Whom vs Who

361

The guys have their first tiff since becoming lovers.

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Friday, 12/14/79

“I’d like to make a toast to all of you wonderful people who I have the privilege of spending this holiday with today.”

“Whom,” Starsky whispered.

“What?”

“You said ‘who I have the privilege.’ I was just pointing out that it should be ‘whom.’”

“Really, Starsk?” Hutch did not whisper. “You’re going to ruin the nice toast I just made so you can critique me on my grammar? And besides, it’s ‘who.’ I went to college, remember?”

“Think you’re wrong, college boy. You’re grateful to spend the holidays with *us*, not *we*; therefore, it’s *whom*.”

“Huh?”

“I’m just pointing it out. Think maybe you could be grateful to learn a little somethin’ once in a while.”

“So where exactly did YOU learn the ins and outs of English grammar, pal?”

“On the street, my friend, on the street. You’d be surprised how much one can learn if one pays attention.”

Hutch glared at his partner. “You know, Starsk….,” he began to say, but was interrupted from finishing his biting retort by Mrs. Starsky.

“That’s enough, you two, we don’t want the meal to get cold,” she admonished.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. S., we got a bit carried away there,” Hutch said, blushing.

“You two, jeez!” Nick observed, shaking his head, as the Starsky brothers’ assorted aunts, uncles, and cousins looked at each other and giggled.

Out of sight of the guests, Starsky put his hand on Hutch’s knee and squeezed it as the potato latkes and applesauce were passed around the table, but Hutch pushed his partner’s hand away. Starsky tried his best not to let on that he was hurt, but Nick could tell that something was up between them.

“Can I just say, though……” Starsky began.

“David! Why don’t you let us eat first and then you can have your say?”

“Okay, Ma,” Starsky said sheepishly. He and Hutch glanced at each other and exchanged a knowing look as Nick tried to figure out what they were silently saying to each other.

He had noticed there was something about the way his brother and his partner communicated with each other, a quick glance, a hand gesture, a squeeze of the knee, which Nick found a bit disturbing at times, like they were carrying on a secret conversation in full view of everyone that only they could understand.

He had noticed it the first time he had met Hutch, when he had gone out to California last year to do some business, before his brother had been shot. They would finish each other’s sentences without saying a word. He had found it disconcerting.

The other thing Nick had noticed when he visited out west was Hutch’s fierce protectiveness of his partner. Nick had realized that Hutch was more like a brother to Davey than he could ever be, and found himself a little jealous, if he was to be honest with himself.

But things between Davey and his partner seemed different this time, somehow. Nick couldn’t quite put his finger on at it first. He thought that maybe his brother almost dying seven months ago had something to do with it. That it had made the partners closer than ever.

But halfway through dinner that first night, he realized that Davey and Hutch were more than just partners; more than just best friends. He realized they were a couple. Normally that wasn’t something he would feel comfortable with. But with these two, it felt different to him, somehow. It didn’t bother him as much as he might have thought it would.

And now that Nick understood intrinsically that Davey and Hutch were together, he wasn’t so jealous of their closeness anymore. Hutch was now definitely more than a brother to Davey, so Nick no longer had to feel inferior, because he wasn’t competing for the same kind of affection.

*********

Sunday, 12/16/79

“You didn’t have to humiliate me in front of your whole family, you know.”

“Oh for god’s sake, are you still thinkin’ about that? Lighten up, will ya!”

“Why don’t you!”

“Oh, I get it, you’re still angry because I didn’t want to tell my family about….”

“You better believe I’m angry, asshole; I don’t like to be corrected in front of strangers!”

“That’s not what I’m talkin’ about, and you know it!”

“Hey fellas, which terminal?” asked the taxi driver warily as they approached the turnoff for JFK Airport, not wanting to get between the feuding pair.

“Terminal B!” Hutch said brusquely.

“And strangers? So now my aunts, uncles, and cousins are strangers?” Starsky said, sounding miffed.

“Well, I had only just met them!”

“You know what you don’t like? You don’t like not bein’ the smartest person in the room.”

“Well, you can correct my grammar all the livelong day, if you want, but it doesn’t make you smarter than me, buddy, is all I’m saying.”

