cheekbone, his ear. “…and this.”

Ennis did not pull away, but he said, “Yeah, well don’t get too used to it. We go back to Jackson tomorrow, and you can’t do that in Jackson.”

“Maybe someday…”

“Someday’s a long ways away.”

*******************

They did not have a bad time at Sugar’s. When a couple of drag queens came over to flirt with them, Ennis didn’t say much but he didn’t get angry, and Jack was friendly and talked to them for awhile.

After they left, Ennis said, “One good thing ’bout Wyoming, I ain’t got no competition for your affections.”

“Aw, shucks, Ennis, you know my heart belongs only to you. All the pretty queers in the world couldn’t lure me away.” Jack grinned.

Ennis smiled his thin-lipped smile. “Glad to hear it.”

They fell into easy conversation. Nobody bothered them, and they didn’t feel afraid. Ennis had to finally admit that he didn’t mind Sugar’s so much after all.

*******************

Starsky and Hutch showed up just after midnight. They spotted Jack and Ennis and headed over.

“Hey guys, having a good time?” Starsky greeted them.

“We’re havin’ a great time,” Jack said. “Glad you two could make it.”

“Us, too,” Starsky said. “This case is killing us.”

“What kinda case is it? Can you say?”

“Sure, it’s all over the news,” Hutch replied. “Guy got stabbed six times. Very unusual pattern. Found the body outside an amateur fighting club. We’ve got a suspect but no weapons.” He motioned to a waiter and ordered some beers.

“Very bizarre,” Starsky agreed. “The suspect doesn’t even deny it. Just says he can’t remember.”

“Wow,” Jack grinned. “Sounds like some excitin’ life.”

“Oh it’s not that exciting, usually. Lots of drudge work, when we’d rather be having fun–like here with you guys! So–what’s been going on? Didja get propositioned yet?” Starsky winked at Ennis.

Ennis blushed and looked down. “Couple a men dressed like ladies came over for a bit. Other’n that, it’s just been us two here.”

“Yeah, and how’s that been?”

Ennis looked up from under his hat. ” ‘s okay,” he said.

“Better’n last night?” Starsky asked, serious.

“Hell yeah.”

“Good.” Then his smile returned. “Hey, did we ever tell ya about the time Hutch slow-danced with Huggy here? No? Well, we were working this case…”

*******************

Starsky awoke to the sound of the alarm at 7 o’clock. Hutch was already awake.

“You’re up,” Starsky said groggily.

“Mmm-hmmm. My favorite time of day.” He pulled Starsky to him and stroked his neck.

“What were you doing?”

“Listening to you breathe,” Hutch said, reaching down to touch the bullet scars on Starsky’s back.

“Mmm,” Starsky murmured into Hutch’s chest. “Think they’ll be okay?”

“Who? Oh, Jack and Ennis?” Hutch sighed. “I don’t know. Why wouldn’t they be?”

“Jack lies to Ennis. He told me last night that he has to. Ennis is pretty fucked up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ennis… Ennis has never admitted that he’s attracted to other guys. He thinks Jack ‘made him’ gay.”

“Oh brother.”

“Jack pretends that during the ten years they were apart, he only fucked women, and that he’s not attracted to other men either.”

Hutch frowned.

“I think I should have a talk with Ennis,” Starsky said.

“Don’t meddle, Starsk. They have to find their own way.”

“But–”

“Look, you did the right thing, inviting them here. I think it’s helped Ennis a lot. But there’s not much more you can do. They come from a different world–do you think they know about Stonewall? Do they even know about AIDS?”

Starsky shook his head. “Dunno.”

“You don’t think Jack still–”

“No. They’re monogamous now. But ten years ago…”

“Well, maybe we should talk to them about that. But besides that, what can we do? We can’t change the place they’re from, or the way they were raised. We can’t tell Ennis that he should see a psychiatrist.” Hutch smirked at the thought, though he knew he shouldn’t. “They have to figure things out for themselves.”

Starsky considered this. “Should I tell Jack to tell Ennis the truth?”

“Don’t meddle.”

“But–”

“Starsky. We live in a city, with lots of different people all around us. It’s different for them. They’re isolated.”

“It’s bad to keep secrets from your partner.”

“I don’t know. I think telling Ennis might do more harm than good.”

“But what about Jack? Don’t you think it hurts him, not being able to tell Ennis the truth?”

Hutch was quiet.

“Starsky…”

“I know, I know. Don’t meddle.”

*******************

“That was amazin’,” Ennis breathed, rolling off Jack and collapsing onto the twisted bedsheets, his body shining with sweat. “I love that book. Son of a bitch I fuckin’ love that book. Can you be in love with a book?”

Jack smiled but said nothing. He wanted to talk to Ennis about something, and he wondered if this was the right time.

