Summer of ’71

Rookie cop, Ken Hutchinson, is looking for answers to his problems in all the wrong places. Even sometimes in a mirror.

This story was originally published in the alternate-universe (AU) themed zine, Timeless 2, in 2005, then reprinted with permissions, in the zine, Boys in Blue, in 2008.

Hutch looked around the room, a sense of unease surrounding him. The furniture was worn, almost threadbare in certain spots. Chinese take-out containers still sat on the kitchen counter, half-eaten as if waiting for somebody to come back and finish the rest. It was too quiet, too lonely. He hoped that he wouldn’t be alone for long; he had been alone for too long already. Maybe the apartment’s owner would get off shift soon and come home. Or maybe not. Maybe Hutch had come all this way to just sit in an empty apartment.

Why was he here? Why’d he keep coming here like he could find an answer? Was it because he was hoping he could escape reality for just a little while? Yeah, that was mainly it. Because out there he was confused, unsure of who he was, but in here he could forget all of that. He ceased to be a rookie cop, some uniformed kid just out of the Academy. In here, he was a man who didn’t owe anyone else an explanation. He came because he needed to, because he wanted to stop being defined by what he did and start being defined by who he was. He wasn’t a cop or a husband in here, he was merely Kenneth Hutchinson, lost soul needing to belong.

Hutch heard the key in the lock, so he rushed over to take his seat in the darkened corner. The element of surprise, that’s what he was hoping for. And he wasn’t disappointed. Hutch watched as the uniformed man came into his apartment, completely unaware of his guest. The apartment’s owner sighed as he closed the door and pocketed the key, leaning wearily against the wood and unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt.

It was then that Hutch spoke. “You’re not a very observant cop.”

Startled, the young man grabbed for his gun and almost had it out of the holster before his mind registered the voice.

“In fact,” Hutch continued, rising from his seat and coming out of the shadows, “being that slow on the draw could be dangerous.”

“I’m not slow when it counts,” the cop, John Davis, teased, smiling a bit. “Besides, if I were any faster you wouldn’t be around to complain.”

“Good for me.” Hutch smiled, coming nearer.

He trapped the young man between himself and the door, pushing him against it with such force that Hutch was sure the neighbors could hear the resulting thud.

“I missed you so much,” he breathed before taking the other man’s lips with his own.

His tongue sought entrance into that mouth, a request that was quickly granted. Hutch’s hands were placed firmly on either side of the cop’s face, fingers tracing the strands of hair that had been tossed out of place. All too quickly, the focus of his desire pulled away.

“How’d you get in?” Davis asked.

“Same way I always do, told your landlady that I forgot my key again. Pays to look like you, you know?”

“She’s gonna think I’ve got a problem,” Johnny sighed. “Every time you come here, you use the same line. She must think I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached.”

Hutch let his hand trail down Davis’ body. “Oh, I’m glad for everything that’s attached to you right now.” He punctuated his statement with a quick squeeze to Johnny’s cock. The young cop gave a start.

“You play dirty, Hutchinson.”

“I play it like I play it,” Hutch simply told him.

“And what made you run away to San Francisco this time, then? Vanessa throw you out again?”

“You think you’re second choice to her?” Hutch asked, nuzzling Johnny’s neck.

“Oh, then it’s the other one. Dear old Starsky had a date and you couldn’t stand it.”

Hutch pushed himself away from Davis, anger evident in his stance. “Don’t you dare use him against me.”

“Ooooh, hit a nerve,” Johnny taunted. “You don’t wanna bring him into our bedroom?”

“I came here to see you. You don’t want it, fine, I’ll leave.”

Hutch tried to push past, but Davis blocked his escape. “I didn’t say I didn’t want it. I just wondered what brought you.”

“I wanted to be with you. Can’t that be enough?”

Johnny shrugged. “Hey, I got no problem with you coming all this way to see me, whatever the reason.”

“Good.” Hutch relaxed a little. “Now shut up and let’s do something about those clothes.”

“Propositioning an officer is illegal you know,” Davis pointed out as he took off his glasses.

“So is everything we’ve done over the past year, but I haven’t been arrested yet,” Hutch told him, taking another quick kiss before helping Johnny with his clothes.

The black shirt was soon completely unbuttoned, Hutch pulling at the material until it came untucked from the pants Johnny wore. The young cop let Hutch pull the shirt completely off, revealing smooth skin. Hutch would not let himself be away from Johnny more than two seconds at a time, kissing the lean man’s face and neck as they began to move slowly towards the bedroom, Johnny dropping his glasses on the table as they passed.

“Watch out for the…” Johnny’s warning was cut off as Hutch fell backwards onto the bed.

“Found it.” Hutch laughed, looking up at Davis.

