Nightmare Unrelenting

419

The partners struggle to come to terms with a devastating sexual assault on Starsky.

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All was peachy in Starsky’s world that innocuous Monday morning. There was no single clue, nor even the slightest hint of the devastation to come. In fact, Starsky felt on top of the world, the early air giving promise of a blistering day meaning cut-off denims, hosepipes and mojitos. It was as perfect a start to a vacation as he’d ever remembered and with joy in his heart, he mentally checked off his list to be thankful.

Homicide had been brutal. Endless cases which might never be trialled (or some even solved), jostled with heists and rapes and assaults on the public and had tied Starsky’s time for nearly a month. There were near five thousand divisional cops in Bay City, just a spit in the wind when faced with their duties and foreseeing burnout, Starsky and Hutch had wisely demanded a week out from it all.

Hutch. Starsky’s eyes softened as he thought of his partner. As affected as anyone by the bulk of the workload, Hutch had still found time to suggest all the right things, to be done with the rentals and look for a place. This wouldn’t be no get rich quick scheme of Starsky’s like the long malingering, ‘doer-upper,’ That would have to go, along with the extortionate fees on the treehouse and plush Venice Place, but none of it mattered all the time the sun shone. Hutch wanted to live with Starsky. He’d shown his hand in the truest of ways, by conceding his home in making the offer.

It was all coming true, Starsky’s mad dream, the one that he’d had since academy days. It might have been years before they fell into bed, but when they finally fell, they fell hard and forever. It hadn’t been easy of course. Memories of John Blaine’s revelations had kept them cautious and even now only a few precious friends knew of their status. Huggy had been cool of course, in his own inimitable style,

“If a guy puts his bits where another guy shits, but it gives ‘em the hits, bring ‘em into ‘The Pits’!”

Dobey had been pragmatic on hearing the news, recognising the courage it had taken his detectives to admit to a love he’d seen brewing for years. Others might wonder why the partners were no longer the fabled babe-magnets of times begone, but Starsky and Hutch remained tight-lipped, determined that no one else mattered nor needed to know.

And now it was precious holiday time! An afternoon of fun round the grill, then beers at Huggy’s and maybe a night at a club whose prices decreed they’d ignore two men who had eyes for each other… Starsky ticked off the things on his list. The onions were sliced and the sodas were chilling. He’d no doubt need to revisit the butcher, whatever Hutch’s guess of their needs. There were never enough burgers with the Captain around and his kids would sure love some candy…

So, there’d been no premonition, no blinding light as Starsky stood dousing his lawn at that early hour. There was no recognition as a vaguely familiar face looked him over in the 7-Eleven. There was no warning as the sharp pain in his hip made him wince slightly, then caused him to fall…

“Hutchinson! Stop whatever you’re doing and make down to Metro as fast as you can!”

“Oh, come on, Captain, we’re on vacation, as well you know, being a guest of ours this afternoon—”

“Hutch, I’ve got strong reason to believe Starsky was snatched by a person unknown this morning, so get moving now!”

Hutch got moving.

“Capt’n what’ya got?”

“Okay, Hutch first things first, you didn’t stay with Starsky last night?”

“No, I was busy clearing out my apartment and Starsk was prepping things for the barbeque.”

“When did you last speak to Starsky?”

“Um, late last night by phone, yesterday afternoon in person. Oh please, Cap, tell me this isn’t happening again…”

“Ok, this is what we got. We have a witness who saw some sort of altercation, a guy collapsed and another guy dragged him into a blue Ford. Now the witness isn’t particularly credible, he’s a junkie wanting a fix and will sell his soul to get his hands on some cash.”

“Why are we giving him any credence then?”

“Because when the black n’ whites turned up, they found a car by the 7-Eleven with its door hanging open – Starsky’s Torino.”

“Oh my God, you tried his place?”

“Hell, Hutch, a course I did! You were my next call!”

“Okay…okay, just give me five minutes with this damn witness…”

Leon Garcia was amazed his alert had brought such attention. When the tall blond detective waved a cool fifty in front of his eyes, his guts were only too willing to spill.

“Well, there were these two guys kinda close to one another and then one sorta collapsed right in front a’ my eyes!”

“What did he look like?”

“What the fallin’ guy? He was … swarthy, dark hair, curly. He had a red shirt and blue jeans. And sneakers! Yeah, he had blue an’ white sneakers! Well, he kinda slid down an’ then the other one sorta’ hustled him into a blue car. You wanna up that fifty for all this intel?”

“What about the other guy, what did he look like?”

“Uh, I dunno, I was lookin’ at the fallin’ one! Uh, blond maybe, mousey brown? Say if I remember a bit better, then you gonna up that fifty?”

“Pal, if you remember enough to save my partner, I’ll triple it and then some, but in the meantime, here’s your filthy junk money, now beat it!”

“You let Garcia go?”

“He didn’t clock the perp, Captain, his eyes were on Starsky and it was Starsky, I’m sure of it. Said he slid to the ground so he was either knifed or jabbed with something, there were no reports of any gunshots. We know where the witness hangs out and he’s too hungry for money to wanna go far… God dammit, Captain we can’t lose Starsky again, we just can’t!”

“Cool it, Hutch, we found him before, we can find him again, we just gotta find out who snatched him and why…”

Starsky gradually came to awareness. He didn’t hurt anywhere and he didn’t feel that he’d lost consciousness, but he also had little idea how come one minute he’d been buying sweets in the 7-Eleven and the next appeared to be tied up in some rotten old house. He also had no notion as to how he came to be naked, but he felt kinda high and didn’t really care too much about that. He tested the bonds which held him. The knots weren’t expertly tied, but they were sure gonna stop lil’ ol’ Starsky goin’ anywhere in any real hurry so he took stock of his surroundings. It was a house or an old shop maybe and from the level of light and a cold he sensed rather than felt, he guessed it might be a basement. Some musty old chairs were stacked to one side and Starsky surmised no one’s ass had graced their seats in years. Apart from a few scattered crates, some yellowing papers and the occasional drip of faraway water, there were no further clues as to where he might be, so Starsky stopped wondering. He was obviously here for a reason, and suddenly amused by a passing spider, he guessed enlightenment would just have to wait…

“Hutch, we got nothing on the Simon Marcus cult. He’s apparently a changed man behind bars, seems to have lost his magical powers after losing a few teeth courtesy of his pad mates. The followers who were also taken down seem to be wondering how the hell they got there and those released have now been reintegrated into their own communities.”

