Tell Me

“Tell me…”

Hutch’s words floated over Starsky’s ear, slipped down his neck, curved over his shoulder, trailed down his belly, and tickled at his cock. Hutch’s body covered his, sinking together into the warm nest of their bed. Starsky closed his eyes and listened to his own body. Listened so he could tell Hutch what he needed to hear. Still needed to hear after all the years between them.

“I can feel you on my face, babe. I can feel your hair all silky on my cheek, smell you in every strand. Your whiskers were scratching at my ear when you whispered…telling me we’ve been together all night–that mornin’ will be here soon. I feel your breath, babe…feel how alive you are just from that.”

Hutch moved his head the slightest bit, and Starsky gasped and moaned quietly into his pillow.

“Your tongue, Hutch, your tongue is tracing my ear, finding that little spot behind it…wrapping around the curls at the back of my head. You’re biting now…biting at my shoulder and the side of my neck.” Another moan. “You’re sucking at me now, babe, leaving your mark so I can see it in the mirror…tellin’ me every time that I’m yours, Hutch. Still yours after twenty years…always yours.”

Hutch found Starsky’s hands and grabbed them, pulling his arms down to his sides. His feet pressed at the outside of Starsky’s ankles, drawing his legs together, and Hutch pressed the tops of his feet to the bottom of Starsky’s, keeping every possible inch of Starsky covered with himself. Wanting to hear more of a tale so familiar, so cherished, but never old. Never old to them.

Starsky sighed as Hutch pressed over the length of his body, concentrating on the warmth of Hutch’s skin, the beating of the heart pressed to his back.

“I feel all of you, Hutch. Your skin is so smooth lyin’ over me. All smooth and warm–feel your chest moving when you breathe.” Hutch moved ever so slightly, his buttocks squeezing together, his hands holding tighter to Starsky’s. “Feel your cock, too, lover, pressing at the bottom of my ass. You’re getting hard, Hutch…pretty soon you’ll be hard enough to take me. Soon, Hutch.”

Hutch whispered into Starsky’s ear again. Calling him names…names that to anyone else would be dirty…maybe filthy, maybe dangerous. Names that went straight to Starsky’s cock. Names that made his anus contract and quiver and want. “Feel me, Hutch? Feel my ass tighten under your body…feel my muscles push my cock into the bed? You’re doing that to me…makin’ my body dance for you.”

Hutch growled at his lover and slid off to his side, pulling Starsky into his arms, curving his body around Starsky’s ass and back. His upper hand moved to lie flat on Starsky’s belly, pressing there, holding Starsky firmly in place.

“Now, Starsk…tell me what you feel now.”

Starsky chuckled softly. “My front is coolin’ off way too fast…the bed is gone, and my cock is pokin’ up in the air wondering where the warm went. My tip is real cool, Hutch, real cool where the air is hitting wet. Your hand is so close, pressing on my gut down there, and my cock wants it…knows how close it is.”

Hutch pinched his lover gently, his own chuckle soft in Starsky’s hair, and moved his hand; gliding up and away from Starsky’s belly, palming over his chest, tugging at body hair.

“Your hand feels so damn good, Hutch. You’re rubbing my hair every which way…your fingers are at my nipples now…ahhhh, Hutch, so good when you do that. Pinch harder, love, pinch…roll. I feel it, Hutch…the way the tips of your fingers are rough and dry…your nails when you scrape them over my skin. Your hand is flat again, babe, flat over my heart. Feel me, Hutch? Feel my life? It’s yours, babe, yours…”

Hutch held himself still. He was close…and knew Starsky was, too. Knew that he could come just from the feel of his lover’s heart beating beneath his palm…that he loved this man so much…that just the touching was enough.

“You’re not moving, Hutch, except for your hand moving with my body…I understand, babe…I know…happens to me, too. Love you so much, Hutch…sometimes it’s hard to tell, babe, hard to tell who’s moving, who’s holding still. You and me, Hutch? You and me are one…one body…one person. That’s how much, Hutch, how much I love you.”

Hutch’s head bowed down, his ‘I love you’ in his kiss to Starsky’s back, his forehead coming to rest between Starsky’s shoulders. His hand shifted lower on Starsky’s belly, leaving his chest behind, exploring and making its way down.

“I feel your head on my back, Hutch, feel the sweat on your forehead mixing in with your hair. You’re breathing hard…feel it all the way down my back. You’re holding your breath now…do you know you do that, babe? When you grab my cock, do you know you hold your breath? Oh, God, Hutch…your fingers are around me, holding on tight, moving my skin back and forth…Hutch!”

Starsky’s cock was released. He wanted to arch his head back, tell Hutch to put his fingers back and pump him. But that’s not what Hutch needed. Hutch needed to hear…Hutch lived to hear. Hear what he did to Starsky when he made love to him. Starsky waited and listened. To what he needed to hear. The sounds that promised and told what was coming. The scrape of a drawer, the near silent sound of a cap being unscrewed, the soft squish of thick fluid being dispensed. The sound Hutch made when he soothed cool gel over his own erection.

“Hutch? Hutch, your fingers are gone now…my cock misses them…but…but, it’s weird, babe, I can still feel them on my flesh. Think you burned that feeling into my soul, Hutch, what it feels like to have those long fingers wrapped around me, making me feel so fuckin’ good, babe. Your hand is on my hip now, holding me steady. Steady so you can move your body…arrange us the way you want us. I feel your hand between us…between your crotch and my ass. Your fingers are cool and slippery, running up and down between my cheeks like they’re searching for something. There! There, Hutch, you found it…I feel you pressing one finger against me…pressing…oh, God, Hutch…your finger is in me. It’s always so good, Hutch. You’re pushing harder, I feel you, babe, feel your finger inside of me, teasing me, making me want more. You’re playing now, shifting your body down and back…I feel pressure…there, Hutch, right there…you’ve found it…you always find it for me…so good…so good.

