Starsky’s Lady – Missing Scene

Besides her death, I thought that this would be the hardest day of my life.

I got up and reached next to me…forgetting for a moment. I expected her to be there right next to me as she had been for the past six months. Of course, I reached and the pillow was fluffed and the sheets straight…and oh so cold. The whole terrible tragedy came flooding back to me and I remembered. The overwhelming sorrow was back washing over me again and again like the waves of the ocean…again and again.

I buried my head in her pillow and thought that I hadn’t made a sound, but suddenly there was a hand on my bare shoulder. I looked up and there was Hutch. I must have made some sort of noise, but then again, we are always so in sync that he probably sensed that he needed to come away from his self imposed sentry post on my lumpy couch to check on me. I grabbed him in such a locked hold that he probably felt like a lifeguard saving a drowning man. At that particular moment in time, he WAS my lifeguard! I don’t know if I can make it through this day or not. Hutch is always saying how I’m so strong…well I wasn’t FEELING so strong now. I felt broken, like a part of me was missing. A part of me WAS missing…the part of my heart that I had given to her.

Hutch held on to me and rubbed my back until I composed myself enough to let go of him. I was sort of embarrassed about grabbing him like that, but looking up at my partner I saw the tears in his eyes too. He had loved my lady almost as much as I did. I had lost my lovelight; he had lost a great friend. He was in mourning too. I had to pull it together…I couldn’t fall apart…what would she say if I lost it…and Hutch needed someone to lean on too. We would lean on each other. Me and Thee…yeah our bond would keep us both upright today.

I went to the bathroom to shower, shave and generally try to take better care of myself than I had been doing since she had died in that hospital bed three days ago. I would do it for her…I would do it for Hutch.

Hutch had brought his clothes over last night for the funeral, so when I came out of the bathroom, he was there leaning against the hall wall trying to gage how I was handling things. I hugged him again and told he’d better get a move on…who knew how long it would take him to look presentable! That did it…Hutch gave me that shy smile of his and pushed me aside with a friendly shove and went to the bathroom to get his business out of the way.

I went to my bedroom closet to retrieve my dark blue suit…funny…I had thought that the next time I was going to wear this thing was at our wedding…now I’m wearing it for her funeral. I’ve got to quit thinking like that or I REALLY will not make it through the day. The suit and the white shirt were pulled on and now for a tie. I don’t really have that many nice type clothes. As an undercover cop there really isn’t much need to have many, but I have a few nice things for trial days and special occasions. I looked at the few ties I owned and was drawn to the one on the far right side of the hanger…the dark blue one with the tiny Mickey Mouse in the center. She had bought it for me the time we all went to Disneyland a couple of months ago. She said she had seen it and thought of me…now I’ll see it and think of her. It was at that moment that Hutch came into the bedroom and told me that we needed to get going to the church.

Yeah, I thought. Darling, you said that all I would have to do is think of you and you’d be there when I need you. Well, I sure need you to get through today sweetheart. I could almost hear her soft voice whispering in my ear “Promise, Dave…” and allowing a tear to trickle down my cheek, I whispered back…”Best Friends Don’t Have to Promise!”

The Torino was polished and shiny as a candy apple as we walked out into the bright sunshine on the way to the church. She was looking better than I’ve seen her in a week. I don’t remember waxing her, but Hutch put his hand on my shoulder and said that he thought my lady ought to look her best today! He was right…the Torino and me were going to be their best today…ESPECIALLY today. We were going to pay tribute to a wonderful lady. A lady I was blessed to know and to love.

Moving down the walk towards whatever waited for me this day I thought, “This is for you Terry…remember I love you…till we see each other again.”