Sunkissed

World Naked Gardening Day. It’s a thing.

Written for matsir’s prompt: Hutch/Starsky; World Naked Gardening Day.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“I did hear you. I heard you say the words, ‘Let’s get naked and garden.’ I just didn’t understand the second part of that sentence.”

“It’s a thing: World Naked Gardening Day.”

“You do realize The Onion isn’t an actual news site, right?”

“Of course I know that!”

“You know that now.”

“Shaddup. But this isn’t one of them satire things, Hutch, I swear. It has its own website and everything.”

“Just because it has a website doesn’t mean it’s legit, Starsky. Anybody and their pet monkey can buy a domain name and put up whatever the hell they want. You can’t believe everything you read on the internet.”

“Yeah, no shit. I know that, too. Just humor me and look at this, will you?”

“For Pete’s sake— Oh. Huh. That’s….”

“See? Told you.”

“‘Gardening naked is not only a simple joy, it reminds us—even if only for those few sunkissed minutes—that we can be honest with who we are as humans and as part of this planet.’ Uh, but isn’t that kind of dangerous? I mean, what about thorns? And poison oak, jeez, can you imagine—”

“Nah, they’re taking safety precautions, see? You’re allowed to wear shoes.”

“I wasn’t particularly worried about my feet, Starsk.”

“Oh. Well, just be careful where you sit down, then.”

“Better be careful with some of those gardening tools, too. Wow.”

“Okay, you can stop ogling now.”

“Oh, please. It’s not porn, and I wasn’t ogling. Anyway, no one wants to see us naked anymore, Starsk.”

“Well, I want to see us naked. I don’t really give a shit about anybody else.”

“You’re serious about this.”

“Damn right I am. And it’s not like anybody can see into our back yard, remember? Get into the holiday spirit, babe.”

“‘Holiday spirit’? Since when did this become a holiday?”

“Whatever, stop nitpicking. C’mon, I’m doing it too. Take ’em off, nature boy.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Mmm, nice. We’ll have you sunkissed all over in no time flat. Maybe some other kind of kissing, too.”

“Hmm? Starsky, I don’t think that’s what World Naked Gardening Day is all about.”

“Ah, but you can’t believe everything you read on the internet, Hutch.”

Chapter End Notes:

World Naked Gardening Day is indeed a thing; it takes place annually on the first Saturday in May. Hutch quotes an actual excerpt from the wngd.org website. Neither Starsky nor the author mean any disrespect to the event, which is promoted as a family-friendly activity for nudity advocates.

Originally published: 2015