WonTon Leap

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Starsky finds a strange object behind the WonTon Inn that sends our guys on an unplanned journey.

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It all started at the Wonton Inn. Starsky and Hutch had stopped there to pick up some Chinese food they’d ordered ahead.

Because they were driving Hutch’s car, Starsky insisted they park in the alley. He didn’t want to be seen in the car anymore than was necessary. So he was elected to go in and pick up the order. As he tried to juggle all the food and open the car door at the same time, the container of wonton soup fell, spilling its contents onto the ground. After handing the rest of the order to Hutch, Starsky bent down to see if there was anything salvageable. The container had opened and there was no hope for the soup, but he saw something shining under the dumpster. Thinking it might be a coin or something valuable, he pushed the dumpster back so he could retrieve the object. He grabbed it and headed back to the car.

“What the hell have you got now?” Hutch asked him.

Starsky was in the habit of picking up stray gadgets and fixing them or finding ways to use them. The majority of them got put back in the dumpster. Hutch was impatient and wanted to get going.

“Wait, blondie, look at this. It’s got some kind of Chinese writing all around the edges and a big dial in the middle with a smaller dial inside of that. It looks like some kind of clock. I’m going to take it with me.”

“You and your gizmos, you know it’s liable to be something that’ll get us in trouble. All your schemes and hare-brained plans do.”

“I can remember a few of yours going awry.”

“Awry? Who are you and what have you done with my partner? He doesn’t use words like awry.”

“Well, I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m going to learn the real King’s English. Then you can’t make fun of me anymore.”

Hutch was feeling a little sorry by now, as he always did when his partner turned those deep, blue hurt puppy dog eyes on him. He put his arm around him and whispered in his ear.

“You know I’ve got a twisted sense of humor, I love you more than anything and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. It’s just a habit, I guess, an off-beat way of showing you I care.”

“I know you don’t mean it, Hutch, but sometimes I feel pretty inferior to you. You’ve been to college and you have so much more going for you than I do.”

“That doesn’t mean anything in the line of work we’re in, though. You’re one of the best cops around and I’m very proud of you.” He gave his partner a long lingering kiss. “I wish we were home right now. I’d show you just what you mean to me.”

The kiss turned into another and another. Starsky finally broke it off.

“Hutch, if this goes any further, we’re going to be arrested for being wanton behind the Won Ton. Get it? I don’t think we need that right now, do you?”

“And you call me hard-hearted, buddy. What do I tell my cock? His little friend doesn’t want to play with him?”

“Who are you calling little? I can’t recall hearing much complaining about size or technique.”

“Okay, drop it, that kind of talk is going to make it worse. I see you’re not in control of that monster either,” indicating the bulge in Starsky’s too-tight blue jeans. “What is that thing anyway?”

“If you don’t know what it is by now, I haven’t been doing my job too well.”

“Oh, you’ve been doing that so well, I’ve forgotten everyone I’ve ever had sex with before. But I was talking about that thing you fished out from under the dumpster,”

Starsky’s attention shifted to the object he held in his hand. “Well, it’s a…I think it…looks like a…I don’t know, maybe a clock?”

“But the numbers are too long. I don’t pretend to be fluent in Chinese, but those look like years instead of hours. I think we should show it to somebody who knows Chinese. Starsk, quit messing with it, You have no idea what it can do!” Hutch reached out his hand and touched Starsky’s.

Starsky, as usual, was in a world of his own and didn’t even hear what his partner had said. There were indentations on the outer disk and he turned it two turns to the left.

Immediately, they found themselves in a grassy meadow rife with wildflowers. There were hills covered with trees all the way around the clearing. The sun was warm, but not unpleasantly so, like the climate they’d left behind.

Starsky took one look at the index finger extended his way and gulped.

“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

“If you only had a brain, you’d take it out and play with it. Damn, Starsky, what have you done to us now?”

“I’m not too sure, but I think we’re about to find out. There’s a couple men with bows and arrows trained on us at the edge of the woods.”

Hutch automatically put his hands up in a show of surrender and Starsky followed suit. The men came closer.

“Be ye poachers, after the King’s hart?”

Starsky left it up to Hutch to reply. He had no answer, not being after anyone’s heart, let alone a King’s.

“N-n-no, we’re just lost. We found ourselves in this clearing and were trying to get our bearings.”

“Ye sound like gentry, but your accent and dress are different. Methinks ye must be presented to the king. Where is thy charger?”

Starsky, looking puzzled, drew out his wallet and was searching through it for his Visa. Hutch put his hand over Starsky’s and indicated he should put it away.

“Our horse broke loose and ran away. We’ve been traveling several miles on foot.”

“Follow us, the castle be not far.”

As they followed along after the men, Starsky whispered, “Where the hell are we, Hutch. These guys don’t even speak English.”

“English is exactly what they do speak, the King’s English. Somehow your little wonton thingamagig has transported us back to ‘jolly old England’ where for your information, they hang poachers.”

“What exactly is a poacher, anyway?”

“Someone who kills the deer on the King’s land for food. A few of the people here have all the wealth and the rest just barely survive, so often the father will resort to shooting one of the King’s deer in order to feed his family.”

“Sounds a little like Bay City, doesn’t it? All those homeless people on the streets and the Beverly Hills crowd, who make enough in one day to feed dozens of people.”

Hutch smiled at his sensitive partner. Starsky was well known for being a sucker for a sob story.

“Like Bay City, Yep, partner, you got it.”

The little group broke out of the woods and found themselves in front of a massive castle complete with moat. Starsky and Hutch were speechless. There was a little village around the castle, obviously to house the many workers that would be employed there.

“Jeezus, Hutch, this is scarin’ me.”

“I know, but I’m right beside you. I’m afraid, too, but we’ll face this together.”

Everyone around the castle was staring at them, wondering where the strangers had come from. They knew no one who wore that kind of clothing.

They were led across the drawbridge and entered the vast stone edifice. The entryway was incredible with its marble floors and beautiful tapestries on the walls. That was nothing compared to the great hall, which Starsky commented was at least the size of a football field. The room had huge fireplaces, not in use, as it was summer here. There were two thrones on a slightly elevated platform, obviously for the king and queen, who weren’t anywhere in sight. The men ordered the pair of detectives to sit on a crude bench against the far wall and wait. That irritated Starsky, but his partner silenced him with a firm tug on his belt buckle that brought his ass down to meet the bench in a hurry.

“Ouch, what did you do that for?”

“In case it’s escaped your attention, we could be in a lot of trouble here. The less you give in to your nasty temper, the better.”

“My nasty temper? You’ve been known to pitch a fit a time or two yourself.”

“Just shut up, Starsky. We wouldn’t even be here if you hadn’t had to tinker with that ‘thing.’ Did it ever enter your mind that somebody threw it there in order to get rid of it? But, no, you just float through life, doing your own thing without any thought of the consequences. One of these days, I’m going to teach you a thing or two.”

“Oh, really? How are you going to do that? Whip me? Make me sit in the corner? I think you’re a little out of your league if you think you can pull that off.”

“Not even close to what I’d have in mind, babe, but cool your jets, now, or they may decide to use us for macramé to hang flower pots on.”

At that moment, a young man came into the room and blew on his bugle, indicating that the king and queen were entering the hall.

The royal couple was young, probably in their mid-twenties. The king had fair hair and was dressed in purple velvet, with a crown on his head. He had a peeved look on his face. Starsky leaned over and whispered, “I’d look pissed if I had to carry that thing around on my head, too.”

“Can you keep your mouth shut for a few minutes, at least,” Hutch whispered back.

Starsky, in retaliation, reached over and gave Hutch a hard pinch in the fleshy part of his behind, which caused him to jump and let out a bellow, calling attention to the pair.

Hutch gave his partner the patented ‘I’d beat the shit out of you, if I didn’t love you so much’ look.

The queen was just being seated, several beautiful girls around her, evidently ladies-in-waiting. Starsky, who’d never gotten over his appreciation of womankind, was awestruck by the loveliness displayed. The queen herself was the most beautiful, her dark hair pinned up and a diamond tiara on her head. Starsky sized up every inch of her fabulous figure and gorgeous face.

Hutch, knowing exactly what was going on in his mind, poked him in the ribs, causing a guilty look to appear on the dark-haired man’s face. Hutch knew his partner well enough to believe that he would be true to him, but sometimes it bothered him that the man was admiring women.

The two men who’d brought them in were back and indicated that they were to approach the throne. The two natives of the land bowed on one knee before the king. Starsky and Hutch decided not to follow suit, but lowered their heads in respect for this man’s authority. It seemed to be enough and they were told to raise their heads so the king could look into their eyes. The men who had brought them there explained that they had found them wandering in the meadow and that their horse had run away.

The king addressed his questions to Hutch and totally ignored Starsky. “And where were you and your servant bound for?”

Total surprise was written on each of the detectives’ faces.

“Servant? Oh, yes, m-my servant. Uh, we were headed here to visit you, Your Majesty. I wanted to meet the Lord of the Land. We come from far away and wanted to offer our obeisance.”

Starsky was staring at him as if he’d sprouted horns, and felt he needed to put his two cents worth into the conversation.

“Your Honor?”

“Shut up, Starsky, he’s not a judge.”

“I’m not really his servant…”

“Ah, your slave, then. Please admonish your slave. He is not to speak to me. If he speaks again, you must have him flogged.”

Starsky started to retort, but Hutch had hold of his arm in such a tight grip, he kept his mouth shut.

The king went on, “And what might you be named, sir?”

Hutch chased all over his brain before coming up with, “Sir Kenneth of Hutchinson, Your Majesty.”

“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you wish. There are many guest chambers here in the castle.” He indicated to one of the serving girls that they should show them to their room and told Hutch that the evening meal would be served at sundown.

The room was sparse, but had a lovely big bed with fur and velvet coverings. There was a bowl and pitcher for washing up and a chair and table to be used as a desk. There was, of course. no glass in the long narrow windows, so there were quite a few bugs flying around the room. The girl left them, saying that new clothing would be brought for them both.

“Okay, Hutch, what’s the deal? Why were you holding onto my arm so tight you cut off my circulation?”

“I was afraid that big mouth of yours was going to get us in more trouble. Evidently your little ‘toy’ is some kind of time machine and it drop kicked us back to England in the Middle Ages. This is, as usual, your fault, but you’re going to pay for it this time. You did catch the word slave, didn’t you? They believe I’m your master and you’re my slave. You, love, have to do anything I tell you to. Starting now, you have to address me as Master.”

“Oh, come on, Hutch, you don’t really expect me to call you that. Can’t you just tell them I’m your friend?”

“The rich gentry never went anywhere without their servants, so one of us had to be the master. I guess they picked me because my clothes are more appropriate looking. Look at you, you have your torn jeans on and that grubby shirt. That’s your answer. If you had dressed better, you might be the master and I might be the slave. Welcome to the Middle Ages, buddy. You’re lucky I studied their culture in college, so hopefully, we won’t make any mistakes.”

“Okay, Sir Snots-a-lot, but you’d better keep this master-slave thing to a bare minimum, or I’m going to have a hemorrhage right in front of your eyes. Right now, I need to find a john. I suppose your books told you exactly where there is one, right?”

Hutch pulled an enamel hand decorated pot out of the nightstand.

Starsky groaned, “Don’t tell me, no running water?”

“There is running water, in the moat, and that’s what the servants use.”

“What, in front of God and everybody, you expect me to pee in the moat? What if I have to shit?”

“That’s what the woods are for, babe, just be careful of the plants you wipe with. There’s a lot of poison ivy.”

“You’ll go with me, won’t you, Hutch? You know how I hate the woods. Just take me with you when you go. I’ll try to hold it.”

“Hate like hell to burst your bubble, pal, but this is my john.” Hutch held out the pot. “And after I use it, you get to dump it and clean it out for me. It’s called a chamber pot.”

Starsky’s face turned a deep dark shade of red like a stick of dynamite about to explode. “You’re telling me I have to go outside like a dog to relieve myself while you sit here, like some little prince? You want to let me in on some of my other duties, Sir Kenneth of Hutchinson?”

“You don’t have to call me by my full title, just Master will do.”

“Okay, that’s it, Master…” Starsky’s voice dwindled way down as he finished the word, “…bator!”

“Now, now, that kind of insolence could get you flogged. All I’d have to do is say the word.”

“Is that some kind of whipping post punishment?”

“I’d say so.”

“And you’d do that to me?”

“Well, I’d have to. Just think of this as being under cover, Starsk. You have to play along…”

“So what all do I have to do, Master?”

“You have to help me get dressed and undressed.”

“Now, that I could get into. I already undress you half the time, anyway.”

“You have to serve me at my table and you get all the scraps that I leave behind. If I clean my plate, you don’t eat. You just go with me and do everything for me, like open doors, keep the room clean…”

“You’re really getting into this, aren’t you?”

“I get a little fed up with you impulsively jumping into things and I usually end up paying the consequences right along with you. This time the shoe is on the other foot and I’m going to turn it into an object lesson.”

“Oh, get over yourself, Hutchinson! If you think I’m going to just passively do anything you want me to, you’ve been eating too many alfalfa sprouts. Don’t push me too far. I love you, but I’m not going to let you walk all over me.”

“You’re going to have to or you’ll be flogged or thrown in the dungeon or some equally nasty punishment. So behave yourself!”

“At least we have a nice comfortable bed to sleep on,” Starsky hoped keeping a positive attitude would help hold down the rapidly growing displeasure that was sitting right on top of his stomach, tranquilly tying that organ into big hard knots.

“Wrong again, old buddy.”

“What, I can’t even sleep with you?”

“If someone came in and saw us in bed together, it could be bad for us. Your place is on that straw pallet at the foot of my bed.”

“You get a goose down mattress and pillows and I get a straw pallet. Now that just about does it. I want out of here. I’m going to turn this time machine,” he pulled it out of his pocket, “back to where we belong.”

“Don’t mess with it, Starsk, we could end up in bigger trouble. Or we could even end up in different times.”

Starsky handed the time machine to Hutch. “Here, you keep it. Use it if you think you need to.”

There was a knock on the door and Hutch called out, “come in.”

A lovely servant girl entered, bowed to Hutch and gave Starsky a wink, licking her lips as she laid fresh clothes on the bed. Bowing again to Hutch, she left, Starsky’s jaw dropped and remained that way until Hutch came over and closed it with a plop.

“Don’t even think about it. You’re not going to get back at me that way, either.”

“Why, I would never have thought of it,” Starsky muttered, eyes as innocent as a nuns.

“Right, that’s all you ever do think about, maybe that’s why you do such impulsive things, you’re thinking about sex too much. I wonder how you’re going to like abstinence for awhile.”

Hutch turned toward the bed, missing the one-finger salute his partner gave him.

“I found my clothes, those must be yours.” Hutch proceeded to undress.

“Hey, I thought I was supposed to do that for you.”

“At this point, I think it would be better if I dress myself. Hurry up, it’s about time for the evening meal.”

“Oh, yeah, I can’t wait to see if you spare me any leftovers.”

“Aw, come on, Starsk, do you really think I’d let you starve?”

“Right now I’m not sure. I’m beginning to wonder if you’re the same Hutch who’s been my partner, my friend and my lover all these years.”

Hutch started pulling on the tights provided. Starsky just stared at him, unable to believe his eyes. Next came the tunic, which was embroidered with silver and gold threads. The shoes were a little small, but he gamely put them on.

Unable to put it off any longer, Starsky found a similar pair of tights, only in a muddy brown color. A matching tunic was provided. He completed his ensemble with his Adidas, which he refused to part with.

“Cripes, Hutch, you look like one of Santa’s elves in those shoes. I like the tights on you. You’ve got great legs. You know Joe Namath wore something like this in an advertisement.”

He was not as happy with his attire. The tights fit him fine and accented every inch of his legs and his ass, which Hutch had spent years admiring, before they finally got to the place where they admitted that they were in love with each other- When he came to put on his tunic, however, he found that it was too short, showing just about everything he thought should be covered up.

“C’mon, Hutch, you aren’t gonna make me go out looking like this, are you? You can see everything I-”

“You look so hot… maybe we can find a closet or something, because I can’t stand seeing this much of you wriggling around in front of me all night.”

“Why does your tunic cover it all up and mine leaves nothing to be desired, I ask you?”

“Because it’s a crime in the Middle Ages or any ages to cover something that gorgeous. When we get home, I’m buying you some of these.”

One of the servant girls knocked and called out that it was time to eat.

Hutch had to drag his partner by the hand to get him out of the room. Once in the hall, he tried to affect a nonchalant attitude, but Starsky doing his usual swagger in tights was just too much for Hutch to stand.

“You’re always supposed to follow me,” he said, taking his partner by the arm and pushing him to a spot behind him.

Starsky was wise to his weakness and taunted him. “What’s the matter, can’t stand the view if you’re not allowed to touch it? Abstinence was your idea, remember?”

“Silence is my idea, too, so you’d better zip your lip.”

When they got to the great hall, there was much to see. The tables were laden with food of all kinds. There were serving men and women rushing back and forth to fetch whatever their masters wanted. Since Starsky was supposedly a slave, one class down from a servant, he was considered the lowest of the low. That didn’t stop the serving wenches and even some noblemen from pinching and pawing him all night. All this attention was giving him an unwanted erection, which, of course, only made things worse.

At one point in the evening, he asked Hutch, “What’s wrong with these people? Haven’t they ever seen a cock before?”

“You do have a beautiful big cock, Starsk,” wishing with all his heart that he hadn’t put the ban on sex. “Who knows, maybe it’s the biggest one they’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah right, now you’re talking nice to me. All you have to do is sit there and relax. Do you have any idea how these things ride up the crack of your ass when you have to rush around and everybody is pinching and patting and prodding, then you start to sweat. Do I have to draw you a picture?”

“No, I get it, or rather everybody else but me is getting it. Damn, you look sexy!”

“Oh, well, I’m untouchable, you know. Are you about done eating, ’cause I need my Wheaties if I’m going to live through this.”

“Sure, go ahead. I’m done.”

“Thanks a lot. You did at least leave me something, even if it is only bread and…what the hell is this stuff?’

“They tell me the deer are becoming scarce in these parts, so they’re augmenting their diets with squirrel.”

Starsky put down the morsel of meat he’d been about to bite into and ate the bread, washing it down with water. Mead seemed to be the drink of the evening and everyone was getting pretty sloshed. The servants couldn’t indulge, but even Hutch was drinking his fair share. Starsky figured if he drank much more, he’d probably have to fling him over his shoulder and carry him off to bed.

A few days passed and Hutch was getting impatient. He could see no way to get back to their own time, other than trying to retrace their steps with the time machine.

That day, as Starsky was coming back from a visit to the woods, grumbling because he’d stepped in a pile of one of his fellow servants renderings, he looked up and saw the queen. She was alone, which was unusual, as she always traveled with her ladies-in-waiting. He was ordered back into the woods, where she proceeded to familiarize herself with all his bodily parts. Getting the response she wanted, she smiled and invited him to do the same to her, only to take it one step further.

“Um, Your Highness, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I could get in big trouble doing something like that.”

She persisted, finally ordering him to do it. Starsky didn’t know what to do, so he turned and ran.

When he got back into the room with one shoe on and the other one nowhere in sight, Hutch gathered him up in his arms, seeing how shaken he was. He stammered out the story and by the time he was done, there was a loud pounding on the door. Hutch opened the door and four of the king’s men-at-arms grabbed Starsky and dragged him out of the room. Hutch, of course, followed after them, after gathering all their stuff up. He was comforted by the fact that their guns had never been taken away from them and if he had to, he’d do anything to save his partner.