“So Marcus is a dead-end? Damn!”

“Yeah, this is someone else’s doing. We did pull something from the computer that might be of interest. Robert Lumis was released three weeks ago, on condition he made daily contact with his probation office. So far, the officer’s heard nothing from him and now nobody seems to know where Lumis is…”

“Mousy Lumis? What the hell’s he doing out, he was one of those two scumbags sent down for attacking Lisa!”

“No, Hutch, Nicholas Manning was convicted for rape and attempt murder, Lumis was only charged for aid and abet plus a few tacked-on larceny charges. He was paroled for good behaviour.”

“What would Lumis want with Starsky?”

“I’ve no idea, but it’s all we’ve currently got and if nothing else, we can bring him in for breaking his parole conditions.”

Prison officer Dean Phillips didn’t like cops and didn’t like talking to them. Cops could be trouble and more trouble was something he sure didn’t need, he got plenty of that from his night shifts on E wing. This cop however, wasn’t taking no shit, this guy meant business.

“Officer Phillips, I can guarantee you that nothing said in this office will come back on you or your colleagues, but if you don’t talk and it turns out later you could’a saved my partner, boy, you’re sure gonna wish you’d talked to me then! Now I want all you got on Mousy Lumis and I want it now!”

“Okay, okay! Look Mousy himself wasn’t really the problem, it was the attention he attracted!”

“The attention?”

“Yeah, look you sure this won’t come back on me?”

“You have my word, now just what is it you wanna tell me?”

“Well Mousy was a model prisoner, he ought to have been, he’d put in enough years, but when it got round he was involved in raping a kid, it made him a target, you know?”

“Mousy was never convicted for rape.”

“No, Manning was, but the wing soon put paid to him once word got out. Let’s just say Manning won’t ever be raping anyone else… Anyway, the guys in here don’t need much of an excuse, once they found out Mousy was in with Manning, they didn’t let up on him.”

“They assaulted him?”

“They had him against the wall, detective. Jesus Christ, I knew of old that Mousy swung the other way if you know what I mean, but once the wing turned on him, he got more fucks than any man could possibly want. We tried to stop it, we wanted to stop it, but when it’s just you and one other guy on a night stint against a landing full of murderers who swear that you could be next, you quickly learn to turn a blind eye!”

“Lumis was raped?”

“On a regular basis. Give him his due, he never complained, even when he was hospitalised, but it changed him somehow.”

“Changed him?”

“Yeah. Mousy was always a good boy like I said, but after four years in here, there was a kind of darkness about him, like he didn’t give a shit no more. I mean he’d always been kinda nervous before, looked up to guys like Manning to help get him through his time, but after what went on in those cells, it was like he had a lot of scores to settle and woe betide anyone who got in his way. He couldn’t do much in here, he was just one man against an army, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s tryin’ to settle some of those scores on the outside…”

“Do you think his term in here might have affected his mental health?”

“Oh, without a doubt! Like I said, Mousy just don’t care no more, he ain’t scared of anything! If the parole board had ever bothered to ask the nightshift’s opinion, Lumis would never have been released! He’s a timebomb waiting to go off, detective and if he’s gotta hold of your partner, I don’t much fancy your buddies’ chances!”

“Where would Lumis go? He missed his parole meetings and now he’s AWOL.”

“Well, he’d need dough and he wouldn’t think anything now of holding up a place all on his lonesome. You got any unsolved robberies on your books, that’s where I’d start looking. He’s been living in hell for the last four years so I wouldn’t imagine his living quarters are much of a priority right now.”

“Hmm, when we collared him the last time, him and Manning were held up in an old derelict.”

“Well, I’d start there then. Mousy might be vengeful and he might be crazy, but he’s still no brighter than he ever was!”

“Thankyou, officer Phillips, thankyou very much…”

As the cold started to become a reality and Starsky’s wrists began to hurt from the cords around them, he felt the first flicker of fear. If this was some sort of practical joke, it had gone on far too long, besides nobody he knew would have left him like this. His hands were attached to a rusty hook sticking out from the wall and his splayed legs were firmly bound to an old water pipe which ran alongside his ankles. As the chill leached from the wall he was pressed against, Starsky finally recognised his precarious position and his fear turned to horror. With a feeling of nauseousness and a suddenly urgent need to piss, Starsky gasped as the single bulb above his head snapped on.

Cashiers at two gas stations and the elderly owner of a Polish bakery all identified Robert Lumis as the lone assailant who’d recently robbed them and Hutch put an all points alert out for his arrest. Start where he left off, isn’t that what Phillips had suggested? Having no other leads, Hutch took himself downtown towards Sixth.

“So, cop, you like my little set-up here? I must admit, I’m’a rather proud of it myself! After all, I hardly had a dime to my name when I came out the slammer! A coupl’a jobs under my belt and I had enough to enjoy a few long cool beers and buy enough ketamine to take you down! That’s what took you out, pig, a nice big shot’a K! Cost me a packet, but it did the job! You startin’ to hurt yet, cos I can’t begin ‘till you start to hurt. I want you to feel every li’l bit of what I’ve got to give ya!”

“Who… who are you?”

“I guess I should be insulted you don’t remember, cop, but no matter. I’m just another guy you sent to the joint to get his face pressed against the wall. Well that there’s your wall, pig and I’m gonna be pressin’ you up against it real good! You don’t really need to know my name, but if you really wanna make it official like, knowing the guy that’s taking your ass, you can call me ‘Mister Lumis’!”

“Lumis?… Mousy Lumis?”

“Don’t you call me that! I ain’t no Mousy no more! I don’t answer to you, nor nobody, ‘cos I also got me a real gun, see? It used to be your gun, pig, but now I guess it’s mine, so how’s that feel? Now you betta behave as I’ll be usin’ your old gun on your big blonde partner if you don’t!”

“Whad’ya mean?”

“Well I guess I’m only gonna get the one go at this and you were easier to find what with that dumbass red muscle car a’ yours! You don’t give me a good enough time though, sweetheart, then long after they find your bones in this cellar, I’ll be’ goin’ after Hutchinson!”