“En, I need to talk to you ’bout somethin’.”

“Yeah? Well, shoot,” Ennis said, lighting a cigarette.

“En, I’m serious. I’m scared about telling you this.”

“Why?”

“I’m afraid you’ll hate me, or leave me, or both.”

Ennis pulled Jack close. “Don’t be silly, boy. I ain’t gonna leave ya, and I couldn’t hate ya. What’s on yer mind?”

“You know how we always say that we’re not really queer? That we ain’t the same as them fags down in Austin?”

Ennis nodded and took a drag on his cigarette. Jack took a deep breath.

“Well, it ain’t true. I’m queer. I been queer since I was a boy. I’m queer and I always knew it.”

Ennis was silent. Jack continued.

“Those ten years we was apart, ‘cept for some campin’ trips now and then? I didn’t screw no whores. Well, I did, ‘cept they was guys. Guy whores.”

Ennis swung his legs around the side of the bed and hunched over, his back to Jack.

“I’m sorry, En, I didn’t mean to be cheatin’ on you. I always thought a you, no matter who I was doin’,” he said softly. “But I’m sick a pretendin’ it was girls. I’m sick a pretendin’ I’m lookin’ at girls. It ain’t girls. I don’t care much for girls. I don’t hate ’em, but I don’t care much for ’em, not like you.”

Ennis was still silent.

“En? You goin’ a say somethin’ ever?”

Ennis got up and silently left the room. Jack sighed, and lay back against the headboard.

*******************

“Starsk?”

“Hmmm?”

“All that skirt chasing we used to do, that wasn’t just a lie, was it?”

“No! I wasn’t lying. I like girls, you know I do!”

“I know.”

“I mean, maybe I exaggerated a little…”

“Uh huh.”

“And, you know, if there was a guy I thought was… cute…”

“Mmm?”

“…I just didn’t say anything.”

Hutch looked up. “Why not?”

Starsky shrugged. “I thought you might be disgusted.”

Hutch smiled. “That’s funny. I thought the same about you.”

“It’s good that we can talk like this, that we don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

“I know, Starsk, but it’s not the same for them. They’re not like us.”

*******************

When Starsky got downstairs, Jack was already making coffee.

“Hope you don’t mind,” he said, and he looked up at Starsky with those sad eyes, the corners of his mouth turned down, so Starsky knew.

“What’s wrong?”

*******************

Ennis was out in the greenhouse when Hutch found him.

“Kind a plant’s this one?” Ennis asked, fingering the thin, oval-shaped leaf of a plant on the table in front of him.

“That’s a ficus.”

“Hmmm.” Ennis seemed to study it.

“Ennis, something happen between you and Jack?”

Ennis said nothing, looking at the ficus.

“Do you want to talk about it? No, of course not, what am I saying? Listen, let me tell you something.” Hutch pointed his index finger at Ennis. “You’ve got a good thing going there with Jack. Don’t blow it, just because he told you something you didn’t want to hear.”

Ennis looked up, surprised.

“Yeah, I know, so what? He did a gutsy thing, telling you something like that. But you know, that’s what a relationship is. You love each other, warts and all. You should know that by now.”

“You and Starsky got warts?”

“Of course we do. But we trust each other enough so we don’t have to hide them. You trust Jack?”

“Hell, yeah. With my life.”

“Well, if you want him to keep trusting you, you better get inside there and tell him you still love him. Otherwise, you’re gonna make him keep keeping secrets until one day he’s going to leave and you won’t even know why.” Hutch poked Ennis in the chest for emphasis.

Ennis looked down again. “I’m not much good at this stuff.”

“All you have to do is try. Show him that you’re trying and he’ll help you.”

Ennis looked up hopefully.

“You know it’s true,” Hutch said.

“How do you know so much?”

“I know,” Hutch said. “I know.”

*******************

When Ennis walked into their room, Jack was packing.

“What’re you doin’?”

“I’m packin’.”

“What for?”

“We’re leavin’ today, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Ennis paused. “You packin’ just yer stuff or mine too?”

Jack looked at him. “Whaddaya think? Both a ours, a course.”

“Oh.” Ennis hesitated, then sat down on the bed. “I’m sorry ’bout before. Guess I didn’ know what to say.”

Jack didn’t say anything. He folded another shirt and placed it in their duffle bag. Ennis shifted uncomfortably.

“I guess I shouldn’ a walked out, but I needed a think for a bit. By myself. You know how that is.”

Jack folded another shirt, and a pair of jeans.

“Anyways. I’m not mad at ya. I’m just surprised is all. I don’t want you to think you can’t tell me things. You can tell me anything, I swear, I’ll try to understand.”

Jack stopped folding things, sat down beside Ennis on the bed, and took him in his arms.

