Of Villains and Mad Scientists

108

Starsky and Hutch have a discussion about mad scientists and villains, and it all goes downhill from there.

 

An answer to the Twenty Minute Fic Challenge using the words: Pipe and Plum

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“Ain’t this the plum on top of the cherry cake.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means…well it means…it’s the cherry on top of the sundae.”

“Oh. Then why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

“I dunno. Maybe it’s because my eardrums nearly got blasted away from that stupid pipe organ.”

“Jenkins! Here—take this bozo down to booking. Starsky and I will be there after we finish up here.”

“What’d this guy think? He was some kind of super villain?”

“Mad scientist.”

“Mad scientist?”

“Like all those movies you watch, Starsk. The mad scientist always has a pipe organ deep in his lair.”

“They do not. Secret lab maybe. Don’t look at me like that, Hutch. Secret lab definitely. But pipe organ? Nah.”

“Wanna make a bet?”

“On what? And stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you wanna…you know.”

“I don’t know.”

“You do. Like you wanna fuck me senseless.”

“I am not looking like you like that.”

“Yes you are. You are definitely looking at me like that. Like you wanna stick your pipe in my…”

“Oh God. You are demented. I think those movies you watch have rotted your brain.”

“What? You don’t like that analogy?”

“I’m surprised you even know the word ‘analogy.'”

“Thanks a lot, buddy. Now you’re doing it again.”

“What? Looking at you?”

“Ha! You are thinking it. I know you are. You are the worst at hiding your sex thoughts ever.”

“My sex thoughts, hm?”

“Hutch. I swear. If you don’t stop, I’m gonna wind up taking you here and now.”

“I’d rather go to your secret lair and let you have your wicked ways with me, Doctor Starsky.”

“Terrific.”

“You can even tie me up and gag me.”

“Hutch?”

“Hmm?”

“If you don’t watch my brain rotting movies, how come you know so much about what goes on in them?”

“You’ve told me all the plots.”

“I have not. I’ve tried, but you always shut me down. You are watching them. All those times you’re reading a book, you’re just pretending and really watching the movie.”

“What? I didn’t hear you, Hutch. Did you just say maybe?”

“Okay. Okay. They’re…entertaining in a stupid sort of way.”

“Glad we got that straightened out. It gives me more room to work with.”

“Huh?”

“You’ll already know what role to play. Makes it easier on both of us.”

“That so?”

“C’mon, Blondie. We’d better get down to the station and get all the paperwork done.”

“You? Wanting to get paperwork done?”

“The quicker we get it done, the quicker I get to take you in my secret lair.”

“To your secret lair.”

“Nope. In. Hutch?”

“Yeah?”

“What size would you say my pipe is? Hey…wait up! What you running for?”