“Hey, this is my slave. If he’s done something wrong, I’ll take care of it. It’s not your place to punish him.”

One of the men yelled, “He’s disgraced the royal family. The queen asked him to fetch a branch of flowers for her in the woods and he refused. It’s now the King’s place to punish him for it.”

Starsky was dragged out to the post they used to flog the slaves and his tunic was ripped from his body. His hands were tied to the ring. A crowd started to gather, keeping Hutch from reaching him. One of the men-at-arms produced a cat o nine tails and had actually given Starsky three bloody stripes down his back before Hutch got his gun out and fought his way through the crowd. He fired three shots into the air. All action ceased.

Hutch strode forward and made sure everyone in the crowd could hear him. “This is a gun. It’s used to kill people by sending a little piece of metal flying into their body fast enough to come out the other side.”

He demonstrated by shooting the whip out of the man’s hands. He definitely had everybody’s attention. Starsky was released and Hutch demanded the best horse they had. A beautiful white horse was brought to him and he got on and they handed Starsky up to him. He didn’t want his partner in back of him because he was half dazed with shock and pain and Hutch was afraid he might lose consciousness and fall off. He knew it would be far worse to have Starsky in front leaning his back against him, so Hutch put him in front of him facing him, so he could cradle him in his arms.

“Don’t bother to follow us or you’ll lose many men. This gun can shoot a lot of bullets!”

No one even moved. They were convinced that the couple were demons and not to be dealt with.

As they galloped away, Hutch was alarmed to feel Starsky shaking. He knew he couldn’t stop there, so he kissed the head which was resting just under his chin. Once they got far enough away that he was sure no one was following, he stopped the horse and murmured endearments to his lover.

“I’m sorry, Starsk, I never meant for you to get hurt. This is all my fault. Starsk?”

As he tipped the other man’s chin up so their eyes met, he was astonished to see that Starsky was laughing.

“What in hell can you find amusing about this whole situation?”

“It’s Marcus, Hutch, he said the white knight wouldn’t rescue me, and you just did.”

Hutch didn’t find that too funny, in fact, he wondered if Starsky’s sanity was impaired.

“What are we going to do now, Hutch? I don’t like the hospitality around here.”

Hutch handed him the round disk. “Okay, buddy, do your thing, just the opposite of what you did before.”

“All right, two marks to the left, no, it was the right. Oh, hell, I can’t remember. It can’t be any worse than this, can it?”

He turned the dial.

Hutch had been trying to hold Starsky to cushion the landing, but it turned out that the dark-haired member of the team landed on his back and Hutch made a soft landing on his stomach.

It was soft because they landed in sand, a lot of it, with the azure blue ocean in front of them.. Hutch looked behind him and saw nothing but palm trees and underbrush. He remembered Starsky’s injuries and rolled him over, accompanied by the man’s loud moan. Knowing what he had to do, but dreading it, Hutch pulled Starsky’s head into his lap.

“I’m so sorry babe, I was mad at you for getting us into this. I never meant for you to be hurt, though.”

Starsky tried to grin, but his back was burning from the three vicious stripes he’d been given. “S’okay, Hutch.”

“Listen to me now. We’re going to have to get you into the water so we can wash all the sand out of those open wounds. The salt’s going to burn, I’m telling you now, but it has to be done and quickly.”

This time Starsky managed a weak smile. “I know you’re only doing it for my own good. Lead on, McDuff.”

“Shakespeare, too? You’re on a roll, babe.”

Hutch got Starsky up with some difficulty and walked him to the edge of the foamy surf. It didn’t take much to get him to sit down, but the moment Hutch started splashing the water unto his back, he moaned in distress.

Hutch sat down beside him, half in and half out of the brine. “I wish I could take all the pain away from you. It was me that got you into this predicament. I love you so much, more than I can ever say. Don’t ever stop loving me, okay?”

This time Starsky’s eyes lit up and his lop-sided grin returned. “As if I ever could. You’re the glue that holds us together. I’m the one who’s always screwing up.”

“Don’t you dare say that, Starsk. I do my share, too. But you’re the strong one. You go through life, taking whatever it gives you. Then you use those experiences to turn yourself from dross into gold.”

“What the hell is dross?”

“It’s basically junk metal, discarded because it seems to have no worth. You, lover, have great worth because you’ve come through all these bad experiences a better man.”

“Hutch, I don’t know how to tell you, but we’re headed for a soapy scene here, if you don’t stop.”

“Okay, I give. Is your back still burning?”

“Yeah, but I can take it.”

“I wish I had some kind of antibiotic. I’m sure they never washed that damn whip in between recipients.”

“What do you think we should do now, Hutch? Try another jump and see where it gets us. I’m not too crazy about a coconut diet.”

“We better look around a little more. For all we know, this could be Hawaii and the Hilton is on the other side of the island.”

“When did you start to develop such optimism?”

“When we started this world tour we’re on. I just don’t want to admit we may never get home.”

“Hey, at least we’re here together. I don’t care if we have to eat buffalo chips and live in a tree, as long as we’re both here.”

“Then come on, Robinson Crusoe, let’s get you off the beach and find some shade. A sunburn on top of those cuts is not going to be too pleasant.”

Starsky winced from the pain as he got up. Hutch gathered up some palm branches and made him a bed to lie on while he closely examined the dark-haired detective’s back.

“That guy had definitely done this job before. He cut up your back so quickly and with such expertise. A couple of these wounds cut close to the bone where they wrapped around your ribs.”

“Tell me about it. I hurt all over. Why didn’t we think to bring aspirin on this trip?”

“It’s not something I was exactly prepared for, Gordo. From now on I’ll carry a suitcase wherever I go. You just stay there and rest while I go look around a little.”

“Hutch!”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Hutch came back and sat down, stroking Starsky’s dark curls. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be all right. Just try to go to sleep. And don’t roll over on your back. Maybe I can find something we can use to take the sting out of it.”

“I don’t think they have any drug stores around here, Hutch.”

“Of course not, but I know a little bit about medicinal plants from a study I did in med school. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Don’t get lost.”

Hutch got down beside him and planted a kiss on his lips. He cupped Starsky’s cheek with his hand and ran his thumb over the full lower lip. “It’d take an army to keep me away from you, lover.”

“I guess abstinence is still the word of the day, huh?”

“At least until that back heals up. Sorry, partner, being this close to you and wanting you so much is harder than hell on me, too.”

“Hurry up so you can get back, then, blondie!”

Hutch headed off down the beach, looking back every so often to see if Starsky was all right, Satisfied that he was okay, he finally lost sight of his friend.

The blond searched diligently for some kind of relief for his partner. Going all the way around the island, he found it to be a fairly small one and unless there was anyone living back in the heavy underbrush, it was uninhabited. He did come up with some plants that he thought would help Starsky’s wounds and he found some lunch. Coconuts, like Starsky had said, but food and drink to keep them for awhile, until maybe they could find out a way to control that damned time machine.

As he trudged back to where he’d left Starsky, he was horrified to see that his partner was gone. There were the footprints of several people and mixed in among them was Starsky’s bare left foot and Adidas-shod right foot. They’d never taken off that other shoe. Now Hutch thought it might come in handy, if he could just follow the trail to Starsky. It led inland, into the deep brush and was difficult, but not impossible to track. After while, it became obvious that Starsky was being dragged, which scared him a lot.

Hot, miserable and mosquito-bitten, Hutch came upon a clearing. Here was a small village of what looked like cannibals or headhunters. He was willing to bet that Starsky was in one of the mud shelters that they called home. But which one? He certainly didn’t want to stumble into a hut where the family was just sitting down to dinner and find himself the dessert. He had the time machine in his pocket, so he knew once he got hold of Starsky, they could make their escape. He also had the guns and some ammunition, though not as much as he’d like to have.

His question about Starsky was answered when he saw a group of natives come out of one of the huts. He couldn’t think of any other reason for all of them to be crowded in there, so he pulled his gun and snuck behind the shelters until he came to that particular building. It was larger than the rest and set aside from the others, so he figured it was possible a council hall or the head honchos home. He knocked on the back wall lightly to see if he got any response.

“Hutch, is that you?”

“Yeah, are you okay?”

“Relatively.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I think they’ve never seen white meat before and are planning on inviting me to dinner as the main course.”

“Don’t worry, babe, I’ll get you out of this. I’ve got the guns. Have they hurt you?”

“Just from dragging me here and then they’ve got my hands tied behind my back and it doesn’t feel very good because of the welts. Hutch, you gotta get me out of here. I don’t want to end up as a little head dangling from somebody’s rear view mirror or something.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. I don’t really think they have any cars on the island, they don’t even have roads.”

“Hutch, so help me, I’ll punch your lights out when we get out of this!”

“Okay, okay, just hang in there a little longer and I’ll see what I can do. Why do I always have to be the white knight, anyway? Next time, it’s your turn.”

Starsky stubbornly refused to answer.

Figuring that the big bonfire prepared on the outskirts of the village would be the center of most of the night’s activities, he went back into the woods and emptied the clip out of one of the guns. Then he used his pocket knife to take the bullets apart and emptied the contents into a pile in his handkerchief. He waited until there was no one near and sprinkled the gunpowder over the logs. Then he retreated back to the hut where Starsky was.

“You okay, buddy?”

“No, I gotta piss!”

“Jeezus, Starsk, you must have a bladder the size of a radish. You’re just going to either have to hold it or let it go. The fireworks aren’t going to start until it gets dark.”

“Just because you have a twelve-hour bladder doesn’t means everyone has. My body was growing cock while yours was working on your bladder. Now which would you rather have, huh?”

“Very funny, Starsk.”

Hutch peeked around the corner of the hut and saw the natives arranging a large kettle over the fire.

“Hutch, what’s going on?”

“Uh, you know the times I’ve told you that you looked good enough to eat? These guys think so, too. They’re getting ready to make an enchilada out of you.”

“Why aren’t you doing anything about getting us out of here?”

“I think we have to be touching each other when we leap, and I can’t very well sashay around the corner and untie you, then lead you away, can I? I’ve been studying this gizmo for awhile and I found a third dial that probably pops up after you’ve turned the second one. I think we’ve been doing things wrong. We’ve been turning only the big dial. I think we need to start with the middle-sized one, then progress to the small, then the big one.”

“And why is that?”

“Well, it’s my opinion that this time machine controls not only years, but more specific times and also places.”

“Can’t we take it back to K-Mart and get our money back? I’m kinda sick of being the whipping boy.”

“Maybe you’ll be my master on the next leap out of here?”

“Wonder why that doesn’t make me feel better? Oh, I know. It’s because I’m the one wrapped so tight I could be a polish sausage, damn it!”

“Oh, oh, here comes that legendary temper of yours. You better be nice to me or I’ll help clean up the leftovers.”

“You know, buddy, I’m beginning to think you’re really an asshole at heart. One of these days you’re going to be the one in trouble and wanting my help.”

“Just hang in there, Starsk…Sooner or later, we’re sure to hit on the combination that will send us home.”

There were loud explosions from the direction of the bonfire. Soon the natives were running as fast as they could into the woods to hide.

Hutch whipped around the hut and cut Starsky loose. He grabbed the time machine out of his pocket and turned all three dials in a random selection.

Hutch was prepared for a hard landing and was surprised to find himself in sand again. He looked over at Starsky and saw that he was okay, but that he looked shocked. Hutch turned around and the shock waves hit him, too. In the forefront, he saw a wide river, the water green and uninviting. There was some nasty-looking flotsam, so he assumed the inhabitants must get their drinking water from wells and cisterns. Beyond the river, he saw a large city. Beyond that was what had shocked both men.

Beautiful, golden in the sun were the great pyramids of Egypt. Behind the two detectives was nothing but sand and huts, farmers, probably, who were employed to keep the crops in good condition.

There was nothing they could do but go across to the city to get fresh clothing. They were both just wearing tights, left over from their first time leap. They needed clothing and food, but he had no idea how to get any. They certainly wouldn’t accept what either of them had in their wallets. Dollar bills were worthless and credit cards, too. He knew they at least had doctors in this age, although relatively unskilled, they might have some of what it would take to help his partner. They’d only been on the island a short time and Starsky’s back was already getting red and puffy, so Hutch feared that it was infected.

Starsky interrupted his thinking. “Damn, I never thought I’d see something like this. How do we get across, Hutch? I don’t see any bridges.”

Hutch looked downriver and saw a barge-like boat making its way to the other side of the Nile. “I think that’s our ride now.”

They both started toward the boat, but were soon stopped by one of the farmers, who was suspicious, presumably because of their manner of clothing. He stuck a primitive-looking pitchfork in their direction and began babbling in a language Hutch couldn’t understand. Starsky picked it up, though, and started a conversation that had Hutch’s head bobbing back and forth as if he were watching a tennis match. Finally the conversation was over and the farmer retreated.

Starsky sat down on the sand, shaking his head.

Hutch slumped down beside him and put his arm around him, taking care not to hurt him. “Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?”

“I just can’t seem to come out ahead, Hutch. This is ancient Egypt and my ancestors are slaves here. See those pyramids? They’re building them for the Pharaohs to be buried in. Here, I’m a slave again.”

“Do you think we should leap right now? It might avoid some problems.”

“I’d say yes if it wasn’t for my back, but the infection’s getting worse and we can’t do anything about it without finding a doctor. Next time we could end up in the Ice Age, for all we know. Let’s go over and see if we can find a doctor. Then we’ll vamoose, I promise you.”

“Okay, it’s your call, babe. You know I’m sticking with you no matter what. I love you, Starsk, and always will.”

Starsky turned and entangled his hands in his partner’s hair and pulled Hutch gently to him until their foreheads were touching and their eyes met. “And I’ll love you just as much, baby-blue, until the end of time. Now let’s go find us a doctor and then we can split.”

They walked down to the barge, which was just pulling in on their side of the Nile. It turned out to be a ferry. Of course everything they had was of no value. Then Hutch looked at Starsky’s watch.

Starsky noticed and backed off. “Come on, Hutch, you know I love this watch almost as much as I love my car.”

“And I come in third? Is there anything else you care about more than me?”

“Gimmee a break here. You know I’m talking about inanimate objects.”

“Oh, really. Your car runs, most of the time. The hands on your watch move.”

“Okay, you made your point. Take the damn thing!”

“Thank you.” Hutch gave his lover a peck on the cheek to show him all was well and that he wasn’t really offended.

“Why, you manipulative son of…”

“Watch it, that’ll be my mother you’re about to slander. I’d think before I said it.” Hutch stuck his index finger in Starsky’s face and he stopped immediately.

How the hell does he do that? he thought to himself.

He caught up to Hutch, who was trying to argue with the owner of the boat.

This man wasn’t a Hebrew, so neither of them could understand what he was saying, but finally he took the watch, after assuring himself that the metal was valuable.

The two detectives climbed on board for a memorable trip across the Nile.

They found the city dirty, heavily-populated and noisy. Street peddlers were everywhere calling out to anyone who could hear them to buy their goods.

Starsky found some Hebrews who were employed as slaves within the palace and they were able to direct him to a physician.

As they picked their way through the filthy city, they saw six slaves bearing a covered settee. There were gold ornaments and the poles appeared to be gold or gold plated. It was draped in beautiful tapestries and had a golden sun on the top. As they watched, the curtains parted and a man, obviously wealthy, stared at them. He shouted to his bearers and they stopped immediately. They brought him steps so he was able to climb down. He studied them both, concentrating his attention on Hutch. He spoke, but in no language they could understand. He called one of his bearers over to him and spoke to him.

The man asked in Hebrew where they had come from. Starsky answered in his stilted form of the language that they were lost and needed to get to a physician. He showed them the stripes across his back.

Immediately, he was seized by the man’s bearers. When he tried to explain that he was not a slave, it was useless, for all Hebrews were slaves, either in the fields, the constructions sites of the pyramids or in the palace.

Hutch tried to fight for him, but he was seized too. They were both forced to walk ahead, each of them held by one of the owner’s slaves. There were four left to carry the burden, but they bore it easily and soon they were in front of a beautiful building they concluded must be the palace. They were forced inside, where they lost sight of the man who had brought them there.

“Hutch, why doesn’t anybody listen to us? Do we really look that different? All these people have a head, body, two arms, and two legs. What the hell makes us stand out in a crowd? Besides our clothes, that is.”

“There were a lot of orgies and riotous parties, everyone trying to outdo the other. I’m afraid the difference in our appearance is obvious, me with my pale skin, light hair and light blue eyes. I’d go on the auction block in a flash. You’re lighter skinned than others of your race and the curly hair and deep blue eyes that are so charming to me will also appeal to some hot Egyptian woman who has too much time on her hands and a husband in someone else’s bed. Let’s hope this man keeps us and we don’t have to be sold, ’cause when we need to go, it’s got to be together.”

“I’ll do the best I can to make myself useful.”

“When or if we ever get home, I’m going to handcuff us together for the rest of our lives.”

“Um, Hutch, that’d be kind of hard to take a leak or shit, for that matter.”

“There it is again. I feel like we’ve had this conversation before. Did your mom have trouble toilet training you or something?”

“It’s like a security blanket. A man’s gotta know where the closest john is, whether he’s going to get something to eat, how much beer he has, and when he can get laid. Call those the baser needs, but they’re important to me. A man’s gotta know these things!”

Starsky slipped into silence and Hutch could tell he was sulking.

“Hey, it’s okay. You know I’d settle for just the last one on that list.”

Two burly palace guards grabbed them and escorted them to a chamber where slave women took over and bathed them and brought them some suitable, if not adequate clothing.

“Hutch, didn’t they believe in hiding anything?”

“Not if you’re a slave. Sometimes they sold their victims out in the middle of town nude and they allowed anyone to touch their genitals and check everything out before they made a bid on them.”

“You make it sound like test-driving a car.”

“I guess it was kinda like that.”

Starsky looked down at himself, dressed in a kind of apron-like top that covered most of him in white. There were a few strategic areas not covered, but it could have been worse. The bottom half was also white and looked to him like the pleated skirt that his mom wore to Tabernacle most of the time. Add to that a white headdress, kind of like a babushka with a gold sun on it. Added to that were sandals that snaked all the way up to his knees and that was his complete wardrobe. Hutch was garbed in the same fashion.

“Hutch,” he whispered. “Where’s the underwear? I didn’t get any shorts.”

Hutch smiled at the frantic look on his partner’s face. “I don’t think it was customary to wear any, Starsk.”

“I’d feel worse than naked if I had to stand in front of people like this. Let’s cut out right now, Hutch, please.”

“As soon as I can get some of that salve those women put on your back, we’ll go, babe. We really need to put together a bag so we have some of the things we might need on our next leap.”

“Maybe the next leap will be home, Hutch.”

“And maybe it won’t. We’ve got to try to be prepared for anything.”

The two palace guards were back and indicating they were to come with them. Starsky and Hutch reluctantly followed, sensing that nothing good was going to happen to them.

They were taken to a huge room, which tantalized the eye with all its marble, drapes and gold artifacts of all kinds. There was a throne and the man sitting there was the man they’d encountered in the street. Now, though, he wore a crown and held the two rods that indicated he was the total dictator of the land. Hutch remembered from his history that this was one of the Ramses, whose reign had kept the Hebrews oppressed for many years.

The ruler spoke. It was a surprise to them that he spoke in Hebrew, but Hutch figured he’d have been brought up learning many of the languages he might have to use. “You are now my slaves. You will do whatever I ask of you. You are both to be held in the palace as entertainment for the many occasions we have here. You are to do the bidding of any guest of those functions, or you’ll be dealt with severely. Do you understand me?”