“Yeah, well keep tellin’ yourself that, Mr. Ivy League!”

“Did it really matter whether I said ‘who’ or ‘whom,’ Starsk? We were just trying to have a nice family dinner, and ……”

“You really need to get over yourself sometime. Ya know, just because you went to a fancy college and all, and I didn’t…..”

“You, buddy, didn’t go to any college….”

“Yeah, so you’ve reminded me. Look, a person doesn’t have to go to…..”

“Starsk, are you going to keep harping on this subject or are you going to pay this nice taxi driver so he can take off and we can catch our flight before it leaves for LA without us…..”

This time, it was Starsky who glared at Hutch.

*********

“Be honest, Blondie, you’re mad that I didn’t want to tell my family about us.”

“Look, it wasn’t like I expected you to announce at dinner that we’ve been having carnal relations. I didn’t think you were going to intone “Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu melech h’aolam. Guess what, everybody? Hutch and I are banging each other now, isn’t that great! L’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah” while you lit the menorah.

“You forgot the middle part.”

“What?”

“You forgot about ‘Asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu’.”

“No, I didn’t, I wasn’t trying to recite the entire blessing,” Hutch protested, and then muttered “putz” under his breath.

“What did you call me?”

“Nothing. I said we’re in luck there’s no traffic.”

“The hell you did!”

“Yeah, well, whatever. Just drive so we can get home. This jet lag is killing me!”

“Jet lag? You don’t get jet lag from a three hour time difference!”

“My body is very sensitive, Starsk!”

“I’ll bet it is,” Starsky said with a sly grin that Hutch pretended not to notice. “Where we goin’ anyway? My place or yours?” asked Starsky, his voice sounding hopeful.

“Why don’t you just drop me off at my place,” groused Hutch, dashing Starsky’s expectations.

Starsky made sure to keep a stony expression on his face as he drove them home from the airport. He couldn’t believe that Hutch was still mad about Starsky not wanting to tell his family about their new relationship. He sometimes didn’t care for this side of Hutch; the side that was sanctimonious and controlling.

“Well, here we are; home sweet home!” Starsky tried to sound cheerful.

“See ya around, then,” said Hutch angrily, slamming the door a little too hard as he exited the Torino.

Sulking, Starsky said nothing in return.

*********

Monday, 12/17/79

Starsky walked into the squad room forty minutes late.

“Where’ve you been?” snapped Hutch.

“Slept late, probably the jet lag,” answered Starsky.

“What jet lag? It’s only a three hour time difference, remember?”

Starsky ignored his partner and poured himself a cup of coffee. He purposely didn’t ask Hutch if he wanted any.

Dobey poked his head out of his office. “Welcome back, you two. How was your holiday back east?”

“Fine, cap’n,” Starsky replied tonelessly, while glaring at Hutch.

“It was fine,” Hutch replied the same way, while glaring at Starsky.

Dobey shook his head and walked back into his office. He had a meeting to get to and was in no mood to deal with his two ill-mannered boys right now. He figured it must be the jet lag that had gotten to them.

*********

Thursday, 12/20/79

Starsky had to knock on Hutch’s door because it was locked and the key wasn’t above the lintel.

Hutch opened the door cautiously and peered through the slight opening. He frowned when he saw Starsky standing there with a bouquet of flowers.

“Got these for you,” Starsky muttered, shoving them into Hutch’s arms. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Hutch said, looking visibly annoyed. He had been watering his plants in the greenhouse and the loud knocking had disturbed his peaceful reverie.

“You gonna offer me a beer or what?”

“You know where I keep it, I don’t need to offer it.”

Starsky sulked across the apartment and got a beer out of the fridge. Then he tossed a can to Hutch without warning.

“Hey, be careful with that, will ya, buddy? Now it’s gonna explode when I open it!” Hutch complained.

“I’d like to explode….”

“What?” asked Hutch, although he knew exactly what Starsky meant.

Starsky glared at Hutch and sulked silently next to him on the sofa.

“Thanks for the flowers,” Hutch forced himself to say.

“What, are you mad that I got you flowers, too! Gonna complain that it’s emasculating or somethin’!”

