In re Marriage Cases

It’s the spring of 2008 and the Californian Supreme Court may pass a judgement allowing for the legalization of same-sex marriage. The boys have some differing opinions about this.

This story takes place in the run up to the very brief legalization of same-sex marriage in California in 2008. It was one of those fics where characters just started speaking and I just had to get everything they said written down before they stopped. With thanks to Mungo_of_Maundery for the beta.

This fic appeared in the 2019 ShareCon Zine. The Starsky and Hutch fandom has such an extraordinary tradition of zines and to be featured in one, and especially the SHareCon zine, was such an honor for me. This fic wouldn’t be half of what it is without the help, support, and editing of Cyanne, and frankly I don’t think I would be the writer I am today without it. So, to Cyanne, thank you!

Cross posted from my AO3 as internetpiratearrr.

March 4, 2008

“Maybe I just think we should be focusing on different battles. Hell, Starsky, you saw what happened to Johnny just last week—and it’s not the first time a kid from the center has been taken to the hospital. The last thing the movement needs to be focusing on is marriage.” Hutch was pacing behind the couch, wound tight, his volume rising as he emphasized his point. He stopped, eyebrows raised and finger out, pointing at Starsky who was leaning over the back of the couch, eyes wide and gazing at Hutch entreatingly.

“You know as well as I do how much it would mean to these kids to be able to marry, Hutch. It gives them hope, shows them their love means as much as a straight person’s does, that they can have just as much of a chance at lifelong commitment.” Starsky’s voice was pleading and quieter in contrast to Hutch’s diatribe.

“I don’t want to try and be like straight people,” Hutch burst out, refusing to give in, squaring his shoulders before setting about pacing again. “I don’t want to have to aspire to their paper-thin rituals; they’re all a veneer. It’s all a sham, Starsky. I would know, remember?” He turned on Starsky now, blazing and defiant, confident in his sincerity and expecting Starsky to be passionate and engaged in indignant response.

Instead, Starsky had slumped down, his head resting on his arms and looking away from Hutch. His eyes were dim and hurt and they avoided Hutch entirely; instead they were seemingly fixed upon an unspecific point on the wall behind Hutch. He gave a hard swallow. “You mean, if this becomes legal , you don’t want to marry me?” His voice was quiet, thick with upset, and unbearably tentative.

Hutch sighed, “I just don’t see the point, Starsk. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that I love you.”

Starsky finally looked at him, sitting up and leaning forward, eyes imploring. “But it’s about showing commitment.”

Hutch’s momentary patience snapped, “I’ve lived with you for the past 30 years, Starsky! Loved you for the past 40; what other expression of commitment do you fucking need?”

Starsky recoiled from Hutch’s outburst, once again looking away from Hutch, trying to hide the hurt. Hutch watched as Starsky tipped his head back a little as he bit his lip and clearly tried desperately to stem back tears. The fight left Hutch with a rush and he was left feeling smaller than a woodlouse.

“Oh, Starsk. I don’t mean I don’t love you, that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you. You mean everything to me and if it means this much to you then I’ll marry you if they let us and it’s what you really want.” His hand reached out to touch, their long-held tradition of comfort.

“But you wouldn’t want it?” Starsky’s brow was furrowed with confusion and he looked like a lost little boy. “I don’t want to get married to someone who doesn’t want to marry me .” He let out a little half laugh that sounded a far too much like a sob and he shook Hutch’s hand off his shoulder. He looked shaken. “Here I’ve spent 40 years wishing I could marry you, show the world how much you mean to me. I never figured you might not want the same thing.”

Hutch pinched the bridge of his nose. “They already know, Starsky. Every time they see you look at me, they know. You’re not exactly subtle, buddy.” He gave Starsky a small smile, his voice gentle and sweet. Starsky had set his jaw, Hutch knew his partner and he was evidently too wounded for Hutch to solve this through kind words. Instead, an adversarial streak seemed to have risen within Starsky.

“What about at the hospital?” he demanded. “What if you get hurt and they don’t let me see you?”

“You have a point, but we have one another’s power of attorney.” Hutch shrugged, “It’s never been a problem before.”

“That was when we were both cops and you know it. None of the nurses would even remember us now.”

Hutch threw up his hands in frustration, “All right then, I already said I’ll marry you if that’s what you want.”

Starsky appeared more agitated, too, kneeling up on the couch and tugging at his greyed hair with his left hand, “Not unless you want it too, Hutch.” He sighed and his shoulders dipped, “You gotta want it too, Hutch, or it’ll be just as fake as it was with Vanessa.”

Hutch let out a deep breath, tired of this discussion and feeling hurt himself now, “I love you, doesn’t that count for anything? 40 years, Starsky. You’re talking like you’re the girl I knocked up when I was 17, except this time I won’t do the honorable thing.”

“No, Hutch, you’re talking like you’re that girl, like that’s the situation we’re in. I don’t want to marry you out of duty, or honor, or out of societal acceptance. I want to marry you because I love you like you say you love me.”

Hutch cocked his eyebrows and his head dipped to one side, slightly mockingly. “I don’t want to be your wife, Starsky.”