“You’re also over-dressed,” Johnny told him as he pulled Hutch’s t-shirt off.

Stepping back, he gave Hutch a better view of his own strip tease. “I don’t think I’ll be needing this,” Johnny indicated his belt, still laden with his weapon and equipment. He prolonged the show, slowly unbuckling it and laying it on the floor behind him.

“My turn?” At Johnny’s nod, Hutch stood up and removed his pants and underwear. He started to come closer, but Davis halted him.

“Uh-uh, no touching.” Hutch was sent back to his seat on the bed, waiting for Johnny to join him. The young cop bent to remove his shoes and socks, still casting an eye towards Hutch. That task completed, he stood and started on his pants. “Funny thing is,” he continued, unzipping his pants, “I was just telling the guys how I was gonna come home and crash.”

“I’m sure you’ll be more than ready for that, after.”

“We’ll see about that.” Davis pulled off his pants and underwear, throwing them off to the side. He turned his full attention to the man on the bed, advancing towards him. “I’m always up for changing my schedule for the right price.”

Davis pushed Hutch down onto the mattress, straddling him and indicating that he should pull himself up the bed so that the mattress fully supported him. Hutch complied, kissing the soft chest above him as he went.

“You want it slow or…”

“Now!” Hutch ordered. “I want it now. Been waiting for you for too long already.”

“I like a man who knows what he wants.” Johnny smiled at him. “Turn over, then.”

Hutch did as he was told, waiting as Davis searched through the bedside table for the lube. He found it quickly, as Johnny was soon back above Hutch. Davis tried to make small talk as he prepared himself and his bedmate.

“How long had you been waiting?”

“I don’t know; lost track of time I guess.” Hutch grabbed for a pillow, giving himself some bit of comfort.

“How’d you even know I would come home? I could’ve worked a double shift or been on night patrol.”

Hutch shrugged a little. “Took a chance. Gambles pay off sometimes.”

“I didn’t think you’d come back so soon,” Davis admitted.

“Needed to,” Hutch said, gripping the pillow beneath him. “Or had to. Either way, I’m here now.”

“Yes,” Johnny said as he entered his lover’s body, “you’re here now.”

Hutch let out a shuttered breath. His muscles convulsed as if getting used to the invasion. He had wanted it this way, quick and hard. Sometimes it was like this, but sometimes Johnny took his time and cared for Hutch like he was the most important man in the world. Whatever Hutch asked of him, it was done. He was using Johnny as much as he was being used, but what did it matter? It felt good. It kept him grounded. So why should he look deeper than that?

“Feels good,” Johnny breathed, digging his fingers into the flesh of Hutch’s back.

It did feel good, felt real. When was the last time Hutch felt real? He knew, but he didn’t want to bring his name into the bedroom again. He was here to forget all that. Johnny could give him what he needed, so there was no point in focusing on what he couldn’t have. The outside world wasn’t supposed to matter in here; it was just the two of them.

He felt Davis exhale as he came inside Hutch. Hutch’s mind was so far removed that he wondered if Davis had enjoyed himself. Johnny seemed pleased, so he’d take that as a yes. Soon, the lax body above him pulled away, leaving him cold and alone once again. Hutch heard the water going and soon Johnny was back with a wet washcloth, cleaning up Hutch as much as he could. That was soon discarded and Hutch’s bedmate lay down beside him. When Hutch finally turned over to look at him, he could see that Davis had put on his underwear again.

“You still with me?” Davis asked him.

“Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind,” Hutch said, placing a hand on the other’s chest.

“I can imagine. You get what you came for at least?”

“Always do,” Hutch told him, smiling just a little.

“Romance is most definitely dead,” Davis joked.

“You’re so beautiful,” Hutch breathed, tracing a line down Johnny’s chest.

“And you’re a little perverted. Both of us are.”

“Why? Because we have sex with each other?” Hutch asked, kissing a soft place just above Johnny’s nipple. “You like it and that’s not normal?”

“You think this is normal?” Davis laughed. “We’re having sex with ourselves when it comes right down to it.”

“Mmm, always did like myself,” Hutch teased. “But you’re not me. I may look like you, but we’re not the same.”

“Oh, believe me, I know that well. If my life was as backwards as yours, I’d be at the bottom of a bottle by now.”

Hutch’s attention was on Davis’ face now. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means what I said. Your life hasn’t been simple for years.”

“And yours is?” Hutch countered, pulling away from his bedmate to put some distance between them.

“I know where I stand and what I stand for,” Johnny told him. “Can you say the same thing?”

“You’re so sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

“Well, at least my life isn’t as messed up as yours at the moment.” Davis pulled himself up as he propped against the headboard.

“So now I’m broken, huh? Poor boy, too backwards to realize it?” Hutch got off the bed and put some more space between them.

