Separated

A firefight. Both injured. Separated.

Starsky woke up and looked around. As he took in his surroundings he realized he was in a hospital. He had a needle in his left arm that was pumping blood into his veins. He took a deep breath and instantly regretted it. The pain in his chest let him know why he was getting the blood.

He’d been shot.

That much was clear.

He looked over at the other bed in the room expecting to see Hutch, but it was empty. Where was his partner? Was he okay? He was about to yell for a nurse when the door opened. Captain Dobey came in and sat in the chair by Starsky’s bed.

“Starsky. Good to see you awake. I wanted to…”

“Where’s Hutch? Is he all right, Cap’n? Why isn’t he here? I remember getting hit, and I yelled out. I saw Hutch stand up and start running for me. Then I heard this barrage of bullets. I saw him fall behind a car and I couldn’t see him anymore. And I woke up here, but he’s not here. Where is he?” Starsky had to lay his head back down as he was out of breath after his long speech.

Captain Dobey reached out and put his hand on Starsky’s arm. “Slow down, Dave. I’ll tell you what I know for now.” When Starsky nodded, he continued. “You guys went to assist with a weapons bust the feds were running. It went bad from the start. The thieves had everyone pinned down. You got hit. So did Hutch. Before it was over, two officers and three feds were killed. Besides you, there were twelve or fifteen injured.

“It was touch and go for you for a while. The bullet barely missed your heart. They didn’t think you would make it through surgery. I’m glad to see you made liars out of them. You’ll be here…”

“Hutch, Cap? What happened? Was he one of the two killed? What aren’t you telling me? I gotta know. Just tell me!”

Captain Dobey took a deep breath. He looked Starsky straight in the eyes and said, “I don’t know, Dave. There were…”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?” Starsky interrupted.

“There were so many wounded it was hard to figure out who was taken where. I’ve got calls out to all the hospitals with a description of Hutch. As soon as I hear, I’ll check his status and get back to you. I’m sorry. I don’t know where he is or his condition.”

“You really don’t know?”

“No. I’m sorry.”

Starsky took a minute to try to ‘feel’ Hutch. He couldn’t. He realized he hadn’t ‘felt’ him since he had seen him get shot. He closed his eyes and thought about the fact that Hutch could be dead. And it would be HIS fault.

“I… I… I’m kinda tired, Cap’n. Think I’ll go back to sleep.” Starsky closed his eyes to keep from letting the tears fall and laid his head back on the pillow.

Captain Dobey paused at the door and looked back at the man in the bed. His eyes were closed and his head had dropped to rest on his right shoulder. He saw one tear escape and work its way down Starsky’s cheek. As he closed the door behind him he hoped he could find his other officer, alive and well.

Or he might still lose Starsky.

***

The blond in the bed moaned. He turned his head to the side and barely opened his eyes. The act of turning his head set off explosions of pain that closed his eyes and sent him back into unconsciousness.

Shortly after two nurses walked into the ICU room. They checked the vitals of the man in the bed. One hung a new bag of IV fluids and another bag of blood and checked that the IV sites were still intact. Both looked at the monitor with the erratic heart beat on it.

“Have they figured out who our John Doe is yet?”

“Not that I’ve heard. He didn’t have any ID on him when he was brought in. They were thinking he was one of the police officers hurt down by the docks, but he didn’t have an ID, a badge, or gun.”

“I guess we won’t know until he wakes up and can tell us… or until someone starts missing him and fills out a missing person’s report.”

“Does the doctor expect him to pull through?”

“I heard him say it was 50/50.

“He’s so handsome I would claim him if no one else did.”

“If he pulls through maybe you can.”

“If you’re okay I’m going to run downstairs for a break.”

“I’m okay. Bring me back a tea?”

“You got it.”

The man in the bed didn’t move or speak.

***

Captain Dobey had been to three hospitals and was headed for the fourth. He wiped he sweat off his brow and hoped this time he would find Hutch. He hadn’t been contacted from any of the inquiries he had sent out, but with so many officers injured he wasn’t too surprised. He had dispatched two black and whites to the site of the firefight to be sure Hutchinson wasn’t still there, overlooked. They had reported back that no more injured or bodies had been found.

A pleasant looking older lady greeted him as he entered the building. “May I help you Sir?”

He pulled out his badge and showed it to her. “Yes, I’m missing an officer from the firefight this morning and wanted to see if he might have been brought here for treatment. I believe he was shot at the scene.”

