Is Love

While celebrating Valentine’s Day, Dobey sees something that makes him question what love really is.

This story originally appeared in the SHareCon 2004 zine.

“I’ll have the Porterhouse, medium well, with mushrooms,” Captain Harold Dobey told the waiter who was taking their order.

“Potato or rice?”

“Potato, loaded. And I’d like to change the dressing on my salad to blue cheese.”

“Very well, sir. I’ll be back with your wine shortly.”

“Harold!” Edith Dobey gently admonished her husband. “A loaded potato? What would your doctor say?”

Dobey reached across the table and patted his wife’s hand. “It’s Valentine’s Day, honey. And this is a special dinner for just the two of us, for once.” He removed his hand and adjusted the napkin on his lap. “I’ll get back on the no-fat-no-taste bandwagon tomorrow.” He sighed and then smiled. “Promise.”

This really is a good idea, he thought as he gazed fondly at her. Rarely did they ever go out to eat without the kids, and even more rare was a night out to a restaurant as nice as this one.

The modem decor was a mixture of brass and other metals. There was a lot of natural light coming in from huge windows that made up the right side wall. Original works of art graced the others. Each table had a small candle giving off a romantic red glow befitting the holiday being celebrated. He had made the reservations way back in November because the restaurant was so popular among the rich and influential and early reservations were a must. He also liked the fact that the place was out of the way from his regular life in Bay City. They weren’t likely to run into anyone they knew. Yet, it had always nagged at him how he had even heard of the place. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t quite remember.

Looking around at the other patrons, he could see that there were mostly couples seated at the other tables. Some people had brought bouquets of flowers with them. One couple had a bunch of balloons, and a few were sharing champagne. Already one woman had let out a delightful squeal as the man she was with had presented her with a ring box and had apparently asked her to marry him. He had a surprise box of fine Belgium chocolates waiting at home to give Edith later on tonight. Love was in the air.

“Excuse me, dear. I’m just going to go to the little boys room. Be right back.” He gave his wife a small kiss on the cheek, and then weaved his way through the aisles, working his way back to the front of the restaurant.

On the way, he passed a couple that looked like they had also exchanged rings. They were holding their left hands together across the table, matching, shiny rings visible, and it seemed as though they had just got done sharing a kiss. And they were both women.

Well, we are in Elmwood, he thought. The restaurant was located on the edge of a well-known gay part of the suburb.

Dobey quickly looked away from the couple as he walked by, telling himself that it wasn’t because they were two people of the same sex, but because public displays of affection had always made him uncomfortable.

Finding the restroom, Dobey quickly took care of business and washed his hands. As he passed through the door, he noticed that the hostess was leading another couple into the dining area. He stopped. It was a very familiar couple.

Starsky and Hutchinson.

Have I always thought of them as a couple?

He was just about to say something to get their attention when Hutch’s hand reached out and grabbed Starsky’s right butt cheek, then gave it at firm squeeze and then a pat. The hand next moved up to the small of Starsky’s back and rested there as they glided through the isle. Starsky didn’t react at all to the touches.

The thought flashed through Dobey’s mind that they were a couple. A couple like that.

Could it be true? Was this new or had they always been like that? It didn’t seem possible and yet…

He had watched his two detectives touch each other in different ways for years. Some touches were more affectionate than others. Some were more intimate. But they had always been that way. Ever since they first paired up as a team for him. And they had continued using touch as a form of communication between them, even in the face of other officers taunting them and calling them names. Yet, they had never changed, never curtailed their public affection for each other. But none of it had given him the same feeling as the one just now did, and it had nothing to do with the intimacy of it. It was just…different.

Had their relationship been this way the whole time? All these years? He couldn’t believe he would have missed that.

And what about all those women? What about Terry and Abby? Rosie and Gillian? True, none of them stayed around very long. But they seemed genuine enough. In fact, wouldn’t Terry and Starsky be married today if she hadn’t died?

Maybe, and then again, maybe not. And just what in the hell was that Kira thing all about anyways? He’d never understood that one.

No, the touching and affection had always been there, even in public, but it had always felt like a brotherly type of love to him.

Making his way back to his wife, he saw that Starsky and Hutch were sitting in exactly the same place they were, but three rows of tables and one strategically placed plant over. Starsky and Hutch hadn’t seen him, and he noticed that when his chair was pulled up to his place at the table, he couldn’t see them. But if he leaned back and looked to his right…there they were.

He quickly picked up his napkin and rearranged it on his lap. The wine and salad had arrived and he took up his fork and attacked his salad with gusto.

“…Harold?”

“Hmm…What? I’m sorry, Edith. I didn’t hear you.”

“I noticed, dear. You’ve been miles away for the last minute. Something the matter?”

Putting down his fork, he looked up at his wife. How to bring this up. Should I bring this up? I don’t even know how I feel about it. About them. Them in that way. “I just…”

Then the waiter interrupted him. “How are your salads?” he asked.

“Fine, fine,” Dobey blustered.

“Very good, thank you,” Edith answered.

Satisfied, the waiter went away.

Dobey glanced up at his wife, but she continued to eat and did not push her earlier question.

Finishing his salad, Dobey decided to chance a glance at his detectives. Pushing his chair back a few feet…

They were sitting on the edges of their chairs, face to face, inches from each other, both smiling, talking in seemingly low tones and holding–yes holding hands above the table. Dobey looked around but no one other than himself seemed to be paying them any attention.

Starsky looked…good, considering. He was still too thin from the shooting, but was recovering well and seemed to have attained a healthy glow this evening. Must be that love in the air. Then Dobey was sure that whatever form their relationship had taken now was new. Probably since he got shot.

“Harold!”