“I try to act all tough, Jack, but really I’m a coward. You’re much braver ‘n me.”

“Sssh, you’re not a coward, and I ain’t that brave.”

“Sure you are, always have been.” Ennis was sobbing softly now.

“Well, you’re a better shot. So that makes us even.” That made Ennis laugh a little.

“You’re better at sayin’ what you’re feelin’. Sometimes I’m not even sure what I’m feelin’.”

“Well, you’re doin’ pretty good right now.” Jack brushed Ennis’s cheek, wiping away a tear with the back of his hand.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I know,” Jack said, and smiled.

*******************

Jack and Starsky sat on the porch steps in the mid-morning sunshine. Ennis was upstairs packing up a few last things, and Hutch was still in the greenhouse.

“Sometimes I get tired a havin’ a be so careful with him, always afraid I might say the wrong thing or say it too soon,” Jack said.

“Always afraid?” Starsky asked.

“Not always. And just about certain things.”

“Out here in California we have something called couples counseling,” Starsky began, then thought better of it. “Anyway, I don’t think it would work for you two. I think you have to figure things out on your own. But you shouldn’t be afraid to tell each other stuff. That’s no good.”

“I know.”

“You’re probably gonna have to explain this to him. You’re gonna be the one doing all the work, but you probably already know that.”

“Yeah, he’s not real good at sayin’ how he feels. But he does other kinds a work, like taking care a the ranch and stuff,” Jack grinned.

Starsky slapped him on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Hey,” he added, almost casually, “Hutch thought I should give you this.” He took a pamphlet out of his back pocket. “You heard of AIDS?”

Jack shook his head slowly, taking the pamphlet. “Naw, what is it?”

“Read this carefully, and make sure Ennis does, too. You’re probably okay, but you should know about it. Maybe go get yourself tested.”

Jack looked worried. Starsky slapped his shoulder again, and smiled.

“You’re probably fine, don’t worry about it. Hey!” he called to Hutch, who had just come around the side of the house. “You ready to say goodbye to our visitors?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Hutch squinted in the sun. “Where’s Ennis?”

“He’s finishin’ packin’. Hope to make Cedar City by dinner time.”

“You shouldn’t have any trouble, long as you don’t hit traffic.”

Ennis came downstairs with their duffle, and Jack stood up.

“Well, guys. Thanks for everything. We had a great time,” Jack said.

“Yeah, great,” Ennis echoed.

The four men shook hands.

“Maybe you take us up on that offer, come out next summer?” Jack looked at Starsky and raised one eyebrow hopefully.

“Maybe we will,” Starsky grinned. “And you boys–don’t be strangers. Remember, our door is always open. If you ever need anything, we’re a phone call away.”

“Sure do appreciate it, Starsky. And Hutch,” he smiled at them both again, then said “come on” to Ennis, and they got in the truck and pulled away, waving. Starsky and Hutch, standing in the driveway, waved back.

*******************

It wasn’t till they’d been driving for two hours that Jack finally pulled out the pamphlet that Starsky had given him and handed it to Ennis.

“Read this.”

” ‘Everything You Need to Know About AIDS’,” Ennis read aloud. “What’s AIDS?”

“I dunno. I didn’t have a chance to read it.”

Ennis read silently. After a bit, Jack saw his face go pale and his jaw clench. He kept reading. Jack didn’t say anything. He kept his eyes on the road and waited for Ennis to speak.

Finally, he did.

“It’s a fag disease. It’s a fuckin’ fag disease. No, I mean, it’s a fag fuckin’ disease.” Jack could feel Ennis’s rage, but he was still startled when Ennis kicked the glove box in disgust.

“Well, what does it say?” Jack asked calmly. “How do you get it?”

“You get it from fuckin’ a lot of fags,” Ennis said, and threw the pamphlet at Jack, so that it hit his leg and fell to the car floor.

Jack thought about pulling over so they could have this out, but instead decided to keep driving and wait for Ennis to cool down.

After about fifteen minutes, he said, “So, I guess we don’t have to worry, ’cause we’ve only fucked each other.”

Ennis turned his head and glared at him.

“That was a long time ago,” Jack said. “I’m sure… Starsky said we probably didn’t have nothin’ to worry about. When did it start? How come we never heard of it?”

“We never heard of hardly anythin’,” Ennis grumbled. He made no move to pick up the pamphlet. Jack reached over and rubbed his leg.

“I’m sure it’s nothin’, En. We should prolly find out more about it and get tested or somethin’, but I’m sure we don’t have it.”

“We better not,” Ennis said, still angry, the anger back, the anger probably not ever really going away. Jack sighed, and kept driving.

*******************

In Cedar City, they pulled off the highway and found a place to have dinner. It was a friendly diner where the special was meatloaf and the waitress came over every two minutes to check that they were okay.

