Monologue in the Middle of the Night II

Sequel to: Monologue In the Middle of the Night.

Starsky has survived Gunther’s attack but still has a long ways to go. These are just a few random thoughts from Starsky’s POV as he watches his partner sleep and thinks about what the future might hold.

Oh, babe! You look so tired! And you fell asleep in that chair again—you know how bad that is for your back! You’re gonna be all hunched over like Quasimodo in morning if you don’t move soon. But, God, I hate to wake ya’! You look so peaceful…

These last few months have been so hard…for both of us! I have to be honest with ya’, Hutch…there’s been times I wished those damned doctors had just let me go when my heart stopped. I know that’s selfish, but I hurt so bad!

And look at me! I’m all cut up and sewn back together like somethin’ out of a bad horror movie. Everything I’ve been through, all the damned surgery and therapy and pills that make me puke my guts up…and I still can’t even go to the john on my own! What the Hell kind of future can I possibly have?

But then I close my eyes, and I can see you dancin’ with that nurse again. Or I catch a glimpse of that goofy smile you get on your face sometimes when you’re watching me and you think I’m not looking. It’s like you don’t even see the scars or the way my damned clothes bag on me or how my ribs stick out. You just see me…and you act like I’m the most beautiful thing on the planet.

It scares me, Hutch. How close I came to dyin’. Hell, I did die! I still could. That pneumonia last month almost took me out!

But you’ve stayed by my side every moment. You’ve made me keep fighting, long after I would have just given up. Do you have any idea how much I need you, babe? In spite of the fact that it’s the doctors who got all the credit, I know who really saved my life! You just wouldn’t let go o’ me, would ya’? And I don’t know sometimes now if I want to kiss ya’ or punch you out for making me stay. Why don’t you give me another month or so to decide, okay?

In the meantime, as much as I hate to, I guess it’s time to wake you, Sleeping Beauty. It’s almost time for my next round of those damned pills. Not to mention that I really, really have to pee! You always have said that my bladder’s the size of a walnut! < smiles>

But, Hutch…while you’re still safely asleep, I gotta tell ya’…I love you, babe. I couldn’t’ve made it this far without you. And in spite of how hard it is, I’m gonna stick with it and do my best to keep getting better. I owe you so damned much, partner! So I guess I’m just gonna hafta get well. After all you’ve done for me, I just can’t stand to let you down!

Now, wake up, Blondie, and get me to that damned bathroom! Or we’re both gonna be sorry!