Starsky did and started to boil over, but Hutch touched his arm and he realized that to object now would possibly separate him from his lover and he’d never see him again, so he held his anger in check, bowing his head in response. Hutch did the same.

They were escorted from the throne room and taken to what could only be called a harem for the male slaves. It was comfortable and quite nice, with cushions everywhere to sit on and fruit in covered bowls. The sleeping mats had metal headrests, which Starsky stowed away after trying it the first night. Hutch was not fond of his, either.

“How the hell can somebody sleep with their head in that iron vise? They gotta be out of their minds. I’d give my right nut to have a nice soft pillow.”

“Don’t mention that, they do have eunuchs here too, you know?”

Starsky turned pale. But before he could think any further about it, Hutch took pity on him, asking exactly what the Pharaoh had said.

“Sounds like we’re going to be the geisha girls for the stag parties, lover.”

“Well, it could have been much worse, a lot of people got buried alive in the building of those pyramids. If they didn’t get the flesh cut off their backs first and die of infection. There were so many Hebrews, none of them were indispensable.”

They spent their days in virtual luxury, Hutch trying to get as many essentials together as he could. He confiscated a small jar of the salve they used on Starsky’s back, which seemed to heal it almost overnight. They were about ready to leap when the palace guards came in and gathered all the male slaves together. Evidently this was going to be an important party. Hutch cringed; he knew that they sometimes lasted for days, the unfortunate slave having to be available for the whole period of time.

They were stripped of their clothing and given a garment which was not much more than the g-string that a stripper ended up wearing. Having collars put around their necks was humiliating enough, but they also had leashes on them so the participants in the orgy could keep track of their slaves.

The two men tried to stay close to each other, but were too far apart to touch. Hutch had torn the lining of his abbreviated costume and hidden the time machine there, but it remained to be seen how long he would be allowed to keep the garment on.

The entertainment was in full swing by the time they got there, dancing girls swaying with the music produced by flutes, harps and tambourines. Under ordinary circumstances, Starsky would have found it extremely erotic, but he was scared out of his wits. It really surpassed anything he’d ever associated with the word orgy, his idea being the college fraternity parties that got out of hand sometimes.

Most of the attention was on Hutch. His golden hair and ice blue eyes were a real contrast among the dark-skinned Egyptians.

Pharaoh offered him to his most honored guest and Starsky went to the next one. Evidently, these were men not interested in women, as they were practically salivating over the two time travelers. They were on opposite sides of the pharaoh and their eyes met, melting with sympathy for one another. Love so deep it could almost be seen sparked across the room and they both stood straight, ready to accept whatever was to be done to them.

The party proceeded and went from light caresses and exploration to further advances. Hutch looked over at one time and saw the man who was Starsky’s owner for the evening, kissing him, and his anger exploded. He tried to hold it down, but he saw Starsky try to resist where the man’s hands were headed and saw the Egyptian twist the collar until Starsky’s face started to turn from red to blue, he knew something had to be done.

Fortunately the man that held his leash was busy eating at the time, so he jumped up and tried to rescue his partner. One of the palace guards was there before he was and yanked him by the collar to face the Pharaoh.

Starsky was also pulled to his feet and they both were thrown down to their knees in front of the ruler. Still being too far apart to touch, the Pharaoh gave orders to the guards and they both were dragged away.

They were thrown into separate cells beneath the palace, each wondering what their punishment would be. Starsky had been in the process of being strangled and hadn’t been able to hear what the Pharaoh had ordered. So they had to wait.

“Starsk, are you all right?”

“I think so, my throat hurts, but I’ll be okay. Did they hurt you?”

“No, but I have a feeling they will. And I thought people in Bay City were hostile. We should be fortunate that we didn’t land in Rome. We could be facing lions or tigers that’d see us as their next snack.”

“Thanks for the reassurance. You’re just a barrel of laughs, Hutchinson.”

“Well, it was you that got us into this fix. You and your overwhelming curiosity. You’re learning about history firsthand, now, aren’t you?”

Starsky sat down in a corner and sulked for awhile. Then he asked THE question. “Where do you suppose they take a leak around here?”

That was the last straw for Hutch. “Damn it, Starsky, they probably just piss in the corner you’re sitting in and if you ask me that one more time, I’m going to take this fucking time machine and go on without you! You deserve whatever you get for turning that dial that has us jumping through hoops all over the place. Now take your punishment, whatever it is. Just remember I have to go through the same thing just because of you!”

Starsky immediately got up and looked back at the corner he’d been sitting in. Then he found a relatively clean spot and parked his ass there. He looked like he was about to cry and Hutch immediately relented.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown my stack and said that.”

“Why not, it’s true. I think you should go. Get out of here and save yourself. If anyone deserves to be punished, it’s me. Do it now, Hutch, before I have a chance to think about it.”

“Starsk, babe, you know I’d never leave you. I don’t care if they put us to death. I’ll be right there beside you and we’ll meet in the hereafter. I couldn’t live without you, it would be hell on earth, wherever I managed to land. You ever talk like that to me again and I’ll….I’ll, oh, I don’t know what I’ll do, but it won’t be pretty.”

Starsky sat with his hands resting on his bent knees and his head down. He had no answer.

“Starsk! Please say something!”

“I can’t take this anymore, Hutch. Knowing I caused all this and seeing you in danger all the time is worse than being on the streets. I worried myself sick there, too. It’s a wonder I don’t have an ulcer.”

“Hey, you didn’t have to worry back then. I had the best back-up any cop could ever have. Here the odds aren’t so good, but I was just blowing off steam. I’d be proud to die by your side, just as proud as I was to live by your side and sleep by your side.”

“I love you more than anything, babe.”

“That goes for me, too, lover.”

After a few hours of silence, as there didn’t seem to be much more to say, the guards came to take them away. At the last minute, before the guard grabbed hold of his leash, which was still on, Hutch broke away and grabbing Starsky’s collar, dragged him just far enough away that he could retrieve the time machine and quickly turn one of the dials, he had no idea which one.

This time they found themselves on the side of a mountain, looking down at a little settlement. Their first objective was to find some clothes. They were virtually naked and they couldn’t just walk into town that way. There were little shacks spread all over the side of the foothills and, since it was a nice day, many of the shacks had clothing strung out on the line, or even draped over bushes to dry. They scampered through a couple of back yards before they found suitable clothing for the both of them. Getting the collars off was harder than they thought it would be. They were gold and they would have to put up with them until they could find someone, a blacksmith, maybe, to get them off.

The beauty of the mountain behind them and the meadow of wildflowers, combined with the warmth of the day made them drowsy. And the situation that they found themselves in here was much more comforting than they had encountered so far. They lay down in the tall grass and dozed off.

When they woke up, it was late afternoon and they knew they had to get the collars off and sell them, so they could have a place to sleep for the night. As they entered the small village, they could see that there was only the bare necessities; a general store, an assay office, a saloon, a hardware store and a blacksmith shop.

They headed for the blacksmith shop. A crude man, he cursed them when they came in. He’d been about to close his doors and now his supper would be cold. Besides he’d never seen the likes of them before.

“What the hell do you want?”

Starsky stiffened, but a light touch from his partner and he said nothing. Hutch explained the situation the best he could to the flabbergasted man.

The blacksmith, whose name was Murphy, found it hard to believe that someone would put a gold collar and leash on another person and force them to do whatever was required of them. He softened a little and worked on the catch, but the collars were solidly in place.

“I may have to get them hot to get them off and I don’t know how I can do that. Why don’t you stay here in the hayloft tonight and I’ll try to come up with something in the morning?”

Happy to find someone who was not trying to kill them, they agreed. The blacksmith left and they were alone for the first time in days.

They piled up some hay in the hayloft and put down an old tarp they’d found. They both sank back as if they were luxuriating on a king-size bed at the Beverly Hilton. Hutch gathered Starsky up into his arms and they just lay there like that for awhile feeling the beating of each other’s hearts. The blond tangled his fingers in Starsky’s hair and brought his partners face up to meet his own. The first kiss was blissful for them after all the time of wanting, needing this. Then it deepened, Hutch knocking on the door and Starsky opening up to him to taste and feel the familiar territory of tongues, teeth and lips. Starsky nipped at his partner’s tongue and was reprimanded for it by a sharp bite on the neck. Then Hutch licked the injured spot and started running his tongue over the dark-haired mans neck and chest, pinning him in place so he could only feel what was being done to him. He knew from experience what effect that had on Starsky, who was bucking wildly and moaning. His shirt, already unbuttoned, came all the way off and then the denim pants. The dark-haired devil was wearing no underwear, having taken off the garb that he’d been wearing in Egypt.

“You’re a cock teaser, Starsk.”

“And you love it, babe. Come on; say you want me, that I’m yours and yours alone. I want to hear it.”

“Okay, you’re going to get more than you asked for.” Quickly turning his own collar around so the leash hung down the back, he grabbed Starsky’s leash and pushed him to his knees. “All this talk about slavery turns me on. What do you think of being my sex slave the last night we have to wear these? No, let me rephrase that. You got us into this and so far you’ve been lucky. In return for getting us into this damn mess, you’re going to be my sex slave for the night.”

Starsky’s eyes widened and he licked his lips. Grabbing one of Hutch’s hands he put his mouth around the middle finger and sucked on it, looking up at Hutch to gauge his reaction. Hutch closed his eyes and moaned. While his eyes were closed, Starsky bit his finger hard, and then tried to escape, but Hutch was still holding onto his leash and reeled him in.

“So we’re going to have to play games, huh?” Hutch jumped on the man and pinned him to the floor, holding both wrists over his head with one of his big, strong hands. “I wish I’d have thought to bring my handcuffs.”

Starsky tried his best to throw him off, but Hutch had hold of the collar, too, so there was no hope.

“Give,” Hutch commanded.

Starsky was having too much fun. He knew it was only a game they played when the tension level got to the point where they needed to let off steam. “No way!” he yelled back.

“Okay, now we bring out the big guns.”

“Hutch, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’ve only got one like everybody else and it’s really not THAT big.”

“I was talking about this, moron.” Hutch started tickling Starsky in all the places he knew were sensitive. “Say uncle!”

“Get the hell off me,” Starsky said between bursts of laughter.

“Not until you submit to me and be my sex slave.”

“How come I can’t get away from this slave thing?”

“Because some men are born to be masters and some are born to be slaves. I’m the masterful type.” Hutch relaxed his position just a little.

That was what Starsky had been waiting for; he hadn’t gotten all those awards in Martial Arts in the academy for nothing. He flipped Hutch so he was under him, before the blond even felt it coming. Then he rolled him on his stomach, while Hutch was still pondering his next move.

“You may be stronger, but I’m faster, buddy.” Hutch was helpless, as Starsky had the foresight to tie his hands behind his back with the leash that hung down behind him. “I’m sick of being the slave. Tonight, you’re it, lover. You’ll do anything I tell you to. Say uncle!”

Hutch didn’t answer, just laid there.

“Hutch, are you all right?”

“Hutch, answer me!”

“Hutch, baby, did I hurt you? I’m sorry. Talk to me. Please.”

No answer.

Starsky quickly untied him and rolled him over to see a big wide grin on his partner’s face that spelled nothing but trouble for him. “Who’s the brains in this outfit, huh, stud?”

“Okay, okay, I’ll concede. Facts are, I’m getting tired of this horseplay and I’m going to sleep.”

“Guess again, Romeo, you’re still on the auction block.”

“Aw, come on, Hutch, I conceded, submitted, whatever… What do you want me to do?”

“Just lay there and look gorgeous while I fuck you senseless.”

“Jeez, I must already be senseless to be hangin’ around with you.” Starsky muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Uh, I said, my feet’ll really be sensitive till I can get some new shoes.”

“You just lay there and think about your new shoes, I’m going down to see if they have anything we can use for grease.”

“Okay, knock yourself out. I’ll just rest here awhile.”

Hutch came back with a nasty looking jar of some kind of liniment.

“What the hell is in that, Hutch? You’re not putting any of it on or in me until I know.”

Hutch looked at the jar. “It says it’s used for horses with arthritic joints.”

“Well, you try it on yourself, before you touch me with it. It could burn like that Bengay stuff.”

“All right, you big chicken, it can’t be that bad. Here, let me show you.” Hutch pulled off his pants and dipped his hand in the jar and put a small dab on his cock. Within seconds, he jumped up and climbed down the ladder, ran through the barn, immersing himself in the horse trough outside.

Starsky laughed so hard he fell on the floor and had to roll around for awhile until he could breathe semi-normally. Then he looked out and hollered, “Says it has hot pepper sauce in it, Hutch. Just thought I’d warn ya.” That started him laughing all over again and he had tears streaming down his face by the time Hutch climbed back up the ladder. Starsky tried to contain himself, but the sight of the blond dripping wet, with just his shirt on and his cock one brilliant red blister just wouldn’t go away, even when he turned to face the other direction.

Hutch was not inclined to talk about the incident. He took off his shirt and hung it over the rail to dry, pulled his pants back on and sat down gingerly on the pile of hay, laying down on his side away from Starsky…

The curly haired man had finally composed himself and was feeling ashamed of laughing, so he went downstairs and found a couple of old saddle blankets. He gently covered his partner and joining him on the bed, pulled the other scratchy blanket over himself. He was asleep within seconds, while Hutch was still trying to find a comfortable position.

Morning evidently came early in the old west. Starsky was the first to wake.

Hutch hadn’t been able to sleep much, because of his discomfort. In the early hours of the morning, however, it did start to feel enough better that he could drop off to sleep.

Starsky heard the blacksmith come in to start building up the fire.

“You really have to get up early,” Starsky said, leaning over the railing.

“Aye, you have to get the fire hot afore your first customer.”

“Hey, Murph, what year is this?”

The man looked at him as if he was crazy.

“Can ya be so addled that ya don’t know what year it is? It’s 1849.”

“And just where are we?”

“Why, ye’re in California. Where did ya think ya were? Now, where is that damn horse liniment?” Murphy started to mumble to himself.

Starsky turned to prod Hutch awake.

“Hutch, come on, babe, get up! I got some good news to tell ya!”

Hutch opened his bloodshot eyes, and then quickly shut them again. He was still a little pissed at Starsky for laughing at him. He was glad, though, that the smaller man had made him test it out before…he didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t.

“Go away, Starsky. I need some sleep. I didn’t get much last night!”

“No, you gotta get up. I have to tell you something.”

It looked like the irritant was not going to leave, so Hutch forced his eyes open again. Sitting up was another matter. Fire erupted from the vicinity of his crotch. He moaned and fell back over on the bed. “Just, for the love of everything that’s holy, tell me straight, not in your usual long-winded style.”

“We’re in California, Hutch, California, we’re home!”

Hutch looked around and said, just to irritate his partner, “Doesn’t look much like home to me, it must be your place, smells like horseshit.”

“I don’t think I’m going to tell you the rest, since you’re being an asshole.”

“I don’t want to hear it anyway.” That always worked with Starsky. He just couldn’t keep anything to himself. Hutch wondered how he managed to stay undercover so well.

“Okay, I’m gonna go help Murphy and get this collar off. You can keep yours on forever, for all I care. When we get home, I can grab the leash and drag you away when you start looking at women.”

“You know full well that you’re the one that gawks at the ladies. I haven’t been looking at women for a long time.”

“Oh yeah, what about Janice in R & I, and Consuela, the meter maid? What about them?”

“Well, I’m only human, but you know I would never do anything with them, I just admire their looks, that’s all.”

“WELL, you know I wouldn’t either. I wouldn’t jeopardize what we got going for us. I’d never, even if you were gone, have anybody else, male or female, in my bed.”

“Starsk, men have needs, I wouldn’t want you to go without someone who could make you happy, just because I’m not there.”

“Then I’ll go to a hooker every so often. Happy?”

“Somehow that doesn’t reassure me, but I don’t want to follow you down this path of insanity you’re on, so leave me alone in private, so I can see if my cock is still attached.”

“Ya want me to get you some Bengay when we get home, Hutch? It really gets you hot and bothered!”

Hutch threw the bottle of liniment at him, narrowly missing his arm. “I wish I still had my gun, dirtball. I’m pretty sure shooting a Starsky wouldn’t be a hanging offense, they’d probably give me the key to the city, have a parade in my honor.”

Starsky went on down the ladder, but not without having the last word. “Hey, you and little Peter have a fun time while I’m getting this damned collar off.”

Murphy put him to work on the bellows, trying to get the fire hot enough to melt metal. When it was hot enough, he motioned to Starsky. “Let’s try it on yon strap first, then we’ll know if it canna be done.”

He sat Starsky down as close to the fire as he could stand, took up his rod and put it to the metal. Nothing happened for a while, and then the gold began to turn red-hot and soon after that, fell off onto the floor.

“Great, now let’s get this collar off, too. You’re a good man, Murph.”

“Aye, but I canna do it that close to your neck without burning you badly. I have to have something I can put between your neck and the fire that won’t heat up.”

Thinking asbestos probably hadn’t been invented yet, Starsky didn’t have a clue.

Hutch was climbing down the ladder. “A piece of really green wood soaked in water first might do it. You’d have to do it in stages, stopping and wetting it frequently.”

They were sent to find a piece of wood.

“Hutch….?”

“Don’t even ask me. This is the woods, piss anywhere you want.”

“How’d you know what I was going to ask?”

Hutch rolled his eyes. “Might be psychic, you think?”

Hutch’s plan worked beautifully. They had the collars off and were feeling free for the first time. They also had a little grubstake to get some of the things they needed. Murphy didn’t charge them, feeling sorry for what they’d been through. They didn’t tell him they were in ancient Egypt at the time.

They both went upstairs to get their things. Hutch sat down and took the time machine out of his shirt pocket and started to examine it, something he’d not had the luxury of doing, up till now.

Starsky stood there watching him for awhile. “Hutch, you say you’re the brains of the partnership…”

Hutch, knowing what he was going to say, tensed up.

“Well, why haven’t you been able to figure out that thing yet?”

As his hot Viking blood overcame his cool Nordic upbringing, Hutch’s face started to turn red. His chin turned up and his body followed suit. He poked Starsky in the chest with his index finger, punctuating every word he said. “Maybe it’s because I’ve been too busy rescuing you. If you’d stay out of trouble, and stop irritating me, I just might.”

Starsky opened his mouth, but Hutch had fire in his eyes, so he decided he’d be better off keeping it closed.

Hutch went on, “And before you ask me again, like I told you this morning, the john is pretty much wherever, unless there’s an outhouse in sight. We’ll get something to eat when we get these collars converted to gold coins. The saloon’s got all the beer you could handle and if you wanna get laid, you’d better stop bugging me and keep your mouth shut! A man can only take so much before he destroys the object that’s causing all of his irritating. Is that clear?!”

Starsky nodded and went back over to the other side of the hay loft to sit on a crate.

Silence reigned for the better part of two hours while Hutch studied the strange little metal gadget that had them hopping all over time and space. It didn’t seem to be made of any metal he’d ever seen and it was seamless. Studying the symbols, he realized he wasn’t even sure they were Chinese. They just had the same delicate picture words that came from the oriental culture.

“Hutch?”

“What, Starsk?”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay, babe. I was ready to blow and that just brought it to a head. I’m sorry, too.”

Starsky went over to lay down on the pile of hay, so Hutch could finish what he was doing. He finally threw up his hands in resignation.

He went over and sat down by Starsky. “I’m really sorry, baby, I guess I’m scared that we’ll be stuck jumping through time until we die.”

