Paying Dues

Starsky prays.

Written in 1995. Originally published in the Starsky & Hutch gen zine, Above & Beyond, in 1996, produced by K. Hanna Korossy and Cathy Kancel.

K. Hanna Korossy is a prolific fanfiction writer who has written stories in multiple fandoms, including Starsky & Hutch. You can find more of her fan fiction at Archive of Our Own at this link and at fanfiction.net at this link.

“Dear God… Is that what you’re s’posed to say? Been a long time since my Aunt Rosie took me to the Synagogue. Anyway, so… I feel kinda funny, just talkin’ to you like this, but Hutch, my partner — well, you know that. But Hutch said that anybody could talk to you anytime and say anything. ‘Cause I don’t know any real prayers except Kaddish, and I don’t wanna do that one anytime soon.

“But like I was sayin’, Hutch says anybody can talk to you, and I figured that since I was always askin’ You for somethin’, maybe I oughta thank You, too. You know, I never used to think much about there bein’ a God, even in the Synagogue — I didn’t get those Hebrew prayers at all. I guess I only started thinkin’ about it when I became a cop. I had always wanted to be a cop, ’cause I knew things weren’t the way they should be and I wanted to change them, to help people. ‘Cept that wasn’t always so easy. After a while, ya’ kinda wonder if anyone’s in charge up there to let things get so bad down here, You know? I’d already seen enough for any lifetime when I was growin’ up, with my dad and all — You know him, he’s up there with You. I still miss him…

“Anyway, there I was, in charge of handin’ out justice and makin’ life and death decisions, and I still didn’t know if I believed in You. But then You sent me Hutch. I’m still not sure how come I got so lucky; I know most people haven’t got somebody like him and I don’t know how they can stand it. I’d never had anybody before who stuck around, You know? Well, yeah, ‘course You know. Maybe that’s why You sent him.

“So, I just wanted to thank You. I don’t tell You or him very often how much he means to me, and I guess you both know, but I wanted to say it. He means a lot to me. He made me believe in You because people like Hutch — friends like Hutch — don’t happen by accident.

“Oh, uh, I don’t mean to complain, but there is one problem with him. Ya’ see, the idiot gets into trouble all the time. Now, I figure You had to have somethin’ to do with givin’ me the blond blintz for a partner, ’cause I sure didn’t deserve it, so I figure I should take care of him. Except he’s not so easy t’take care of. Guess it’s never easy in our line of work. But worryin’ about Hutch is how I started talkin’ to You. I know, I keep tellin’ You that if You keep him safe one more time for me, I’ll do better next time. I’m sorry, I keep tryin’ but, well, like I said, my partner keeps gettin’ into trouble. And I keep askin’ You, and You keep savin’ him for me. After a while I knew it had to be You, ’cause no one’s that lucky.

“So that’s all I wanted to say, is thank You. I’ll still keep tryin’, but he’ll probably still keep gettin’ in trouble. And I can handle it… just don’t break up our act, huh? ‘Cause I’m not sure I can do a solo anymore. That’s all I’m askin’.

“Look, uh, I gotta go, Hutch is waitin’ for me. Oh, and if You really were responsible for givin’ me blondie as a partner… I guess ‘thank you’ doesn’t really cover that one. Just, please, keep him safe, and I won’t ask for anything else, okay? I’ll talk to You later.”