Survival Unwound

A “what if” rendering of “Survival.”

A death fic.

There was a mass shooting in a small town near where I live. I knew two of the injured. I have never read a death fic, nor did I ever plan to write one myself. But as I struggled to understand what can’t be understood, this story made it’s way out of my brain and onto paper. I cried all through writing it, and more when I re-read it and edited it. I feel “better” but I still don’t understand senseless violence. But I DO understand that love continues, unabated. Not even death can stop love.

It had been four months since Hutch had gone missing.

Every lead Starsky had followed had been a dead end. Karla Iverson had left town before he could talk to her, and no one knew where she had gone. The hit man, Roy Slater, had been killed in a shootout with cops a week after Hutch had disappeared. Sonny McPherson had had a stroke and died before Starsky could talk to him.

He’d had to watch Vic Humphries walk away from the charges, since Hutch wasn’t there to testify. And then Humphries had been killed for double crossing one of his cronies.

Starsky was no closer to finding his partner, now, than he had ever been. It was driving him slowly insane.

Captain Dobey stepped out of his office. “Starsky… I, uhh, I need you to come with me.”

“Where we going, Cap?”

“Just come with me, Dave.”

He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and followed Dobey out of the squad room. They took the elevator to the garage and got in Dobey’s car, despite Starsky offering to drive.

“What’s up, Cap’n? I thought I would go back through Hutch’s file this afternoon. See if there was something I missed.”

Captain Dobey didn’t answer right away. And when he did, it was with sorrow in his voice. “Dave… they think they may have found… Hutch.”

All Starsky heard was “found Hutch.”

“WHERE? Is he in a hospital? Did he have amnesia? How is he, Cap? Who found him? Oh God! Hutch!”

“Dave…” Dobey took one hand off the wheel to reach over and grab Starsky’s shoulder. “They… found his car. A couple of hikers found it off the Canyon Road. That’s where we’re headed, son.”

Starsky wished he had insisted on driving. He would have had them there… wherever “there” was … all ready. Hutch! Finally. God, it would be so good to see him, touch him, hug him again! He leaned forward trying to urge Dobey to drive faster.

“Starsky. Starsky!” Dobey waited to be sure he finally had his Detective’s attention. “I need you to go slow, when we get there. I don’t know what we’re gonna see. And they were concerned the car might not be stable where it is on the hill. So, I need you to go slow.”

Starsky just nodded. As they rounded a turn on the winding road, he saw several police cars and a wrecker close to the edge of the canyon road. He had the door open and was running toward the edge of the canyon drop off before Dobey could even put his car in park.

“Stop him!” Dobey yelled at the officers standing there.

But there was no stopping Starsky. He shoved the first officer away and spun around the second and third. Then he was running down the slope as quick as he could. He could see the bottom of Hutch’s car ahead of him. He pulled up by a bush and stared toward where two more officers were standing by the driver’s door.

“HUTCH!!”

He ran toward the officers. He could hear Dobey yelling for him to wait, but nothing was going to keep him from his partner now. Nothing. And. No. One.

The two officers tried to block him, but he pushed between them and took two more steps, preparing to yell at his partner for scaring him so badly.

Dobey had made it down the hill by now and reached out to grab Starsky by the shoulders as he took in what Starsky was seeing.

The shoulders suddenly dropped out of his hands as Starsky fell to his knees.

“H-H-Hutch?” Starsky glanced at the men around him with panic in his eyes. “Help me!! We have to get this car OFF OF HIM!!”

Starsky stood up and started to push against the bottom of the car, trying to roll it off Hutch. “We’ll get you out from under there, partner. Hang on. We’ll have you free in no time. Hang on, Hutch. Hang on… HELP ME!!”

“DAVE!” Dobey and the two officers grabbed him and were finally able to pull him away from the car. The car’s not stable, Dave. Let’s get the tow line hooked onto it. Then we’ll get him out from under it. Dave… I’m sorry…”

Starsky looked at Dobey and saw the tears running down his face. “Cap…Captain? I don’t understand.”

If Dobey’s heart hadn’t already been broken, it would have broken at the look on Starsky’s face right then. He was about to try to lead Starsky to the side when one of the officers stepped up and whispered in his ear. Dobey looked at the car door, where the officer was pointing. He closed his eyes and tried to get his emotions under control.

Starsky was standing looking down at the ground. His shoulders were slumped and he looked like a tiny gust of wind would blow him over.

“Dave.” He reached out and took hold of his shoulder. “Dave… before we … move the car… you… uh, need to look at something.” Starsky tried to shake his hand off. “Hu…Hutch left you… wrote… a message.”

Starsky looked at Dobey. “Message?”

“On the car door. Officer Tipton saw it. We… ah…have a blanket… over…Hutch.”

Starsky turned back to the car. He saw the blanket covering what was left of Hutch. His legs almost gave out on him again, but he stood straight and walked the few steps back to the car. He knelt beside Hutch. He put one hand over the blanket, over where Hutch’s heart would have been. He bowed his head for a few seconds, then, looked up at the door.

Hutch must have found a piece of the wreckage to use to carve the words into the door panel. He reached out with a trembling finger to trace the letters and read.

“I trid hol on Sory No U falt Lov u Strsk B waitn 4 U. H”

The sequel to this story is Survival Unwound – Tag.