“But, Hutch, no matter whatever time we’re in, we’re there together. I could stay here and live in this barn the rest of my life, as long as you’re here, and be really happy.”

Hutch looked deeply into the sapphire eyes that he loved so much. He saw that Starsky really meant what he said. He smiled a sad smile. “I guess, putting it that way, we’re in a time now where we could at least live out our days. No red tomato, no LTD, no health food, no McDonald’s, no burritos, pizza, tacos…”

“I certainly won’t miss that dinosaur you drive.”

“Watch it, David Michael Starsky, you know better than to run down my car!” He punched his partner in the arm. “Come on, let’s get down to the assayer’s office and see what we can get for these.”

The clerk at the assayer’s office refrained from questioning where the items had come from. He weighed them and paid them out in gold coins, which added up to quite a nice sum. They split them up, agreeing it was best, under the circumstances. One of them could become separated from the other.

The next stop was the general store, where they bought boots, socks and some jerky, in case they needed it. Hutch saw Starsky trying on a black Stetson hat. He looked so damn good in it, Hutch added it to the pile.

When Starsky asked if he didn’t want one, too, Hutch said, “No, he’d had enough of wearing a Stetson when they were undercover at the dance studio. He’d had to play such a klutzy Texas millionaire and it had soured him on the hats. They each got another pair of the denim pants and another shirt. Starsky found a pair of red long johns just like he had back home, so they had to have them. Because of the impending cold weather, Hutch a pair, too, but his were white. They each got a saddlebag, which seemed to be what everyone carried their possessions in. The last thing they got was two long coats, Starsky’s black and Hutch’s tan. The man at the store told them the exact date when Hutch asked and they realized that it was the end of the summer and they might need something warm soon.

At the hardware store, they bought guns and holsters, not the ones they were used to, of course, and Starsky complained that they got in his way, being around his waist, but that was all they had.

They entered the hotel, which seemed to be a oasis of civilization in an ocean of urbanity. They rented a room for a week, after looking at it first. It was primitive, but a step up from the castle. The bed was going to be pretty small for both of them, but they were used to spooning together anyway. They hung up their new clothes and put their other things away. They had also discovered that the hotel had a little room added to it where they could get a decent meal.

They still had quite a bit of the gold left. Hutch figured they had enough for at least another two or three weeks. They went into the dining room and were waited on by a very pretty young woman. They both discovered the other watching her and each turned his head the other way so fast it was a wonder their necks weren’t broken. They splurged and had steak and nothing had ever tasted so good to them. Creamy old-fashioned mashed potatoes and gravy and hot, fresh-baked bread with real churned butter. They savored every bite, then climbed the stairs, feeling at peace for the first time since this whole thing had started.

When they got to their room, they were exhausted, especially Hutch, so they crawled under the covers, Hutch holding his lover tightly in front of him.

“Hutch?”

“’emm.”

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to go home.”

“Why, Starsk?”

“I was beginning to get burnt out on the job. Us catching the scum, red-handed, then the next day their lawyer bails them out. They finally get to trial weeks, sometimes even years later, and they get off scot free, because of some technicality. Remember when we left the academy; we were going to make a difference in the world.” He chuckled. “We felt like we were Batman and Robin, you know, the Dynamic Duo. I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ve got all these scars on my body and I’m tired of the risks. It’s like trying to plug a hole in the dike with one finger. You know it’s all going to come down on you eventually.”

“Aw, lover, don’t feel that way. We have made a difference. What’s more, we’ve done our best. That’s all anybody can do. We’ve saved a lot of lives. Even if we’d only saved one, we’d have made a difference.”

“That’s true, I never realized it. Remember the bottle half empty? That’s the way I was looking at it. I need to remember it half full. You’re a freakin’ genius, Hutchinson! What would I do without you?”

“Let’s hope you never have to find out. I’m still planning on living a hundred and forty years, remember?”

“Yeah, I sure hope you do,” he said drowsily. “Night, partner.”

“Dream of me, okay?”

Starsky was already snoring softly, and Hutch soon followed him into a dream world where nobody wanted to hurt another.

The sun streaming into the window woke Hutch. He had a pressing need, so he extricated himself from Starsky’s grip. That caused a little moan and then the dark haired half of the duo turned back over and went back to sleep.

Pulling on all his clothes and making his way to the outhouse in back of the hotel made Hutch rethink his idea of just staying here. He went in and was repelled by the stench. He did his business as fast as he could and got out.

Getting back to the room, he found his partner awake with a questioning look on his face.

Hutch gestured with his thumb, “Outhouse is in back. Don’t go in there if you have to sit down. Sometimes the rattlers get in there and they’ll jump up and bite you on the ass.”

Starsky looked stunned for a moment, and then he turned, got dressed and made his way to the little building. He was floored by the smell, but looked closely into the holes and decided Hutch was just trying to yank his chain. He pulled down his pants and sat down on one of the holes… All of a sudden the outhouse started rocking and trembling. Starsky was afraid that the ramshackle little hut was going to come down on top of him. He pulled his pants up and got out of there as fast as he could. When he got back to the room, he found Hutch lying on the bed, peacefully at rest with his arms behind his head.

“Damn, Hutch. did you feel that? It must have been an earthquake! I thought the building was going to fall over on me.”

“I didn’t feel anything, baby. Let’s go down and get some breakfast.”

“You didn’t feel that? It was a bad one. We may get some aftershocks outta that.”

They went downstairs to the dining room and had their breakfast, with Starsky asking everyone if they’d felt the earthquake. Hutch seemed to be amused by it. By the time they reached their room again, Starsky was wise to the joke.

“You did that, didn’t you?”

At that, Hutch burst out laughing.

“I’m gonna create some aftershocks of my own. You about made me have a heart attack.” He wrestled Hutch down to the floor. That wasn’t difficult, as Hutch was laughing so hard he couldn’t resist. Starsky attacked his neck while he was helpless and put a nice row of love bites on the front and sides of his neck.

“Now you’re wearin’ my collar, buddie boy, and you will pay!”

Hutch finally sobered up and started complaining that he couldn’t go outside with those on his neck. “I was just trying to pay you back for laughing at me last night. Now what am I supposed to do?” Hutch wailed.

“I don’t know. Sounds like a personal problem to me.”

Once things started to calm down, Starsky began to think about his partner’s injury from the night before. He made a motion towards the still-smiling blond’s crotch… “Does it still burn pretty bad, Blintz?”

“It’ll be okay. Nothing like last night. I thought it was going to burn the thing right off me.”

“I’m sorry I laughed at you, but I couldn’t help it.”

“I know, I just get so full of myself sometimes, I need to get shot down. I would’ve laughed my ass off if it had been you.”

“Maybe you should see a doctor, if they have one here.”

“No way, how would I explain something like this?”

“I love you so much, babe. I’m not taking very good care of you, am I?”

“That’s funny, I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you, love. You need the most care ’cause you’re always getting yourself in trouble.”

“Well, I don’t go out looking for it, Hutch, it usually just finds me.”

“That’s for sure.”

“So what are we going to do today?”

“I’ve got an idea about that. Did you see all those prospectors up on the hills?”

“Is that what they’re doing, looking for gold?”

“They’re the forty-niners. They came here by the hundreds when gold was discovered in this area.”

“Come on, Hutch, the forty-niners are a football team, not a bunch of old geezers with jackasses, running around the countryside, crazy as bedbugs.”

“Starsk, that’s where the football team got its name. We’re somewhere close to San Francisco.”

“Just what do you want to do? Take a train to Bay City, and hope we hop into the right time?”

“Not just yet. I’m thinking of panning for gold until we build up enough to keep us going for awhile.”

“That’s a great idea, you are the brains, sometimes,” Starsky chuckled a little remembering last night.

“I don’t ever want to hear about that incident again, or I’ll tickle you to death.” Hutch held up all ten of his long fingers.

“Oh, I’m really scared.”

“You’d better be. Let’s get going, then. I feel lucky today.”

They stopped at the hardware store for pans and a strainer to filter the gold out of the sand and headed for the river. They had trouble finding a place, but went up river far enough that they didn’t have to contend with the pushing and shoving the other gold seekers were resorting to.

Within a few hours of hard work, they had a small bag of gold dust. Starsky wanted to quit for the day, but Hutch opted for staying a little longer.

Starsky had to relieve himself, so he went a little further, where there was nobody around. As he was buttoning up his pants, he saw something shining in the sun. It was under the water, but trapped there by a larger rock. He waded into the river and dragged the object out into the sun. It was absolutely the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He climbed back down and found his partner.

“Hutch, I think I got some gold.”

“That’s good, Starsk, just put it into the bag with the other gold,” Hutch said tiredly. “Then I think we better quit so we can get this to the assayers office as soon as possible. We’ve had nothing but jerky all day. We need a good meal.”

“But, Hutch, I think this is too big. We’re going to need a separate bag.”

It took a minute for that to register.

“What did you say?”

“I said, it’s going to need its own bag.”

“Let me see it! It’s probably fool’s gold if you found it.”

“Now, that really hurts, Hutch. I should just keep it to myself and not share the wealth.”

“I’m sorry, just kidding. Let me see it.”

Starsky handed over the nugget. It was the size of the Hutch’s palm.

After looking it all over, he laughed.

“What, it is fool’s gold?”

“I don’t think so. I can’t be sure, but I think it really is gold!”

“That should feed us for a while, I bet.”

“You better believe it, buddy. You’ve just won the jackpot!”

They hurried down to the assay office and came away with more gold coins than they could carry in their pockets. It was dangerous to be walking around with it and they figured the assayer might say something to tip others off about the nugget.

There was no bank, so they decided they could do nothing but hide it in their room and hope for the best. They scattered it all over the room, so if someone did get into the room, hopefully, they wouldn’t find all of it.

They went down to eat, then went back up to make sure everything was okay. It looked undisturbed, so they decided to go to the saloon and get some beer.

It was noisy and packed with men hoping to get rich and saloon girls hoping to get some money out of the men.

They got their beer and sat down to drink it. They were waylaid by a bevy of women wearing abbreviated costumes, which was not shocking to them. Once they made it known that they definitely weren’t interested, they were left alone.

Starsky noticed a poker game going on in the back. “Hutch, do you mind if I sit in for a little bit?”

“Be careful, Starsk, some of these men look dangerous.”

“I can handle myself.”

The game went back and forth for awhile, then Starsky started adding up a lot of gold coins. It began to get ugly. Hutch moved to a position closer to Starsky, in case he was needed. Starsky had decided he’d had enough and announced that he was going to retire for the night.

There was one man who looked like a professional gambler or a gunman and he jumped up in outrage. “You’re not about to quit without letting us have a chance to win our money back!”

“I have the option to quit anytime I want.” Starsky answered back.

“Not around here, you don’t. And what’s more, I think you were cheating.”

That elevated Starsky’s blood pressure, but he didn’t go over the edge. Instead, his voice grew cold enough to melt ice cubes at twenty degrees below zero. “I don’t cheat. I won fair and square.” He looked around at the other men at the table. “Do any of you think I was cheating?”

They shook their heads.

Hutch had been making his way to his partner’s side. Finally he had reached a position just beside him.

“I guess you’re in the minority, pal,” Starsky growled.

In a split second, the man reached for his gun. He was quicker than Starsky but not by much. At the same time Hutch launched his body in front of his partner and was hit in the chest. Starsky’s gun went off, and the other man was hit.

And they leaped…

They found themselves in a cramped round space. It was kind of like sitting in a barrel. Starsky’s immediate concern was for his partner. He’d seen the gunman draw and Hutch jump across his body, then fall to the floor, just as the gunman was pulling the trigger. There was no way Hutch could have escaped being hit. But there was no blood and Hutch seemed dazed, but not hurt. Furthermore, they hadn’t activated the disk, so why had they leaped?

And wherever they were, it was definitely not solid ground.

“Hutch, are you all right?” The sky blue eyes looked at him in total bewilderment. “Hutch?”

“What happened, Starsk? Why am I still alive? I felt the bullet hit right on the left side of my chest. It should have hit me dead center in my heart.” He looked down at his shirt pocket and pulled the little time machine out. Then he put his hand in again and stuck his finger through the hole that had been created by the bullet.

“It must have hit this gizmo,” he said in awe. “And it’s not even dented. The pressure of the bullet hitting it must have sent us flying again.”

“Jeez, Hutch, I thought you were dead. We must have one helluva guardian angel.”

“You got that right, buddy.”

“I’m kinda sick to my stomach, Hutch; I’m going to get up and see where we are.” The dark-haired man started to stand and quickly sank back down again.

“Well?”

“You better look, but don’t get up fast. And I don’t want to know what you see.”

Hutch looked over the edge of the barrel-like structure and he, too, sat down in haste.

“Where are we, Hutch?”

“You said you didn’t want to know.”

“I’m afraid I’ve got to ’cause I’m about to barf, and I wanna know what I’m gonna hit when I do.”

“Do you want the bad news or the worse news or the worst news?”

“Give me the bad news first.”

“We’re out in the middle of the ocean.”

“What could be worse than that?”

“We’re about fifty feet in the air.”

Hutch looked at the flag that was flying in the wind.

“Those are bad enough. I don’t think I want to hear anymore.”

“We’re on a pirate ship. In the crows-nest.”

“I think we should bug out of here right now.”

“You may have a point this time. It can’t get much worse than this.”

Before they had a chance to leap, a head with one eye and a patch over the other peeked over the edge of the crows-nest; in his hand he held a gun that was pointed straight at them. He saw the time machine in Hutch’s hand and demanded that he hand it over.

Hutch tried to tell him it was nothing valuable, but the man wouldn’t be swayed. Hutch handed over the little disk with a sinking heart.

They were given the order to get out of the crows-nest and climb down. The way the ship was rocking, it looked like they were in for a storm. To Starsky, being afraid of heights and having an aversion to water, at least large bodies of it, it was like hell. He froze on the way down and Hutch had to go up and try to talk him down.

“Hutch is here, babe, it’s all right, you’re not going to fall. Just close your eyes, and don’t look down. Pretend you’re going down the stairs of your apartment. I’ll be right ahead of you. If you start to fall, I’ll catch you.”

Slowly and laboriously, they made their way down the mast that loomed high above them.

Hutch whispered endearments all the way, his body wrapped around the smaller man’s legs. As soon as Starsky hit the deck, he was off to the railing to vomit and retch until he couldn’t bring anything more up.

The whole crew clustered around them, and a more disreputable bunch of men the two detectives had never seen. They were dressed in filthy clothes and most of them had beards, which came down almost to their waist.

One man, whom they assumed was the captain, was dressed a little better and seemed to have some education. He pushed through the crowd of men, with his sword drawn. “I’m the captain of this ship! How d’ye come to be in yon crows-nest? Be ye demons or be ye men?” He was wearing finer clothes, probably taken in a raid, but he reeked of sweat and urine. He obviously didn’t take many baths.

Hutch thought probably they all wore the same clothes until they raided another ship and then they picked out what they wanted to wear from the finery of that vessel. Hutch assessed the men, not liking the looks of any of them. He figured them to be scum who’d somehow commandeered a ship and were terrorizing every other ship they came across, looting and raping to their heart’s content.

“We’re just ordinary men, Captain.” Hutch felt a pang of homesickness as he addressed this miscreant as Captain, wondering what they were thinking back home. Dobey must be out of his mind with worry. As would Starsky’s mom, and his own folks, and Huggy. They all must think that he and his partner were dead.

“Stowaways, ain’t ye? Ye’re lucky we can use more men, or ye’d be walkin’ the plank. We just lost three men to scurvy.”

Starsky had been silent throughout the whole conversation and Hutch took a quick glance at the man, wondering if he was all right. He caught the flash in his partner’s eyes that signaled he was back from the shock of finding himself in the middle of the ocean and having to climb from the fifty foot perch.

“What makes you think we’d work for you?” he said heatedly.

The captain backhanded him and he reeled, almost falling to the deck. “If ye won’t work, we’ll throw ye into the drink. There be sharks aplenty. Ye won’t last long.”

Hutch whispered, “Starsky, don’t piss him off. We’ve got to get the gizmo back. We’ll have to work and hope we can snatch it back as soon as possible.”

“Okay, I’ll play ball, but these guys better not try any wrong moves, or I’ll…”

“You’ll do nothing. We’ll go along and do what they say until we can get that disk back.” Hutch turned back to the man, “Okay, Captain. We’ll work for you.”

The captain grunted with satisfaction. “The other men will tell ye what to do.” He sheathed his sword and dismissed them without another word.

The man who’d taken the time machine from Hutch taunted him with it. “Ye can have it back if ye were to do certain favors for me.” His suggestive look left no doubt of what “favors” he wanted done. He reached up and stroked Hutch’s hair. “Ain’t never seen hair this purty before. I could take a real shine to ye.”

Starsky came out swinging. “Leave him alone, he’s mine!”

“Whatever yer wishes, but if the captain sends fer ye some night, ye’d best go. Fer that matter, I wouldn’t mind beddin’ ye, with them curly locks and lovely arse ye got. Come on, I’ll show ye where ye’ll bunk.”

They followed the man, but Starsky’s face was red with anger. Hutch only hoped he could hold it in until they got the disk back.

They were each given a hammock in the hold to sleep on. The man that had the disk was called Billy Bones, probably because he was tall and thin. He also told them that he was the first mate. Because of his prowess in climbing to the crows-nest, he assigned Hutch a job above deck. Starsky, he relegated to the galley to help the cook.

“That does it, you always come out better in this whole leaping thing. I always end up on the short end of the stick. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.”

“Don’t you worry, baby, when we get through with this, I’ll treat you like the most loved bride ever. Carry you over the threshold and everything.”

Starsky laughed for the first time since they’d found themselves in the crows-nest. “You don’t have to do that, Blintz. Your back would never be the same.”

“I’ve carried you before, if you’ll remember.”

“Actually, I believe I was semi-conscious at the time. You’ve told me about it, though.”

“Which one of us is going to have to make nice with Billy, in order to get that damn thing back?”

“Let’s flip a coin for it.”

“Nah, I’ll do it. I don’t want to have to think about you being with him. Besides, I’m going to be below most of the time, it’ll be easier for him to come on to me. There won’t be so many others around. And I’m the reason we’re in this mess, anyway.”

“I hate to see you with him, too, but we’ve got to get that disk back as soon as we can. I guess you do probably have the best chance. You be careful, though. I love you and don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I love you, too, babe. You don’t let them feed you to the sharks. Just whack ’em over the head with that Long John of yours.”

Hutch chuckled. “And you keep your Jolly Roger tucked in. Look, as long as we’re being useful, I don’t think they’ll do anything to us, so we’d better do the best we can.”

Billy came back to show Starsky where the galley was and then he took Hutch along with him to work topside.

The cook was a Spaniard and Starsky had trouble at first understanding his broken English, but in time he found that he had learned the basics and they settled into a quiet routine. The man was decent to him, seeming to appreciate the extra work Starsky took off his hands. He was an older man, burdened with arthritis and there was just so much he could do.

Hutch, on the other hand, was out in the rainy weather, swabbing the deck and doing whatever else they told him to do. None of them liked the crows-nest duty, while Hutch had shown no fear of it, so he was assigned to climb up there periodically to sight for land or another ship or a big group of whales, which could sometimes capsize a ship. Hutch was happy to be up there and escape all the groping hands on him. These men were like prisoners, they had needs and thought nothing of gang-raping another one of their own. It was just a way to get by.

The two detectives met in the hold sometimes and shared a stolen kiss, but could not give their secret away, or they would have to accommodate the whole ship.