“His name?”

“Kenneth Hutchinson.”

The woman checked her clipboard, then rechecked it. She looked in the basket where admission papers were placed. “I’m sorry Sir. I don’t have a Kenneth Hutchinson listed as being admitted here today.”

“Maybe you might have seen him? He’s over six foot tall, blond hair, blue eyes…”

“Excuse me? Are you looking for a tall blond man?”

Captain Dobey turned to see a very pretty nurse standing behind him. She had a glass of tea in her hand.

“Yes nurse. One of my officers is missing. Have you seen him?”

“I may have. My name is Brenda. I’m a nurse in the surgical ICU. Would you be able to come up to the unit with me Sir?”

He flinched at the mention of ICU. Both of his friends were in critical care? “Yes, of course, I’ll follow where you lead. Thank you.” He nodded to the woman at the desk and turned to follow the nurse. He hoped he had found Hutch, and that Hutch was going to be alright.

It was a quiet ride up the elevator to the fifth floor. As they exited the car they heard a commotion, raised voices, machines alarming, and a man moaning coming from a cubical in the unit. Brenda quickly put down the glass of tea and rushed into the cubical. Captain Dobey followed her.

He looked in the room to see several nurses and someone he assumed was a doctor frantically working on a man in the bed who seemed to be having some sort of seizure. Through a quickly-closed gap in the bodies he caught sight of a pale face topped with golden hair. “Hutch!”

He didn’t realize he had spoken out loud until Brenda turned to him and tried to usher him out of the room. He wasn’t budging. The doctor looked at him and motioned him closer.

“I think he responded to your voice. Talk to him. We need to get him to calm down so we can help him.”

He quickly started talking out loud to Hutch. “Hutch it’s Captain Dobey. I need you to calm down, son. Help the doctor and nurses out here.” He didn’t notice much change and tried again. “I just left Starsky. He’s alive. He was asking about you. Do you hear me Hutch? Starsky is alive. Starsky. He’s alive.”

At the first mention of his partner’s name, Hutch’s body fell back to the bed from being bowed off it. The frantic beeps and alarms from all the machines began to slow and stop as Dobey kept talking. The doctor shot Dobey a grateful look.

“Let’s give him some IV Valium and get this secondary IV site he managed to pull out re-started.” The doctor wrote on a clipboard and handed it to Brenda. “I take it you know this man?” At Dobey’s nod the doctor indicated for him to step out of the room.

When they were in the hallway the doctor started talking. “Your officer was shot three times. Two were fairly minor wounds and easily dealt with. The third nicked his femoral artery.” The doctor indicated a site where the leg joined the body. “He also has a concussion that must have occurred when he fell. He lost a significant amount of blood and almost didn’t make it through surgery. We believed we had him stabilized until this seizure. He’s been restless even though he’s been unconscious.”

“His partner was also shot. He was taken to Memorial and Officer Hutchinson ended up here. They’re very close and being separated is hard for them both.” He hesitated. “What’s his prognosis doctor?”

“Before you showed up I wouldn’t have given him much of a chance. The fact that he responded to you mentioning his partner’s name makes me up his chances of coming through this. He’s still got a ways to go, I’m not going to lie to you. But I’m cautiously optimistic now.”

“His name is Kenneth Hutchinson, but he answers to ‘Hutch.’ I can get you a copy of his medical file from Metro. I’ll contact his parents in Minnesota and let them know what’s happened. Here’s my card. If there’s any change or you need more info call me.”

“Thank you. His medical file could come in handy. I’ll keep you informed.”

***

Dobey started the drive back across town. He had to see Starsky again and tell him about Hutch. He hoped one or the other would soon be able to be moved so they could be in the same hospital at least. For everyone’s sake.

He walked back into Starsky’s ICU room to find him sleeping. “Dave? Dave, wake up.” He put his hand on Starsky’s shoulder. Deep blue eyes opened and focused on his. Dobey spoke before Starsky had a chance to. “I found Hutch. He’s at Crossroads Hospital. He had surgery too. He’s in ICU, but stable. He’s alive.

Starsky closed his eyes in relief. He had been so afraid that Hutch had been killed. And he had been feeling so guilty because Hutch would have died trying to get to him. Because he had yelled out. He opened his eyes and looked up at Dobey. “Thanks Cap’n. I need to get out of here and go see him.” He started to push the blankets aside.