“No, I wasn’t thinking that at all, Starsk!”

“Yeah, well, coulda fooled me!”

“Look, just because I said I felt emasculated because you didn’t want to tell …….”

“Why don’t you just drop it already?”

“Drop it? Drop it! You refused to tell your family about us……we had to sleep in separate bedrooms…….like you’re ashamed of us!”

“Are you kiddin’ me, Hutch? Do you know how conservative my family is? Do you really think in a million years that I was gonna tell my ma and Nicky and all my aunts and uncles and cousins that we’re……..”

“That we’re what? All I wanted you to do was tell your mother; that’s all. I didn’t expect you to announce it to your entire family.”

“That’s not what you said,” Starsky protested.

“Yes, it was. I said it clearly in the taxi drive over to the house.”

“Well, you were whisperin’, so I thought you wanted us to tell my whole family.”

“I had to whisper! Or did you want me to say it loud enough for the taxi driver to overhear? He didn’t seem the type to take too kindly to hearing about two guys having…..”

“I don’t friggin’ believe this! You’re tellin’ me that this was all a misunderstanding because of a possibly homophobic taxi driver? That you wanted me to only tell my ma? Not even my brother?”

Hutch thought about it for a few minutes.

“Well? Are you gonna answer me or not?” asked Starsky, his face beginning to redden with anger.

“I don’t know,” Hutch finally admitted. “I’m sorry, Starsk. I was just so happy to be celebrating Hanukkah with your family for the first time, and especially after I almost lost you, that I didn’t want to keep our relationship a secret. I thought at least we could trust your mom with the news.”

“I’m sorry, too, babe. I admit, I felt uncomfortable about tellin’ people. Because if we told my ma, then what about Nicky? If we didn’t tell Nicky, then Ma would have had to keep it a secret from him. And I’m not comfortable makin’ her keep secrets from him,” Starsky answered honestly, taking Hutch’s hand and turning to look him in the eyes. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I feel embarrassed that we’re together. You know that, huh?” Starsky held both of Hutch’s hands now as they faced each other.

“You didn’t have to correct my grammar,” Hutch protested weakly, wanting to have the last word.

Starsky smiled and kissed Hutch.

“What was that for? I mean it, I’m not through yet, Starsk! The next time you feel the urge to correct my ….”

“Mmm…..urge…..” said Starsky, as he began to slowly kiss Hutch behind his neck and below his ear.

“You bastard…” muttered Hutch, leaning closer so Starsky could continue his affections.

“Let’s go,” said Starsky, grasping Hutch’s hand as he stood up.

“Go where”? Hutch asked, not understanding.

“In there,” Starsky answered, pointing towards Hutch’s bedroom.

When they were standing in front of the bed, Starsky pushed Hutch down and proceeded to slowly kiss him from head to toe, slowly savoring each part of Hutch’s body.

“Hey, who would like to be kissed all over?”

“Huh?” Hutch was puzzled by Starsky’s question.

“I repeat, ‘who would like to be kissed all over?’ I mean you, dummy.”

“Oh.” Hutch understood. “I would.”

“And whom would you like to kiss you?”

“You,” said Hutch.

“You sure about that?” asked Starsky, delaying.

“Yes, I’m sure. God, I’m sure,” Hutch replied, his voice sounding deep and throaty.

“Close your eyes, babe,” said Starsky as he kissed Hutch on the lips, slipping his tongue deep into Hutch’s mouth, savoring what it found there.

Hutch made a sound like “mmm” and Starsky proceeded to suck on Hutch’s tongue, savoring the taste. They had flown to New York last Thursday, the day before the first night of Hanukkah, and it had been a long dry spell since then.

As Starsky’s mouth proceeded to slowly make its way down and around Hutch’s body, it found the inside of Hutch’s ear and licked there, making Hutch wriggle from the ticklish feeling.

Then he kissed Hutch’s neck and shoulder blade, unbuttoning Hutch’s shirt as he made his way downwards. Even though they had been lovers for two months now, Starsky was still amazed at how smooth his partner’s chest was, and how luscious his nipples. He sucked on them now, eagerly, greedily. He suddenly felt the way he did every year at the end of Passover, after being forced to refrain from eating bread for eight days. That meant no hamburgers, no hot dogs, no pizza. Not even doughnuts.