Starsky had to move slowly in his chore of flirting and luring Billy, sometimes leaving the man confused and angry. The pirate wanted the dark-haired detective and nothing was going to get in his way of having him.

A week went by, and there was virtually nothing to eat. The potatoes had maggots and there was not much salt pork left. The men were getting restless. Knife fights broke out and they were all on edge, hoping to see land soon. The only thing that kept them from a mutiny was the Captain. They were all afraid of him.

Starsky finally allowed Billy to take him to his small cabin and while the man was taking off his clothes, he jumped him and hit him over the head. It took only a matter of minutes for him to ransack the cabin and find the disk.

He grabbed it and stuffed it in his pocket. Then he ran for the deck. It was evening and Hutch was in the crows-nest. Starsky caught his attention and motioned for him to come down. As it was, Hutch had just been ready to yell, “Land Ho,” to let everyone know that they were passing a good-sized portion of land. Not knowing what Starsky had on his mind, he didn’t say anything to the others. When he got down, Starsky whispered to him that he had the disk and they’d better waste no time in getting out of there.

There were few pirates on deck, most of them had gone down to eat whatever there was left. The only hope for the two was to get into one of the life boats and make it to land. It wasn’t too far, they had no idea if there were any people there or not, but they unanimously opted to head for shore.

They got one side of the lifeboat unhooked before the few pirates that were on the deck came running towards them.

“What do we do now, Hutch?” Starsky asked.

“Jump, Starsk.”

“In there?” Starsky indicated the large body of water on which the ship floated.

“Yes, in there!” Seeing that Starsky was having trouble with his fears, Hutch jumped and pulled his partner with him. “Now you gotta swim, babe, swim like you never have before. You can do it, I know you can!”

Starsky could swim, but was not as strong a swimmer as Hutch who had worked as a lifeguard several summers. He was out in the lead and thought Starsky was right behind him. He looked back and saw that his partner was quite a ways behind him. He also saw, in horror that a big black fin was tracking his friend. He started back to do what he could. He saw the puzzled look on Starsky’s face, and then he yelled, “Shark.”

Starsky glanced quickly behind him, and picked up his pace a little. Hutch grabbed him and towed him as fast as he could toward the land. He heard Starsky scream just before they got to the shallow water and pulled him up on shore.

Hutch was definitely not prepared for what he saw when he turned to look at his partner. Starsky’s leg had been torn off at the knee. “Oh, God, Starsky, I’m sorry.” Hutch lost no time in getting his shirt off and tying it tightly around Starsky’s leg, just above the knee. Hutch knew it would be just a matter of time before the pirates landed. He had no illusions about what would happen when they did.

“Starsk, hang on for me, buddy. Don’t you dare leave me now. I need you so much.”

But Starsky was slipping into shock and couldn’t answer. He was shaking like a leaf and Hutch wished he had something warm to cover him with. He curled his body as close as he could to Starsky, trying to warm him, but it didn’t do much good.

Hutch knew the only chance of saving Starsky’s life was to leap back home or somewhere where they had modern hospital facilities. He located the disk in Starsky’s pocket and held his partner tightly as he turned the dial on the disk once more.

He found himself in a totally white environment. The buildings all were white, and, from what he saw, most of the houses were made of something that resembled some kind of thick plastic. He was on the outskirts of the city and several people were standing around watching, not wanting to get involved. Hutch noticed that they spoke English, at least. One of the men broke out of the group and said he’d take them to the hospital in his car. Between the two of them, they got Starsky into the car. Hutch was so obsessed with his partner that he didn’t notice until they got going that there was no engine noise. And it felt like the whole vehicle was floating on air.

“What year is this?” he asked the man who’d come to their rescue.

“Why, it’s 2030, July 29th, to be exact.”

“My God, I asked for a time when they have modern hospitals. I didn’t expect anything like this,” Hutch muttered to himself.

“Here’s the hospital. I’ll go in and let them know you need help.”

“Hey, man, thanks so much. By the way, where are we?”

“Do you have amnesia? Maybe the doctors should take a look at you, too.”

“I just want to know where we are.”

“This is the Republic of New York. The East is divided from the West now by a wall, since the Great Civil War. New York is the capital of the East; the Republic of Los Angeles is the capital of the West.”

The man left to get the emergency team. Hutch sat in the back seat with Starsky’s head in his lap, smoothing his hair, alternately crooning to him and begging him not to die. He was very afraid of how Starsky was going to accept this. When he’d come back from the Gunther shooting, it was very difficult for him, but he at least knew that he would be able to come back and he had toiled and sweated to make that happen. He knew that the last thing Starsky would want was to be forever dependent on someone for his needs. Hutch was afraid he would lose the man that was so much a part of his love and his life.

The emergency team lost no time in getting his partner on a gurney, which Hutch could see also floated on air rather than wheels.

Starsky was unconscious when they brought him in. They took him right into surgery. In general, the staff of the hospital seemed coldly efficient. They glided around silently, responding only to the physicians. One of them escorted Hutch to a room with two beds where he could shower and change his clothes. After being assured that Starsky could be in surgery awhile, he was given a sedative because he was frantic about his partner.

They told him that Starsky would be brought back to this room, when he got out of recovery, so after a valiant effort to stay awake, he nodded off.

When he woke, he looked over at the other bed. It was still empty, which alarmed him. It must have been several hours since they had taken him into surgery.

A doctor came in to check him over. He ran some kind of sensor over Hutch, which appeared to measure his temperature, blood pressure, pulse, and respiration. Probably other bodily functions, also. It made him think of Starsky and his fascination for Star Trek. He mumbled, “Am I gonna live, Bones?”

The doctor gave him a confused look. “Is that your friend’s name?”

“No, just something from the distant past.” He smiled sadly in remembrance of the nights with his lover. They had spent hours making out on the couch and trying to keep track of the show. Somehow the making out always won. He longed for Starsky’s warmth, Hutch’s lips on the smaller man, sending them both to Paradise. Now…Starsky…

Hutch knew what this was going to do to his friend. In Starsky’s eyes he might as well be castrated. Hutch wondered if he’d realized yet what had happened to him or if it would be left up to him to tell him. How could he possibly give him this kind of news? If they ever got home, the best he could expect was a desk job. Hutch had tears in his eyes and the only thing that stopped them was the gurney bringing Starsky into the room.

The doctors and nurses left for awhile after checking the IVs and making sure everything was working. Starsky was still out, but Hutch crept to the side of his bed and started talking to him. “Aw baby, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know what a change it’s going to make in your life. But you’re the strongest man I know, you’ll cope. I’ll help you and you’ll learn to walk again just like before.”

Starsky moaned and started moving around on the bed. Hutch remembered another time when he had to sit there, helpless, looking at all the apparatus that was just barely keeping Starsk alive. The medical technology here had to be much advanced. Surely something could be done with artificial prostheses.

Starsky was beginning to wake up to a lot of pain.

The doctor came back in. “How’s he doing?”

“I think he’s really hurting. Is there something you can do for him?”

“We need to keep him lucid so that we can talk to him, then we’ll give him some medication for the pain.

Starsky opened his eyes and immediately those sapphires looked till they found the one they wanted–Hutch.

Hutch moved closer and took his hand.

“I hurt so bad, Hutch.”

“I know, love, but we need to hear what this doctor has to say.”

“Dr. Varrick, please call me Tom.”

“What is it that you want to know? My friend here is in a lot of pain.”

“Mr. Starsky…”

“Call me Dave.”

“Dave, I have to tell you that you’ve lost your right leg below the knee.”

Hutch grabbed Starsky hand and squeezed it with all his might.

“Oh my God, no…it can’t be, please let this be a nightmare.”

“Hear me out, Dave; it’s not as bad as you think. From your clothes and other tips, we’ve deduced that you are time travelers. We get that type of thing occasionally. You have a decision to make. We’ve extracted some of your DNA from your upper right leg. We now have the technology to clone, or basically grow another leg for you and graft it to your body. There will even be no scarring; we’ve learned how to buff the scars out. In fact, I could get rid of those on your chest and back, too, if you wanted. I’ll let you alone for a little while and you can talk it over in private with your spouse.”

That brought Starsky around and made him forget about his leg. “Do you suppose? Nah, it can’t be. People are never going to come out of the dark ages and be tolerant about mixed marriages.”

“Let’s talk about your leg, first. I think you should do it. You’ve got nothing to lose, Starsk. Imagine that, you can probably watch through a window and monitor the growth of your own leg.”

“Yeah, I’ll take a chance.”

Dr. Varrick came in and overheard that last sentence. “I do hope that means that you’re going to give us permission to start the process.”

“Yeah, but I’ve kinda taken a liking to the other scars. They’re a big part of what I am and what I do.”

“Okay, all I need is your okay, and your signature on this form. And we can get started.”

“How long will it take, Doc?”

“About a week before the leg is ready, then we go back to surgery for the grafting process, and about three weeks of physical therapy. Then you two can be on your way.”

Starsky was trying to listen, but his eyes were glazed and he was biting his lip. Hutch could tell what kind of pain he was in. He attempted to get the doctor on his way so he could get some pain medication for Starsky.

“Dr. Varrick, could he have some pain medication, please?”

“Sure, sorry, I sometimes tend to get carried away with the progress that’s been made in the last few years. Where did you say your original jump into time was.”?

“I didn’t.”

The doctor put in a call to one of the nurses for the medication.

“And what time and place have you come to us from?”

“1980, Bay City, California. This is the first time we’ve leaped forward. I guess it’s a good thing we did if Starsky can get his leg back.”

Seeing that his partner was resting more comfortably, Hutch walked out of the room with the doctor. “Do you think he’ll come out of this okay, doctor?”

“I can’t guarantee that, of course, but we’ve done literally hundreds of these and the majority have turned out very well. I think your spouse will be just fine.”

“Is it that obvious to you that we’re ‘different’? We’re not really married. There was a big taboo in the seventies about that kind of thing.”

“That’s a shame, you two seem to have a special relationship. I guess I just assumed you were married.”

“And that’s possible in this time?”

“Certainly, all the barriers have been broken down. People are free to marry whom they choose.”

“Then, people finally do get enlightened. Thank you for telling me, Dr.Varrick. When we get home, at least we’ll know that there’s hope in the future.”

“It’s, Tom, remember?”

“Call me Ken. Is there a public shelter where I could stay while Starsky’s getting well? I just don’t have anything but a few gold coins left.”

“That’s perfectly all right. We don’t mind the family being here around the clock. In fact, we encourage it. It’s an integral part of the therapy. And I suspect we wouldn’t be able to keep you away with a baseball bat. I’ll order that a tray be sent up to you, too, Ken.”

“Another question. The nursing staff seems very efficient, but cold. They never smile and reply only to you. Why is that?”

“Because they’re androids. We began experimenting around the turn of the century. They do their job and ask for neither pay nor food. They are the quintessential care-giver. If we don’t need one of them, they’re put in storage; if they become obsolete, we destroy them.”

“They look so real. It’s kind of disconcerting.”

Dr. Varrick stopped one of the nurses in the hallway. From the nametag, her name was Marilyn.

“Hello, Marilyn. This is Ken.”

“Yes, Dr. Varrick.”

“Can you say hello to Ken?”

“Hello, Ken,” she parroted.

Dr. Varrick made a motion with his hand and she left.

Dr., there’s something I’d like you to do for me.” Hutch fished around in his pocket for a couple of the few gold coins he had left… “It’s a secret.” He whispered in the doctor’s ear.

Dr. Varrick smiled and nodded. “There’s nothing I’d enjoy more. I’ll arrange it for you and keep your coins. You may need them wherever you go next.”

“Thanks, Tom, for everything. We’ve been through a lot and most of it hasn’t been pleasant.” Hutch went back into Starsky’s room as soon as the doctor left.

His partner was sleeping peacefully. Hutch smoothed his lover’s hair back from his forehead, and planted a kiss there. Then he sank down on the other bed and was soon asleep.

Starsky woke up a couple of hours later, thrashing around and groaning in pain. Hutch called for one the nurses to bring him some medication. “Starsk, they’ll be coming in a few minutes to give you something for the pain. Just take some deep breathes, buddy. Do it for Hutch.”

In spite of his pain, Starsky looked up at his partner with sapphire eyes made dull by the medication. “Yes, coach, I’m working on it. You know, I still feel pain in the leg that’s gone. I couldn’t feel pain in a place that wasn’t there, could I?”

“Baby, what I think you’re feeling is called phantom pain. Nobody really knows what causes it, but a lot of people experience it.”

“It’s true, though, Hutch, that damn shark did eat my leg off…”

“I wish I could tell you otherwise. It’s true, love, but you’re soon going to have another one. The doc said tomorrow or the next day we can get you up in a wheelchair and take you down to see how your new leg is progressing.”

After being medicated, Starsky fell into a fitful sleep. Hutch spent a lot of time just lying on his bed watching his partner and wondering why he deserved such a lover. Starsky was stronger than he would ever be, going through the tragedies in his life. Hutch felt lucky that they’d sat down one day and openly admitted that they had feelings for each other and not just normal brotherly feelings, either.

And so it went for the next couple days. Hutch spent hours at Starsky’s bedside talking to his partner, encouraging him, and letting him know that he was loved, desired, and cherished.

Dr. Varrick came into the room with a wheelchair the fifth day.

“What’s that for?” Starsky asked.

“I just thought you might like to go visit your leg.”

Starsky was a little woozy from the drugs, but he let the two men assist him into the wheelchair. Dr. Varrick took them to the floor, which was off limits, so they had to have tags to fasten on their shirts, showing they had a reason to be there. They approached what looked like a large incubator.

Hutch gasped at the sight of the near fully formed leg. Starsky couldn’t see anything from his angle and they had to stand him up to see. There was an awed expression on his face…

“What are my limitations going to be, Doc?”

“There are none. It’s going to take a little physical therapy, but you should be as good as new. It’s your leg, so there won’t be any rejection. It’s all yours.”

“Geez, how can I ever thank you?”

“I’m just doing my job, Dave. This is a big part of it. I’ve set the surgery for bright and early in the morning.”

“I thought you said a week.”

“It’s different for everybody. You two are strong and healthy. It didn’t take as long.”

Starsky was ready to go back to sleep, so they took him back to his room. He asked Hutch to cuddle up with him in his bed, which his lover was happy to do.

“I’m not hurting you, am I, Babe?”

“Better to hurt than then to not be able to snuggle with you, Blintz.”

“I don’t know if you’ll think that in the morning.”

The doctor hadn’t lied, it was early morning when they came for him. Hutch kissed him tenderly and told him he loved him and Starsky did the same. The put their foreheads together and looked deep into one another’s eyes, causing what looked like blue fire erupting from one another, the light of true love reflected like no one had ever seen or would probably ever see again in their lifetime. It lasted only a moment, than Starsky gave him the thumbs up sign and told him not to worry. He knew that was impossible. They disappeared from sight into the surgical wing.

Hours later, Tom came out into the patient waiting room and motioned to Hutch. They sat down in a smaller room, which made Hutch nervous. He knew from experience that these rooms were for the families of the dead and dying to mourn in privacy.

“You look serious, doc, give it to me straight, did we lose him? For God’s sake, tell me….”

“I’ve rarely seen such a fighter. When we got in there and could see the devastation that shark did to his leg, we almost gave up, but it actually went better than I’d thought it would. I think he’ll be okay. A week’s rest, antibiotics and some medication to make sure his body doesn’t reject his new limb, and we’ll set him free. Are you planning to stay here indefinitely?”

“Well, I thought we would. Maybe here you have the technology to help us get the time machine operational, so we can get back to our own time.”

“You’re welcome to stay. I just have to tell you that you both don’t have much time.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“We’ve become vastly overpopulated. We’ve resorted to allowing families only one child and we exterminate the middle aged and elderly. You and your friend will only have a couple years before you’ll have to be put down.”

“Jeezus, put down? You put down an animal, not a human being. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”

“I’m afraid that’s the only way we can survive. We eliminate any babies that are born imperfect and if someone gets a disease we have no cure for, he’s exterminated, too. And, of course, the criminals.”

“Let me get this straight. Forty is the oldest you can get in this society?”

“That’s right.”

“And if a baby is born to parents who have already got a child, it’s taken away a…?”

“Killed, Ken. We do it humanely. The baby is given an injection and just goes to sleep, they never wake up.”

Hutch excused himself to go back to their room and think about all the things he’d been told. He scooted the hospital chair over by his sleeping friend, then found himself day dreaming about going home.

He wondered how many hospital beds he’d sat beside, with Starsky fighting for his life. Now he wondered if it was worth it all. They only had a couple more years allotted to them if they stayed here, but they could leap into a worse situation. He wished he knew more about the little disk, but unfortunately, it hadn’t come with any set of instructions.

Starsky moved and cried out in his sleep. Hutch lost no time getting to his side. The dark-haired man thrashed about, muttering to himself and Hutch whispered how much he loved him and that he was safe, that everything was all right. Even he didn’t believe that, after what he’d just heard.

The surgery went well and X-rays were taken that showed his new leg was in place and there were no signs of his body rejecting it.

Everything had gotten so deadly serious, Hutch decided to play a trick on Starsky, since he was doing so much better. He started groping the nurses, much to Starsky’s embarrassment. He started patting them on the ass and, when he got no reaction, he unbuttoned one nurses blouse all of the way.

“Hutch, have you lost your mind? You don’t treat women like that.”

“I’ve seen you do it, what’s wrong with it?”

“I’m afraid they’ll complain and kick us out of here.”

“No, they won’t, they’re androids.”

“You mean like C3P0?”

“Yep, just like Star Wars, only they’re much prettier.”

“You mean that robots have been giving me sponge baths and getting me the bedpan and holding the urinal for me? Not to mention giving me my meds.”

“Oh, come on, Starsk, you’re no stranger to nurses. They took care of you for months after the Gunther shooting. I’ve even taken care of those jobs myself.”

“I know, it just seems eerie to have robots touching you in places you’d rather not be touched.”

Hutch smiled. “In other words, you’d rather have a young, nubile nurse help you than someone as impersonal as an android. That’s warped, Starsk.”

“Anyway, I think you’re bullshitting me.”

“Try it for yourself.”

Within a few minutes, one of the nurses came in to hang a new IV. She moved close to the bed to get his vitals and Starsky stuck his hand under her skirt and proceeded to take her vitals. He got a slap in the face and a scathing ass-chewing by the indignant woman when she left; Starsky looked bewildered at Hutch, who was having trouble keeping from falling off the chair.

“I guess I forgot to tell you that the head nurses are all too human.”

“Oh, you’re a laugh a minute, Hutchinson.”

The days passed and Starsky grew more and more anxious to get out. Hutch had described some of the sights to him and he wanted to see for himself. He didn’t remember anything about the night they brought him here. He was, of course especially interested in the cars, which ran on air.

His leg seemed to be doing well. Hutch had been banned from physical therapy, because he couldn’t stand to see the pain that Starsky was going through, and that was keeping his partner from doing what he had to do.

On the day that Starsky was scheduled to leave the hospital, he found a navy blue tuxedo waiting for him to put on. Not knowing what the people on the outside wore, he had to guess that this was the garb of the day, so he put it on. Hutch came and picked him up in the wheelchair once he was dressed and they headed for the hospital chapel, instead of the entrance. Starsky was curious, but didn’t say anything. Hutch left him with one of the hospital workers. He wasn’t sure whether this one was real or another ‘droid, so he didn’t attempt a conversation.

He heard organ music and the wheelchair began to move. As the door to the chapel was opened, Starsky saw many of the friends they’d made at the hospital were there and smiling at him. Then he saw Hutch on the platform with the hospital chaplain and knew what this was all about. There were flowers and candles, everything made beautiful for a wedding.

