Like Pulling Teeth

Hutch bribes Starsky to go to the dentist

There was a discussion on the Starsky and Hutch bRomance group about certain episodes not getting many missing scenes. Losing Streak was mentioned by Dawnwind so I wrote this.

No actual denistry is described in this fic – Posted on A03 under Ugerchucker

They’d been sat in the Torino outside the dentist’s office for over ten minutes and Hutch was starting to get impatient.

“You know, staring at the building isn’t going to magically transport you inside.” Hutch said with a sigh.

Starsky didn’t react. He continued to stare at the building as if he was being led to the gas chamber.

Starsky’s bad tooth had been an on going issue throughout their dealings with Vic Rankin and no amount of whiskey or other self help remedies had made the problem go away. It was time he got it fixed professionally and to make sure that happened Hutch had booked the appointment personally. He’d even volunteered to drive, but Starsky insisted he didn’t need to be dragged. Although he did drive around in circles a couple of times, pretending he didn’t know where to go.

“You know what?” Starsky said, reaching for the keys in the ignition. “It’s barely hurting any more. I think it’s finally getting better.”

Hutch held his hand over Starsky’s, stopping him from revving the engine.

“Come on, you know it has to be done.”

Starsky didn’t let go of the keys. “But there are still some home remedies I haven’t tried. I heard garlic’s meant to help…”

“Starsky, I will drag you in there and strap you to the chair myself, so help me.” Hutch used his warning figure to emphasis his threat.

“Kinky.” Starsky growled, but then winced.

“We’re going in.” Hutch got out of the car. Starsky didn’t immediately follow, but ultimately didn’t resist when Hutch opened his car door and took hold of his elbow.

“I still don’t know why you can’t just sock me in the mouth.” Starsky said as he tentatively stepped out of the car. “It worked when White kicked me.” His tongue felt around the missing tooth on the other side of his mouth.

“Because I could knock the wrong tooth out or break your jaw.” Hutch gripped Starsky’s elbow tighter and partly dragged him through the front door. “Besides, this way will hurt far less. They’ll use a local anaesthetic, you won’t feel a thing.”

Once outside the waiting room door Starsky froze.

“I read once that anaesthetic has no effect on some people.” Starsky swallowed hard. “This one guy woke up while they were taking his appendix out and he died from the pain.”

“Starsk, you had surgery to remove a bullet a few months back.” Hutch said, starting to lose his patience. “Were you awake during any of that?”

“No, but…”

“Exactly. Now, no more stalling.” Hutch opened the waiting room door and pushed his partner in.

The waiting room was small, with only a few other patients milling around. A middle aged woman was reading a paper in the corner, next to a grumpy looking man with a handkerchief pressed against his lips. The receptionist was talking to a little old man who was complaining about his new dentures and a young mother was trying to get her son to stop chewing on a LEGO block.

“It looks pretty busy.” Starsky said, looking around. “Maybe we should come back another day.”

“You have an appointment.” Hutch tried moving Starsky towards the desk, but he wouldn’t move. “Come on, Starsk. Look, I’ll buy you a beer when this is over.”

“Not thirsty.”

“Okay, how about I make a deal with you. If you go in there and get that tooth sorted, I’ll…” Hutch cupped his hands around Starsky’s ear and whispered. At first Starsky continued to look worried, but as Hutch begin to talk, Starsky’s face went through a whole journey of emotions as he listened to the filthy, depraved things his partner was describing. First there was surprise, followed by shock and then ending with a giddy smile.

“You’d do all that…for real?” Starsky whispered.

“Yep, all of it, I promise.”

Starsky lowered his voice further. “Could you…add some whipped cream?”

“If you’re really good” Hutch wiggled his eyebrows.

Starsky took another moment to think. He gingerly felt along the side of his jaw and then looked up into Hutch’s pleading eyes. “Okay, but you better hold up your end.”

“You have my word.”

Starsky hesitated no longer and went up to the receptionist’s desk to check in.

*

Starsky’s appointment took over an hour, leaving Hutch to spend the time reading an out of date gossip magazine and listening to a man with no teeth explain how he lost each one. He humoured the old man for a while before excusing himself and popping out to get a protein shake, a newspaper and a bottle of Tylenol for Starsky. He was just finishing the shake when Starsky emerged, holding a tissue up to his drooling mouth.

“There now, was that really so bad?” Hutch said, sounding a little patronising.

“I’ll let you know when I can feel my mouth again.” Starsky tried to say while mopping up the saliva running down his chin.

“I got you a present.” Hutch handed Starsky the bottle of pills. “Just what you’ll need when we get home.”

Starsky didn’t look impressed by the gift. “You better make good on your promise.” He grumbled as he made his away over to the door.

One week later Hutch did make good on his promise. They didn’t leave Starsky’s bedroom for 4 hours and there wasn’t a drop of whipped cream left by the end.