“Whoa! Not so fast. You just had major surgery. You’re not going anywhere. And he can’t come here yet either. As soon as it’s possible I’ll arrange for you guys to talk on the phone. You’re gonna have to accept that and be happy.”

As Starsky settled back in his bed his chest reminded him that Dobey was right. Just that small attempt to sit up had drained him of all his energy. “You’re sure he’s ok? He’s gonna make it?”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s going to make it.” Dobey mentally crossed his fingers. “Now you need to make sure YOU make it. Rest. Do what the doctors and nurses tell you. I’m going to call your mom and let her know you’re ok. I need to call the Hutchinson’s too. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Starsky closed his eyes and searched for Hutch. He could feel him, but not strongly. “Mus’ be cuz’ he’s cross town.” He was asleep almost before that thought ended.

***

Hutch was having a nightmare.

Over and over and over. He couldn’t wake up. He just kept seeing Starsky get shot. Seeing the bright red blood bloom over his chest. Seeing him fall. Hearing him cry out his name. And he couldn’t get to him. He couldn’t find him. There were bodies and cars and alligators between him and his partner. He knew there weren’t alligators at the shooting site, but they were there in his nightmare. One giant one kept taking a huge bite at the top of his left leg. Biting and shaking. He wouldn’t turn loose.

He would moan and try to get away, but something kept him pinned where he was. Then he would feel something warm running through his veins and he would sink back into a nightmareless sleep.

Until the Valium wore off again.

The next nightmare was worse. This time when he stood to run to his partner’s aid he saw Starsky raise his gun, aim it at him and pull the trigger. It was Starsky who shot him? He fought the images in his brain. Starsky wouldn’t have shot him, would he?

Captain Dobey walked into Hutch’s room to find him restrained to the bed. Wrists, waist and ankles. “What’s this?” he asked Brenda.

“He’s either still having seizures or nightmares. He starts to thrash about. We have to be able to keep him still. He’s reopened the wound in his groin twice now. Doctor is concerned about infection and it not healing. I know it looks cruel, but it’s necessary at this time. I just gave him something about fifteen minutes ago to calm him. Maybe if you talk to him for a while, it might help him rest easier?”

Dobey pulled the chair up to the bed and put his hand on top of Hutch’s hand. He bowed his head and said a quick prayer. “Hutch, it’s Dobey. I thought I would stop and see you, then I’m going to head over to see Starsky.” He thought he felt Hutch’s hand twitch a bit under his when he mentioned his partner’s name. “He’s missing you too, Hutch. He’s doing ok. Awake now and then. You need to wake up too. I told him I would try to set up a phone call between you two but you have to wake up for that son.”

Dobey looked around the small room. “I’d try to get him moved here but he’s not strong enough for that yet, and I don’t think they’d let us put bunk beds in here. That’s the only way you could put another bed in this closet. You’re not strong enough to be moved either.”

Hutch seemed to be resting quietly now. “Starsky got shot in the chest. Missed his heart thankfully. Though I don’t know how it could have with as big as his heart is.

He keeps trying to get out of bed too. You two are certainly alike. He was worried about the Torino. It’s got a couple bullet holes in it too. Merle said he could fix it better than new, so it’s been towed over to his garage.”

Dobey got up and walked in the small space available. “I have to go. Told Starsky I’d check on you, then him. I still have paperwork to fill out from the shootout you guys were in. I have to do your reports. Starsky told me his. I need you to wake up and tell me what you saw. So I’ll stop back later today.”

He left one ICU room heading for another one. As he left he thought that Hutch might wake up quicker if he and Starsky were together. But there wasn’t any way of fixing their separation right now

***

Starsky had been having his own nightmares. They all had Hutch dying. Dying because of him. Because he had called Hutch’s name and caused him to break cover to try to get to him. If Hutch died he didn’t think he could live with himself.

The other nightmare was worse. In it he was the one who shot Hutch as he raced to save him.

He needed to see Hutch, talk to him, tell him he was sorry. He needed to hear Hutch say he forgave him. He needed to see Hutch alive. His hands shook as he tried to push the sheet and blanket off of him. He had finally accomplished that and had one leg hanging off the bed when Captain Dobey and a nurse walked into his room.

“Starsky! What the heck are you trying to do?” Dobey and the nurse quickly got him settled back in the bed. The nurse checked the bandage on his chest and Dobey saw fresh blood.

“Dave you have to stop trying to get out of bed. You’ve torn out a few stitches.”