Starsky asked for the chair to be stopped. If the big Lug wanted to keep secrets, he had one, too. He rose from the wheelchair, and with steady steps, he walked the rest of the aisle on his own.

There were tears shining in Hutch’s eyes as he watched the man who was soon to become his spouse. He was so proud of him.

Starsky reached the platform and Hutch helped him the rest of the way up.

The blond hissed, “Why didn’t you tell me you were walking?”

Starsky looked up at him and said, “You didn’t ask, ya blond Blintz.”

“You sure did make me happy, Gordo, you knocked my socks off.”

“And you, with this little secret you’ve been keeping to yourself. There aren’t going to be any secrets between us anymore, are there?”

“I agree, just what we get each other for Christmas and birthdays.”

Starsky gave Hutch one of those thousand-watt grins.

When they were in place, the service started. It was very informal; the participants were free to say whatever they wanted.

Hutch spoke first. “David Starsky, I take you to be my lawfully wedded spouse. Even though we know that it won’t be recognized when we get home, we’ll know in our hearts that you’re mine and I’m yours. I endow you with my material possessions. I love you with all my heart and soul. I’ll always be true to you and will never fail to love you and live with you all the days of our lives.”

“Kenneth Hutchinson, I also take you as my wedded spouse. You’ve made me much of what I really am. You’ve stood by me in sickness, practically brought me back from the dead. I never want to lose you. I’ll love you and cherish you until my death. I’ll protect you with my life. You will also share my love, my life, as well as any possessions that I might own. That means the Torino is yours, too, now, baby-blue.”

Hutch chuckled. “I’ll go you one better, buddy, you also own the LTD.”

Starsky’s face fell. “I never thought about that.”

“The rings, please.”

“Rings, you have rings?”

“I had one of our few gold coins melted down and formed into two rings.”

Starsky smiled with tears in his eyes that threatened to run down his cheeks. “But how did you know my size?”

“I measured your finger one night when you were sleeping. See, I told you nothing could wake you up once you get to sleep.”

Hutch put the ring on Starsky’s finger and Starsky reciprocated.

“You may celebrate your union with a kiss.” They fell into each other’s arms and were locked together until the chaplain said, “Ahem,” indicating that the service was not over, and they broke apart, embarrassed.

“A member of our congregation has offered his cabin for a honeymoon. It’s very nice and fully stocked with food. He’s offered it to you for a week.”

Hutch glanced at Starsky and seeing the raw desire in his face, accepted the offer gratefully.

Starsky mumbled under his breath about the woods all the way there, but it turned out to be nothing like Dobey’s woodland paradise. It was huge and more like a farmhouse than a cabin. It had running water and a toilet, the first thing Starsky checked out. It had a big beautiful lake in front of it and comfortable chairs to watch the sunsets from on the wrap-around porch. There was also a porch swing with deep soft cushions. The inside had been decorated by an eclectic hand. There was much to see, from the Louis the fourteenth desk to an obviously modern display of wall hangings the caused Hutch to blush.

The master bedroom had a huge bathroom with shower, tub, and whirlpool. Hutch looked out the window and saw a big man-made swimming pool outside complete with a waterfall and fountain.

He mentioned this to Starsky, who shuddered and said wryly, “Yeah, it probably comes equipped with its own personal shark.”

The kitchen was a marvel and the pantry and fridge were indeed stocked with everything that they could want. The freezer was packed, also. There was a note on the kitchen table telling them they could use the car, if there was somewhere they wanted to go. Alongside the note was a map of the area.

“Starsk, these people have thought of everything! Starsk?”

Stepping into the garage, he saw his friend studying the car from all angles. Sitting on the garage floor, with no wheels, it didn’t look like much. “Can we ride in it, Hutch?”

“Not with you driving. You just got a new right leg and I want to be sure I stay alive.”

Starsky obligingly got into the passenger side, while Hutch started up the engine. The car rose to the same height as the Torino. Hutch hit the reverse button and the garage doors opened by themselves and they headed out. The car glided along, no bumps or shocks, sliding smoothly through traffic. They came upon a stalled car and Hutch pressed a lever on the steering wheel and the car went right over the inert vehicle.

“Geez, Hutch, how’d you learn to drive one of these?”

“I practiced with Tom’s car all those times you were in rehab.”

“I hope you know how to get us back where we started.”

“There’s no problem with that either. I can go on autopilot.”

“Auto…you’re kidding me, aren’t you?”

Hutch pushed a button and said, “Home, James,” and the car did a u-turn and headed back in the opposite direction.

“I can’t believe this, Hutch. I think we should stay here. This seems like the ideal society to live in.”

Hutch hated to lay on him what Tom had told him about the population problem.

Starsky’s face went white. “You mean old people and babies are just murdered?”

“They don’t see it that way, Starsk. They call it survival, because of overpopulation.”

“You’re agreeing with all this?”

“God, no, how can you even think that? I’m just telling you what their reasoning is.”

The car pulled into the driveway and the door opened to let them in.

Hutch asked Starsky how he felt and a big smile lit up his face. “Like I haven’t had sex for a long, long time.”

“I guess I can take care of that in a hurry.” He grabbed Starsky by the shirt and dragged him into the bedroom. Clothes flew right and left, and Hutch pushed Starsky so that he fell back on the bed.

Before the man could even protest, Hutch was on top of him and kissing him, licking his neck and making little bite marks there.

“Whoa, Romeo, this isn’t a race. I’d like to enjoy it, too, if you don’t mind.”

“I’m sorry, lover; it’s just been so long.”

“I know, believe me, I know, and I’m very flattered, but can we slow this down, just a bit. I want it to be good for both of us.”

“I wonder if they’ve got any grease.”

“Watch it, babe, you remember what happened the last time you asked that.” Starsky started to laugh all over again at the sight of Hutch in his mind.

“Hey, I told you never to mention that again. Now you’ve done it.”

He went to the kitchen and came back with some Crisco. Starsky was holding a tube of lubricant.

“Where did that come from?”

“The nightstand.”

Hutch grabbed it and laid it on the bed, putting the Crisco aside.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this? Just getting out of the hospital, I mean.”

“Blondie, if I was anymore ready, I’d implode. As it is, I don’t think it’ll take much. The only thing I can’t do is get up on my knees.”

Hutch’s open mouth descended on his and stifled any other words. Starsky nipped lightly at his lips and ran his fingers through the blond hair. He rained kisses up and down the body he adored. Finally, he reached his destination and licked Starsky’s cock, then pulled the raging erection into his mouth and sucked, pulling more and more into his mouth until he was almost gagging on it. It didn’t take long and Starsky yelled his name as he came.

Hutch wasted no time in getting Starsky ready and pushing into the portal that awaited him. He balanced the other man on his knees and pumped a few times and with a supreme push that Starsky thought must have reached up and touched his stomach, he came. Starsky discovered that he had been ready too, and reached even greater heights than the first time.

They both pulled the quilt over them and rested. They had a week before they had to leave and no one to bother them. This was heaven on earth.

“Well, Hutch, have you decided yet what to do? We only have one more day to stay here and if I’m only gonna live a couple more years my vote is to get the hell out of here.”

Hutch had spent the better part of the week studying the time machine. But it was hopeless. He could see no way to open it as there were no vulnerable seams. It was solid and made of a metal he’d never seen before.

“Yeah, Starsky, it’s been nice here.” Hutch blushed, remembering some of the more athletic things they’d been doing. All in all, they were rested and ready to tackle a new challenge. Hutch had gotten together some of the things they might need again, so there was no use in lingering.

Hutch looked sharply at Starsky. “Do you have underwear on this time?”

Starsky flashed an evil grin. “Want to check me out, Ma?”

“Thank you for the offer, but I now know what the word insatiable means. I can barely walk and you’re still primed and ready.”

“I was a Boy Scout and their motto is be prepared.” He gave Hutch the Boy Scout salute and Hutch reciprocated with a one-finger salute of his own.

They were sitting on the deck of the house overlooking the Pacific.

“You know, Hutch, it’s hard to believe that they’ve come so far in so many things, but they don’t have a clue when it comes to love and compassion.”

“I know, babe, it would be a great place to live if it wasn’t for that.”

“Then shall we go?”

“I think I’m ready.”

Starsky stayed glued to Hutch’s arm as he manipulated the disk. The last thing they needed was to become separated.

Hutch turned the dial and they leaped.

Each leap had been disorienting. It took awhile for them to even be able to speak.

“Where are we, Hutch?”

“Looks to me like we’re in the woods.”

“I could have figured that out by myself. I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks.”

They were indeed in a dark forest. The trees made a canopy above them and there was no sky, just little streamers of light coming through here and there.

“Starsk, I’m getting a little edgy. The last trip made me think, ‘what if one of us loses this watchamacallit.’ If somebody gets his or her hands on it and we can’t get it back, we’re in deep shit!”

“In my opinion, we already are and so far, the manure is over the tops of my shoes. How come you get away without soiling the tip of your boots?”

“It’s not my fault that people can see the leadership qualities in me. That’s just the natural pecking order.”

“I don’t see what your pecker’s got to do with anything. If it did, you’d probably lose. You always say ‘Oh, Starsk, it’s so big.'” He spoke in a falsetto voice that made Hutch chuckle.

“Remind me why we’re having this discussion?”

“Well, I said.”

“Never mind, Smartass, I think these leaps are warping your brain. Just sit down on that rock and be quiet while I try to figure out what to do with this. I’m going to find a place to hide it, so we don’t get caught with it.”

There was a huge outcropping of rock where they came out of the forest. Hutch figured it could be seen from far away. He took out the compass he’d brought with him and tried to get his bearings so that they would be able to get back to the right place. There was a tree that seemed to be growing out and around the rock.

“What do you think of that rock?”

“That’s Bald Rock, kind of a landmark around here; we used to come down here to visit one of my cousins when I was a kid. We used to come here and climb this rock.”

“When you saw that I was trying to figure out a place to hide this thing, why didn’t you mention that?”

“Cause you told me to sit down and be quiet. God forbid that I should not do just every little thing you tell me to do. I remember one time we almost got blown up because you were so busy figuring how much air we had left. I got us out of that one, didn’t I?”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I won’t underestimate you again. Since you know so much, what state are we in?”

“Virginia, at least it was the last time I was here. This could be past, present or future. How do I know?”

Digging around in the roots by the tree, Hutch found a good place to hide the time machine. “Okay, this is Virginia, near what town?”

“Appomattox was the nearest town of any size then.”

“Okay, Appomattox, it is.

They started to hear the gunfire in the distance and were startled to see a group of men running out of the woods. Dirty, dressed in whatever had become of their uniforms, it was clear that they were soldiers. They surrounded Starsky and Hutch and demanded to know what company they were from.

Without thinking, Starsky growled, “What’s it to you?”

“By God, you’re a dirty Yank! Let’s kill ’em, boys!”

Hutch had put two and two together by now, and Starsky was shocked to hear him respond in a southern drawl.

“Nah, this man’s my prisoner, I’m taking him back to the camp.” Hutch hoped there was one nearby. “I think I got kind of turned around.”

“Come with us, we’re headed back there now. We’ll drag this damn Yankee along with us.” His fist shot out and he slammed Starsky right in the nose.

Starsky went down and the man kicked him in the side as the others started to rain blows down on the dark-haired man’s curled-up body.

“Stop!” Hutch yelled. “This man is my prisoner. You don’t have any right to hurt him. He’s mine.”

Hutch dealt Starsky a blow to the abdomen just to prove his point. As he hauled his partner up, he whispered, “Play along and maybe we can get out of this in one piece. You’re a Yankee and I’m a Rebel and we’ve landed right in the middle of the Civil War. I guess I should say we’re at the end of the war. Try not to talk or draw attention to yourself.”

Starsky’s eyes were glazed over from the pounding he’d gotten and the shock of Hutch hitting him, too. He hadn’t expected that. But Hutch pushed him along trying to keep up with the other soldiers who were moving swiftly and silently through the woodland area.

Soon they heard the roar of a great crowd of men. Disheveled, disorganized, starving to death and not knowing what to believe, was the bulk of the Confederate army.

Hutch flinched to see how they’d come from a grand and glorious army to the pathetic group of men that were left. Most of them wore whatever they could find along the way instead of the smart gray uniforms with the red sashes and hats with gold braid that they’d started with. He felt sorry for them.

True, their cause was wrong and many of them were fighting for the wrong reason, but you could see the dull eyes and bloody wounds and the graves of the dead just outside the camp. For all of his and Starsky’s bantering about slavery, this hit them in the face and hit them hard. There was even a large company of blacks fighting right alongside the Rebels, fighting against their own freedom. It was wrong; never should a person have to submit to the wants of another person unwillingly.

“Hutch, we’re in some serious trouble.”

“You got that right, buddy. These men are being driven toward Appomattox, where the last battle of the war was fought. They have a Yankee division ahead of them and one behind them. A lot of them had deserted by now, so this must be the main contingent of Confederate soldiers, heading for Appomattox.”

“You stay wherever they put you or you’re going to end up in Andersonville.”

“What’s at Andersonville?”

“It’s where the confederates held their union soldiers prisoner. Most of them died of starvation. The Rebels didn’t even have enough for themselves, let alone their prisoners.”

“Geez, babe, they look like they’d consider cooking and eating me for dinner.”

“Nah, you’d be too stringy, you’re too old for cooking.”

“And I’m only five months older than you are, hot shot, so don’t go into that.”

So far they’d been left alone. Then one of the officers came to take them to a tent a little bigger than the others. They stepped in and came face to face with a man who looked no more evil than Santa Claus. Yet the man was introduced to them as Robert E. Lee, the general of the Confederate army. Soft-spoken and pleasant, it was easy to see him in the role of grandpa, with several kids around him. They could see the strain the years of war had put on his face, though. He knew the end was near and that there was no possible way they could win it.

He honed in on Starsky immediately and started asking questions like where he’d been and what he’d seen, trying to figure out what the union army was going to do next. He was kind but stern, and once he seemed convinced that Starsky knew nothing he dismissed them, telling Hutch to take Starsky over to the prisoner’s compound.

“To think that even in the future’s perfect society, they’re still plundering and looting and killing! There doesn’t seem to be much hope for mankind, does there?” Starsky said softly.

“Babe, humans are always going to be human, no matter what you do.” He ducked behind a tent and took Starsky in his arms, holding him close and safe. “Remember, we got into this to make the world better and judging from the future better became a nightmare.”

“But we’ve got us, nothing’s wrong with me and thee, is there?”

“Nope nothing wrong here.”

“How about we just get away now, get out of here and leap before all the trouble starts?”

“We marched a long ways today, Starsk, it wouldn’t hurt for both of us to get a little rest.”

“Okay, I’m counting on you, Hutch.” They shared a deep, lingering kiss and Hutch headed for the tents to find a place to sleep.

In the middle of the night the watchmen heard the Union soldiers marching their way. A confederate soldier Hutch had made a connection with, yelled, “Come on, man, we’ve gotta go. The Yankees are on our tail.” He grabbed hold of Hutch, and pushing his boots toward him, waited until he had them on. He thrust a rifle in his hands, grabbed him and propelled him in the opposite direction from where he wanted to go. They were moving South.

Hutch knew that General Sherman had marched to the sea and then turned and started north, while Grant approached from the north and they had caught the Confederate army between them. Now he was going to have to leave Starsky behind with no way to defend himself, and he was going into a battle for something he didn’t believe in. He saw Starsky at the fence as he was being literally dragged along, and gave him a “thumbs up” sign.

As he saw Hutch being shoved further and further away, Starsky felt fear like he’d never felt before, and there was literally nothing he could do. There was no one left to guard the prisoners and no way of getting out of the compound where the captured were housed. All he had to think about was that Hutch could be fighting for his life out there.

The lack of food and water sapped his strength, and he was sure he was hallucinating by the time he heard a cheer go up and realized that there were Union soldiers all around the cages they were being held in. Some of them spoke gently to the prisoners while others seemed to find it an onerous task and just wanted to get it over with. The Yankee who let him out told him the war was over and they were free to go home. He recognized Starsky’s accent and started babbling about going home to his wife and children.

Am I going home and will Hutch be going home with me? Starsky thought.

There were a few horses that had been left by the Rebels. Starsky had a shoving match with another soldier, but he overpowered the man with his street fighting abilities. He threw himself in the saddle and raced back the way the union soldiers had come from. It turned out to be twenty miles or so and when he came out of the woods, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His heart came up in his throat and shivers went up his spine. He had been in Nam and had seen his share of battlefields, but nothing prepared him for the carnage he saw before him. Literally hundreds of men lay dead–most lying atop each other in bloody piles. There were many wounded, some too badly to be saved.

Starsky got off the horse and leading him around, looked everywhere for the bright-colored head of his partner. With a sinking heart, he approached the field hospital. There was just no way to look at all the bodies. Maybe he could ask questions there.

Starsky went up and down each row looking at injuries so horrible and grotesque he had to turn away in some cases. There was the reek of dead and dying everywhere. He vowed that when he got home he would never again complain at the smell of one body.

They saw each other at the same time. Hutch had been trained as a med student, which far surpassed what the doctors there had, and was trying to convince them that if kept antiseptically clean, some of the arms and legs that were being chopped off left and right might be saved.

As they met, Starsky put his arms around his lover and held on just as tight as he could. Hutch had blood all over him and a bloody basin in his hands and it flew all over both men, but neither cared.

Hutch asked if the machine was still where they had left it and Starsky nodded his head. He was too overwhelmed to speak.

Hutch threw off the bloody apron he’d been given then grabbed two shirts and two pairs of pants from a stack of Union clothing. With a final look around, he climbed atop the horse, then pulled Starsky up behind him. After a brief moment, they rode out, leaving the camp behind.

“What took you so long?” Hutch asked.

Starsky chuckled and said, “I stopped for some brandy and a good cigar in the officer’s tent. Okay?”

It was a long ride and the horse was winded by the time they arrived at the site where they’d put the little disk. Hutch retrieved it as Starsky gave the horse a slap on its flank to send it back in the direction where it would be found.

They changed their clothes and were ready to go when Starsky grabbed his lover and pressed his body to him.

“Hutch, let’s make sure we don’t get separated again, okay?”

“Sounds good to me. Gordo,” Hutch said, relishing in the comfort of the only two arms he ever wanted around him. “Let’s do it.”

“But, Hutch, do you think we’ve got time? With all these soldiers around us, we could get caught. That would be embarrassing and dangerous.”

Hutch put his mouth over his partner’s and gave him a kiss that made him care less about the soldiers.

“I was talking about leaping not loving, motor mouth.” He activated the disk.

After the disorientation wore off, they found themselves in a big city.

Starsky stared at the skyline for a while then yelled, “Hutch, I know where we are. This is Brooklyn.” And then realizing the ramifications of what could be, he asked a young boy what year and date it was.

The boy, who considered them escapees from Bellevue, edged away from them, but yelled back, “It’s the sixth of April, 1956.”

Hutch was worried about his friend. He made Starsky sit down on the curb then sat beside him. He sensed the dark-haired member of the team needed some time to understand what he’d just heard, whatever it meant.

“Hutch, did he say April sixth of 1956?”

“That’s what he said. What’s wrong, babe?”

“Hutch, my dad was killed on April eighth of 1956. Babe, that means he’s still alive and maybe I can save him.”

Hutch put his arms down on his bent knees, dejection written all over his face.

“Blondie, what’s wrong? Are you all right?”

