Starsky’s Lost Shoe

Starsky loses a shoe and Hutch has to endure Starsky’s backtracking to find it.

This story was in response to a story challenge.

After waiting a few minutes in the car, Hutch grumpily opened the car door and slammed it shut after him. He stood in front of Starsky’s apartment glaring at the front door. He probably had slept through the alarm and now was trying to cram a 30 minute routine into a 5 minute race.

Actually, Hutch had come to anticipate his partner’s lateness and today he decided to show up at Starsky’s 20 minutes before they needed to leave. That way, even if Starsky was late, they’d still have plenty of time to get to work.

He let himself into the quiet apartment. He didn’t see the curly headed tornado that usually greeted him so he made his way to the bedroom. He was expecting to see the man still hidden under the covers, so he was surprised at the sight in front of him.

Starsky was fully dressed but sitting on the floor in front of the bed. He sat with his legs crossed but Hutch saw a sock clad foot peeking out from under Starsky’s leg. Starsky held the left shoe in his hand.

“Okay, I give up. Did you forget which foot that shoe goes on?” Hutch questioned the still silent man.

“No, I’m trying to remember where the other shoe is.” Starsky studied the shoe as if it held the answer.

“Well, did you look under the bed?” Hutch wasn’t sure why it would be so difficult finding a shoe. Look in the obvious places and there it would be. Seemed easy enough to him.

“Of course I looked under the bed. But all I found was this” Starsky held up a box of Chocko Crunch Cereal.

“I know I’m gonna regret asking this but, Starsk, why is there a box of cereal under your bed?” Hutch reluctantly asked.

“Because it’s supposed to be my shoe.” Starsky said, as if explaining to a child.

Starsky winced as Hutch held up a warning finger and he rushed on with his explanation.

“It all started with the phone call from my mother. Last night was Friday. It was 7:45. Remember, I always—”

—“You always call your mother every Friday night at 8p.m. Starsk, please get to the point!” Hutch begged and sat on the bed. He looked over at Starsky’s clock and massaged the furrow in between his eyes, which was getting deeper by the minute.

“The first thing I did when I got home last night was go to the kitchen. I wanted a beer but then the phone rang. It was Ma. She said she was calling early because she had last minute plans and didn’t want me to worry when I wouldn’t be able to get her at 8 p.m. So we talked a few minutes until I saw this gross bug crawling across the kitchen counter. The only thing close by to kill the sucker with was my shoe so I grabbed it off my foot and squished the bug with it. Still talking to Ma, I set the shoe in the sink, intending to wipe the bug juice off of it later.”

Suddenly, Starsky’s eyes widened and he jumped up and headed for the kitchen. He had the shoe in one hand and the box of cereal in the other hand. He reached the kitchen sink but let out a disappointed sigh when the missing shoe was not there.

“Damn, this is the shoe I cleaned off, but I thought maybe I left the other shoe on the floor.” Starsky held up the lonely shoe as he stood in front of the sink.

Hutch had slowly followed Starsky into the kitchen, not at all sure what to expect next. He was already engrossed in the story though which scared him. Sometimes his partner’s logic and train of thought was very exasperating, but always entertaining.

Hutch leaned against the kitchen wall with his arms crossed and decided not to interrupt.

“So, anyway, while I was talking to Ma, I reached under the sink.” Starsky did just that, as his mind wound back to last night. But, no shoe appeared.

“I pulled out a rag and cleaned the shoe up but continued my conversation with Ma. Actually, I listened, she talked.”

Hutch decided to make himself comfortable. He knew they were going to be late for work–again. How can you start out being early but end up late? In one word—STARSKY–!

But he doubted that Captain Dobey would believe this excuse. Hutch helped himself to a cup of coffee, sat at the table, rested his elbow on the table and rested his chin in the palm of his hand.

“Then let’s see, what did I do next? Oh yeah, while still listening to Ma and after cleaning off my shoe, I grabbed the amonia cleaner and another rag from under the sink and wiped down the counter. But I threw this shoe”– holding up the bug cleaned shoe– “into the living room”

Starsky snapped his fingers and pulled open the oven door. Again no shoe appeared. He was quiet for a few minutes and Hutch couldn’t resist. He had to ask.

“Okay, so no shoe under the sink and I’m guessing you thought it was in the oven? Why the hell would it be there?”

“Huh? C’mon Hutch, I might get a pizza box mixed up with a record album, but I’d never mistake a casserole with a shoe! What a dumb place to put a shoe! No, I thought I forgot to turn the oven off and wanted to make sure last night’s dinner—-”

Again, Starsky’s eyes lit up with the possibility of finding his shoe.

He opened the refrigerator and immediately started clinking bottles and jars out of the way looking for his lost footwear.

“Oh god, you didn’t? Starsk, tell me your shoe isn’t in there?” Hutch gulped at the thought of a dirty sneaker mixed in with food.

‘Nope, thought that’s where it was though. Oh shit!! I know where it is!! Speaking of food!”

Jumping with delight he slammed the refrigerator door shut and almost in the same motion, opened the freezer door.

There sitting next to a carton of Double Fudge Caramel Chocolate Ripple ice cream was one blue tennis shoe with three white frosty stripes down the side.

“Yes!!— I knew I’d find it. See it’s right where I left it!” Starsky crowed, very pleased with himself. He picked up the frozen shoe and held it by a shoe string.

Now Hutch was really frustrated. He rubbed his temples in a furious attempt to ward off the headache that threatened to ruin his day. He looked up at the clock on the wall and was further exasperated.

“Starsky, I don’t believe it. Only you would end up with a shoe in the freezer and at the risk of being REALLY late for work, I’ve got to know–What the hell is your shoe doing in the freezer!!!”

“Simple. While still talking to Ma— she was telling me about her neighbor, Mitzy. See Mitzy just got back from a cruise—”

Starsky felt two ice blue eyes boring a hole into him so he changed gears and went back to the shoe.

“I was pacing back and forth when I realized I only had one shoe on. I reached down to slip the shoe off but before I could throw it into the living room with the other one, Ma sneezed. We talked about her cold for a few minutes and that made me think of ice cream. By this time it was 8 p.m. and she had to go meet Mitzy and some other neighbors. Mitzy was gonna share her pictures of the cruise with everybody.”

At this point Starsky set the frozen shoe on the floor beside it’s partner and sat at the table across from Hutch. Hutch continued to hold his head. His eyes were shut against the interminable story. But when Starsky stopped talking, he glared at the man opposite him and silently threatened bodily harm if Starsky didn’t finish the story.

“Okay, just be patient. I’m getting to the end. Which is really no big deal. After I hung up with Ma, I reached into the freezer for the ice cream and musta set the shoe down in the spot where the ice cream had been. I was so engrossed in the ice cream and a monster movie I found on TV, I completely forgot about the shoe!”

Speaking very slowly and quietly, Hutch wanted to know one more thing.

“Starsk, why-were you in your bedroom– on the floor– with a box of cereal in your hand? What does that have to do with your shoe?”

Starsky stared at Hutch as if he was crazy.

“Not a thing Hutch— I just was in the kitchen with the box in my hand when I realized I didn’t have my shoes on. I went back to the bedroom still carrying the damn cereal box and looked under my bed for the shoe, and that’s when you came in. If you were a good detective, you would have known the right question to ask. And if you were an even better friend, you would have wanted to know what I ate for dinner last night. Then that would have led me straight to the shoe in the freezer”

Without another word, Hutch stood up. He grabbed the partially thawed shoe, started walking toward the living room, turned around and heaved the shoe at his startled partner.