Sunset

He could feel his skin cooling and knew the sun was going down but was too comfortable to stir and open his eyes.

Starsky was curled up beside him on the blanket, his head tucked neatly into his shoulder, the soft curls tickling his chin. He lazily raised the hand that had been caressing the warm back and sifted gently through those curls.

“Starsk?”

“Hmmm.”

“What’s it like?”

Starsky knew what he was asking, and opened his eyes to take in the view; but how to describe it?

“The ocean is calm, gentle white caps forming way out there and then disappearing as they roll into the beach. Can you hear them?”

A moment’s peace as they both listened to the soft whisper of water lapping the land.

“Yeah, I can. And I hear the last gulls screeching somewhere down the beach; and some gentle laughter too. Go on.”

“The horizon is empty, no boats of any kind. Almost makes me think we’re the last two people on the earth.”

“What about the sky?”

“Ah Hutch, I don’t think I could ever put in words what the sky is like.”

Starsky paused, trying to put the words together that would capture what he was seeing. Softly he continued.

“The sun is sitting like a new cue ball, just resting on the horizon; not yellow, not white but spreading its strong glow in a moving ribbon on the water. You could still read by its light. It’s warm and tender, not sharp and glaring like in the daytime. It’s welcoming, like it’s trying to take away the fear of the dark all around it. And looking up and away there is the faintest twinkle, a hint of the beauty the dark will show. Not a cloud to hide what’s there.”

Long moments went by before he responded to Starsky’s words and opened his eyes to see….only dark!

He had forgotten, and had lost himself in time and place. It hurt all over again, and he couldn’t prevent the tears that formed before he could control them.

No, not now. Not in the peace and beauty they had found here, just them enjoying a new day at the beach, leaving the cares and pain of the real world for a few hours.

Starsky knew, and slowly lifted himself, managing to keep his embrace as he shared Hutch’s pain. Gentle lips touched his, and then moved on to land lightly on his eyes catching his tears before they could flow.

“No love, no. Nothing is lost, nothing is changed. I see for you, you see for me. Do you know me, Hutch? Know what I look like? Know how I feel about you?”

Hutch gathered his strength to him in a bone crushing hug meant to destroy and banish self-pity. It always worked.

“Yes, I know you, as well or better than I know myself: your heart that beats in tune with mine and knows my every thought and allows me to know his. The one who shares everything he is with me and gives all he is. The child; the lover; the man, each one showing me just how lucky I am. Who you are is no mystery to me, lover.”

Hutch’s hand slowly mapped Starsky’s face.

“As to your looks, they are forever engraved in my mind and on my heart. If I were to look in a mirror, there you would be looking right back at me with those deep, knowing eyes reading me like a book. I see you every time I open my eyes, Starsk.”

Hutch’s face took on a pensive look of discovery as he continued.

“But, you want to know a secret? One thing has changed. I know how you feel about me now much more than I ever did.”

“Huh. How come?”

“I hear it now, Starsk, clear as a bell. Your voice gets just the tiniest bit of waviness in it when you tell me. When you say ‘I love you’ it comes from deep within and I feel and hear its strength and truth. Your hands and lips don’t just arouse me anymore, they tell me of your love, drawing sometimes crazy exciting love pictures all over my body, speaking erotic poems and dreams to me. When I could see, I think I got distracted by the beauty of your eyes, your smile, and wasn’t listening. Now, I’ve got an advantage that I never had, and it tells me more than I ever heard before.”

“Guess I can’t get away with anything anymore, huh?”

“Not a thing, Starsk. Not a thing. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being here with me to see the sunset. I’ve never seen a more beautiful one.”