Ennis was still quiet. He’d been quiet the whole day. Jack was used to days like this, but sometimes he got tired of them.

“You ever gonna talk, or am I gonna hafta talk for two? We still got three hours or so before bed, am I gonna hafta amuse myself all that time?”

Ennis didn’t say anything. He took another forkful of mashed potatoes, and took a swallow from his bottle of Coke.

Jack tried another tack. “My momma always said never go to bed mad. Course I never know how she ever slept since she was mad at my dad ‘most all the time.”

Ennis snickered, but kept eating his mashed potatoes.

“I thought you said before you were gonna try and understand.”

Ennis looked up from his plate. “Jack, if you got us both sick–” he whisper-hissed across the table.

“What, like I got us both gay? It’s all my fault, is that it?”

Ennis looked away.

“You wasn’t exactly turning me out a yer bed. So don’t blame me. Wasn’t all me.”

“Yer the one slept with them whores.”

“You wasn’t exactly celibate neither. I read that pamphlet when we stopped for gas. You can get it from girls, too.”

“Not likely.”

“Possible.”

The waitress came over to see if they needed anything. Jack said “no, ma’am” and smiled. When she was out of earshot, he continued.

“It’s stupid to be fightin’ when we ain’t even sick. We get back home, we make appointments get ourselves tested. Stupid to fight when we don’t even know.”

Ennis shook his head.

“Uh-uh. No way. We get tested everybody in Jackson’ll hear about it.”

“We get tested in Denver.”

“Denver? We don’t know no doctors in Denver.”

“Doesn’t matter. There’s a number, back a the pamphlet. We call, they give us the name of a place we can get tested, any city we want. We drive down there, get tested, no one needs to know it.”

Ennis considered this for awhile, chewing a bite of meatloaf.

“Okay, we go to Denver. But Jack, if I’m sick, I swear–”

“I know. You’ll kill me,” Jack said dully. “But what if you’re not? What if you’re okay, and I’m sick? What then? You ever thought a that?”

Ennis looked stricken. He pushed away his plate and took a big swallow of Coke. He was quiet as Jack paid the bill, and followed him wordlessly out to the truck.

*******************

The moon was rising in the darkening sky when they pulled off the road just outside the Cedar City limits. Jack drove until he found a secluded spot off a dirt road and hard by a small creek, where they could get water for their morning wash. There was brush but no trees, which meant they’d be woken early by the sun beating down through the thin nylon tent. But this time of year it wouldn’t be too hot, and they needed to get an early start anyway.

Ennis helped Jack pitch the tent and arrange their bedrolls inside it. When they were done, they stood, staring at a patch of ground just outside the tent.

“Fire?” Jack asked.

“It’s awful dry.”

“Yeah. Better not. Don’t really need one, I reckon.”

“Nah. Time for bed, anyway.” Ennis grinned. Jack checked his watch. It was quarter to eight. Jack raised his eyebrows, surprised.

“You wanna fuck? What if I’m sick.”

“If yer sick, I may as well be.”

“Naw, don’t talk that way,” Jack shook his head. Ennis came over and put his arm around Jack.

“I’m sure we can figure somethin’ out. You lock up the truck yet? Make sure you get the rifle.”

“I know, I know,” Jack said, heading back to the truck.

“And a flashlight. And that book!”

“Boy, Ennis, I never knew you could be so interested in a book.”

“Not a book so much as an instruction manual,” Ennis mumbled. He wondered how they’d done without one for so long.

*******************

Later, they dozed, lying on their sides, Ennis pressed up against Jack’s back, one hand beneath him on the ground, and the other around Jack. Jack clasped Ennis’s hand tightly to his chest. Soon enough they’d fall asleep and drift into their own separate spaces, but for now they enjoyed this closeness.

For awhile, there was no sound except the sound of the wind and a distant coyote. Finally Ennis spoke.

“If you were sick, Jack, I’d take care a you.”

Jack squeezed Ennis’s hand. “I’d take care a you too. You know that.”

“Yeah.”

“We take care a each other.”

Neither spoke. They lay like that, close together, listening to each other’s breathing, until sleep finally came.

The End

 

---

Chapter End Notes:

A note on the timeline of AIDS: While writing this story, I learned that 1984 was a bit too early for AIDS testing. However, there was a Hepatitis B test at the time that was a reliable indicator of AIDS, which the boys could have gone for. A lot of things about AIDS were not yet common knowledge in 1984. I really wanted to have this story happen one year after the previous story, though, so I did some time compression. I also figured that, dealing with junkies and prostitutes, as well as gay people, Starsky and Hutch would be more aware than most about what was going on with AIDS. Anyway, please don’t hold me to the timeline. It’s possible that there were no AIDS tests available in Denver in 1984. But there would be soon.