Hutch. Somehow, Lumis knew or remembered his partner’s name which galvanised Starsky into complying with whatever was asked of him. He must protect Hutch at all costs, but there was little he could do tied against a wall with no weapon, so he tried one last chance at reason.

“Lumis, you’re no rapist!”

“Neither were most a’ the guys I was shacked up with when they went in! They all wanted to pick on the li’l guy though, and cop, I’ll admit it, I’m only five five. I’m big where it counts though, as you’re soon gonna find out!”

“Well, I’m a six footer, so how’dya think you’re gonna manage that ?”

“Oh, cop, you think I didn’t work all that out? Why do ya think all these boxes are layin’ around? They’ll take my weight, I tested ‘em all and just one will reach me right to the sweet spot, so tell me cop, you startin’ to hurt yet?”

There was to be no reasoning with this guy. He was far from the Mousy that Starsky remembered and losing his last vestige of hope, Starsky closed his eyes and braced himself.

It was the worst thing he’d known in his life. It was worse than Hutch’s virus or his mother’s stroke or his own cardiac arrest and it kept on coming. Mousy hadn’t lied about his own endowment and pounded into the detective like a cleaver through meat. Starsky tried to think himself through the pain. This wasn’t sex, this was someone trying to force a square peg into a round hole, this was someone brutalising his very soul and enjoying every sordid minute of it. The agony was almost unbearable, shooting sharp from his rectum right up through his back. He knew he was bleeding, he could feel tiny drips cooling off on his heels. The brick of the wall pressed into his nipples, grazing and tearing, but he had nowhere to go as his captor kept pumping and grinding and Starsky just willed him to finish before Mousy slipped out…

Hutch cruised down Sixth through the dimming light. The old factory that had previously sheltered Manning and Lumis appeared to be operational once again, hoardings advertising Kennings Automotive works and Hutch was wondering just where to search next when Dobey came over the airwaves.

“Hutch, I got your friend Huggy on the line, says he’s got information on Mousy’s whereabouts.”

“I could sure use that right now, Captain, put him through!”

“Hey, Hutch, my man, where you at?”

“I’m coastin’ down Sixth, Hug,”

“Well, you’re in the wrong place! This acquaintance of mine who wishes to remain nameless ‘a course, just happened to let me know he dropped off a little package of herbal tobacco to Lumis at five five three Twelfth Street two days ago. Looks like your turkey found himself enough bread to pay for cash on delivery!”

“Thanks, Huggy! Captain Dobey, show me as attending and send a coupl’a teams as backup!”

“There’s a regular patrol down there, Hutch, I’ll send them word.”

“Okay, but we don’t know what we’re dealing with here, so get ‘em to hold off till I get there, I don’t want Mousey spooked, no sirens, no fanfare, okay?”

“You got it, Hutch, now go get our boy back!”

“Well, there’s your first taster, cop, guess I’m gonna take me a li’l break now, maybe have me a smoke. Don’t you worry though, sweet cheeks, I’ll be getting’ back to you soon enough, I like to take my time ya know and I can last a very long time!”

As the sickly tang of hash laced the air, Starsky wished that Lumis would just shoot him dead and be done with it.

Hutch quietly announced his arrival to the guys in the cruiser. The M.O was just the same, a broken-down dump no one would look twice at and Hutch knew it was the place, his senses sent haywire. Starsky was nearby, he could feel his partners presence right down to his bones as he softly and swiftly, broke into the house.

Never much taken with life’s niceties, Mousy wasn’t one for foreplay or lubricant, though Starsky’s blood made penetration quicker the second time round. Lumis was happily rutting with his unwilling victim as Hutch burst into the room, gun drawn. Hutch froze at the sight in front of him, every nightmare he’d ever had coming together in front of his eyes. His finger itched to pull the trigger, but that was a sure way of killing his partner. Instead, he calmly walked over, pointed his gun and gave Mousy instructions.

“Get yourself out of him now! Then, lay down on the floor with your hands face up behind your back and pray to God I don’t stamp your goddam head in while you’re down there!”

Lumis complied with surprising speed and once he’d cuffed the stinking man, it took all Hutch’s grit to not make good on his threat. Hutch could hear the approaching sirens and could only imagine the chaos about to ensue. The two young officers who’d accompanied him, stood transfixed, showing particular interest in the ragged and bloody man who was tied to the wall, prompting Hutch to put them to work.

“You, Officer, make sure that medics are called, then ensure nobody comes into this room except them! If anyone questions you, tell them Detective Hutchinson is in attendance and that those are his express instructions, okay? And you, fetch a blanket from your squad car and then take a look about and see if this poor man has any clothes around here, please.”

The street cops made off, relieved to have new responsibilities and Hutch turned toward his beloved partner. He knew he should wait for the forensic guys to turn up with their cameras, but to hell with that, a few swipes of his penknife dropped a trembling Starsky into his arms and the two slumped to the floor dazed and exhausted. One of the policemen hurried back with a blanket and Hutch gave him further instructions.

“Thankyou, son, remember what you saw here tonight as you’ll be called as a witness for sure in the trial.”

Hearing that, Starsky uttered the only words he’d speak for some time,

“Ain’t gonna be no trial, Hutch, believe you me…”

Dobey’s presence soon brought order and dignity to proceedings and before he knew it, Hutch and his charge were being red lighted to the emergency room. If Starsky tried to shake off his hand, Hutch tried to ignore it.

The prodding, poking and relentless swab taking went on forever and still they wouldn’t let Starsky shower. They wanted him surer on his feet before he risked wet floors and though Hutch appeared desperate to help, there was no way Starsky was going there. Why folks couldn’t just let him get on with it, have some time to himself to scrub himself clean, he couldn’t work out and shunning their queries and mesmerized faces, he closed them all out and slowly but surely, checked out from their world.

