Nowhere to Go

Hutch thinks back on one of his worst decisions.

Originally published in the 2006 SHareCon zine.

It’s been three days
Since I saw a look on your face
I can never forget.
Especially
Since I put it there.
When I walked out of that room,
Tucking in my clothes and
Smelling of Sex…
And Kira.
I wanted to be anywhere but there.
I wanted it to be anytime but then.
I wanted her to be gone
And you and I
Back in that bedroom…
In that bed.
But you came at me
In a rage I’d seldom seen before.
Certainly never directed at me,
Though there have been other times
It might well have been deserved.
I tried to hold you
But you wouldn’t be consoled.
I took the punches,
You’ve got quite a left
There, buddy. But I couldn’t
Hit you back. I never lifted a
Fist… at you or in my own protection.
A hand… yes. Reaching out to rub away
The pain in your face, your eyes.
But you batted it away, unwanted.
You stormed away and I felt
Alone, bereft, as if I were the
Injured party.
Hardly that.
But it’s been three days and
I miss you. I’d like to go back
To make it never have happened,
But I’ve nowhere to go.