Starsky’s face was, once again, twisted in confusion, “Who asked you to be my wife?” He looked at Hutch and spoke slowly and clearly, looking directly into Hutch’s tired eyes. His nodded forward, as though trying to push understanding towards Hutch, “I want you to be my husband. I want to be your husband. They keep going on about gay marriage like it won’t let straight trans people marry too, and we’re bi at any rate.” Starsky had perked up, caught up in his argument, “But, damn it Hutch, I sure as hell don’t want to straight-marry you.”

Hutch felt his chest ache with tenderness as Starsky picked up energy. “It’s just a piece of paper, Starsk.” But Hutch knew his voice was soft and filled with affection at Starsky’s passion.

“Yeah, but it says I love you. Who wouldn’t want that? Besides, it would mean so much to the kids at the center, Hutch. It all seems so far away for them, it all seems so unreal that they might get to meet someone, fall in love, settle down, have everything, no holds barred. If I’d seen two men get to marry when I was young then maybe I wouldn’t have felt I had to waste so much time on girls when I was really in love with you.” Starsky gave a wry smile which Hutch returned faintly, “I know it seems trivial in the face of 30 years together, but it nearly broke us up, Hutch. I tried to make something real with every girl I came across; you grew a moustache and fucked my girlfriend to prove it really wasn’t. Real that is.” Starsky looked at Hutch who felt decades old regret fill him once again.

His voice cracked. “I’m sorry.”

Starsky leaned further over the back of the couch and grabbed his hand, “Hutch, I forgave you 30 years ago, mushbrain. All I’m saying is, I was so desperate for the picket fence that I nearly threw us away, and if I’d known that I could marry you, well–I don’t think I would have. I’d have known that my love for you was allowed to be just as real and as happy as any committed straight couples. Like the Dobey’s or something. I’d know that we could have as much of a life together as they did.”

Hutch squeezed Starsky’s hand but he swallowed thickly against hurt that had lodged in his throat, “I thought you knew that already.”

“Of course I do, you idiot. I’ve known for 30 years. What I mean is, I could have known for 40 years.” Starsky shrugged, “I don’t regret those ten years when we were first together and all, but we get to stop those kids going through what I did. All of that confusion and pain, for both of us. Have some compassion, Hutchinson. Save them from having to grow a sad moustache, huh?”

“That moustache was era appropriate,” Hutch grumbled. Starsky’s eyebrows raised in judgment, clearly disbelieving. Hutch pulled back and sighed once more, scrubbing his hand against his face, “The kids have already met us, you know. They know us, know that two men can be in love, make a life-long commitment to one another.”

“Yeah, but this way we get to really belabor the point and piss off the homophobes at the same time. C’mon, a party to ruin the sanctity of straight marriage, Hutch. What could be better than that?”

“I thought the point was it wouldn’t ruin the sanctity of straight marriage.” Hutch said, still digging his heels in, but a smile was playing on his lips.

“Yeah, but the homophobes don’t know that, do they?” Starsky said with a grin, and Hutch smiled too, resolve slipping in the face of Starsky’s infectious enthusiasm.

Starsky evidently saw this and believed it his opportunity to go for a home run, “I know we don’t need it; I know it won’t prove anything. You were married and your relationship ended up meaning nothing. We aren’t married and our relationship ended up meaning everything. But let’s show them how to do marriage right, huh? We’ve been doing it right for 30 years, Hutch, this is the only way to beat them at their own game.” Starsky was going to fall over the back of the couch if he leant over it any more than he was, and Hutch pushed at his shoulders to move him back to safety.

“Okay, Starsk.” He was still smiling and there was morning light shining in his eyes.

Starsky blinked back at him, “Wait. You mean it? You want to get married too?” His confusion only made Hutch grin more, the decision settling within him and lighting him golden throughout. Starsky pulled at his hand and Hutch curled it around Starsky’s. “It’s not just ‘cos it’ll shut me up or make me happy?” Starsky looked up at him with painfully hopeful eyes.

“Well it is because it’ll make you happy.” Starsky’s head dipped as he deflated and looked away. “But,” Hutch said, touching his hand to Starsky’s chin and guiding his lost face to look at Hutch as his hand moved to cradle his partner’s cheek, “it would also make me happy too, Starsk. Really, really happy,” he added with a grin.

Starsky’s face broke into a smile that lit the room, “So you’ll marry me then? If they let us I mean?”

Hutch leaned down to touch his forehead to Starsky’s. “Aren’t you supposed to be on one knee to ask me that?” Starsky pulled back in confusion before awareness of what Hutch meant dawned on him. He beamed.

Chapter End Notes:

Same-sex marriage was legalised in California on 15th May 2008 following the decision that preventing it was unconstitutional and licenses were given in the June of that year. On 4th November 2008, Californian voters approved Proposition 8, changing their constitution to prohibit it. Marriages that occurred within this short period remained legally recognised, but no other licenses were allowed to be issued until 28th June 2013. So hopefully, having decided to marry, the boys were quick about it. I have made an edit to the original version as published in the zine where Starsky said, “I don’t regret those first ten years when we were cops and all,” because whilst this was meant in reference to them not being exclusive during this time, I believe they absolutely should regret having been cops given the police force’s relationship with racism.