Starsky’s new life was never quite bright enough, like a wet Sunday when you needed lamplight to see, even though you knew you were only half through your day. His nightmare house had many rooms, most of which he couldn’t enter, fear and revulsion guarding their thresholds. Mousy occupied the top room of course. Li’l  ol’ Mousy. Now he’d shown Starsk what a scared, five-foot-five guy can achieve with just a little aspiration and a loaded gun, but Starsky had no fast wish to renew their acquaintance. Mousy was a patient man, so Mousy could wait. Hutch was another matter. Hutch hung around in so many places, but the rooms on the top floors made Starsky feel sick. Those were the rooms where Hutch slept with Kira and made up fake stories to make Starsky feel bad. Sometimes, the amnesia room was the worst as Starsky knew full well he’d deserved such treatment – he’d checked his driving ever since. Other times, The Kira room brought such sorrow. He’d never blame Hutch for chasing the girl, but the neon sign over the lintel, constantly flashed ‘You Just Weren’t Good Enough!’ and he knew it was true. Though he disliked the darkness, he hated the neon. He didn’t need the stark reminders of his own paltry efforts or the way he’d hit Hutch.

Instead, Starsky chose to hang round the lower levels, watch his car blowing up, see the death of his father… Occasionally, he’d visit the basement and talk to the ladies all bent outta shape through abuse and maltreatment, though they all despised him as he hadn’t saved them.

Hutch wasn’t being told anything which made him want to scream aloud. Instead, he exerted some patience until the attending physician appeared to be free.

“Sir, I really need five minutes of your time, if you’d be so kind?”

“And you are?”

“Detective Kenneth Hutchinson, Starsky’s…er, Mr Starsky’s working partner and next of kin.”

“Oh! Well, I see! In that case, Mr Hutchinson, please, I’m doctor Michael Thomas, the on-call psyche physician, let’s step into my office.”

Sometimes, Starsky looked out to the garden. He wasn’t allowed in the garden, which was a shame as he knew Hutch, Hug and Dobey hung out there at times. The doctors though, those that had prodded and poked and took blood from his arm and shoved wipes up his ass, they were there too and their voices upset him. They asked so many questions as if he had answers, put lights in his eyes and tubes in his veins, but he didn’t feel better. Medics were meant to make you feel better, but these one’s didn’t and Starsky soon learned to detest them and shrank from their touch.

“Thankyou, Doctor, I appreciate this… sorry did you say you’re a psyche reg?”

“Yes, I’ve been called in to review your partner’s case as we’re very concerned by his state of health. I have his emergency room notes and as his next of kin, you’re entitled to see them.”

“Doctor, I’ll be frank with you and I’m not asking for understanding nor even acceptance. Starsky’s mother had a stroke two years ago, but we did the next of kin thing a long time before that. Doc, it’s not common knowledge, but we live as a couple, you know, the way a man and a woman might…”

“Oh, Mr Hutchinson, I’m not here to judge, indeed my partner Andrew would want harsh words if I did! Thanks for your candidness however, it does put a new slant on things…”

“In what way?”

“In that we may well have to take care of you too.”

“Forget me, Doctor, tell me the worst, tell me all about Starsky…”

“Well, he’s young and he’s fit. The injuries to his body might be troublesome for a time, but he’s had a thorough examination and we don’t conclude we have to be concerned about any serious internal injuries. He’s receiving a broad-spectrum antibiotic to deal with any immediate infection risk, though the bloodwork will determine if we have any further disease to consider.”

“Oh my God, I didn’t even think about that!”

“That’s a worry for another day, Mr Hutchinson. In the meantime, I’m confident Mr Starsky should make a full physical recovery.”

“I sense a ‘but’…”

“You sense right. My actual concerns lie with Mr Starsky’s psychological state.”

“Starsk’s tough, he’s gotten through a hell of a lot in life, he’ll get through this.”

“Mr Hutchinson, your partner’s showing an extreme emotional reaction to his recent trauma. His outward senses have shut down and he’s responding less and less to our stimuli.”

“Oh, he’ll be fine, just let me talk to him, take him home…”

“Mister Hutchinson! I’m extremely concerned about your partners cognitive condition. If I didn’t know his recent history, I’d say he was fast approaching a catatonic state!”

“Which means what, exactly?”

“He’s not responding, Mr Hutchinson, which is a symptom we take very seriously. Catatonia can be a life-threatening condition. It’s imperative we get him to react as soon as we possibly can!”

“Oh! Oh no! Well … well, what would you normally do in such a situation?”

“We’ll monitor him closely for the next twenty-four hours and if he declines further or fails to make any improvement, we’ll make the decision to apply drugs intravenously. They should bring him back up, raise his blood pressure and get him back to a level that we can find out what’s going on with him.”

“Er, you mentioned me, Doctor. Where exactly do I come into this?”

“Well I won’t pretend any of this is going to be easy on you, Mr Hutchinson. Your input into your partners recovery may well be vital, but I’ve seen these sorts of cases destroy relationships, so patience and understanding from you is essential. I’m no rape counsellor, though I do run a private clinic for those seeking help, so I’m here to assist you when and if I can.”

All was unnaturally quiet in Starsky’s nightmare house, like the electric lull before the start of a storm. He tried some of the doors but they all appeared locked, so he sat down cross legged and started to wait. The storm when it hit, was ferocious and fast, the doors all blew open, and blinding light and screaming winds blasted out from the rooms. Terrified, Starsky made for the stairs that lead down to the cellar, but as he reached the first tread, his feet stuck fast and he couldn’t go further. He willed his legs to propel him on downwards to the safety of darkness, but something was pulling him back to the terrible light. The harder Starsky tried to run, the harder the pull was and as benzodiazepines flooded his bloodstream, he gave up the fight.

A startled cry was Hutch’s first cue that Starsky had woken, though Thomas was cautious.

“Don’t expect too much at first, he’ll likely be stressed and disorientated. He might not make sense or know what he’s saying, so just take it easy!”

“Oh, I will doctor and thankyou, thankyou so very much!”

Hutch couldn’t wait to get into the room and as soon as he did, all the doctors and nurses and noisy machines simply faded away. It was just him and Starsky and he felt his heart flip.

“Oh my God, Starsk, you had us all worried, howya feelin’ my darlin’?”

“I wanna go home.”

“Oh I’m just sure you do and you will, in time.”

Hutch chuckled which apparently was the wrong thing to do.

“Don’t you dare fucking laugh at me, Hutch, I wanna go home and I wanna go now!”