No, this was different. He could deal with not eating hamburgers for eight days, but to not make love to Hutch for that long a spell? To not taste him? He wanted to make love to Hutch, slowly, deliberately, every day for the rest of their lives.

He had gotten down to Hutch’s stomach and kissed it lightly all over, gently tracing little circles around his partner’s belly button with his finger.

He looked up and saw Hutch smiling as his eyes remained closed. It was the first time he’d seen his partner smile since they left for New York.

Starsky suddenly remembered waking up in the hospital and seeing Hutch’s smile growing bigger, his beautiful blue eyes growing wider, as he realized that Starsky was awake. It made him smile at Hutch as he had done that day.

Then he began to undo Hutch’s zipper, going faster now, finding it difficult to keep his slow pace.

He yanked Hutch’s pants and underwear down around his partner’s ankles and moved his head towards Hutch’s cock, enveloping it with his mouth, licking it all over, savoring it. It tasted better than any Hanukkah dinner he’d ever eaten. In fact, Starsky thought it tasted better than any food he’d ever eaten in his entire life. Even better than a beef burrito with onions or a chili dog with all the fixins’.

As he pushed his head down on Hutch’s smooth hard cock and rhythmically moved it up and down, he placed his hands behind his blonde partner, grabbing his cheeks and squeezing them, savoring them.

Hutch’s moans were getting louder and Starsky knew he was getting close. He stopped and lifted his head.

“Top or bottom, your choice, babe,” he told Hutch.

“No. Your choice, partner,” Hutch replied.

“Are we seriously gonna do this again?” Starsky griped.

“Do what again?” Hutch asked, not understanding.

“Get in an argument?”

“No argument. I’ll choose top,” said Hutch.

“Good,” Starsky replied, proceeding to gently distribute the lube all around Hutch’s cock and slipping a greased finger into his own anus to get it ready.

“Where do you want me?” Starsky asked.

“Here. On your knees.”

Starsky proceeded to do as he was instructed. He would do anything for his blonde lover.

Hutch entered Starsky gently as he kneeled behind him. “This okay”?

“Yeah, it’s great, mmm, you can go faster, babe,” Starsky moaned.

Hutch thrust his pelvis back and forth against his partner, and as he got closer to orgasm, he leaned against Starsky as closely as he could and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight as he came inside him. Then he collapsed on the bed beside him, panting heavily.

He thought perhaps Starsky had been right about the jet lag after all, because he suddenly felt as if he could sleep forever. But maybe that was because he hadn’t been able to sleep at all since they had returned home from back east.

All of a sudden, Starsky got up from the bed.

“Where are you going?” Hutch asked, concerned.

“Just goin’ to clean up,” said Starsky as he kissed Hutch on the lips. “Go to sleep, babe, I’ll be right back.”

Hutch sat up. “What about you? We’re not finished.” Hutch seemed hurt that Starsky didn’t want to orgasm as Hutch had.

“We’ve got all the time in the world, babe,” Starsky said as he gazed lovingly upon his sleepy partner.

Hutch got up and pushed Starsky back down on the bed. “No better time like the present,” he said, as he lay beside Starsky. Hutch twined one hand through his partner’s thick chest hair as he leaned over and took Starsky’s cock in his mouth. As tired as he was, he wanted to do this for him. He slowly circled his tongue around Starsky’s cock, moving his head up and down, placing his other hand behind Starsky’s thigh and lifting it up slightly.

Starsky moaned deeply and quickly came in Hutch’s mouth.

Afterwards, as Hutch lay with his head resting on Starsky’s stomach, eyes closed, holding his partner’s hand, he thought silently to himself of the Hanukkah blessing that Starsky had taught him on the plane ride east; the one that was said only on the first night of Hanukkah: Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu melech ha’olam shehecheyanu v’kiyimanu v’higi’anu laz’man hazeh. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion.

Despite his Protestant upbringing and his catechism classes, Hutch hadn’t believed in God before, not really. He had seen too many terrible things which had made him question His existence. But ever since Starsky had been returned to him from the brink of death, his thoughts had been different, questioning, grateful.