“Babe, I want like hell for you to save your father, but if you do, that could mean we’ll never meet and I’m scared to death at the very thought of that.”

Deep in thought, the two men sat there on the curb for a while.

Hutch was the first to speak. “Starsk, you have to save him, you’ve got no choice.”

“How will it affect us, though? You’ll have to go back, Hutch. And if we’re here, babe, we can’t be back there, too. So that would mean there never was a David Starsky.”

“Damn, what a mess. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, that’s refreshing; the ‘one man think tank’ doesn’t have a clue. This is almost worth paying admission for.”

“Starsky, doesn’t your balloon ever land? Do you fully understand what kind of position we’re in here? Do you have any idea what the ramifications are?”

“No, but I know what those big words do to me, so you better not go over two syllables, or I’ll do ya right here in the street.”

“I’ll do ya? Gee, I can hardly wait; you make it sound so inviting. Let’s go, buddy, come on. Let’s see you do me right here and now.”

“Um, Geez, Hutch, this is my old neighborhood. I wouldn’t want; I mean it’d look like…I’m gay.”

“And what are you?”

“I’m just a guy who fell in love with the wrong…”

He saw the hurt cut deep through his lover’s eyes right down to the heart that he knew belonged only to him, but he couldn’t take the words back.

“Hutch, baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”

“The truth comes out in moments like this, doesn’t it? I’m going to find some park bench to sit on and you can do your business.”

Starsky caught Hutch’s face between his hands. “Love, please, don’t do this. I need you standing tall beside me, to decide what to do.”

“But you need me as a friend, not as a lover. You see, Starsk, I can’t separate the two.” He turned and walked off. It was April and a warm day, so Starsky let him go.

He had a damn hard decision to make. He had to choose between his father and his lover. He reasoned that if his father lived, the thugs would probably get to him eventually, but he was handing down a death sentence against his father if he just let things be. He’d never meet Hutch, his soul mate for life, if his father wasn’t killed. But if he walked up to Michael Starsky and told him that he was going to die in two days, the man would probably laugh in his face. There was a very strong family resemblance, but the Starsky men all seemed to share it.

So, what would he do? He’d already cut Hutch to the quick. Could he do anymore damage?

He turned back toward the park, but Hutch wasn’t there. He searched all over and couldn’t find his partner. Suddenly, it all came together. Hutch was trying to make it easy to decide. He would go into hiding and Starsk would never find him.

He walked in the direction of the tabernacle, hoping to find some peace there. There were a few men and women lost in their own thoughts, as he was. He sat down to pray and felt a hand touch his shoulder. He looked and saw his mother standing there.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were my husband but now I can see you’re younger that he is. You seem troubled. I there anything I can do for you?”

He wanted to just lay his head on her shoulder and tell him who he was and the difficult future she would have if things went according to the fates. But he couldn’t. He was left entirely alone to fight this battle for himself.

“Why don’t you celebrate the Seder with us tonight? Michael would love to meet you. You are the true image of him fifteen years ago.”

He couldn’t deny himself. The yearning of seeing his whole family and spending the evening with them was just too strong. “I’d love to, M…Mrs…?”

“Starsky,” she said with a smile that made her son want to grab her and kiss her.

She gave him the address and they parted company.

Starsky went looking for Hutch. He had to find him in the next two days or it would all be too late. Hutch had the time machine. He was capable of leaping and leaving his partner behind. Tears welled up in Starsky’s eyes.

He shouted to the heavens, “How could you do this to me!” He didn’t know whether it was God or Hutch he was shouting at, but the passersby on the sidewalk gave him a wide berth.

He reached the Starsky home with trepidation, but he also was anxious to see how much his father had changed and his little brother Nicky. Just being in the house gave him a sense of well being, then he recalled what was going to happen in a couple of days, and he lost any enjoyment that he had in celebrating the Seder.

His father grilled him endlessly, wanting to know where he was from and what line of work he was in, why he was in town. He told them the truth as far as he could get away with it, and the meal proceeded well. He ate as if he were starving, enjoying the taste, the smells and the downright feeling of being home.

He walked around the house, looking at pictures he remembered and some he’s never seen before. One of the pictures was of him around the time of his father’s death. He questioned about the little boy and was told that it was their Davy, who’d been killed playing near a train track at the age of eight. His mother had tears in her eyes as she talked about how good a child he was, while Nicky had grown up a wild and difficult man.

Starsky could not help thinking his father looked so tired and worn. He was doing double shifts at the precinct and was feeling the strain. Starsky couldn’t help but feel it was just a matter of time before he succumbed to a heart attack. Starsky had to find Hutch, so they could leap. He wanted to leave before it happened. He combed the city seeking out all the flophouses and abandoned buildings, but there was no sign of him. It was as if he’d vanished off the face of the earth. Perhaps he had leaped without Starsky, giving him his father back again.

The afternoon of the eighth, Starsky was there. He knew what time it would happen. He wanted to be there. But he’d made up his mind. His all-consuming love for Hutch could never die. He prayed that Hutch would come to see what happened.

He saw it happen in slow motion. Then there were comforting hands, and arms around him, turning him around, protecting him from the noise of the guns and the squeal of the car, pressing Starsky’s head into Hutch’s broad shoulder, so he would be shielded from the worst of it. When the car was gone, he ran over to his father. The man was still alive, but just barely.

He looked up at the two men leaning over him. “David? How can this be?”

“Just rest assured that I’ll take care of mom and Nicky.” Then the hardest thing for some fathers and sons to say. “I love you, pop.”

“And you too, son.” He put his hand on Starsky’s head, giving him the blessing that belonged to the oldest son. “I don’t know what’s happening here.”

“Never mind, pop, just rest. They’ll explain it to you when you get up there.”

“And who is this?” He’d finally noticed Hutch.

“Only the best partner a cop ever had, Pop.”

The man was losing his battle, but he said, “Take care of each other,” and he died.

Hutch got the stumbling man away from the scene, and held him until the ragged heaving and sobbing was over and nothing but tears left in his eyes. Hutch wiped them away with his handkerchief and held him for a long time.

“Hey, buddy, we’re getting funny looks,” and Hutch growled, “Haven’t you ever seen a man who’s father just passed away?” At the forcefulness in the man’s tone, they scurried away like rats.

“You feel like getting out of here, partner?”

“Never felt more like moving out!”

“Maybe this was supposed to happen, maybe it will give me closure.”

“You’ve been reading that weird stuff again. The only thing that’ll bring us closure is getting the hell out of here.”

“I’m with you, Hutch, all the way,”

There were unceremoniously plopped down on the deck of a huge vessel and Starsky had to run to the rail again. He walked back rather unsteadily, and Hutch made him sit down in one of the deck chairs that were lined up against the wall.

“I want to know what that damn thing’s got against me? Everywhere we go, I’m a slave or seasick or scared of heights.”

“I know you don’t like to fly and we haven’t been that route yet, have we?”

“That’ll probably be next, and I’ll be the pilot. Maybe we should just stay here for awhile, Hutch, it’s a really nice boat.”

“I think that vessels of this size are usually called ships, Starsk. It is a beauty, though.”

“If we sleep downstairs, maybe they’ll let us stay, huh?”

“There isn’t a downstairs in a boat, moron, there’s different decks and at the bottom is a hold.”

“Well, what does it?”

“What does it what?”

“Hold?”

“Starsk, right now, I’ve got to get away from you, ’cause I’m beginning to feel like I’m in an Abbott and Costello movie.”

“Okay, I’m leaving, I just gotta know one thing.”

“There’s a bathroom on every deck. You just have to ask.”

“No, it’s not that.” He pointed at the life preserver with the name of the ship on it. “Isn’t that the name of the boat that hit an iceberg and sank?”

Hutch stared at the name that filled his heart with fear. He blinked, praying it would be gone, but the life preserver still said TITANIC in big letters that he knew were not going away. “Sweet jeezus, Starsk, we’ve got to find out the date. The Titanic went down in the spring of 1912, but I don’t remember the date.”

It was very early in the morning; there was no one around to ask. They started in the common rooms; the lounge, the gaming rooms. All of these were locked up tight. Finally, on the promenade deck, they discovered a list of activities for the day. At the top of the list was the date, April 14th.

“That’s it,” Hutch said sadly. “I might be wrong, but that date sticks in my mind for some reason. We’d better get out of here.” He pulled the disk out of his pocket.

“When did it happen, Hutch, can’t we do something to stop it? I can’t just leave all these people here knowin’ that they’re going to die.”

“It happened at night, right around midnight, Starsk. The whole ship sank within a couple hours.”

“Can’t we just warn them at least? Tell them they’re gonna hit an iceberg if they stay on this course.”

“Do you really think they’re going to believe that we’re from the future in the first place? And then swallow the story that we popped up on exactly the day that this ship is about to sink? Would you believe it?”

“It’s the truth, babe.”

“I know, but would you believe it?”

“No,” Starsky said dejectedly. “But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try.”

Hutch ruffled his lover’s hair and gave him a hug. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

“If it’s anything like I feel for you, yeah, I know. I sure wish we had a home again, a place where we could be alone, you know?”

“I know all too well. Okay, let’s find the captain of this damned ship and tell him what we know.”

“It is, isn’t it, Hutch?”

“What?”

“You called it a damned ship. It gave me the willies.” Starsky had to make another trip to the rail.

Hutch pulled out a handkerchief for him to wipe his mouth with. Then he pulled Starsky back against him, enclosed in his arms. He knew his friend and the grief something like this caused him, so he tried to defuse the situation.

“Hey, Starsk?”

“Yeah?”

“I always fantasized about being on a cruise ship like this with a gorgeous brunet in my arms. I never dreamed it would be you. And that you would be barfin’ all over the place.”

“Aw, you say the sweetest things. Want a kiss?”

“I’ll pass this time, but I want a rain check on that, anytime or anywhere.”

“I know I’ll regret this, but okay.”

“All right, are you done hanging over the railing there?”

“For the moment. Unless something else comes up.”

“Cute, Starsk. Then let’s find whoever’s in charge and see if they throw us in the brig. Then we would be screwed.”

“Do you think they can dodge the iceberg, Hutch?”

“The way I understand it, Starsk, is that the iceberg didn’t cause the entire problem. They would have been all right if they hadn’t used a type of steel in the hull. It became brittle in the ice-cold water and fractured almost immediately. The ship was also traveling too fast for the lookout to be aware of it in time.”

They rounded the side and ran into the one of the pursers, startling all of them and knocking the disk out of Hutch’s hand, where it went rolling out of sight, heading in the direction of the rail.

Both Starsky and Hutch made a dive for it, but the elusive little gizmo was gone, over the side of the ship. They both leaned over to see where it landed, but they weren’t quick enough.

The ship was cruising at its top speed, almost 21 knots. They both knew it was no use diving for it, and that without it, they were as good as dead.

The purser had gone on, looking askance at their odd-looking clothing.

Starsky got a tender look on his face. “Hutch, I guess this is going to be our last leap. At least we’ll always be together.”

“I always dreaded the day one of us would be left behind. I guess it’s better this way.”

They held each other tight for a while until people started moving around the ship, on their way to breakfast or a brisk walk on the promenade deck. The purser silently appeared at their side.

“Sirs, the Captain would like to see you right away, please. I’ll take you to him.”

They circumvented the corridors until they were totally lost.

Eventually they got to the Captain’s cabin and when they entered, they could see that no luxury had been forgotten in the planning of this suite of rooms.

“Captain Smith, these are the men I spoke to you about.”

“Thank you, that will be all, Charles.”

Captain Edgar J. Smith, the nameplate on the desk read. Hutch remembered that Captain Smith had done the thing that was expected of a ship’s captain. He’d gone down with his ship. He felt sorrow that this man would be dead in less than a day.

“Could I have your names, please?” he asked them.

They saw no reason not to tell him, and gave their real names.

He scanned the passenger list. “I see you’re not listed, even in steerage. We checked everywhere possible for stowaways. How did you get in?” The sharp eyes the color of the sea seemed to be checking them out very thoroughly.

“You won’t believe us if we tell you, sir.” Starsky said.

“Why don’t you let me decide that, Mr. Starsky?”

“We are, were Detective Sergeants in Bay City in 1983. We found what seems to be a disk, a time machine, which has taken us to several places with the turn of the dials. This morning, it dumped us here. We have something very important to tell you.”

“Mr. Starsky, I can hardly believe that the Bay City Police Force would allow its officers to run around in clothing fit for bums on the street.”

“We didn’t start out like this. We lost our clothing along the way and this is all we have.”

Hutch was impatient with the man and protested. “Would you just listen to what we have to tell you for a minute?”

The Captain looked at the Seth Thomas Regulator clock on his wall. “That’s precisely how much time I’ll give you, one minute, starting now.”

“We have information concerning this ship. At around midnight tonight, it’s going to hit an iceberg and within three hours will be at the bottom of the North Atlantic Ocean. You don’t have anywhere near enough lifeboats for the number of people who are on this ship. So…unless something is done, over fifteen hundred people are going to die!”

“Is that all,” he looked down at the list of passengers where he’d written their names down at the bottom of the list, “Mr. Hutchinson?”

“I knew you wouldn’t believe a word of it, and now we’ve lost the disk, so we’re doomed to the same fate as you are.”

“Did you really think you could ingratiate yourselves to me in this manner? Since you’re here, though, I’ll have to think of some way for you to work off your passage.”

Starsky, in his desperation, got right in the Captain’s face, “There’s not going to be any passage after tonight, you prick, we’re all going to be dead!”

Hutch grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back. “It’s no use, Starsk. He wouldn’t believe us if it were tattooed on our foreheads.”

“Since you’re so concerned about the lifeboats, I could use some help there. We’re advised to do an inspection on them every couple days. We haven’t, because the ship is, of course, unsinkable. But we’ll issue you some work uniforms and you can check them out against this list of requirements.”

“Why, you pompous windbag! Don’t you understand people are going to die here, you, you’re going to go down with this ship. This is your last day on this earth.”

“Starsk let it go. We’ll do what you want, Captain, it’s better than sitting around waiting to die.”

Captain Smith gave them the checklist and they started to leave his office. “Mr. Hutchinson, it’s very crowded in steerage, but I think you can find enough room there to sleep. We have extra blankets.”

“Never mind, it’s the last day of my life; too, I’d just as soon be awake for it.”

“That goes for me, too,” Starsky echoed.

They took the list and got their uniforms. They were at least warmer than what they’d had on. They started on the first lifeboat. At the beginning of every check, they had to use the hoist that brought the boat up. It was evident that they’d been neglectful in the care of the boats. Some of the covers weren’t tied down tightly; some of them were half open. They’d gone halfway around the huge vessel when they came upon one that was very loose, the wind having ripped it away almost entirely.

“How could they have let this happen, Hutch?”

“They all thought that the ship was unsinkable. The hull had many separate compartments. If they hit something, they figured some would hold the ship afloat, but they didn’t reckon on the strength of the steel.”

“I’m sure glad you knew all this stuff. It’s reassuring to know why you’re going to die.”

“Starsk, Starsk. Look over there! It’s the disk. It landed in one of the lifeboats. We must have a guardian angel, babe.”

Starsky still looked sad. “Yeah, we can save ourselves, but what about all these people? Hutch. They’re still going to die.”

“We did all we could, Lover. Don’t be sad. Let’s go now, so we don’t have to see it.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget this, Hutch.”

“Hey, you still have me.”

Starsky flashed a grin that was a little bit short of his usual thousand watts. “Now you’ve really got me depressed.”

“You ready to go?”

“Wait a minute, Hutch. Did they ever recover the passenger list?”

“I don’t know, babe. Why do you ask?”

“‘Cause our names are going to be on it.”

“You’re right. What a trip.”

“Now, let’s go before something else happens. At least we got some warmer clothes out of it.”

Hutch turned the dial.

They were glad to have the warm clothing on, but it soon became apparent that it was insufficient to keep them warm enough to survive. They would have to find some shelter, which seemed unlikely. The area they were in looked to be largely unpopulated. There was snow on the ground and more was falling.

Their only chance was to start walking in one direction and hope that they came across a town or some kind of settlement before they froze to death.

A huge bear that suddenly appeared in front of them out of the snowstorm startled them. Hutch backed up and Starsky, who was following him, sat down hard in the snow. The bear made a chuckling sound and held out his hand.

He’d pulled his glove off and they could see that it was a man, a big man, but he seemed to be very jovial. He spoke in a language Starsky couldn’t understand, but he motioned for them to follow him and led them to a small house and made the universal sign of welcome. It took awhile for their eyes to adjust to the darkness of only candles and oil lamps. When they did, they saw a young woman, with two children, one of them a baby. The house seemed to be built of mostly rock or stone and roofed with sod, which created an earthy, but not unpleasant smell.

Surprisingly, Starsky found that his partner was able to converse with this young giant, who actually resembled Hutch with his fair hair and skin, although this man had a lot more hair. Starsky started wondering if he had more body hair than Hutch, too, but decided that that way led to trouble and gave up thinking.

“Okay, babe, what’s the deal here? Do we have to slay dragons or fight a two-headed giant. I’m getting jet lag, big time. And how can you speak with this guy?” Starsky’s blood pressure was rising rapidly after the last ordeal.

“You know I’m of Scandinavian descent. This area is where my ancestors came from. Not this village, necessarily, but Denmark in general.”

“So no dragons or two-headed giants?”

“Nope, Starsk, you’re safe there.”

“Thank God in Heaven. I need some rest and relaxation.”

“Well, it may have to wait, because Leif over there says the lookouts have sighted a Viking ship and they’re up to no good.”

“Vikings, now? Hutch, when we get home, I gotta have a vacation.”

“Why, I’ve done all the hard work. You’re just along for the ride.”

Hutch started ruffling his friend’s hair and eventually, the two kids and Leif joined in and there was a real tussling match. The baby, Tasha seemed fascinated with Starsky and followed him wherever he went. She woke him up in the morning pulling his hair and patting his face. He scooped her up in his arms when she started to get cranky and deposited her in her mother’s lap. “She’s in need of something I can’t give her, I’m afraid.”

The woman immediately pulled out her breast and the baby grabbed hold, causing Starsky to turn bright red.

Hutch happened to come in right then and seeing Starsky’s discomfiture, twisted the knife a little deeper. “Isn’t it amazing that those things come in all sizes, buddy?”

Starsky decided it was time for a run to the outhouse.

Hutch laughed as he watched Starsky hop through the snow with his bare feet.

The dark-haired man turned and gave Hutch the finger. The blond charged out into the icy cold and catching Starsky unawares, rubbed his face in the snow. That, of course, brought retaliation and, Starsky, being without shoes, gave in first. They were a soggy mess when they finally came back into the house.

When Leif came home from the governing council, which they called oddly enough, “A Thing,” he was full of news about the Viking raid. They’d landed on the north shore and were working their way systematically through the villages, pillaging and looting as they came closer. They had no respect for the women either, raping and killing the women with child and even the children, they laughed at the idea of cutting their heads off and displaying them on gateposts.

Often a warrior would find a woman that he fancied and carry her off with him, regardless if she was promised or wed. Hutch was beginning to see where the Viking strain came into his makeup. He could be cool as ice one minute and the other, ready to do battle.

The men of the village sent their womenfolk to the main council room, to hide in the event they were unable to drive them back. It wasn’t likely that they could prevail, but they had to try…

Starsky crowded in with the others in the lookout tower and whispered to Hutch. “Boy, I can understand why Shakespeare wrote there was something rotten in the state of Denmark. Don’t these people ever bathe?”

“I’d like to see you go out there and break the ice away and dive in, buddy, bet you would be coming back out like you were shot from a cannon.”