“Hey, hey come on, of course, we’ll go home, they just wanna keep an eye on you for a little longer, that’s all, you were out of it for quite a while, you know!”

For the next two days, Starsky made a terrible patient, flinching from nurses and refusing his meals until medics decided his recovery would be hastened away from the hospital. Hutch was concerned by Starsky’s low mood, unused to his partner being so quiet.

“Hey, babe, it’ll be great to get home, yeah?”

“I guess.”

“Just think, your own shower, your own bed, nobody sticking needles in you all the time…”

“Look, Hutch can we just cut the chat and get out of this place?”

“Yeah, sure, of course we can!”

Starsky couldn’t bear the light all around him. Having no Ray-Bans to shelter his eyes, he longed to get back to the dark of the nightmare house, the only place he felt he should be. Hutch fussed around like a little old woman, messing with seat belts and checking the traffic and Starsky just willed them to get there, no matter what. As soon as they parked up, he ran for the shower, shedding his clothes all over the house. He seemed surprised to find Hutch there an hour later, when he finally emerged wrinkled and red.

“You still here?”

“Where else would I be?”

“Somewhere, anywhere, hell I dunno, Hutch, but don’t feel obliged to stay as I’d rather have some time to myself if it’s all the same to you!”

“I’m goin’ nowhere partner!”

“Well you just suit yourself then, I’m goin’ to bed!”

Starsky slept round the clock and when he finally roused, Hutch was there for him, counting his pills and making his coffee. With a need to get back to the confines of his nightmare, Starsky exploded.

“Hutch, for Christ’s sake! If you wanna help me, then get outta my place! I need to be by myself, I don’t want you or anyone else round me right now! Do you get that, Hutch, can you just do that one little thing and get outta my space?”

Hutch was loathed to leave his unsettled partner, but Starsky seemed set and knowing he could likely do no further good, Hutch unwillingly left with a pang in his heart.

*****

When Hutch got to headquarters, Dobey looked troubled.

“Hutch, we got a problem!”

“What another one?”

“I’m afraid so. It seems if Starsky’s unwilling to give evidence in the trial, we’ve got virtually no chance of pinning the assault charge on Lumis.”

“What? Hey, back up, Cap’, who said Starsky wasn’t willing to give evidence?”

“He did! I had all the paperwork couriered over to him yesterday and he couriered it right on back duly marked ‘Sorry Captain, not Interested!’

“Oh my god, why would he do that? I mean I get he’d be nervous about appearing in court…

“He’d have good reason to be, because it gets worse!”

“Could it be any worse?”

“It sure could! The pack contained the statements of intent from Lumis and his representative,”

“Go on…”

“Well it would seem for the rape charge, Lumis is being represented by one Assistant District Attorney Jason Sims.”

“You’re kidding me!”

“I only wish I was, Hutch.”

“Didn’t that creep learn his lesson the last time?”

“Unfortunately, I think that’s just what he did do! You guys made him look like a fool in the D.A’s office and I dare say he’s been tryin’ to regain his credibility and perhaps a little vengeance, ever since. This case must’a been like a big old Christmas present fallin’ right into his lap!”

“The D.A should have struck him off when they had the chance!”

“I agree, but sadly they didn’t and now it means your partner’s up against him! Lisa Graham got dispensation due to her mental capabilities, but Starsky’s a grown man with full faculties, so they’ll be no such leniency shown to him!”

“We’ve got a solid case here though, Captain, if we could just persuade Starsk to take the stand, Lumis could go down for life!”

“Hutch there ain’t nothin’ we can do if Starsky’s not willing!”

“Okay… okay, maybe we don’t need Starsky’s testimony, we got the evidence after all! I saw Lumis assaulting Starsky, as did two street cops! We got pictures of the scene, we got the ropes, we got the hashish, we got the medical evidence—”

“We got zip, Hutch!”

“How so?”

“Because all we got, is evidence a sexual act took place. Lumis isn’t denying that happened. He’s not denying he smoked marijuana or that he tied his victim up and trained a gun on him. What he’s claiming however, if we proceed with these charges, is that Starsky was complicit in the whole thing, that it was some sort of sick sex game that Starsky had wanted to happen!”

“You’re joking, right? Oh, my good God! Sims has really outdone himself this time, oh poor Starsk…”

“Indeed! I think it would take a stronger man than Starsky is right now to refute such claims in front of a jury and a courtroom of people and there’s no way this would stay quiet, however much we tried to keep a lid on it! It must be bad enough for Starsky having his friends and colleagues knowing what happened to him, but if this goes to trial, Hutch, the whole city would know and how would Starsky feel if we lost, huh? Look we all want justice for Starsky, but at the end of the day, I’ve got the welfare of one of my men to consider and that has to be my top priority!”

Hutch was thoughtful during his drive to Starsky’s. At no time had he considered they might lose their case against Lumis, it had been a done deal until Dobey had shown him the pitfalls. It would surely destroy what little was left of his partner and friend and with his mind made up, he stepped on the gas. Starsky appeared to be awaiting his arrival, chest puffed out and face set in stone.

“Well, if it aint master Hutchinson about to tell me what a jerk I’m bein’ not choosin’ to go through with the trial! Tell me, Hutch, what makes a good detective, huh? Reputation and respect, that’s what makes a detective, neither of which you’ll keep if I take to the stand. All our contacts, all those punks, nobody’s gonna take no notice of me no more once word gets out and you’ll go down with me if you tag along. Give it up, Hutch, no conviction’s worth that!”

Hutch returned to his car without saying a word.

Starsky returned to the dark of his house, hating himself and the things that he’d said. It was torture having to send Hutch away, but he knew he’d been right. Hutch was a cop who was made for the job, a job he might lose if he kept in with Starsky, a washed-up dud who had failed at life. Starsky knew he’d never work the streets again whereas Hutch had a future if only he’d see it. Hutch still had his nerve.

Hutch strolled into Metro wandering what hapless officer Dobey would pair him with next. He had little taste for the work without Starsky around and his clean-up rate was abysmal. No sooner had he entered the squad room, a bellow from his captain demanded his attention.

“Hutchinson, what the hell are you doing here, why aren’t you at the hospital with your partner?”

“Oh my God why, what’s happened now?”

