Originally published in the SHareCon 2016 zine.
An argument could be made for the fact that it was just too depressing for Starsky to tell the truth: that every time he or Hutch meet a girl, the girl either got killed, or she abandoned them because they’re just too dangerous to be around.
Dear Nicky, Hutch met a pretty girl last week. Unfortunately, he nearly got killed because her ex-boyfriend was a crazy mobster, so she ran out on him. Hey, do you have any idea how long it takes needle tracks to fade away? Just curious. —Dave
Dear Nicky, Met a great girl last week. Unfortunately, she got shot. —Dave.
Dear Nicky, Hutch met a great girl last week. Unfortunately, she nearly got killed and raped because of a wacko who was after Hutch. Well, they were both blonds, y’see… hell, it’s a long story. She dumped him. —Dave.
Dear Nicky, Met a great girl last week. Unfortunately, her dad had to flee the country because of a case Hutch and I were on and she went with him. I’m bummed. —Dave
Dear Nicky, Hutch met a pretty girl last week. Unfortunately, she got strangled by her owner. He’s bummed. —Dave.
Dear Nicky, Hutch and I got tired of all the bullshit and decided to sleep together. Things are working out great. So far neither of us has been killed or has run out on the other. Maybe this’ll work. They’re painting the squadroom today so we’re taking it easy. Nothing but fun games of ping-pong and eating out. Life’s perfect. —Dave
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4 comments
You’ve distilled the essence! Thanks for the story. I enjoyed it.
Thanks Kath, your comments mean a lot to me.
Oof, those last four lines hit me hard! This fic is the perfect combination of comedy and tragedy. Love it, thank you.
Thanks so much, ACL, it means a lot!