Dobey turned around quickly and looked at his wife.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Dobey scooted back to his place as the waiter took the salad plates away. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m here with you now. I just thought I saw some people that I knew. It turns out I don’t know them at all.”

“Another couple celebrating Valentines?”

“Yes, I suppose so. But I’m not sure it’s the kind of love that should be celebrated. Especially in public.”

“Not the kind…? And what ‘kind’ of love would that be? You’re not being very clear.”

Dobey squirmed in his seat, having now put himself on the spot. “You know…”

“Harold, I’ve never been a mind reader. And I’m not now.”

“It’s just hard to talk about. There are actually a few couples like them here tonight.”

“Like them? Like who?”

“You know, like when a woman loves a woman or a man…a man.”

The waiter then arrived with their main courses. “The steak, medium well. And the salmon with sorrel cream sauce. May I get you anything else?”

“No. We’re fine, thank you,” Dobey said.

The waiter filled their wine glasses and left. The next few minutes were silent as they started in on their meals. Maybe she’ll just forget about it…

“You know in Church–” Edith started.

“The Bible states that homosexuality is wrong,” Dobey interrupted.

“Will you please let me finish?”

“Yes, yes. I’m sorry. But really, is this the place and the time to talk about this? This is our special night together. I don’t want to spend the time debating the morality of the issue.”

“All right, dear. You just seemed all of a sudden upset at the idea and I had never noticed that before.”

“Yeah, well before I really didn’t know anybody who was in that kind of relationship. At least while they were…engaged in it.”

“Really, and now?” Edith pressed.

Dobey fidgeted with his steak.

“Harold. And now?”

“Later, Edith. Later.”

“Okay. I don’t want to spoil our lovely dinner, but I do have one thing to say. Even Jesus didn’t pass judgment upon the woman who committed adultery.”

Yes. That was true. And he would pray for some more understanding on the subject now that it was coming close not only to his personal life, but to his life at work as well. Not that Starsky was coming back to work any time soon, if ever.

“Would you like to see the dessert menu?” The waiter reappeared again, clearing away the used dishes.

Dobey looked at Edith who seemed eager to take a peek.

“Sure,” he answered. “And can I order coffee, please. Decaf.”

The waiter nodded and left.

Dobey moved back in his chair to take one more look at his detectives.

A waiter was at their table delivering their main courses. When he left, Starsky and Hutch both looked at their meals, looked at each other, laughed, and then changed plates. They were so…natural. Of course, they always had been.

“Here’s what we have tonight…”started the waiter. After ordering dessert, Dobey moved the conversation to more mundane things. Soon he felt a hand on his shoulder as Starsky and Hutch came up beside their table.

“Captain,” Hutch said sounding surprised.

“Starsky, Hutchinson,” Dobey responded unenthusiastically.

Edith threw him a look. Turning her attention to the partners, “Ken, Dave. How good to see you two.”

“Edith.” Hutch leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Starsky did the same.

“Dave, you’re looking better every time I see you.”

“Thanks, Edith. I’m feelin’ better too. Especially today.” Starsky gave Hutch a shy smile that didn’t escape the captain’s notice.

Hutch started, “Well, we’ll leave you to your dessert. We thought we saw the captain here and wanted to come over and say hello. So, goodnight.”

“And I’m glad you did. It’s always good to see both of you,” said Edith. “Can Rosie and I come visit you tomorrow after school, Dave? She made a special Valentine’s Day card for you.”

“Aww, that’s real sweet, Edith. But Hutch has taken a long weekend and has the next couple of days off. We’re going to San Francisco. It’ll be my first real trip to anywhere since…since last spring.”

“Well, that sounds very exciting. Next week sometime then,” she said.

“That would great, Edith. Just give me a little call before you come over to make sure I’m home.”

“Oh, you’ll be home,” said Hutch. He turned to whisper loudly to Edith, “He just wants some time to clean up that pig sty of an apartment of his before he has visitors.” He winked at her.

“Half of it’s your mess, blintz.” Starsky gave Hutch’s arm a small punch.

“I guess I better get him home. He’s getting dopey. Not used to having so much wine.” They both snickered.

“Goodnight, Detectives. I’ll see you on Tuesday then, Hutch,” said Dobey, dismissing them with a wave of his hand.

“Will do, Captain,” Hutch responded.

As they left, Dobey watched them walk away, Hutch putting that same hand on Starsky’s back to guide him forwards. Protective. Maybe that touch was just Hutch being protective of his partner. But that squeeze from earlier… “San Francisco…” he muttered to himself, shaking his head.

“Now there goes love, Harold.” Edith’s voice snapped his attention back to her. He stared at her for a few moments. She stared back, unblinking.

“You knew.” It was a statement.

“I suspected.”

“And you never bothered to mention it to me? Never bothered to tell me?”

“It’s not my place to tell you, dear. If it makes any difference though, it’s a new thing I think. After the shooting or at least not long before it.”

“But–”

“And it’s special, unique. Can’t you feel it? It’s love.”

And as he thought about it, as he let some of his prejudices slide away, he realized that it was special. That it was something he had felt from them years ago and something he could feel from them even now as he watched the door close on their retreating backs. That it was love. And who was he to judge them? Throw the first stone as it were. Starsky and Hutch would ultimately never have to answer to him and he truly believed that nothing we ourselves did could separate us from the love of God.

The best he could do was to continue to show them love and to support them through the tough times ahead they were sure to face. Most of the world, and especially the police force of Bay City, weren’t there yet when it came to respecting each other’s differences. Especially all the differences when it came to the subject of love. But he would do it. He would be an example to his children if nothing else.

Most importantly, he would keep trying to live by what he considered the most important mandate in the Bible: To love your neighbor as yourself.

fin