“Nay, I’m tough. I can take it.”

“When this is all over, I’m carrying you over there and dumping you in myself.”

“Think you’re man enough?”

“Oh yeah, I can beat you on your best day.”

“I’m holding you to that now, Hutch.”

“I’ll be waiting, babe.”

“You know, Starsk, I’m a Viking, too, and I’m not getting what I want from you lately. What do you say we take a moonlit stroll and make use of the barn, I don’t think the animals would mind.”

“I don’t know about that, the last barn adventure didn’t turn out so well for you, did it?” Starsky started laughing at the recollection of his partner immersing himself in the horse trough.

“I snuck some of the whale blubber they use for grease earlier.”

Starsky sobered up fast. “You can’t mean to put whale blubber in or around my body. I won’t allow it!”

Hutch caught a glimpse of a sawhorse with a saddle on it. “Let’s see how you feel if you’re bent across that saddle over there,” said Hutch with an evil look on his face.

“I’m warning you, Hutch, damn it.”

In the end, finesse won over brute strength and Starsky found himself upended over the saddle. “I’m gonna remember this, Hutch, for a long, long time.’

“I’ll bet you will partner, we’re going to be riding horses tomorrow, remember?”

“You know sometimes I think you and I aren’t compatible.”

“If we were any more compatible, babe, we’d be Siamese twins.”

Hutch hurriedly prepared himself and his partner and, in one smooth motion lunged into his friend.

For all that Starsky had bitched before, he was sure humming now. It came to a roaring conclusion for both of them a short time later.

“You okay, babe?”

“If you call getting a baseball ball shoved up my rear end, I guess I’ll live.”

“I’ll get you something to clean up with.”

The only water available in the barn was frozen, so Hutch broke the top of it and found a rag to soak in it.

“Cripes, Hutch, that’s ice cold.”

“Well, they don’t exactly have running water here, you know.”

“Let’s just sleep out here tonight, so I can hold you, okay. One of us could die in battle tomorrow, you know.”

Hutch found a couple blankets and the heat from the animals below warmed the frigid air.

“If something happens, Hutch, I want you to find someone else, okay?”

“Starsky, if something happens to you, I’ll probably just end up eating my gun.”

“No way. Promise me. You find someone to love and make little Hutchinsons all over the place. That’ll make me happy.”

“What makes you think it’ll be a woman, Starsk?”

“Cause you’re not gay and neither am I. We were soul mates, destined to be together. There’s got to be another soul mate out there for you, Hutch.”

They fell asleep with Starsky’s head on Hutch’s chest and woke up to the sound of screaming and havoc in the village.

“This is it, babe, I love you, more than you’ll ever know. If these weren’t my people, I’d get us out of here, but I have to do this.”

“S’okay, Hutch, I never thought I could love someone so much.”

They headed down the ladder with Starsky in the lead and ran right into a Viking warrior out for blood. He speared Starsky and was headed for Hutch, before Leif struck him down from behind with his sword.

Hearing Starsky’s anguished cry, Hutch immediately ran to him and dragged him back away from the action. Another Viking warrior was wrestling with Leif. Hutch pulled the disk from his pocket and in his hurry, turned it so that all the dials were in a row.

Immediately, they were in the corridor of Bay City’s Memorial Hospital. Doctors and nurses came running with a gurney. Starsky had a spear in his side, so they had to be careful of the way they placed him on it. They rushed him into the emergency room.

Fifteen minutes later, they came out to tell Hutch that they were taking Starsky up to surgery to have the spear removed. The doctors thought that no permanent damage had been done, but they couldn’t be sure until they got in there.

Relieved, Hutch got the police dispatcher on the phone and asked her to inform Captain Dobey where they were. She warned him that he would be out for blood.

As it was, Hutch could hear Dobey as soon as he hit the door of the hospital.

“Where is he?” Dobey bellowed.

When they came face-to-face, Hutch could see that his Captain looked ill. He’d lost weight and it looked like he’d aged five years.

“What’s the story, Hutchinson?”

“Sir?”

“Where the hell have you been the last three weeks, for God’s sake?”

Hutch was startled, because Dobey didn’t usually resort to language like this. He was speechless for a minute, unsure of how he could answer the question. He didn’t think the truth would be acceptable. “Well, Cap’n, we visited England, one of the South Sea Islands, took a cruise on the Titanic, and were beset by Viking warriors who stuck a spear in Starsky’s side. Oh, by the way, Starsky had his leg bitten off by a shark and we had to go into the future to grow him a new one. That’s not even mentioning the gig on the pirate ship or the trip across the Nile.” He and Starsky had never really talked about how they would explain their absence. He realized now that they had thought they’d never return.

He had a reprieve for a minute when Dobey looked around and asked where Starsky was.

“He’s hurt, Cap’n, They probably have him in surgery by now.”

“How’d he get hurt?”

“He’s got a sharp object in his side, sir.”

“What kind of a sharp object?”

“Well, it’s a…it’s a spear.”

“A what?”

“A spear, you know, a sharpened stick, sometimes made with a metal tip, used by ancient tribes of….”

“I don’t need a lesson from the dictionary, Hutchinson. I know what a spear is. I want to find out how he is and then the two of you have got a lot of questions to answer.”

Asking Dobey for money to make some phone calls, he excused himself and called Starsky’s mother and his own family, telling them they’d explain later. He was about to call Huggy, when the lanky man came up and touched Hutch on the shoulder. The detective was startled.

“Geez, Huggy, you about made me jump out of my skin.”

“Ya know, Hutch, I used to think we were pretty tight, but one friend doesn’t leave the other hanging, not knowing where he is. There are telephones all over the world, if I’m not mistaken. Where’s the other half, I don’t see him anywhere?”

“Starsk’s in surgery right now, but I don’t think he’s hurt too badly.”

“Where were you, man? I tried all my contacts and I’ve always been able to get a line on you. Hell, with that circus wagon Starsky drives, somebody’s got to see it. Then when we finally found the car, nobody knew what to think.”

“I know, Hug, you all had to be worried sick. I can’t explain right now, but just know that we had no way of getting hold of you.”

“You, I trust, it’s that other fool I have trouble believing.”

“Let’s wait until that other fool wakes up before we delve into this, Hug. Okay?”

“I guess that’ll have to do for now. What happened to Starsky?”

“He’s got a spear sticking out of his side.”

“A spear? Good Lord, Hutch. It’s sounds like you were in Zimbabwe or somewhere.”

“Or somewhere,” Hutch muttered under his breath.

They headed back to the emergency room.

“How’d you know about this, Huggy?”

“I told you I have good contacts. Everybody on the streets knows the Dynamic Duo is back.”

A doctor in scrubs walked out of the ER door.

“Are you with David Starsky?”

“Yes, how is he?”

“Are you Leif?”

“No, I’m his partner, Ken Hutchinson.”

“He keeps talking about someone named Leif, unusual name.”

“Is he ok?”

“I think he’ll be fine. The projectile we removed didn’t hit any vital organs. He’s lost quite a bit of blood, but we’re replacing that. I think he’ll be able to go home in a couple days.”

Hutch felt such gratitude that he almost hugged the doctor. The whole incident was over and they were home safe. Now what to tell Dobey? It was best to stick to the true story as much as he could, before they carted him off to the Psych Ward.

“Okay, Hutchinson, I heard what the doctor said. Now I want you to sit down and tell me what the hell’s going on.”

“Cap’n, you know we’d never go away and cause everybody all this pain without being forced to go.”

“So, it was a kidnapping.”

“Kidnapping, that’s a good word for it, all right.”

“Who was responsible for doing this?”

“We just don’t know, Cap’n. They covered all the bases.” `Now comes the lying part,’ Hutch thought. “They blindfolded us, we were tied and gagged and they put earplugs in. They kept us tied up the whole time except when they fed us or took us to the bathroom.”

“Hutch, it’s been three weeks. Nobody was contacted for a ransom demand. Why would they do this to you?”

“I figure it’s probably one of our old enemies, Cap’n, didn’t want to kill us, just make us suffer for awhile.”

“How did you get away?”

“They dumped us, way out in the Warehouse District. Starsky went berserk, totally psycho, when they got us out of the van, and they hit him with that spear before they left. You know what a temper he has, Cap’n.”

“Did you hear any names; recognize any voices, anything we can trace them with?”

“No, sir. We don’t have a clue. It took me awhile to get untied and to get Starsk here. It wasn’t easy. No phones out there, you know.”

“It sounds pretty weird to me, I mean…” Huggy let his opinion out and got kicked in the shins for his trouble.

“Well, as soon as you get out of here and get some sleep, something to eat and get that partner of yours settled, I want you down at the station, both of you. Maybe Starsky will remember something you’ve forgotten.”

“We’ll be there, Cap’n.

Dobey shook Hutch’s hand and patted him on the shoulder, coming as close to hugging one of his men as he ever had. He composed himself and stepped back a little. “I’m sure glad you’re back with us, son. We’ve really missed you. In an official capacity, of course.”

“Of course, sir.” Hutch watched as Dobey walked away. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“You better get you some waders.”

“Waiters, Hug, what do I need with a waiter, right now?”

“I said waders, like those rubber pants you fish in.”

Now Hutch was totally confused. “If you’ve got something to say, just come out with it.”

“I’m just saying that the bullshit’s getting deep around these parts and I want to know what the real story is.”

Hutch sighed deeply. “And you will, Hug, but can we wait until Starsky’s okay? I want him in on it, so you don’t think it’s just me that’s gone round the bend.”

“Round the bend? Hutch, that boy’s ‘lights are on, but nobody’s home’ ever since I’ve known him. What makes you think I’ll believe him?”

“Huggy, I’m going to see if they’ll let me see him. We’ll sit down with you later and discuss this.”

“Okay, man, but I ain’t as gullible as Dobey. It had better be a good story.”

“If people would believe us, we could make millions.”

“You’re not planning on making anymore trips, are you?”

“Jeezus, I hope not. It would be more than my heart could take.”

Huggy saluted Hutch and walked away. It was only a couple of minutes before a nurse tapped the detective on the shoulder and told him he could see his partner. She mentioned that they usually don’t let anyone in until the patient is out of recovery. This was an exception, though. She said he’d understand why when he went in the door.

He’d thought that Starsky would be asleep or at least drowsy, but he was worried about Hutch and he wouldn’t rest until he’d seen him with his own two eyes.

The injured man was in a full-blown panic attack and was in danger of being transferred to the Psych Ward if he didn’t calm down and act reasonably sane. With Starsky, who knew exactly what that meant?

His partner did. He grabbed Starsky by the shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye.

“Hu-utch?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Gordo, and we’re home where we belong. You’re in the hospital, courtesy of a Viking spear that one of them stuck in your side. I think they wanted to have a pig roast.”

“Ya know, you got all the finesse of a garbage collector. Here I am, probably dying and you’re making jokes. Do you think I’d do something like that?”

“Seems like I remember being in this very hospital hurt and alone. What did my good buddy do? He started extolling the virtues of his new partner. And what happened? I had to crawl out of bed, with a bullet wound in the shoulder and not only solve the case, but rescue you AND your new partner, who were seconds away from getting your heads blown off. You do remember that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I’ll have to give you that, but as far as being alone, you had nurses flocking all around you.”

“Ahem, excuse me, please.”

They’d been so busy arguing that neither of them had seen the little man who’d seemingly popped up out of nowhere.

He was slightly oriental looking in aspect, very short and rotund, with a white beard and glasses. A bit like Santa Claus, with a little Hop Sing thrown in. He wore old-fashioned clothing, very neat, business-like but comfortable. He didn’t introduce himself or explain how he’d materialized in a third floor Memorial Hospital room, but got straight to his job.

“May I please have the disk,” he asked in a pleasant melodious voice. There was a kind of whistle that accompanied it, like bird song in the morning.

“How do I know it’s yours?” Hutch asked.

“You just must believe,” he answered. “Have the last three weeks taught you nothing?”

Hutch handed it over.

“I hope you’re going to tell us what that thing is and why we’ve been hopping all over time and space,” Starsky asked.

“My appearance is not what it seems. I am an otherworlder. That is what we call ourselves. Most of your people call us aliens. We’ve been observing your world for a long time. We have no plans to take over your planet and make all of you our slaves.”

His gaze rested on Starsky for an extra moment. “Not like the movies and TV shows you so much enjoy, Detective Starsky.

“Sometimes we find a planet worth saving and we do a little redirecting, when it looks like things may be going off in the opposite way that they should,” he went on. “We search for people of integrity, able to make the right decisions, because they put others above themselves. We observe them for a long time, so we really get to know them and, if they turn out to be not what they seem, we wipe any memory of us and our planet off their minds. The good ones, the earth people we can really trust, we allow them to keep their recollections of us, and sometimes we ask them to be useful again. If they choose not to, we don’t force them.”

“Are you like gods, then?” Starsky had to ask.

“Oh my, no. We leave the creating to him. People would be foolish to believe, with so many universes, that yours is the only one created, though. We just manipulate a few things that keep your world going in the right direction.”

“Why didn’t you come to us, then and ask for help, instead of leaving us floundering out there without a clue?” Hutch queried.

“If I had, would you have believed me?”

“I see what you mean. So the first series of leaps is a shocker, but after that, we know what’s going on?”

“There are some good people whose minds can’t handle that first experience. Those are the ones, too, whose memories must be erased.”

“So what on earth did we accomplish with all this. I can’t see that we did anyone any good at all.” Starsky grumbled.

“You know when you throw a pebble in a pond, the water rings reach out further and further. Throw in another pebble and it touches the rings of the first one. And so it goes. There are good people and bad people on this planet you call earth. Each of those people has a group of friends and family, one of those has another group and so on until everyone is connected in some way. If, whether by accident or plan, one link from that chain is broken, it can affect hundreds of thousands of people.”

“Can you tell us who we helped, or is that not for us to know?”

“I can tell you and I will. You’ve been among the best of your world’s citizens, because of the love you carry for each other. That love spills over to your friends, your family and ultimately, those you help in your job. We’ve observed you long enough to make that evaluation, so we put things into action. We made sure you found the disk, and then you learned how to use it.”

“What was the first leap all about?”

“The King and Queen of England were not good rulers. When the King found out about the Queen’s treachery, and we made sure he did, he divorced her and the new queen was a gentle girl who taught the King a few things he needed to know about humanity.”

“And the island?”

“Your sudden appearance and disappearance had those cannibals believing that their actions were bringing punishment from the gods and they all jumped into the sea, ending the last tribe of cannibals, who were preying on the other islanders around them.”

“But isn’t there a better way to do things without killing people?” Starsky asked.

“Is there in your line of work?” The little man asked.

“Touché,” Hutch said.

Starsky butted in, “And what about the pirate ship? I didn’t appreciate getting my leg chomped off, you know.”

“Ah, that was unforeseen. We can’t control the animal world. But we sent you to the future, where incidentally one of the best things happened. Some of those people you talked to there started a group of activists against euthanasia. Some of the elderly have banded together and fought for the right to live and some have won.”

“That old west gig wasn’t much fun, although Hutch, here, was burnin’ with excitement.”

Hutch flushed red with embarrassment.

“The man you killed, Detective Starsky, if allowed to live, would have led a band of marauders who would have ridden through the west, killing many people.”

“I notice you didn’t let Hutch’s dainty little size twelve loafers get dirty, while I got flogged, imprisoned, speared and, in general, enslaved all over the place. Was there some reason I got the royal treatment?”

“You are the strong one, who has been through much and still, after all the tragedies in your life, are able to love without bitterness. That takes a strong man, a man who really cares deeply. In honor of that, we gave you a gift. We allowed you to talk to your father before he died. Do you know many who can chose between two of the most beloved people in their life and pick the right one.”

“Where did Hutch’s gift come in?”

“The knowledge that you would chose him over anyone. Do you think that’s a gift many people can be sure of in their spouses?”

Hutch looked down at the ring on his finger. “You gave us another gift, didn’t you?”

“Well, it isn’t legal here, but in your hearts, you are now as one. And you know that in the future people will accept others like you.”

“What about the war? What did we do there?” Hutch asked.

“You were able to show the doctors some of the modern medical techniques that you learned in the university. There were also some evil men who would have become carpetbaggers and made money off the war during the Restoration Period.”

“What about the trip across the Nile and having to wear collars with leashes and nothing more than g-strings. Who did that benefit?”

“You must allow us a brief moment of enjoyment, Detective Starsky. Otherworlders do have a sense of humor. Even though it’s in the past, you must admit that your behavior has been rather chauvinistic. We just gave you a little payback. Unfortunately Detective Hutchinson had to pay the price along with you.”

“Now you owe me, buddy,” Hutch chuckled.

“The Titanic was a big failure. We couldn’t bear to see all those people die.”

“They never did, son, you prevented it. After the two of you vanished into thin air, Captain Smith thought maybe you were guardian angels and followed your instructions to the letter. No one perished. There were many good and influential people you saved there.”

“What about the Vikings? We weren’t there long enough to help.”

“Oh, but you were. When Leif Ericson came into the barn and saved you two from sure death, the marauders kept on going without finding him. Later he was able to lead raiding parties to route the bands of killers. He also discovered America 500 years before Columbus and established a colony there. The colony didn’t last, but it was his charts that led Columbus to find the new land later.”

“I must go, but before I go, there is something I can do for you.” He went to Starsky’s bedside and pulled off the bandages that were covering his wound. He ran his hands along the lengthy gash and Starsky’s skin began to glow. As he got to the end of the pierced skin, it started to become new skin. Even the sutures were gone. There wasn’t a scar.

“Now you can go home with your spouse. May we call on you again if we have a big project?”

Starsky and Hutch looked at each other. There was fear and apprehension in their eyes, but also pride in the job they’d been asked to do.

Hutch answered for both of them. “Could you give us some warning the next time? If this happens again, I don’t believe we’ll have a job to come back to.”

The odd little man nodded his head.

“Before you go, won’t you tell us your name?”

“You couldn’t pronounce it if I did. Call me whatever you wish.”

“I got it, Hutch; we’ll call him Father Time.”

“Father Time. I rather like that.” Then he just faded away until there was just a glimmer and like a flame, he was gone.

Starsky made room on the bed for his partner and the weary time-travelers relaxed. They held hands and leaned against each other.

“What do ya think that doctors gonna say when he sees my side, Hutch?”

“We’ll just tell him you’re an extra fast healer.” Hutch chuckled.

“Yeah, they say time heals all wounds.” Starsky began to laugh, too.

“It’s just a matter of time.”

“That’s been proven time and time again.”

“If I could save time in a bottle.”

“Time and tide wait for no man.”

“Oh, that’s profound, Hutch. Tell it to me one more time.”

“I’ve told you that time after time.”

They were laughing so hysterically that they didn’t notice the nurse come in the room.

“Detective, you’re not allowed out of bed. You’ve got stitches you might tear open.”

“Sorry, it was time to get up.” He lifted up the hospital gown and showed her that there were no stitches.

“I’m going to get the doctor.”

“Have a good time,” Starsky called after her.

“Time we were leaving, Lover,” Hutch said, still snorting with laughter.

“Time to go home, Baby-blue.”

“Time to make love to you.” They laid back, heads together on the same pillow, to wait for the doctor.

“Hey, Hutch, can we someday go and look up that passenger list and see if we’re really on it?”

But Hutch had succumbed to the rigors of time. He was lightly snoring.

Starsky brushed a few stray hairs off his partner’s forehead.

“Ya know…there’s just nobody I’d rather be spending my time with, Baby-Blue.”

THE END