“Well, nothing as far as I know, but surely Starsky’s got his appointment today? I got Internal Affairs snapping my heels demanding to know when Starsky’s coming back to work, I got you wandering about with your head in the clouds and in case it’s escaped everyone’s notice, I’m trying to run a Police department here!”

“Look, Captain, I’m sorry but I know nothing about any appointment—”

“Hell, don’t you guys talk to each other anymore?”

“Not nearly as much as I’d like, Captain…”

“Hutch, just you go find that partner of yours and try to get some answers out of him! If Starsky’s serious about claiming disability, then he can’t afford to piss I.A off!”

“Claiming disability?”

“Oh, I guess he didn’t mention that either, huh? Look, I’m sorry, Hutch, you should probably forget I said that, it’s not my news to tell.”

“Cap’ are you tellin’ me Starsk wants out or aren’t you?”

“All I know is, he’s been in talks with personnel and they’re not confident he wants to come back in his previous capacity. A large shot of ketamine didn’t do his heart much good, but I don’t think it’s a physical issue that’s spooking Starsky, all I know is, I need my men to be a hundred percent fit before I can send ‘em out on the street. Hutch if you can’t get to the bottom of what’s goin’ on with him, then nobody can, take all the time you need, I’ll clear it.”

“I appreciate that, Captain, thankyou.”

“Don’t thank me, detective, just go out and get me some good news for a change!”

Hutch got.

Starsky was loping along the sidewalk toward his house as Hutch approached.

“Hey Starsk!”

“Oh great, Hutch…”

“Hey, Dobey told me you went to the hospital!”

“Yep.”

“You didn’t drive there?”

“I took the bus.”

“Hell, I would’a taken you!”

“Yeah, I’m just sure you would! You comin’ in? Yeah a‘course you are…”

Once inside, Hutch desperately tried to ignore the keep out signs his partner so blatantly displayed, though he guessed Starsky wasn’t going to make it easy for him.

“So why didn’t you take the Torino?”

“I’m thinkin’ of sellin’ it.”

“What? You love that car!”

“It’s just like you always said, Hutch, it’s too conspicquious. Damn thing sticks out like a sore thumb!”

“Well let’s just forget about the car for a minute, what happened at the hospital?”

“Oh, I got the results of the bloodwork.”

“Really? What did the doctor say?”

“All clear, no li’l nasties goin’ on for me downstairs! Guess that’s one good thing to be said about Mousy’s stayin’ power, at least he didn’t get to shoot me up with any lastin’ goodbyes, eh?”

“Oh, wow, you’re clear of diseases? Oh, Starsk, this is huge!”

“Yeah, huge…”

“Oh, come on, this is a reason to celebrate, you must be thrilled!”

“Oh yeah, I’m just turnin’ circles here, Hutch! I tell you what, why don’t we just throw some big ol’ party, invite everyone we know so they can all celebrate the fact that Dave Starsky didn’t get a dose of the clap off the two-bit asshole that managed to take him down, huh?”

“Hey come on, I know your hurtin’—”

“No, Hutch, you don’t know nothin! You like to think you know, but you really don’t. Now if it’s all the same to you, I got a car to offload and I’d appreciate being left alone to get on with it!”

Summarily dismissed, Hutch sadly left Starsky’s place knowing he’d get no further information from his angry partner. He’d been as close to Starsky as he’d ever been to another person, but he felt moons away from the man who’d agreed to buy a house with him and set up home together. The only glimpse of light on Hutch’s horizon was that Starsky had finally acknowledged the rape, something he’d never discussed with anyone to Hutch’s knowledge.

Though an extremely busy man, Doctor Michael Thomas readily scheduled a consultation with Detective Hutchinson.

“I’m sorry doctor, I don’t even really know why I’m here! I don’t think I’ve any medical complaints you could prescribe pills for, but I still feel I’m going outta my mind!”

“It’s been tough going, huh?”

“Oh, God, Starsk, he’s … he’s…”

“Look, I’m sorry Mr Hutchinson, but now that your partner is once more compos mentis, I’m afraid I can’t discuss his medical conditions with you without his express permission.”

“Oh, I understand that doctor, I just wanna know how to help him. He’s just changed so much!”

“How do you think he’s changed?”

“Well he hardly ever goes out, just spends all his time shut up in his house. He’s all but invalided out of the job but doesn’t seem to care about that and he positively hates me…”

“What makes you think that?”

“He can’t even bear to be near me. We were that close to buying a place together and now he seems to resent me even calling to visit.”

“Tell me, has Mr Starsky undergone any sort of therapy since the assault?”

“None that I know of, though I doubt it. He couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital and he seems to loath doctors almost as much as he loathes me.”

“Mr Hutchinson, it’s been what, three months since the assault? In relative terms, that’s not very long, especially if your partner hasn’t talked to a professional about the events that occurred that night. There could be many reasons for his reactions toward you in particular. He might feel emasculated, feel guilty or even feel jealous that you get to lead what he’s sees as a normal life. He certainly sounds depressed and we could prescribe something to help with that. Is there any possibility you could get him to come and see me?”

“Not a chance.”

“What about the police department?  Wouldn’t they force him to undergo some sort of evaluation before they pensioned him out?”

“Yes, but I can’t see them going out of their way to try to rehabilitate him. Starsk was seriously injured some years ago and he should have gone then. They took a risk keeping him on and I don’t think they’ll take the risk a second time.”

“I’ll be honest with you, I can’t see much changing for your partner until he properly talks things out, but no one can force him to do that, so for now, we have to concentrate on you. There’s your career and your own thoughts and feelings to take into consideration. You can’t be a proper partner to Mr Starsky if he’s not prepared to be the same for you.”

“Are you saying I should give up on him?”

“No of course not, not all the time you feel strong enough to persevere, but I think it might be important to recognise when he’s given up on you.”

Hutch realised he hadn’t been fair on Starsky. He’d pushed and pushed without stopping to listen and his dispirited partner was paying the price. Maybe it was time to start the goodbyes, make good on his plans and get out for good. He should visit his partner one final time, to tell him he loved him and how very much.