“Maybe,” Johnny admitted. “You’re a rookie cop, married, in love with your best friend, and cheating on them both with someone who could pass for your twin brother. Yeah, I’d call that a little broken.”

“And you’re not?” Hutch bit back, grabbing his discarded underwear from the floor and putting it on. “Oh, I forgot, you know what you stand for.”

“I know what I want out of this life. It took me a long time, but I finally know.”

“I thought I did, too,” Hutch sighed.

“Why’d you become a cop?” Davis asked, completely changing the subject.

“What?”

“A cop. You weren’t always planning on doing this, so why’d you choose it?”

Hutch thought for a moment. “To help people. I needed to make a difference.”

“You know why I did it?” At Hutch’s questioning glance, Johnny went on. “I was tired of seeing all the bad guys win.”

“We can try to turn the tide,” Hutch said. “Make sure they get arrested and…”

“We can do more than try,” Davis broke in. “We can make sure they never hurt another person.”

“I hope that’s true.”

“We’re the next generation. We can make a difference and clean up the streets once and for all.”

“It’s so easy out there,” Hutch admitted. “Catch the bad guys, help the good guys, and be the hero at the end of the day.”

“Isn’t so simple when you take off the badge, though.”

“How did my life get so complicated?” Hutch asked him.

“Life’s never been an easy road,” Davis told him. “Do you still love Vanessa?”

“Yes… no… I don’t know,” Hutch sighed. “She’s still in love with a memory and I probably am, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Van married a pre-med student who was gonna make her a doctor’s wife.”

“And you thought she was gonna make you… what? Somebody that could be what your parents wanted?”

“We both changed,” Hutch told him.

“But you’re both still holding on like you can make it work.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this!” Hutch shouted, turning away from Johnny’s gaze. “It’s all messed up and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“You love him,” Davis pointed out, simply and without accusation. “That’s a good place to start.”

“I don’t even know what love is anymore,” Hutch said, turning back towards the bed.

“You may not want to, but deep down you know.” Blue eyes looked up at Hutch. “What you and Van have left, it’s not about love.”

“I’ve been playing it both ways for so long, I can’t even tell what’s real anymore.”

Johnny got up, coming closer to Hutch. “You’re pulling yourself in so many directions.” A gentle hand cradled his face. “This, between us, this isn’t love either. You know it, we both do. It’s a good lay, a nice game of make believe.”

“And then I run back home to her and pretend it’s all fine again.”

“No,” Davis corrected. “You run back home to him and know that it is.”

Hutch remained silent.

Johnny looked at him a few more moments before moving away. “You know why you chose me? Why you come here time after time?”

“Why?”

“I show you what you could be,” Johnny told him, walking towards the dresser that sat on the opposite wall. “I’m you without the baggage. I know what I want and I go after it. You want that.”

“I want what I can’t have.”

“You’ve convinced yourself that you don’t deserve it,” Davis said, opening the dresser and pulling out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

“Maybe I don’t,” Hutch told him.

“You’re worth it, all of it, and maybe when you stop lying to yourself, you’ll realize that.” Johnny pulled on the jeans he was holding.

“So, I should be like you?”

“You should be happy and right now you’re not,” Johnny responded, bending down to lace up the sneakers he was putting on.

“And you know how to make it all better, huh?”

“You keep coming here like I’m gonna give you all the answers.” Davis got up and pulled the shirt on over his head. “But you don’t want to listen to what I’ve got to say.”

“Because you’re not telling me what I need to hear right now!”

“How about this, then? You’re destroying Van and your precious Starsky and a whole lotta other people and I’m tired of being your pit-stop.”

“Pit stop? You think this is…”

“Save it,” Davis cut him off. “You got what you came here for, so there’s nothing more to say right now.”

“You’ve got me pegged for some cold-hearted SOB, don’t you?”

“No, you’re just confused.” Johnny looked at him one last time. “I just don’t know if I can help you anymore,” he sighed. “I’m going out, and I won’t be back by the time you leave, so safe journey and all that jazz.”

With that, Davis turned and walked out of the bedroom. Hutch could hear him grabbing his keys before leaving the apartment. Hutch stood there, cold and alone and just as lost as ever, wondering where it would all end. He had hurt everyone he loved and there didn’t seem to be any way to change it.

Hutch picked up his clothes and began dressing. If he hurried, he could make the drive back tonight and be there by the time Starsky called him in the morning, none the wiser that Hutch had even left for the weekend. Johnny was right; the one thing he could count on was waiting back in Bay City. It certainly wasn’t waiting for him in San Francisco anymore.

The End

Note from the editor:

This story was first published in Flamingo’s “Timeless 2”. I’d like to thank both Kimberly and Flamingo for their permission to reprint it here.