“Your cock is ready, babe…I feel it poking at the back of my thigh and against my ass. You won’t give it to me yet…those fingers joining the first one in my ass are telling me you want to play some more. You’re stretching me, Hutch, I feel my muscles answering your fingers…feels so good when you move them like that…getting me ready. You’re moving your fingers so fast, babe, in and out, twisting…good…dammit, Hutch…dammit…slow down, babe…please. Can you feel the way my insides are quivering around your fingers? You’re moving so slowly now, loving me so sweetly…I’m ready, Hutch…I’m ready.

“I feel you pulling your fingers out now, your fingers are so long…I miss them…for just these few seconds I feel so empty. Your hand is against the back of my thigh now, pushing my leg up high, making room for you. I love the way you settle in behind me…your whole body is back pressing against mine. I feel your heart again–beating so fast now–mine’s goin’ fast, too. So fast it could be scary…would be, if you weren’t holding me so tight. You’re pulling your hips back now, getting ready to take me…I feel your cock, babe, searchin’ like your finger did…there, Hutch…right there. I want you to push, want you to push hard…I can feel your muscles holding you back. You’re afraid…even after all of the times we’ve done this…you’re afraid you might hurt me. And I’m gettin’ that same feeling I always get when we get here, just before you push inside me. I could sleep, babe…could never go any farther than this…I just feel so safe when you make love to me…want to wake up forever with you pushing at my ass and your arms around me. That’s it, babe, hold me tight, hold me.

“Hutch! Hutch, it’s okay…it’s okay. That was just thunder…just thunder cracking in the sky. I felt you jump…but your cock came right back to me. I feel you. It’s okay…your body knows the noise scared your heart a little…but it was just noise, Hutch, just thunder…Push, babe, let’s drown out the thunder…make our own noise. I feel you, Hutch, feel your cock…that first inch of you just pushed in…you’re holding your breath again. I know, babe, I know what you’re feeling. Slow, Hutch, you’re pushing so slow…I feel you…halfway in…pulling back…a little more and back again…feel your body now…your belly is on my ass…your body feels so soft compared to what’s inside of me…stay still for a minute, Hutch, stay still and let me feel you.”

“Starsk, tell me…”

“I feel your heart in every inch of me, Hutch. Feel its rhythm pounding through my body; radiating from your cock like hot water is in my veins instead of blood. Feel you tellin’ me how much you love me without sayin’ the words out loud. I feel you moving now; sliding back and forth…you’re teasing me, babe! Pulling all the way out, pushing back in…dammit…dammit, Hutch! Fast, Hutch, I feel you movin’ so fast…harder now…you’re pushing into me so hard…I feel your cock getting even bigger, longer…I could count the thrusts now, Hutch, know just how many… There! There, Hutch…you’re filling me, babe, pushing so hard against me, I think your whole body wants in…I’d let all of you in if I could…you know that, don’t you, Hutch? Oh, my Hutch…push, stay in me…your hand is on me…pump, Hutch, let me… I feel you, Hutch, feel your cock move inside me like it’s answering mine when I come…telling it how good it was for you, too.

“You’re holdin’ your breath again, babe, holding your breath while your cock goes soft inside me, holding my cock in your hand, so gentle with my body. Don’t think you’ll ever accept that I’m not gonna break…that your loving won’t hurt me. You only give yourself a few minutes of freedom each time we make love. That’s when I feel you let go of the fear, let go of the past. Just before you come, babe…when our bodies are taking us away and all we feel is our love and how good that love makes our bodies feel–that’s when I feel you flyin’ free, Hutch. When it’s just you and me, makin’ each other come, loving each other so much, showing each other…

“Hutch? Hey, don’t, babe… I feel your face on my neck, love, I know those are tears… Don’t Hutch; don’t go back there. Stay right here with me. Hutch? Hey, Hutch, listen to me, huh? I’m not done, yet…we’re not done… Let me tell you what I feel now, okay, babe? Listen, Hutch…listen to me. I feel my best friend, my lover, my soul holding me in his arms. I feel his cock slippin’ out of my body, all soft now after making love to me. I feel your heart slowin’ down with mine. Know what I want to feel, Hutch? I want to feel your lips smiling against my neck. Can you do that for me? That’s it, that’s it, Hutch, I feel you. Smile for me, laugh. You and me, Hutch? You and me are a miracle.

“Shhh, hush now, the storm is outside…like the bad things in our lives, Hutch, it came on fast and we didn’t expect it, but it’s outside and you and me are in here, in our room, in our bed. Safe. Making love. Hold me, Hutch…sleep, babe, and hold me…that’s it.”

Morning came, the unexpected storm trailing away, clouds thinning out with the rising of the sun. Starsky stood beside the bed, watching Hutch sleep, wearing Hutch’s robe, holding it tight around his body. Surrounding himself with all the scents of being Hutch’s. The scent of the robe, the scent of their lovemaking, the scent of Hutch’s sweat and skin heady in the room. He leaned over his sleeping lover, pressing his lips gently to Hutch’s, smiling around the soft snores. He moved to the windows that framed the mountain view and opened them. The breeze was cool and clean, and he could smell Hutch in that, too. Starsky opened the robe and let it drop to the floor, letting the fresh air play over his body, push gently at his back as he returned to the bed. Hutch’s eyes opened sleepily as Starsky’s weight shifted the mattress. He smiled at Starsky and held out his hand, feeling love wash over his soul when Starsky spoke.

“Hutch…tell me. Tell me what you feel…”