Out of cautious politeness, Hutch knocked at the door, but as was ever more common, he received no reply. Guessing Starsky was taking one of his endless showers, Hutch quietly let himself into the stifling house. It was dim inside, the drapes closed and the blinds lowered and it was only after Hutch threw open the windows to let in the light and the air, he noticed the state of the room. Barely touched take outs fought with bottles and cans for space on the counter and socks, jeans and under shorts littered the floor. Sighing to himself, Hutch chased up the garments to take to the washer. As he was adding the soap, his partner appeared.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“What you’d normally be doing on a sunny Saturday morning off duty, housework and chores!”

“For God’s sake, Hutch that’s my laundry you’re messin’ with there!”

“Well you’ve never complained about me dealing with it before!”

“Well p’raps I should’a done, jeez what’s a guy gotta do to get a little peace around here!”

“Starsk, have you seen the state of this place, you’re letting it go to rack and ruin which just isn’t like you!”

“Well excuse me for not meeting your high standards, your lordship, I suggest if you don’t like it, then you just keep your big nose outta my business and go find some a’ your own damn housework to do! Oh, and you can leave the key on your way out!”

In the time it took to get in his junker, Hutch had made a decision. It was finally over. Starsk had reached some conclusions which didn’t include him. The dream was over, his own nightmare begun. Facing a life without Starsky was his bleak, barren future and his soul simply bled with the pain. Having no other plans than getting blind drunk, Hutch headed for Huggy’s.

The worst was over. Hutch had finally seemed to get the message he’d be better off without a dropkick of a rape victim in tow and made himself scarce. Starsky needed a beer and for the first time in ages, needed people around him, real people, not the spectres that roomed in his nightmare. With some notes in his pocket, he called up a cab and made off to The Pits. Seeing Hutch’s heap parked quiet in the ally, brought Starsky up short. Though he still desired some beer and comfort, he’d no wish to face Hutch, and sloped in through the kitchens to listen and learn.

“I take it the latest visit didn’t go dat well, bro?”

“Not really, Hug, but it gave me some answers at least.”

“About what?”

“About what I should do. Dobey seems to think Starsky should have no issues being medically retired, but I still need to work.”

“What’s on your mind, Blondie?”

“Well, I can’t work here, can I?”

“Why ever not?”

“Starsk has a home here, he’s got some sort of paid for future here, it’ll just fuck him up more if I stay around. I’ve been sniffing out a few positions open in Minnesota, thinking I might just go home.”

“You’re leavin?’ Man, tha’s just crazy talk! This is your home, just as much as it’s Starsky’s and I’m tellin’ ya it will kill that guy if you clear out!”

“Hug, Starsky can’t stand the sight of me! I can’t even remember the last time we had a civil conversation and to be honest it’s starting to drag me down now.”

“Hutch, dat dude ain’t dealin’ a full deck right now, you know that!”

“I owe him Huggy. I can honestly say that in all the years I’ve known him, Starsky has never let me down or intentionally tried to hurt me. I dearly wish I could claim the same thing but I can’t. I’ve treated that man so badly at times and still he’s stood by me, I need to do this for him now, set him free to find some sort of life for himself.”

“He had a life, with you! That’s what all that Kira nonsense was about right from the start, it wasn’t her you wanted, it was him!”

“Maybe so, but it’s all immaterial now if he can’t bear to be near me!”

“I keep telling you, you dumb blonde, Starsky ain’t thinkin’ straight! Give him a little time to get his head together before you make any re-diculous moves like leavin’ town, as that’s just insane!”

“Hug, when Starsky was shot, in all probability, he should have died, he certainly should have been retired out, but he wasn’t because he fought tooth and nail to get back to where he was before. The strength and bravery he displayed getting back to full fitness was just incredible, but he did it because he wanted to. I just gotta accept that this new Starsky doesn’t want to go back to the way things were and that I can’t force him, and nor would I wish to!”

Listening in from the greasy floor of Huggy’s kitchen, Starsky’s ragged heart broke in two. He’d finally gotten what he’d wanted by driving Hutch away, but he’d had no concept of just how much that would rip him apart. He felt disconnected from his partner in a way that terrified him. Hutch was making plans that didn’t include him, Hutch was breaking away and it was all Starsky’s stupid fault. He suddenly realised he was in grave danger of losing everything that he really cared for which would shoot him dead surer than any gun. It was time to climb those stairs. Climb and crawl his way to the upper reaches of that nightmare house, reach the top and blow the fucking roof off…

Starsky felt like his guts were gonna fall right out of his pants, but he somehow got through security and was finally left in a dour little space awaiting his guest. This was what the top floor looked like then, just a sickly green room, with no class and no flounces. When Lumis entered, he was the same Mousy Starsky remembered way back from Lisa’s case.

“Hey, cop.”

“Hey, Mousy.”

“Look, I’m sorry, alright! I know what you did for me, Id’a gone down for good if you’d brought me to trial!”

“Oh, don’t be sorry, Mousy, I was just too chicken to take it further. What you did to me was enough to wreck my whole life, so why would I wanna make things any worse for myself?”

“I am sorry, cop. I was never a rapist, that was Manning’s thing! I just had to make those men pay though, those who picked on the small guy! I got real high soon after release and someone was gonna pay, I was dead set on it. Blame your stoopid red car that it had to be you!”

“I haven’t driven that car since, Mousy. P’raps I should take her out for a spin when I finally celebrate the fact you ain’t never gonna see life again except through a set a’ metal bars!”

“What’u talkin’ about pig, I only got another sixteen months!”

“Oh, Mousy, I still gotta few friends on the force and they assure me that if you so much as jaywalk, you’ll be goin’ down for a very long time! And if you ever find yourself a free man, then don’t you ever run into me, Mousy, as I’ll shoot you good an’ dead, you rapist sonofabitch!”

Robert Emmet ‘Mousy’ Lumis finally realised that his lot was far safer on the inside as Starsky tore down the top floor of his nightmare house and prepared himself to make another visit.

“Hutch?”

“Wha… Oh, it’s you. What can I do for you, Starsky?”

“Look, Hutch, I’m real sorry to call on you like this…”

“Well, I am kinda busy, what is it you want?”

“Oh, Hutch, I…I heard you’re leavin’, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I figured you wouldn’t care to hear.”