The nurse chimed in, “If you keep tearing out stiches you run the risk of an infection which could travel very easily to your heart. Doctor told me we might have to restrain you if you keep this up. I really don’t want to do that if I don’t have to. So work with me here. Okay?”

Starsky nodded his head as the nurse quickly put steri-strips over the edges of the suture line and covered it with a new dressing. “I’ll give doctor a call and have him come and re-stitch this but this should hold for now. Providing you don’t try any more Houdini moves?”

Starsky nodded his understanding again.

He looked at Dobey. “How’s Hutch?”

Dobey pulled the chair up and sat down. “I just left there. He’s doing good.” Dobey looked around at all the machines in the room instead of at Starsky.

“Cap’n? You’re not a very good liar. Please tell me the truth! Is he… is Hutch… dying?” Starsky held his breath waiting for the answer.

“No. He’s just hasn’t woken up yet. And he seems to be having nightmares or something. They’re having to keep him somewhat drugged to keep him quiet.”

Starsky hesitated for a few seconds before he replied. “I know about the nightmare thing. I’ve been having some myself.”

“Cap… I feel like Hutch… like he’s drifting away.”

Dobey looked closely at Starsky and saw the whiteness under his tan. He saw the worry lines around his eyes. But mostly he saw the pain and despair in the deep blue eyes.

“Look son… as soon as one of you is well enough I’ll get you moved to the same hospital. But for now you need to do what they tell you and get better. Hutch needs you. I’m going to talk to your doctor. Then I’m heading home to update Edith. She’s been very worried about both of you.” Dobey pointed a finger at Starsky. “STAY in that bed!”

“Yes Sir! You’ll let me know if there’s any change in Hutch’s condition?”

“You’ll be the first person I talk to.”

“Thanks Cap’n.” Starsky tried to shift in the bed to get more comfortable. His chest instantly complained so he stayed where he was. As he laid there his thoughts drifted to Hutch and what had happened today. He turned his head away from the door and let a few tears fall. “Hutch… I’m sorry. Ya gotta’ make it buddy. I couldn’t stand it if I… if I… lost you.”

***

Afternoon of the next day found Dobey heading out to check on his detectives. He knew Starsky was improving but not as fast as his doctors thought he should be. He wasn’t eating or letting therapy work with him. He was sleeping all the time. Even when Huggy had gone to visit him, he had barely roused.

Hutch was the same. He hadn’t woken up at all. He was still having nightmares or some kind of small seizures. His doctor was concerned the bump to his head may have been more serious than they thought and was going to have another CAT scan done this afternoon. Hutch was slipping away.

Dobey knew he HAD to do something or he was going to lose one or, more likely, both of them.

***

“Look Doctor Abbot, I understand where you’re coming from, but you need to understand that I know both of these men better than you do. They’ve been partners since the academy. When one hurts, the other hurts. Being apart is keeping them from healing. Being separated may kill them both.”

“Captain Dobey. I understand what you are saying, but the risk of moving Detective Hutchinson is not something I am willing to take. What if he dies enroute to Memorial Hospital?”

“If I can’t get the two of them together they may both die, doctor. They are each other’s power of attorney and with them both incapacitated at this time, I, as their captain, have that power. I want you to give Detective Hutchinson something to keep him calm and I want him moved to Memorial this afternoon. You said the CAT scan didn’t show any reason for him to still be unconscious. I believe if the two of them are together even if Hutch is still not responding that they WILL begin to heal. Together.”

The doctor gave in. “Okay Captain Dobey. I’ll make the arrangements. And I’ll send all of Hutchinson’s medical records along for Starsky’s doctor.”

“I’ll be here and ride with him. I can help keep him calm. Thank you, doctor.”

Dobey called Huggy and told him it was a go. Huggy said he would head to Memorial to be with Starsky until they got there.

***

Nurse Brenda decided to ride along with Dobey and the EMT’s manning the ambulance. She sat beside Hutch and talked to him while rubbing his arms and hands so he would know he wasn’t alone. They had given him some valium but he was still a little restless so Dobey was glad to have Brenda along as Hutch was used to her voice.

Dobey kept telling Hutch he was being taken to where Starsky was. Memorial had ICU rooms with two beds in them so they could be in the same room.

They got to Memorial without any problems. Brenda and Dobey walked beside the gurney as Hutch was taken to the ICU room where Starsky waited. They hadn’t told Starsky what was going to happen in case something went wrong.