Lying against Starsky now, he recited a new blessing in his mind: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has granted life to my partner and returned him to me, so that we might be together this holiday, happy and well, and loving each other. For we are truly blessed.

“Babe?” Starsky asked, wondering if Hutch had fallen asleep.

“Sorry, what?” asked Hutch, opening his eyes, the recitation still echoing in his mind.

“I think we should call my ma,” Starsky said, his tone reverent and serious.

“You mean now?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to tell her about us. No more keeping secrets,” said Starsky.

“Are you sure? What about your brother?”

“I think he’ll be okay with knowing, too. I gotta feelin’.”

Hutch sat up. “You’re serious.” He was awed by his partner’s sudden change of heart.

“You’re damn right, I’m serious. And I want to tell her before Hanukkah ends.”

“Doesn’t it end on Saturday?”

“Yeah, but why wait. What time is it?”

“It’s 11:30 pm in New York, Starsk. Isn’t that too late?”

“Probably, but I don’t care. This is too important.”

With that, Starsky reached over and dialed his ma while Hutch put his head close to Starsky’s so he could listen in, his arm draped closely around his partner’s shoulder.

“Hello,” Mrs. Starsky answered, sounding worried at getting a phone call so late at night.

“Ma, it’s Davey. I’m sorry it’s so late, but there’s somethin’ I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now.”

“Are you okay, Davey, what is it?”

“I should have told you this when Hutch and me were there, but….”

“Hutch and I,” Hutch interrupted.

“What? Hold on Ma, Hutch said something I didn’t catch.” He gave Hutch a quizzical look while muting the phone with his hand.

“It’s ‘Hutch and I,’ not ‘Hutch and me’,” Hutch clarified.

“Oh,” said Starsky, considering Hutch’s advice.

“Ma, I should have told you this when Hutch and I were there, but I chickened out. I wanted to tell you that….” Starsky hesitated, trying to decide how to put it without offending his ma’s delicate sensibilities.

“David, are you trying to tell me that you and Hutch are in love? Because I already know, dear.”

“You already know? How?” Starsky asked incredulously, looking at Hutch.

“Yes. Nicky told me. I just wish the two of you had told me together when you were here.”

Starsky and Hutch looked at each other. Starsky’s unspoken look silently asked Hutch if he had told Nicky, while Hutch’s shaking head answered that he had not.

“Ma, how did Nicky know? Hutch and me….I mean, Hutch and I, we never told him.”

“He said he just knew.”

“Uh,” Starsky stammered, looking uncomfortable as Hutch pulled him closer.

“It’s okay, David. As a matter of fact, we’re both thrilled about it.”

Starsky looked shocked, as if he couldn’t understand what his ma was saying, while Hutch reassured him by kissing his forehead.

“Maybe it’s because we’re thankful that you’re alive, or maybe we’re grateful that you have Hutch, but we’re both really happy for you.”

“Nicky said that?”

“Well, not exactly in those words, but I know he is, in his own way.”

“Oh,” was all Starsky could manage.

“You seem to be at a loss for words, dear. Why don’t you put Hutch on the phone? He never seems to be at a loss for words.”

“He’s right here, Ma.”

“Mrs. S?” asked Hutch.

“Call me Ma, Ken.”

“Ma? I don’t know about that, Mrs. S.”

“Well then, how about Mom. Would that work?”

“Sure, Mrs. S, I mean, Mom. Thanks.”

“No, Ken. Thank you. It’s because of you that my oldest son is alive, and well, and happy. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.”

“I, um, I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s late, we should probably hang up now,” said Starsky. “How about we talk more tomorrow, Ma, during our usual Friday night phone call?”

“Okay, David. But before you two hang up, I hope you’ll come out to visit for Passover next year. It begins the evening of March 31st.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Hutch replied.

“We’ll put it on our calendar,” Starsky added. “Good night, Ma, I love you.”

“Good night, dears. I love you both very much.”

As he was hanging up the phone, Starsky looked at Hutch, who was blushing, and embraced him.

“What did I do to deserve you, Blintz?”

“Everything,” answered Hutch.

הסוף

(The End)