“You figured I wouldn’t… Oh my God, what the hell have I done?  Oh, Hutch! Look I know I’ve been an asshole, I been the KING of assholes, but please don’t leave me, please!”

“Starsk, you can’t stand the sight of me, why would I want to stay?”

“Because I busted the house down, Hutch, and I got out of there!”

“Well that’s very good for you, I’m pleased to hear it!”

“Hutch, please, Hutch, I gotta tell you what this was all about!”

“Look Starsky, all I know is you hate me and I just can’t be around that anymore!”

“Hutch, I could never hate you, but I sure did betray you!”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I hated what Mousy was doing to me. He was hurting me, violating me and I couldn’t do nothin’ about it!”

“Well I never blamed you for that!”

“No but you would’a blamed me for what I asked for in my head!”

“Which was what?”

“For… for it to just stop even if it meant him doin’ it to someone else instead’a me. I remember thinkin’ in my head, Please stop, just do it to Hutch. Do it to him, just leave me alone! There you go, Hutch that’s what a true asshole I really am! When it was finally over and you’d found me, I couldn’t face up to what I’d asked for. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye, never lone you, I just hated myself so damn much, I just wanted to scrub all the skin off my bones. I tried to close myself away so that no one could see me, would have to see me. I guess the doctors saw through that in the end ‘cos you all brought me back, but I’ve been livin’ half a life, one without you in it and it’s near broken my damn heart, Hutch!”

“Why did you try so hard to push me away then, Starsk?”

“I didn’t feel like I deserved you. I still don’t if I’m honest, but I do know if you leave now, I’ll never feel like livin’ again!”

“Oh, Starsky, I don’t want to leave, but we’re just no good for each other anymore!”

“That’s my fault and I know it! I also know I’ve no right to ask anything of you, but please, please Hutch, don’t go, I love you too much to let you go without a fight! I dunno if we can ever make a go of things again. I just feel so filthy and dirty all the time and I know you don’t need a guy like that hangin’ around you, but you were my best friend Hutch, I’ll do anythin’ to just keep you in my life, I’ll talk to the doctors, I’ll go to therapy, whatever you want, just please don’t go!”

Hutch was thoughtful for a moment, trying not to overexcite himself with sudden overwhelming possibilities.

“If that’s the case, if it really is the case, Starsk, then perhaps it’s time we sat down and had ourselves a real long, honest talk. You wanna beer, maybe something stronger?”

“Um, it’s a little early isn’t it?”

“I figure under the circumstances, what time it is doesn’t really matter, partner…”

Epilogue

“Apologies for the casual nature of this meeting, gentlemen. To be honest, we never hold formal interviews in this department, most people are moved to this unit, like it or not and do their time until something better comes along for them. We certainly never get officers of your calibre applying, you do realise this is gonna be quite a comedown for you?”

Both Starsky and Hutch nodded their affirmatives before Sergeant Peterson asked if they had their own questions.

“Uh, yeah, like would we have to wear uniforms?”

“Would you like to wear a uniform, Detective Starsky?”

“Hell no! All that serge plays havoc with my leg hairs!”

“Look guys, the work we do here and the cases we investigate are very serious. As a result, we try not to take ourselves too seriously. Hell, you guys can turn up in bathing suits and hoola skirts just as long as you keep on turnin’ up!”

“Would there be opportunities to go out in the field and what about the paperwork, could any of it be done from home?”

“Detective Hutchinson, you’d be expected to make home visits on a rotational basis. Any trips you’d choose to make voluntarily would be more than welcomed and of course your fuel costs would be refunded, though we can’t stretch to providing a car. Most of us choose to do our paperwork away from the office whenever possible, though I’d advise you to make just one part of your house the place that you do it in, the cubby hole, the john or wherever. Whatever you do, not to let this job intrude on your home, is just about the best advice I can give you.”

*****

Dobey looked a cross between Man Friday and a beached whale relaxing beneath the shade of a tree.

“Hey Cap’, hope you checked for coconuts, I’d hate to see one fall on ya head!”

“Oh, dang you, Starsky, when did you last see a coconut growing around here, now get back to that grill and start cooking our dinner whilst I talk to your far more mature partner here!”

“You got it, Captain!”

Starsky loped off, full of holiday spirit and Hutch slumped down to share Dobey’s tree.

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Hutch, it sure is a pretty place you’ve got yourselves here!”

“Well I guess I’ve always had a hankering for the beach and it’s surprising how much you can do with some paint and a brush all the time you work regular hours.”

“I’ve sure missed you guys in homicide. Word is you could be the next head of Children’s Services when Carla Peterson moves up. You gonna take it?”

“Uh, possibly… well probably. It’s not the kind of position you’d want going to an outsider, it needs someone who knows the job and wants to do it.”

“And Starsky, how’s he doin’?”

“Oh Cap’, he’s just amazing. He’s got one more written assessment to go before he gets some shiny letters to go after his name! He’s by far the best and most valued rape councillor we have access to and he’s helped out countless kids, the unit just wouldn’t run as well without him!”

“I’m just so proud of you both! Tell me, you never regret the life you chose, Hutch, not becoming a family man?”

“Well we always consider Kiko and Molly as part of our own even if they’re far from children nowadays, but we deal with more kids than any guy would ever wish to! My Christmas list alone cripples me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. At the end of the day, Starsk is my family, the only one I’ll ever want and need.”

Gently frying his hamburgers, Starsky tuned into the quiet chatter from beneath the palm and smiled at Hutch’s heartfelt sentiments, enveloping himself in the love and security he’d come to cherish. Occasionally in his darkest dreams, he’d found himself back in the roofless nightmare house and sometimes he’d cried out some half-remembered memory in his troubled sleep, only to be hugged and comforted back to safety by his beloved Hutch. In the light of the morning, the house was just a crumbling wreck on shaky foundations, just a place where something bad had happened a long time ago.

Who cared about the past however, it was holiday time! He might need to prise Huggy away from Detective Peterson’s womanly charms, but Captain Dobey was always up for some eats and Hutch was out there lookin’ as good as ever chasin’ the kids around and with a flick of his apron and joy in his heart, Starsky announced,

“Grub’s up everybody, come an’ get it!”

Breathless from their beachside exertions, all those Starsky loved, came right up and got it.