So when they wheeled him in to Starsky’s room, Huggy had to hold Starsky back to keep him from going to Hutch’s side. “Easy my man. Easy. Let them get him settled.”

“Hutch! Hutch!” Starsky craned his head to see what was going on. Then the curtain was pulled between the two beds as they transferred Hutch to his bed. “Huggy? What’s going on?”

“They’re just moving him to the other bed. It’s okay Starsky. He’ll be all right now that he’s with you.”

“Cap’n? Did you do this?”

“I thought it would be better for both of you to be in the same place. And it saves me driving back and forth across town several times a day to check on both of you.” Dobey gave Starsky a smile.

“Thank you Cap’n! I was so worried about Hutch.”

“I know Starsky. I know.”

When Brenda came out from behind the curtain Dobey told her he had a squad car downstairs ready to take her back to Crossroads. She thanked him and gave him her phone number. “Please call me if there’s a change?”

“I promise I will. Thank you for taking such good care of him.”

As soon as all the other staff left and the curtain was pushed back Starsky had Huggy roll the head of his bed up so he could see Hutch better. “Hey Hutch! It’s good to see you buddy!” When there was no answer he looked at Dobey.

“He hasn’t woken up yet son. He has a concussion but they’re not sure why he’s still unconscious. I hoped that moving him here with you might help. If he hears your voice it might draw him back from where ever he’s at.”

“I’ll talk to him until he wakes up just to tell me to ‘shut up.’ He’ll come back Cap’n. I can feel it… now.”

As Huggy and Dobey left the room they could hear Starsky already talking to Hutch. Both looked at the other and hoped for the best.

***

Hutch kept dreaming that he heard Starsky talking to him. The alligators seemed to have left. His leg throbbed at times but nothing like it had. He felt like there was something he was supposed to do but couldn’t figure out what it was. But hearing Starsky’s voice made him feel better. He needed to wake up and talk to him but he didn’t have the strength… yet.

***

Starsky kept talking to Hutch. Whenever he was awake he was talking to him. He told him about the pretty nurses. He told him about the lousy hospital food he had to eat. He talked to him about what was on the television. He told Hutch everything but what he really needed to tell him. He hadn’t built up his courage enough for that yet.

But as time passed and Hutch still didn’t wake up he was afraid if he didn’t tell him soon he might not be able to tell him. Despite the doctors and nurses and Dobey saying Hutch was getting better Starsky was worried. Hutch should have woken up by now. He’d been in the room with Starsky for two days. He was still being fed through his IV’s. Nurses were doing everything for him.

As soon as the nurses had finished turning Hutch and left the room Starsky told himself he had to tell Hutch. He had to tell him now. Before something happened and he couldn’t.

They had turned Hutch on his side so he was facing Starsky. He took that as a sign that it was time to come clean.

“Hutch? Can you hear me? I… I… have something I need to tell you.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I’m sorry Hutch. I’m sorry you got shot because of me. If I hadn’t yelled your name you wouldn’t have gotten shot. You wouldn’t have almost died. You wouldn’t be sleeping now. I’m so sorry buddy. I’ll never forgive myself if you don’t make it. Please… please Hutch… don’t die. I can’t live without you.” He had to stop talking because he was crying too hard to continue. “It’s my fault. I wish I could go back and undue it. Oh God Hutch. Please wake up. Please wake up and tell me you forgive me?”

“I’ll forgive… you if you shut… up so I can get… some sleep Gordo.”

The voice was weak and quiet. But Starsky heard it. And he started crying harder. “HUTCH!! You’re awake? NURSE! Hey! Someone come quick!”

Several nurses and their doctor came running into the room. “What’s going on? Are you all right Starsky? Are you in pain.”

Starsky couldn’t speak for a moment. He pointed at Hutch and finally managed, “He’s awake! He talked to me!”

They all turned toward Hutch and saw his eyes open and fixed on his partner. If they noticed a tear or two in HIS eyes, no one said anything. The doctor did a quick exam and told them both he was pleased with Hutch’s progress.

When all the medical personnel left them alone Hutch whispered to Starsky, “I forgive you buddy. But it wasn’t your fault. And you would have done the same thing if our positions had been reversed. So there’s really nothing to forgive.” His eyes closed for a few seconds while he caught his breath. “Thank you for talking to me all this time. I kept following your voice. I knew it would lead me out of my nightmares. I knew it would lead me back to you.”

“Welcome back, Hutch. Don’t ever leave me again.”

“Deal. If you promise the same thing.”